A Problem on Namek Chapter 5

By RowlingIdol (Lauren G.)

A Big Note For Everyone Who Reads This: This is rated PG for humor and MINOR, not major, MINOR sexual situations. And in one Namek/Freiza saga episode, Vegeta mentions he trains a lot (duh) and drinks lots of juice and that's how he is so strong. So that's the deal with Juicy Juice in this story. Vegeta thinks Apple juice is weak, and Grape is strong. Get it? Also, I have this idea that Nameks don't look as old as they look. Like, they grow up fast. And if you think my idea of Kahoma and Dende getting together is just as bizarre as Oolong and Puar doing the dirty, you stink. This is a humorous story. You like humor stories. *nod nod* We like the Nameks. *nod nod* We like Dende. *nod nod* We like my made up characters. *nod nod* You won't trash this story. *nod---* Ah! Come on!!!! Just read.

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"Do you know if phones work on this planet?" Videl asked Piccolo, picking up Bulma's phone. Piccolo didn't answer. "Its worth a try." Bulma said. Videl handed the phone to Gohan in exchange for Pan so she could go and feed her. Gohan listened to the phone. "There's a dial tone." Gohan said. He dialed the number. He waited until somebody picked up. "Hello? Mom?" Gohan nervously said. He held the phone away from his ear as Chi-Chi screamed into the phone. "Where in the world are you Gohan? I came over to visit but you weren't there and you left your front door unlocked!" "Sorry mom. Me and Videl had to leave in a hurry." "What about Pan?" "Oh. We brought her along too." "Where are you?" "Namek. Mom can I talk to Dad?" "NAMEK?????? NAMEK???????? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON NAMEK?" "Things." Gohan shrugged. "That's a very odd to try for more kids, Gohan." Chi-Chi replied. "Mother!!!!" Gohan whined. "Listen Mom. I need to talk to dad. We need some help here on Namek." "Again? I am not letting Goku fight anymore villains." "No mom. We need advice." Gohan hastily explained. "Gohan, Gohan, Gohan. It's the vagina you want to push into. You could have just asked me." "MOM!!!!!!!!!" Gohan yelled, going red in the face. "GET DAD ON THE PHONE!" "All right, all right. And remember Gohan, anal sex can never be too safe." "MOM!!!!!!!!!!" Gohan screamed again, shaking the house. Goku got on the phone. "Hi son! Your mother tells me you're having sex problems." "No Dad. Its not me. Its actually Dende." "Dende? Sex problems?" "Geez Gohan, you should have just said so." Chi-Chi said, picking up the other phone line. "So uh, can you come up here and give him some advice?" Gohan asked. "Sure son." There was a click and suddenly Goku appeared in the Briefs kitchen. "Hi Gohan!" Goku said. "Hi Dad." "Nice kitchen. Reminds me of Bulma's house." Goku turned around. "Oh hey guys! You're up here, too?" Goku said to them. "Hi Goku." Bulma said. "I will kill you Kakarot." Replied Vegeta. "Same to you buddy." Goku said. "Gohan, where's Videl and Pan?" "Videl's feeding Pan somewhere." Gohan shrugged. "So where's Dende?" "He's at his house." Piccolo said. "I will take you to him."

At Dende's:

"Okay. Well. Lets see... Sex education..." Goku tapped his chin as he went into deep thought. "How to explain... Well uh.. I take it you want to know about male to male sex because there are no girls on Namek, and any of the girls here are not available." "Goku!" Bulma said. "What?" Goku said, raising his hands in confusion. "Uh Dad? There's one more problem." Gohan said. "What? Does Dende have that kind of cancer that attacks guys-" "No Dad." Gohan hurriedly said. Gohan looked at Piccolo. Piccolo opened up one of the doors in Dende's house. "Kahoma?" Piccolo asked. He peeked in. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" screamed Kahoma. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Piccolo. Kahoma stepped out of the bathroom into the family room of the house in a towel. Piccolo was red in the face and tried to act calm. "Hellllllllllllllllloooooooooooo Nurse!" Goku said. Then he crossed himself and prayed to Kami that Chi-Chi would never find out he said that. "Hi." Kahoma said, wringing her dark green hair out into a separate towel. "What do we have here?" Goku said. "She's a female." Piccolo said. "Oh!" Goku said grinning. He turned to Dende. "So this is the girl you want to have se---" Dende slapped a hand over Goku's mouth. "Oh. Sorry!" Goku told Dende. "Uh. Why don't we go outside.." Goku said.

Outside Goku was failing in Sex-Ed. "Well, so you uh...... Insert this here. Or you could do it here. Or here. And I think you can insert it here like this.. But I'm not positive. Gohan? What's your opinion?" "I'm going to kill you both." Videl said. Goku was posing Gohan and Videl for examples. "Dad. Uh. I don't think its working." Gohan said, lying underneath Videl who was upside down and doing half a headstand. Dende was scratching his antennae. "So you can do it through clothes?" Dende asked. "Well, I've never tried it." Goku said. "Preferably not." "Ah. Well. Uh.. What?" Dende asked. Goku fell over and Gohan got a gigantic sweat drop. "We're gonna need back up." Goku said.

"I will kill you Kakarot." Vegeta said, as he was dragged to the backyard of Dende's house. "Come on Vegeta. Lend a friend a hand!" "I will kill you Kakarot." Vegeta replied. "Okay. Bulma, you sit like this. Now Vegeta, you do this." "Get your hand off my leg Kakarot. I will kill you Kakarot." "Now do you get it, Dende?" Goku asked Dende. "No." Dende replied. Goku fell over again. "We need back-up for the back-up."

Back at Dende's, Goku was armed with several of Bra's Barbie Dolls. "Now. This is Kah-" "Don't say it! She might hear!" Dende quickly said. "Oh. Okay. Well this is.. Uh.. Street Corner Barbie and Lives in Parents Basement Ken." Goku stripped the dolls of their clothes. "So what you want to do is to put your 'rinky dink' in the 'bottle cap' and eureka! Sex!" Goku said. "Which one am I? Street Corner Barbie or Lives in Parents Basement Ken?" Goku fell over again. "I'm going to need back up for the back up for the back up. Bulma, I need to use your phone to call Krillin."

Note: Sorry if anyone was offended. There is a warning at the top of the page. Krillin is the back up for the back up for the back up? Kami save us!!!!