A Problem on Namek
By RowlingIdol (Lauren G.)
A Big Note For Everyone Who Reads This: This is rated PG for humor and MINOR, not major, MINOR sexual situations. And in one Namek/Freiza saga episode, Vegeta mentions he trains a lot (duh) and drinks lots of juice and that's how he is so strong. So that's the deal with Juicy Juice in this story. Vegeta thinks Apple juice is weak, and Grape is strong. Get it? Also, I have this idea that Nameks don't look as old as they look. Like, they grow up fast. And if you think my idea of Kahoma and Dende getting together is just as bizarre as Oolong and Puar doing the dirty, you stink. This is a humorous story. You like humor stories. *nod nod* We like the Nameks. *nod nod* We like Dende. *nod nod* We like my made up characters. *nod nod* You won't trash this story. *nod---* Ah! Come on!!!! Just read.
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Once upon a time, there was a little greenish bluish, oh what the hell, Once upon a time there was a planet called Namek. Namek was the home to many and I mean many male Nameks. Nameks are part human, part lizard. Thus, their green skin. :) And if you don't watch Dragonball Z, this story isn't for you!!!!
Our story begins when yet another Namek has died and laid eggs. At least I think that's how Namek eggs are made. If not. *shudder*. And if you're wondering what time period it is, I have no clue. This is just a fan fiction that is supposed to make you laugh because it's funny. If you really want to know what time period it is, it'll probably be sometime after the ever so long fusion saga and Majin Super Buu is dead, and before Dragonball GT. Happy?
FINALLY!!!! I will start the story!!!!!! So there are new Namek eggs and they're about to hatch. So let's join my made up characters Pearic and Quark and hot boy Dende. And if you think my made up names are funny, tough because who in their right mind would name their son after a flute like instrument *coughpiccolocough*. No offense to Piccolo lovers. "Look!" Dende said. "They're hatching!!!" Dende said. "What should we name them?" "I don't know." Quark said. "How about Horun and Kahone?" "Okay." Dende said. "Piccolo!!! Over here!" Dende called. Piccolo walked over. "What." He said with absolutely no emotion in his voice. "The eggs are hatching. Do you want to see?" "Fine." Piccolo said. The other Nameks came over to watch. One egg hatched first. "Yay!!!!" said the Nameks. "Yay." Said Piccolo. "This one will be Horun." Pearic said. The second one hatched minutes later. "Ya---" the Nameks started to cheer before they noticed something was terribly, Terribly, TERRIBLY wrong with it. "AHHHH!!" yelled a Namek. "Mutant Namek!!!!" "Aren't we all Mutants? I mean, lizards and humans mixed together?" said yet another Namek. The Nameks ignored him and concentrated on the problem blossoming before their eyes. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Other Nameks yelled. "The Namek is missing the 'Gift' that all Nameks have!" said another one. "The Gift!!!!!!" the Nameks said. "We should take the Namek to the doctor!!!" Quark said. They picked up the Namek, still half in its egg.
"I don't know what's wrong with him." The Namek medicine man said. "The Namek God must hate him!" "It's a cursed Namek! Cursed, I tell you! Cursed!!!!" "Let's kill it!" "No! Wait!" said Dende. "I know someone who might be able to confirm what's wrong with him. Piccolo, get Bulma on a ship here immediately!!!" "Why." Piccolo said. "Or else we'll be forced to murder one of our own kind!" "And your point is." "Piccolo! Please!" "Okay. Fine." Piccolo flew off.
*****************
Piccolo teleported himself to Kami's place. "Oh! Piccolo!" said Mr. Popo. "What brings you here?" "We have a problem on Namek." Piccolo said, walking towards the edge of the lookout. "What is it? Has another villain taken over the planet?" "No." "Then what?" Mr. Popo raced after Piccolo. Piccolo stopped at the edge of the lookout. He turned around. "More eggs hatched today." "Goodness, did one die?" "No. We don't know what's wrong with it. We need Bulma's help." Piccolo then stepped off the lookout and floated to the ground, before flying to Capsule Corp.
