A Problem on Namek
Chapter 7
By RowlingIdol (Lauren G.)
A Big Note For Everyone Who Reads This: This is rated PG for humor and MINOR, not major, MINOR sexual situations. And in one Namek/Freiza saga episode, Vegeta mentions he trains a lot (duh) and drinks lots of juice and that's how he is so strong. So that's the deal with Juicy Juice in this story. Vegeta thinks Apple juice is weak, and Grape is strong. Get it? Also, I have this idea that Nameks don't look as old as they look. Like, they grow up fast. And if you think my idea of Kahoma and Dende getting together is just as bizarre as Oolong and Puar doing the dirty, you stink. This is a humorous story. You like humor stories. *nod nod* We like the Nameks. *nod nod* We like Dende. *nod nod* We like my made up characters. *nod nod* You won't trash this story. *nod---* Ah! Come on!!!! Just read.
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"Why me?" Piccolo asked, standing up and brushing crumbs off the bottom of his poofy genie pants. "Because. It's your turn!" Bulma said. Piccolo sighed. "All right." Piccolo quickly gave in. Everyone herded to Dende's house. "We're back!" Goku sang, coming in the front door. "Hi guys!" Dende said. "Would you like some water?" Dende offered. "Thank you!" Bulma said. She handed out glasses of water to everyone. They took sips, Vegeta with his pinky up. "Piccolo is going to explain sex to you now." Bulma said. "Piccolo? I thought he didn't know anything about sex." Dende said. "He does." Bulma quickly said. "Don't you Piccolo?" "Uhhhhhhhh." Piccolo said. "Where's Kahoma?" Goku asked. "Dunno." Dende shrugged. "All right. Um. Dende. This is a flower." Piccolo said, picking a flower out of the vase on the kitchen table. "Okay." "And this is the Pistil of the flower. Its like a . *whisper whisper whisper*" "Plants have pen---" Dende began but Bulma slapped a hand over his mouth. "And uh. This is the Stanma. The female part of the flower. Now this is the ovary of the flower. It's like an egg. Females have uh.. Eggs in them and uh. When the sperm from the Pistil gets into the ovary/egg of the female uh.. Then uh.. It's like sex/reproduction." Piccolo said. "Wow. Plants are so complex." Goku said. "So plants can have sex too?" Dende asked. "No. The reproduce." "I wanted to have sex with Kahoma. I didn't want to reproduce her." Dende frowned. "Ugh! I give up!" Piccolo said, throwing up his hands. "Wait! I've got an idea!" Bulma said. "What?" Goku asked. "Vegeta, go to the house and get that box of Tampons in the bathroom." "Your Tam-Whats woman?" "TAMPONS. You know. That pink box in the bathroom you're so fascinated with." Vegeta went red. He got up and went to get them. He came back with the pink box of Tampons. "Okay you listen mister." Bulma said, standing up and shoving the box in Dende's face. She took a tampon out of the box. "This is your 'little friend'." She said. "My what?" Bulma turned around to whip down a male's pants to show Dende (again) what a 'little friend' is. But to avoid the embarrassment of Bulma pulling their pants down for them, Krillin, Goku, Piccolo, and Vegeta pulled down their pants, red as cherries. "Okay." Dende said. "And this-" Bulma turned the box around and showed him the examples of how to put a tampon in. "Is a girls 'vagina'." "So that's what they're called." Dende said. "Yeah. Whatever. Now what you want to do is to put this-" Bulma held up the tampon. "And put it in this." She pointed to the example. "And move it in and out and it'll get big and-" "Bulma. I think that's enough. You don't want to traumatize him." Vegeta said, pulling Bulma back into her chair. "I think I'm understanding." Dende said. "Thanks you guys." "You're welcome." Goku said. "So Goku. You want a barbeque?" Krillin asked. "Nothing else to do now." "Okay." So they went back to Capsule Corp. for a barbeque, leaving Dende behind with the forgotten tampon box...
