Dear Diary, From Marie
Dear Diary,
I've been back at the mansion for three days now. It feels weird to be around
so many people again, I feel myself shying away from them. Its funny how went I
look back on everything that happened to me over that week, that nothing seems
real. Marco seems like a dream that disappears when you wake up in the morning.
Despite his death, I feel that I needed to go on that trip and I'm glad that
I'm back home.
When I left, I went to find where my place was in the world. I may have run to get away from the fighting and the blood, but I left behind something that I couldn't take with me. My friends. But by separating myself from my friends, the people I see as family, I realize how much I need them and how much I depend on them.
I
don't just rely on them for food, shelter and to keep me safe from Magneto, I
need them as people to interact with, to care about and be loved by, because
without them I've have no one.
Logan has encouraged me to come back and fight for the X-men.
Through the fitness tests and endless combat training sessions, I finally see
what the X-men fight for. Before I left, I was just stumbling along, staring at
my feet, unaware of the world around me. I realize now that I belong to a group
who fought for my freedom and will continue to fight for other mutants and
protect humans who hate and fear us. I am lucky enough to have them to help me
along, to support me. I was afraid of losing my humanity, afraid of being
engulfed by the blood that is spilled for my freedom. We're not just fighting
for our own personal freedom. We are fighting so that in the future for mutants,
we as a people will not have to face a prison of discrimination, marked as
criminals of our DNA.
Looking back, I realize that leaving here was stupid. I ran away to find a
'normal' life, one with normal friends and a normal family. But the thing is, I'm not normal. I will never have that life. Normal people
can touch, hug and even kiss each other without fear, without pain.
I'm
a teenage girl that, with one touch can suck away your very soul and keep it
inside my head, for my mind to replay your memories and feelings. I will never
be able to feel human contact without causing pain to others. And I have
accepted this.
For the rest of my life, I will be completely untouchable.
Signed
Marie.