"Come back here woman!!!" Vegeta said, chasing after Bulma in the house. "Eeeeeeeee!" Bulma squealed. Vegeta caught his wife and embraced her in a loving kiss. Okay, I think I've read one Bulma/Vegeta romance too many. Suddenly Vegeta drew his head away. "AAAAAAAAAA!" He screamed like a girl. "Oh hi Piccolo!" Bulma said. "Hello. Bulma, we need your help." Piccolo said. "Oh yeah?" Vegeta said. "Why should we help you?" "Behave." Bulma said. "What do you need help with?" "More Nameks hatched today. There's a problem with one of them." "Oh dear! What can I do?" "You could use your technology to try to determine a diagnosis. Or else we'll have to kill it." "Oh! How sad! KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!" Bulma screamed at the top of her lungs. Trunks burst out of the GR and Bra ran down the hall holding a Barbie. "Daddy!!!!! I thought you were going to play dolls with me. You promised you would make Ken take Barbie to the prom!!!!!" Bra whined, holding onto Vegeta's leg. "What Mom?" Trunks asked. "Pack your clothes. We're going to Namek." "Namek?" Trunks asked. "Do what your mother says!" Vegeta said. Trunks ran to his room. "Daddy, help me pack my clothes." Bra said, tugging on his spandex pants. Vegeta turned away from Piccolo. "Okay." Vegeta said and took her to her room. "Piccolo, you're going to help me prepare the ship." Bulma said. "Why. I can just teleport everyone there." "All right then. Then you need to help me collect all my capsules for the trip."
Vegeta was forced to hold Bra's Barbie Maui Beach House in all it's pink glory. Then Piccolo teleported everyone to Namek. "Wow!!!!!!! It's blue!!!!! It's green!!!! It's. Oh hell." Trunks said. "Where do we go now?" Bulma asked. "I hate this place.." Mumbled Vegeta. "But honey, this is where we kind of got to know each other. Isn't it romantic?" Vegeta went red. Piccolo grinned. "Vegeta and the kids can stay here. They should find a place for you to set up house. I'll take you to the medicine clinic." Piccolo and Bulma walked off. "Daddy, I have to use the bathroom." Bra said, tugging again on his spandex. "Go in the bushes." "But they look weird." Bra said. "GO IN THE BUSHES!" Vegeta said. Bra began to sob hysterically. "Now, don't cry." Vegeta said, panicking. Bra cried impossibly louder. "Don't cry. Don't cry. BULMA!!!!!!!!!!! Don't cry. Don't cry. I'll play dress up with you later." "Promise?" Bra said. "Sure.. Whatever. Just stop crying." "Okay!" Bra hugged her Dad's leg. They quickly found a spot and Vegeta used the Mansion Capsule. They had a bit smaller replica of Capsule Corp. "Now. Let's wait for your mother to get back." Vegeta said. He stuck the plastic straw in the Grape Juicy Juice box and drank it all in one gulp.
At the medicine clinic, all the Nameks were wearing masks and protective eye wear. They also had on big plastic gloves, afraid to touch the baby Namek. They were standing on their tip toes, trying to feed the baby water from a bottle at a far distance. Bulma and Piccolo were handed the protective gear to wear. They didn't put it on. "But miss!" said a Namek through his mask. "It's dangerous! It's cursed! It's mutant!!! It's-" "It's a girl." Bulma said taking one look at the Namek. Piccolo slapped himself in the forehead. He had teleported an entire family to an entirely different planet just to confirm a gender difference. "A what?" "I remember this." Said one of the Nameks. He tore off his mask. "Dende!" Bulma said. "Hi Bulma." Dende said. "Bulma mentioned this to me the first time we met. There are boys and girls. Brothers and sisters." "What?" said the other Nameks. "I'll handle this." Bulma said. "Everyone on Namek is a boy right?" The Nameks nodded. "You have one of these, right?" Bulma pulled down Piccolo's pants, revealing every Nameks 'gift'. (Okay people. You know what I'm talking about..) "BULMA!" he said, finally with some puncuation. "Right." They said. Piccolo pulled his pants back up, slightly red. "But this is different. This is a girl. Like me." Bulma said. "What's the difference?" said a Namek, shrugging. It was Bulma's turn to go red. "Well, girls have one of those." Bulma said, pointing to the girl Namek. "OOOOOOOO Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh." The Nameks said, understanding. "Kapeesh?" Bulma said. "So it's not cursed?" "Or mutated?" "No. Now give her some clothes." Bulma ordered. The Nameks put a cape and pants on the girl. "No. No. No." Bulma said. "Give her a shirt. And a skirt. That way you'll be able to tell the difference." "Why? Our leader wears a skirt." Quark said. Bulma groaned and rolled her eyes. Pearic was unsuccessfully putting the shirt on the Namek, as he had on a tunic shirt. "Give me her." Bulma said, fed up with them. "Her name is Kahoma." Dende said, holding the Namek close to him. "Okay. Kahoma." Bulma said. Dende handed Kahoma to her. "I'll take her over to our place and give her some of Bra's clothes." "I'm coming too." Dende said. "Piccolo, are you coming?" "Fine." Piccolo said, and followed them out of the clinic.