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"Uh.. Kahoma?" Dende asked later when Kahoma was back. "Yes Dende?" "Uh.. Wanna have sex?" "Sure. What's that?" "Uh..." "Is it some kind of flavored water? Bulma told me about those. She says it should be good for us Nameks because its still water." Kahoma walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. "If you want to have sex we should get some first. I'll go to Bulma's. I'll be right back." She left.
"Hi Bulma." Kahoma said, letting herself into the house. "Oh hi. What brings you here?" "Dende wanted to have sex. Can I get some here?" There was an explosion from the backyard. "KAKAROT!!!!! YOU LIT MY HAIR ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!" "Sorry Vegeta! I don't know how that happened!" "Do you know how many cans of hair spray it takes to get my hair to stand up like this? You can't go waving torch blowers around people with hair spray in their hair!" *SPLASH* "AAAAAAAAARRRRRGH! NOW I'M ALL WET!!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!" "The barbeque you guys!" Krillin said. "Oh yeah. Food." Vegeta said. "He.. He what?" Bulma said, choking back laughter. "Dende asked if I wanted to have sex but we didn't have any here so I came here to get some. Are you out of it or something? Darn, I wanted to try the strawberry kind." "Strawberry kind of what?" "Sex!!!! You know! Those flavored waters you told me about." Kahoma said. "Oh. That. We have that here but that's not sex. It's just flavored water." "Oh. Oh well. That's okay." Bulma gave Kahoma a bottle of flavored water and sent her on her way.
"Dende! They don't have sex at Bulma's. Turns out sex isn't flavored water after all." Kahoma set the bottled water on the table. "Uh....." Dende said. "You want me to go ask Videl? I'll go ask her." Kahoma left the house.
"Hey Videl." Kahoma said when Videl answered the door. "Oh, hey! Come in." Videl said, holding Pan. "Did you need something?" Videl asked, setting Pan in her high-chair and fixing up a bottle. "Yeah. Bulma doesn't have sex at her house. Do you have any?" "Wh-Wh-What? N-n-n-no." Videl said. "Oh. Is everything okay?" Kahoma asked Videl. "Yeah. I'm fine. What were you looking for?" Videl blushed and busied herself with the bottle. "Well, Dende asked if I wanted to have sex so I went to Bulma's house to get some. Turns out sex isn't flavored water, so I thought you might know what it is and have some." "I know what it is but we don't have any." Videl said. "What is it then?" "Oh look at the time, sorry no more time for chit chat bye!" Videl said, rushing Kahoma out the door and slamming the door. "Hmmm." Kahoma said. "Oh well. Guess I'll have to tell Dende no one has sex around here." Kahoma went back. "Sorry Dende. No one has sex. Oh well. Sorry. Well. I'm going to bed. Good night!" Kahoma went into her bedroom and shut the door. "Uh...." Dende said, lying on the couch, covering himself with a pillow.
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"You guys. We've got a problem." Bulma said, going into the backyard. "I know woman! Kakarot lit my hair on fire!" Vegeta said, almost whining. "I said I was sorry!" Goku apologized. "Never mind that." Bulma hurriedly said. "Never mind? Woman, my hair could have been ruined! The giant forehead and big widow's peak ruined!" "Shut up Vegeta or no 'fun' for you tonight." Bulma warned. Vegeta shut up. "Dende asked Kahoma to have sex with him." "YAYYYY!!!!! Good for him!" Goku said. "No Goku. She thinks sex is flavored water. Now what do we do? Dende can't go around asking Kahoma if she wants to have sex with him." "I know!" Goku instant transmissioned/teleported away and came back. "GOKU!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Bulma screamed. "BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" Master Roshi said, tropical shirt clad, with khaki shorts and red sandals. His sunglasses were perched on his nose. He had several suitcases at his sides. "The Sex Professor is in the house!!!!!!!!!! BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!" Master Roshi laughed.
Note: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! IT'S MASTER ROSHI!!!!!!! Kudos to my friend Nicole (sex ed teacher) for her tampon idea. Hmmmm. Too much DBZ tapes for me. Review!!!!!!
