*Means thought speech* - Flashbacks –



I was surrounded by people, all of them with weapons, each one pointed at me. I reached out my bare hands towards them. My hands of death. The people began screaming, dropped one by one as my pale hands touched them. My victims lay around me, all of them dead. I retracted my hands and stared at them. They were covered with blood. Their blood. I began to scream as the blood continued to drip from my hands, forming large puddle around me. Red hands reached out of the blood and grabbed at my legs. I fought against their grip as they pulled me down. I let out one last scream as I disappeared down into the blood and everything turned red.



"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". I awoke on the floor of the shower, my skin burning with indescribable pain.

Ignoring the pain, I carefully stood up and walked over to my closet. Wincing as I looked down at my red inflamed skin, I dried myself off. Opening up my wardrobe, I picked out a black pair of Jeans, a green long sleeved T-shirt and a matching pair of green gloves.

As I was cleaning up the mess I had felt the Professor enter my mind, so I slammed up my mental shields. *Go Away* I shouted at him, trying to push him out of my head. He resisted against my feeble attempt.

*If something is wrong Marie…* he started.

*DON'T CALL ME THAT! * I screamed with one final mental push.

With that, the professor retreated out of my mind as quietly as he came. I went to the window, opened it and stared out. It was mid-morning, the sun bright and warm against my skin. I looked over the gardens, to the giant fields. Logan was out on the furthest field, teaching his self- defense class. I watched as the students watched with intense concentration as he carefully demonstrated how to disarm a attacker with a knife. Suddenly memories flooded my head

---The first attacker came at me from the front, knife in his left hand. I quickly disarmed him and shoved my fist into his nose. I felt a wire wrapped around my neck from behind and pull tight. Unable to scream, I kicked him in the groin and the second attacker released his hold. I dropped to the ground, desperately gasping for breath. He stood in front of me, his hands grabbed my shoulders, pulling me to my feet. I quickly grabbed at the knife on the ground and stabbed it into his neck. His face went pale as he fell to the ground and gasped for breath. I stood there watching as he took his final breath, his eyes locked on mine. I was satisfied with myself. And my hands were covered in blood, his blood ---

Shaking the memory from my head, I turned away from the windows. I walked to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My face was slightly burnt, but nothing that couldn't be concealed with a little make-up. After carefully applying enough make-up to hiding the burns, I opened the door and peered out. There was no-one in the hallway, so I walked out of my room and locked the door behind me.

I walked down the halls, avoiding the other students who walked past. I walked into the seemingly empty rec room and sat down on the couch. The only other person in the room was Jubilee, who sat silently on a chair, watching the TV. Unable to break the awkward silence, I stood up and walked over to grab a soda from the fridge.

When I turned around, Jubilee stood blocking my way.

"We need you Rogue. If you wish to take a couple of weeks off, away from the X-men and the mansion, the Professor said you can." she said, her eyes pleading. "But we need you."

I hugged her gently and stepped past. I turned to her and looked into her eyes.

"I can't do this anymore, Jubilee. Each battle I watch people get hurt or get killed and some of that is my fault." I paused, trying not to let myself get choked up. "And each time that happens, in every mission, I feel less and less pity and sorrow for those people. And its like watching a movie. I don't feel anything. I'm scared Jubilee, I can't allow myself to become that." I said, walking past her and paused at the door.

I'm sorry" I said as I left the room, leaving the stunned Jubilee behind.

I quickly made my way up to my room to escape the sound. I quietly closed the door behind me and locked it, I made my way to my bed and reached underneath. I grabbed at the rough material and pulled it out. My army green backpack. I stood up holding the bag to my chest and slowly walked over to my closet.

I packed my possessions in the large bag, trying hard to suppress the emotion of leaving the place I had called home for so long. And then I found the box. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I opened it and picked out Logan's dog-tags. I fell to my knees and just cried. I didn't want to leave but I had no choice.

Dropping the tags to the ground, I wiped my eyes and sat staring at them. He had given them to me as a promise. That he would never leave me. And that he would always protect me. Ripping a piece of paper from a nearby notebook, I quickly wrote down a note to him and wrapped the dog tags inside the paper. Giving the small parcel a quick kiss, I lay it on my bed and continued packing.