Bulma and Dende entered the Capsule Corp. Mobile home. "More tea, Daddy?" Bra said. She was wearing one of Bulma's old dresses and high heels that were too big for her. She had a big floppy hat and big earrings on. "Sure." Vegeta said lazily, holding out his tea cup. He had a shawl wrapped around his shoulder, and tiara perched in his hair, and costume jewelry on his wrists and around his neck. Piccolo almost laughed out loud when he saw Vegeta sitting at the plastic Fisher Price table. Bra abandoned Vegeta at the tea table and ran to help pick out clothes for Kahoma. "This is Barbie. And this is Ken." Bra said to Kahoma, holding up her dolls. "Honey, she probably has no clue what you're saying." Bulma said. "She's just a baby." "Us Nameks grow up fast. She'll learn quick." Piccolo said. "Piccolo!!!! Play Barbie's with me!!!!" Bra whined. "I don't play such foolish things. Ask your father." Piccolo said. "He already played with me today. Now it's your turn." Bra said, stepping hard on his foot. "Ow! *Brat*" he added under his breath. "Play with me now!!!!!!!!" Bra screamed. "Bulma. Do something." Piccolo said. "She won't stop until she gets her way." Bulma said with a smirk. Piccolo sighed and sat down on the floor. "Fine. But only for 5 minutes." Piccolo said. "Here. Dress Barbie so she can go on her date with Ken." Bra said, handing Piccolo a naked Barbie doll. Piccolo went red.
To be continued in the next thrilling chapter of 'A Problem on Namek'
Note: How was that? Very humorous huh? Please review! No trash, recycle.
By RowlingIdol (Lauren G.)
A Big Note For Everyone Who Reads This: This is rated PG for humor and MINOR, not major, MINOR sexual situations. And in one Namek/Freiza saga episode, Vegeta mentions he trains a lot (duh) and drinks lots of juice and that's how he is so strong. So that's the deal with Juicy Juice in this story. Vegeta thinks Apple juice is weak, and Grape is strong. Get it? Also, I have this idea that Nameks don't look as old as they look. Like, they grow up fast. And if you think my idea of Kahoma and Dende getting together is just as bizarre as Oolong and Puar doing the dirty, you stink. This is a humorous story. You like humor stories. *nod nod* We like the Nameks. *nod nod* We like Dende. *nod nod* We like my made up characters. *nod nod* You won't trash this story. *nod---* Ah! Come on!!!! Just read.
__________________________________________________________
Once upon a time, there was a little greenish bluish, oh what the hell, Once upon a time there was a planet called Namek. Namek was the home to many and I mean many male Nameks. Nameks are part human, part lizard. Thus, their green skin. :) And if you don't watch Dragonball Z, this story isn't for you!!!!
Our story begins when yet another Namek has died and laid eggs. At least I think that's how Namek eggs are made. If not. *shudder*. And if you're wondering what time period it is, I have no clue. This is just a fan fiction that is supposed to make you laugh because it's funny. If you really want to know what time period it is, it'll probably be sometime after the ever so long fusion saga and Majin Super Buu is dead, and before Dragonball GT. Happy?
