TUCK EVERLASTING
Spring of Choice
*The same disclaimers apply- I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter for some reason. It's difficult to make Winnie angry enough at her parents that she would want to leave, but not crossing the line where you would think that her parents were necessarily bad people … especially because even though they are just about as protective and sheltering a family as you could ask for, it's very obvious how much they love and cherish her. I tried my best to express this relationship. Please r+r, and tell me what you think.
Chapter 4-Parental DistressThe day directly following Winnie's adventures into the woods with Jesse was one of the most tiring she had ever experienced. She was not accustomed to staying up all night long. And so found herself victim to the most acute case of daydreaming she'd ever experienced. She could feel the excitement of freedom pumping adrenaline through her veins. And her mind worked all sorts of fantastical stories of Jesse the swashbuckling pirate out on the seven seas, with her at his side they would find buried treasure. Or they would discover new continents… new civilizations!
"Atlantis maybe…"
Or maybe it was just that she had not gotten a single wink of sleep that night and 'wired' was the closest word Winnie could come to describing the experience of an even more overworked imagination than what was normal for her.
"I feel as though I've drunk entirely too much black tea…" she mused.
But right now, at that moment she lay on her back in the front yard, her arm propped her head like a pillow, and gazed up at the blue sky. Fluffy white clouds drifted past and she lost herself imagining them into all sorts of creatures: dragons, butterflies, frogs, whales, crocodiles, and occasionally a cloud would pass by that had the shape of Jesse's nose, or the curve of his chin or his silhouette.
"Jesse…" She murmured dreamily. They would live together through eternity. Eternity was not such a scary thought if you could share it with the one you loved. And she knew without a doubt, that Jesse Tuck was the only man whom she could ever imagine being truly happy with. If she could run away from this place, with its iron fence…this spotless, rigid, orderly life would be behind her!
"Winifred! Come inside you'll get sunburned!"
"Three years and she still hasn't given up…" Winnie grudgingly complied but sat up too quickly, causing a wave of sudden dizziness. "Ugh… now I really think I may be sick…"
She trudged inside. Her parents sat watching her in the parlor with identical expressions of the utmost concern on their faces.
"Sit dear." Her mother said, gesturing to a chair across from her. Winnie sat, arranging her ruffled skirts and folded her hands neatly in her lap.
Her father leaned closer, peering into her face with a look that made Winnie feel like she must have a piece of food stuck to her cheek, or perhaps a nasty wart decided to suddenly sprout on top of her nose. She resisted the urge to cross her eyes and see if she could see it.
"Are you feeling better, Winnie?" Her father asked cautiously.
Winnie nodded. "Much better."
"You look very pale and tired today." Her mother said. "Did you sleep well?"
" Not very much I'm afraid." It was the truth after all… Winnie had not slept at all!
" Perhaps you should go and take a rest." Her mother said. "And we can talk a little later about last night."
"No, that won't be necessary." Winnie straightened up as best she could and willing herself to focus on the situation at hand, connected stern eyes with her mother. " Please, tell me what you wish to talk about."
" Your father told me what you said…last night…" She began, "My darling Winifred, it does not please me in any measure to cause you pain. I am sorry for pressuring you, and as your father suggested, we will give you time."
Winnie was amazed by this formal admonition of defeat on part of her mother. This had never happened before and she realized that her mother must really and truly be quite concerned. It was not exactly the kind of freedom that she asked for, but it was the closest thing her mother could come to understanding. It occurred to Winnie that her mother was probably concerned she would try and run away again if pushed too far, like last time. A feeling of guilt enveloped her. Even with her mother opening herself up like this it would not make a difference. Winnie would still run away.
"Thank you, Mother. I…I am relieved at hearing it." She managed to smile. Her mother returned it. It was a rare treat for Winnie to see her mother smile and she felt an ache in her heart.
"Well, that is really all I had to say. For now I suggest you go upstairs and get some rest." Mrs. Foster's tone was not that of a suggestion, but Winnie did not argue and slowly stood and began to walk from the room. Her mind was working vigorously, fighting back and forth. Should she try and talk to them now about Jesse? How would she mention leaving without mentioning him? How could she even mention leaving for that matter? What would they say? What would they do? She decided, while both parents were feeling sentimental that it was now or never. She spun around as she reached the doorway to the foyer.
"Mother? Father? What if I was to tell you, that I wanted to go on a trip to see the world?"
Her parents looked momentarily stunned with the suggestion. Her father was the first to recover. "Why?"
" Because…
I want to see the world!" She said quickly.
"By myself!"
"By yourself?" It was her
mother who echoed her statement with high voiced exasperation. "Winifred the
world outside is a wild and dangerous place! It is no place for a young lady! I
strongly suggest you put the though out of your mind immediately."