By RowlingIdol (Lauren G.)
A Big Note For Everyone Who Reads This: This is rated PG for humor and MINOR, not major, MINOR sexual situations. And in one Namek/Freiza saga episode, Vegeta mentions he trains a lot (duh) and drinks lots of juice and that's how he is so strong. So that's the deal with Juicy Juice in this story. Vegeta thinks Apple juice is weak, and Grape is strong. Get it? Also, I have this idea that Nameks don't look as old as they look. Like, they grow up fast. And if you think my idea of Kahoma and Dende getting together is just as bizarre as Oolong and Puar doing the dirty, you stink. This is a humorous story. You like humor stories. *nod nod* We like the Nameks. *nod nod* We like Dende. *nod nod* We like my made up characters. *nod nod* You won't trash this story. *nod---* Ah! Come on!!!! Just read.
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"Why me?" Piccolo asked, standing up and brushing crumbs off the bottom of his poofy genie pants. "Because. It's your turn!" Bulma said. Piccolo sighed. "All right." Piccolo quickly gave in. Everyone herded to Dende's house. "We're back!" Goku sang, coming in the front door. "Hi guys!" Dende said. "Would you like some water?" Dende offered. "Thank you!" Bulma said. She handed out glasses of water to everyone. They took sips, Vegeta with his pinky up. "Piccolo is going to explain sex to you now." Bulma said. "Piccolo? I thought he didn't know anything about sex." Dende said. "He does." Bulma quickly said. "Don't you Piccolo?" "Uhhhhhhhh." Piccolo said. "Where's Kahoma?" Goku asked. "Dunno." Dende shrugged. "All right. Um. Dende. This is a flower." Piccolo said, picking a flower out of the vase on the kitchen table. "Okay." "And this is the Pistil of the flower. Its like a . *whisper whisper whisper*" "Plants have pen---" Dende began but Bulma slapped a hand over his mouth. "And uh. This is the Stanma. The female part of the flower. Now this is the ovary of the flower. It's like an egg. Females have uh.. Eggs in them and uh. When the sperm from the Pistil gets into the ovary/egg of the female uh.. Then uh.. It's like sex/reproduction." Piccolo said. "Wow. Plants are so complex." Goku said. "So plants can have sex too?" Dende asked. "No. The reproduce." "I wanted to have sex with Kahoma. I didn't want to reproduce her." Dende frowned. "Ugh! I give up!" Piccolo said, throwing up his hands. "Wait! I've got an idea!" Bulma said. "What?" Goku asked. "Vegeta, go to the house and get that box of Tampons in the bathroom." "Your Tam-Whats woman?" "TAMPONS. You know. That pink box in the bathroom you're so fascinated with." Vegeta went red. He got up and went to get them. He came back with the pink box of Tampons. "Okay you listen mister." Bulma said, standing up and shoving the box in Dende's face. She took a tampon out of the box. "This is your 'little friend'." She said. "My what?" Bulma turned around to whip down a male's pants to show Dende (again) what a 'little friend' is. But to avoid the embarrassment of Bulma pulling their pants down for them, Krillin, Goku, Piccolo, and Vegeta pulled down their pants, red as cherries. "Okay." Dende said. "And this-" Bulma turned the box around and showed him the examples of how to put a tampon in. "Is a girls 'vagina'." "So that's what they're called." Dende said. "Yeah. Whatever. Now what you want to do is to put this-" Bulma held up the tampon. "And put it in this." She pointed to the example. "And move it in and out and it'll get big and-" "Bulma. I think that's enough. You don't want to traumatize him." Vegeta said, pulling Bulma back into her chair. "I think I'm understanding." Dende said. "Thanks you guys." "You're welcome." Goku said. "So Goku. You want a barbeque?" Krillin asked. "Nothing else to do now." "Okay." So they went back to Capsule Corp. for a barbeque, leaving Dende behind with the forgotten tampon box...