FINALLY!!!! I will start the story!!!!!! So there are new Namek eggs and they're about to hatch. So let's join my made up characters Pearic and Quark and hot boy Dende. And if you think my made up names are funny, tough because who in their right mind would name their son after a flute like instrument *coughpiccolocough*. No offense to Piccolo lovers. "Look!" Dende said. "They're hatching!!!" Dende said. "What should we name them?" "I don't know." Quark said. "How about Horun and Kahone?" "Okay." Dende said. "Piccolo!!! Over here!" Dende called. Piccolo walked over. "What." He said with absolutely no emotion in his voice. "The eggs are hatching. Do you want to see?" "Fine." Piccolo said. The other Nameks came over to watch. One egg hatched first. "Yay!!!!" said the Nameks. "Yay." Said Piccolo. "This one will be Horun." Pearic said. The second one hatched minutes later. "Ya---" the Nameks started to cheer before they noticed something was terribly, Terribly, TERRIBLY wrong with it. "AHHHH!!" yelled a Namek. "Mutant Namek!!!!" "Aren't we all Mutants? I mean, lizards and humans mixed together?" said yet another Namek. The Nameks ignored him and concentrated on the problem blossoming before their eyes. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Other Nameks yelled. "The Namek is missing the 'Gift' that all Nameks have!" said another one. "The Gift!!!!!!" the Nameks said. "We should take the Namek to the doctor!!!" Quark said. They picked up the Namek, still half in its egg.
"I don't know what's wrong with him." The Namek medicine man said. "The Namek God must hate him!" "It's a cursed Namek! Cursed, I tell you! Cursed!!!!" "Let's kill it!" "No! Wait!" said Dende. "I know someone who might be able to confirm what's wrong with him. Piccolo, get Bulma on a ship here immediately!!!" "Why." Piccolo said. "Or else we'll be forced to murder one of our own kind!" "And your point is." "Piccolo! Please!" "Okay. Fine." Piccolo flew off.
*****************
Piccolo teleported himself to Kami's place. "Oh! Piccolo!" said Mr. Popo. "What brings you here?" "We have a problem on Namek." Piccolo said, walking towards the edge of the lookout. "What is it? Has another villain taken over the planet?" "No." "Then what?" Mr. Popo raced after Piccolo. Piccolo stopped at the edge of the lookout. He turned around. "More eggs hatched today." "Goodness, did one die?" "No. We don't know what's wrong with it. We need Bulma's help." Piccolo then stepped off the lookout and floated to the ground, before flying to Capsule Corp.
"Come back here woman!!!" Vegeta said, chasing after Bulma in the house. "Eeeeeeeee!" Bulma squealed. Vegeta caught his wife and embraced her in a loving kiss. Okay, I think I've read one Bulma/Vegeta romance too many. Suddenly Vegeta drew his head away. "AAAAAAAAAA!" He screamed like a girl. "Oh hi Piccolo!" Bulma said. "Hello. Bulma, we need your help." Piccolo said. "Oh yeah?" Vegeta said. "Why should we help you?" "Behave." Bulma said. "What do you need help with?" "More Nameks hatched today. There's a problem with one of them." "Oh dear! What can I do?" "You could use your technology to try to determine a diagnosis. Or else we'll have to kill it." "Oh! How sad! KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!" Bulma screamed at the top of her lungs. Trunks burst out of the GR and Bra ran down the hall holding a Barbie. "Daddy!!!!! I thought you were going to play dolls with me. You promised you would make Ken take Barbie to the prom!!!!!" Bra whined, holding onto Vegeta's leg. "What Mom?" Trunks asked. "Pack your clothes. We're going to Namek." "Namek?" Trunks asked. "Do what your mother says!" Vegeta said. Trunks ran to his room. "Daddy, help me pack my clothes." Bra said, tugging on his spandex pants. Vegeta turned away from Piccolo. "Okay." Vegeta said and took her to her room. "Piccolo, you're going to help me prepare the ship." Bulma said. "Why. I can just teleport everyone there." "All right then. Then you need to help me collect all my capsules for the trip."
Vegeta was forced to hold Bra's Barbie Maui Beach House in all it's pink glory. Then Piccolo teleported everyone to Namek. "Wow!!!!!!! It's blue!!!!! It's green!!!! It's. Oh hell." Trunks said. "Where do we go now?" Bulma asked. "I hate this place.." Mumbled Vegeta. "But honey, this is where we kind of got to know each other. Isn't it romantic?" Vegeta went red. Piccolo grinned. "Vegeta and the kids can stay here. They should find a place for you to set up house. I'll take you to the medicine clinic." Piccolo and Bulma walked off. "Daddy, I have to use the bathroom." Bra said, tugging again on his spandex. "Go in the bushes." "But they look weird." Bra said. "GO IN THE BUSHES!" Vegeta said. Bra began to sob hysterically. "Now, don't cry." Vegeta said, panicking. Bra cried impossibly louder. "Don't cry. Don't cry. BULMA!!!!!!!!!!! Don't cry. Don't cry. I'll play dress up with you later." "Promise?" Bra said. "Sure.. Whatever. Just stop crying." "Okay!" Bra hugged her Dad's leg. They quickly found a spot and Vegeta used the Mansion Capsule. They had a bit smaller replica of Capsule Corp. "Now. Let's wait for your mother to get back." Vegeta said. He stuck the plastic straw in the Grape Juicy Juice box and drank it all in one gulp.