" But… I want to do something for myself!" she had often thought on this topic and it was an easy rant for her to make. " I want to be someone important! Discover something no one else has! Haven't you ever though about it, mother?"
"No I have not!" Her mother was quite taken aback. "And as I said before, such endeavors are not for ladies of high society."
"High Society?" Winnie echoed scornfully. " High Society? In that case I wish I was poor and uneducated!"
"Winnie!" Her mother stood up, her eyes sharp as thunderbolts.
"At least then I would be free!"
"Winifred, you have no right to speak to your mother in such a way." Her father stood as well, his voice was low and had an undertone of danger. "We have given you everything, comfort and support and you are acting like an ungrateful child. Your mother and I think about nothing else than what is best for you. Stop this foolish talk at once!"
Winnie's courage faltered and she took a step back, Her father rarely lost his temper, but when he did, it was a terrifying thing to see. Winnie understood what he was saying, in a way he was certainly correct, but her defiance burned away to fear at the look he gave her. It was pure stubbornness that kept her from breaking into tears right then and there. She clenched her teeth tightly to keep a sob from escaping. Her eyes filled with tears, but she would not blink for fear that one might escape and slide down her cheek, exposing her vulnerability. They would never understand her. How in the world could she get them to let her go?
"I'm… sorry…" she managed a whisper, and without another word, Winnie turned and ran up to her bedroom.
***
She thought, and thought, and thought. Every possible excuse she could come up with was not good enough though. She did not bring the subject up again with her parents, and a day later, they acted as if she had never even mentioned it. Days turned into weeks. And before Winnie could have realized it, the time had almost come. There were only four more days left until she would leave to meet Jesse. The weather began to warm up. She was seeing new life sprout out of the ground as winter fell away for spring, the tree's grew new leaves, bees danced among the wildflowers, and the chirping of baby birds newly hatched woke her up each morning. It was a time like this that she remembered Tuck's words out on the lake so long ago.
"You can't have life without death…it's like a great wheel, constantly changing."
How many springs would she see bloom in her lifetime? Winnie had never really thought about it before. If she drank the water, she would see the world move along without her. Spring to summer to fall to winter, on and on forever and ever. Was it what she really wanted?
She thought of Jesse, he had taken eternal life with a grain of salt, and was determined to enjoy it to his advantage. She smiled at the thought. He would have such amazing adventures, and someday see the future beyond what she could even imagine! And yet he was not complete, not without someone to share it with. She blushed at the thought. Jesse made her feel like the most important person in the world. Yes, she wanted to share it with him.
"I'll be with him and see the world!" She was firm in her resolve. "Mother and father… they will have to understand someday. I will write them a letter and leave it on the night I go."
She found new hope with this idea, and sat down immediately to compose a letter. But now she was faced with a new problem, what on earth would she say?
"Dear mother and father,
I've gone to see the world, so do not try to look for me. I will write you frequently to tell you how I am doing. I love you both.
Winnie."
She read it over and instantly crumpled it up. "That is no good! Not enough emotion!" She took a clean piece of paper and tried again.
"Dearest mother and father,
Please find it in your heart to forgive me, for I have left to see the world. I will most likely not be returning, but I will write you frequently to tell you how I am doing. I am not alone, I'm going with Jesse so do not worry over my safety. I assure you he is quite resourceful…"
She stopped there, staring at the letter for a long time. "Maybe I shouldn't mention Jesse." Then crumpled it up and threw it into the corner in frustration after the first one. "Ugh! How do I do this?"
"Dearest Mother and Father,
Please find it in your heart to forgive me, for I have left to marry someone I have sworn not to name, and we will see the world together. Do not worry over my safety…"
"This one sounds like a bad romance novel!" Crumpling it up, she threw it in the pile with the other two notes and then left her room in frustration.
"Where are you going Winifred?" Her mother asked as Winnie had paused by the doorway to tie her hat onto her head.
"For a walk in the woods." She said.
Her mother pursed her lips in disapproval, but did not say anything. Winnie was glad for it. "Don't worry mother, I will return before lunchtime." And she left, shutting the door firmly behind her.
***
The walk had calmed her mood and rejuvenated her spirits, and when she had finally returned home, humming Mae Tuck's music-box melody softly under her breath, she thought that she would go straight up to her room and try composing another letter to her parents.
However when she stepped in the door, she was met with an unexpected surprise. Her mother sat on the loveseat, fanning herself in distress and her father was pacing the length of the parlor in agitation.
As she shut the door behind her both parents looked up and her father sternly pointed to the we-have-to-have-a-serious-talk chair, as she had come to call it. Confused, Winnie hung up her hat and then went to sit and face them, wondering what on earth it could be this time.
Her father cut straight to the chase, he held up three crumpled notes in one clenched hand, shaking with suppressed fury. "Winifred Foster, what on earth do you think you're doing by writing these? And who in the name of God is Jesse?!"