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"Uh.. Kahoma?" Dende asked later when Kahoma was back. "Yes Dende?" "Uh.. Wanna have sex?" "Sure. What's that?" "Uh..." "Is it some kind of flavored water? Bulma told me about those. She says it should be good for us Nameks because its still water." Kahoma walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. "If you want to have sex we should get some first. I'll go to Bulma's. I'll be right back." She left.
"Hi Bulma." Kahoma said, letting herself into the house. "Oh hi. What brings you here?" "Dende wanted to have sex. Can I get some here?" There was an explosion from the backyard. "KAKAROT!!!!! YOU LIT MY HAIR ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!" "Sorry Vegeta! I don't know how that happened!" "Do you know how many cans of hair spray it takes to get my hair to stand up like this? You can't go waving torch blowers around people with hair spray in their hair!" *SPLASH* "AAAAAAAAARRRRRGH! NOW I'M ALL WET!!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!" "The barbeque you guys!" Krillin said. "Oh yeah. Food." Vegeta said. "He.. He what?" Bulma said, choking back laughter. "Dende asked if I wanted to have sex but we didn't have any here so I came here to get some. Are you out of it or something? Darn, I wanted to try the strawberry kind." "Strawberry kind of what?" "Sex!!!! You know! Those flavored waters you told me about." Kahoma said. "Oh. That. We have that here but that's not sex. It's just flavored water." "Oh. Oh well. That's okay." Bulma gave Kahoma a bottle of flavored water and sent her on her way.
"Dende! They don't have sex at Bulma's. Turns out sex isn't flavored water after all." Kahoma set the bottled water on the table. "Uh....." Dende said. "You want me to go ask Videl? I'll go ask her." Kahoma left the house.
"Hey Videl." Kahoma said when Videl answered the door. "Oh, hey! Come in." Videl said, holding Pan. "Did you need something?" Videl asked, setting Pan in her high-chair and fixing up a bottle. "Yeah. Bulma doesn't have sex at her house. Do you have any?" "Wh-Wh-What? N-n-n-no." Videl said. "Oh. Is everything okay?" Kahoma asked Videl. "Yeah. I'm fine. What were you looking for?" Videl blushed and busied herself with the bottle. "Well, Dende asked if I wanted to have sex so I went to Bulma's house to get some. Turns out sex isn't flavored water, so I thought you might know what it is and have some." "I know what it is but we don't have any." Videl said. "What is it then?" "Oh look at the time, sorry no more time for chit chat bye!" Videl said, rushing Kahoma out the door and slamming the door. "Hmmm." Kahoma said. "Oh well. Guess I'll have to tell Dende no one has sex around here." Kahoma went back. "Sorry Dende. No one has sex. Oh well. Sorry. Well. I'm going to bed. Good night!" Kahoma went into her bedroom and shut the door. "Uh...." Dende said, lying on the couch, covering himself with a pillow.
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"You guys. We've got a problem." Bulma said, going into the backyard. "I know woman! Kakarot lit my hair on fire!" Vegeta said, almost whining. "I said I was sorry!" Goku apologized. "Never mind that." Bulma hurriedly said. "Never mind? Woman, my hair could have been ruined! The giant forehead and big widow's peak ruined!" "Shut up Vegeta or no 'fun' for you tonight." Bulma warned. Vegeta shut up. "Dende asked Kahoma to have sex with him." "YAYYYY!!!!! Good for him!" Goku said. "No Goku. She thinks sex is flavored water. Now what do we do? Dende can't go around asking Kahoma if she wants to have sex with him." "I know!" Goku instant transmissioned/teleported away and came back. "GOKU!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Bulma screamed. "BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" Master Roshi said, tropical shirt clad, with khaki shorts and red sandals. His sunglasses were perched on his nose. He had several suitcases at his sides. "The Sex Professor is in the house!!!!!!!!!! BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!" Master Roshi laughed.
Note: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! IT'S MASTER ROSHI!!!!!!! Kudos to my friend Nicole (sex ed teacher) for her tampon idea. Hmmmm. Too much DBZ tapes for me. Review!!!!!!