At the medicine clinic, all the Nameks were wearing masks and protective eye wear. They also had on big plastic gloves, afraid to touch the baby Namek. They were standing on their tip toes, trying to feed the baby water from a bottle at a far distance. Bulma and Piccolo were handed the protective gear to wear. They didn't put it on. "But miss!" said a Namek through his mask. "It's dangerous! It's cursed! It's mutant!!! It's-" "It's a girl." Bulma said taking one look at the Namek. Piccolo slapped himself in the forehead. He had teleported an entire family to an entirely different planet just to confirm a gender difference. "A what?" "I remember this." Said one of the Nameks. He tore off his mask. "Dende!" Bulma said. "Hi Bulma." Dende said. "Bulma mentioned this to me the first time we met. There are boys and girls. Brothers and sisters." "What?" said the other Nameks. "I'll handle this." Bulma said. "Everyone on Namek is a boy right?" The Nameks nodded. "You have one of these, right?" Bulma pulled down Piccolo's pants, revealing every Nameks 'gift'. (Okay people. You know what I'm talking about..) "BULMA!" he said, finally with some puncuation. "Right." They said. Piccolo pulled his pants back up, slightly red. "But this is different. This is a girl. Like me." Bulma said. "What's the difference?" said a Namek, shrugging. It was Bulma's turn to go red. "Well, girls have one of those." Bulma said, pointing to the girl Namek. "OOOOOOOO Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh." The Nameks said, understanding. "Kapeesh?" Bulma said. "So it's not cursed?" "Or mutated?" "No. Now give her some clothes." Bulma ordered. The Nameks put a cape and pants on the girl. "No. No. No." Bulma said. "Give her a shirt. And a skirt. That way you'll be able to tell the difference." "Why? Our leader wears a skirt." Quark said. Bulma groaned and rolled her eyes. Pearic was unsuccessfully putting the shirt on the Namek, as he had on a tunic shirt. "Give me her." Bulma said, fed up with them. "Her name is Kahoma." Dende said, holding the Namek close to him. "Okay. Kahoma." Bulma said. Dende handed Kahoma to her. "I'll take her over to our place and give her some of Bra's clothes." "I'm coming too." Dende said. "Piccolo, are you coming?" "Fine." Piccolo said, and followed them out of the clinic.
Bulma and Dende entered the Capsule Corp. Mobile home. "More tea, Daddy?" Bra said. She was wearing one of Bulma's old dresses and high heels that were too big for her. She had a big floppy hat and big earrings on. "Sure." Vegeta said lazily, holding out his tea cup. He had a shawl wrapped around his shoulder, and tiara perched in his hair, and costume jewelry on his wrists and around his neck. Piccolo almost laughed out loud when he saw Vegeta sitting at the plastic Fisher Price table. Bra abandoned Vegeta at the tea table and ran to help pick out clothes for Kahoma. "This is Barbie. And this is Ken." Bra said to Kahoma, holding up her dolls. "Honey, she probably has no clue what you're saying." Bulma said. "She's just a baby." "Us Nameks grow up fast. She'll learn quick." Piccolo said. "Piccolo!!!! Play Barbie's with me!!!!" Bra whined. "I don't play such foolish things. Ask your father." Piccolo said. "He already played with me today. Now it's your turn." Bra said, stepping hard on his foot. "Ow! *Brat*" he added under his breath. "Play with me now!!!!!!!!" Bra screamed. "Bulma. Do something." Piccolo said. "She won't stop until she gets her way." Bulma said with a smirk. Piccolo sighed and sat down on the floor. "Fine. But only for 5 minutes." Piccolo said. "Here. Dress Barbie so she can go on her date with Ken." Bra said, handing Piccolo a naked Barbie doll. Piccolo went red.
To be continued in the next thrilling chapter of 'A Problem on Namek'
Note: How was that? Very humorous huh? Please review! No trash, recycle.