***A bit of Willow and Tara***

CHAPTER 25

Sneaking her way from the kitchen to the stairs undetected was easier than Tara thought. Though her footfalls were a perfect match to her quiet personality, she figured that wouldn't be enough to get past two slayers. As it was, said slayers were occupied in what was no doubt a poignant and emotional conversation. Taking one last look at the two women in the living room, Tara hemmed up her long skirt and made her way up the steps.

Tara's first stop was the bathroom where she wanted to wash away at least a portion of the blood now congealed in her hair. She slowly stripped her shirt off, mindful of her injured shoulder. Due to Faith's help, the pain was more than tolerable. Still, Tara wasn't familiar with dealing with the pain as her only real injury was a majorly broken hand at the mercy of Glory. However, due to insufficient lucidity, the pain was not quite as memorable as it should have been.

She took ten minutes, using the shower to wash herself. She made herself presentable, though nothing short of a long, hot shower would clean her off completely, something she definitely did not have the energy for. Taking the last towel on the rack, Tara dried herself off before wrapping the towel around her chest and making a beeline for Willow's room.

When she got there, the lights were off, though a small candle-like lamp held vigil on the dresser, its light casting an eerie glow across the room. Willow lay in the middle of the bed, her good arm draped across her eyes, mouth twisted in a slight frown. Tara smiled lightly at her ex-lover's childlike lip curl. She quietly walked over to her and sat down at the foot of the bed. The slight disruption of the mattress was enough to wake the redhead from her doze. Her tired scowl was replaced with an equally tired smile at the sight of her blond ex-lover.

"Hey," she croaked, already in the preliminary stages of frog-throat.

"Hey yourself," Tara smiled, her left hand affectionately brushing against Willow's foot. "So, did you get in touch with Xander? Is he okay?" Willow nodded.

"Yep. He's fine. He said he and Anya had taken out all the books they could find on anything having to do with relationships between vampires and slayers and prophecies concerning a slayer's child or any reference to a Harbinger." Willow stopped and her eyes closed again. "There was something else too, but I can't seem to focus. The pain-train from earlier must have fried some much needed brain cells," she moaned softly in order to re-enforce her point.

"Oh sweetie, you need to get some rest," Tara cooed, getting up in order to sit next to Willow. Making sure to lean on her left side, Tara's right hand brushed lightly against Willow's thin bangs. The tender gesture elicited a smile from the redhead, giving her a quick boost.

"Yeah, I know. If it wasn't for my continually interrupted conversation with Xander, maybe I would have been able to get in a few minutes before you came up." Willow sighed deeply before continuing. "I mean, all she was talking about on the phone is 'Xander, I can't believe your nose is broken', 'Xander is it gonna be healed by the wedding?', 'Xander, your nose is going to ruin the pictures' over and over again," she snorted. She sat up automatically, signs of an annoyed redhead.

"I mean, she didn't even ask if he was okay," she protested. "If she were any more shallow, it'd be like wading in a creek sans the water." She leaned back against the headboard.

Tara couldn't help but smile at Willow's outburst. Both of them knew she was being babyish and unfair, but sometimes Anya got the best of her. Ever since the Troll fiasco last year, Willow and Anya had reached an uneasy alliance, though the ex-demon's proclivity towards the tactless was still enough to irk the redhead. Last year Tara had thought Willow still harbored feelings for Xander and was a tad insecure about it all. Never being the most confident person in the world, Tara wrongly assumed that if given the chance, Willow would pick Xander over her as if Willow's commitment to her hadn't been clearly stated in the redhead choosing her over Oz.

"Whatcha thinkin' bout?" Willow asked interrupting Tara's thoughts. The blond just smiled at her, warming Willow to the core. It was always like that. One flash of her shimmering smile was always enough to make Willow believe that she was the only person in the world. Instinctively, Willow laid her hand on top of Tara's that was now resting comfortably on the redhead's stomach.

"Nothing," Tara replied. Immediately, Willow deployed her trademark resolve face and the good witch conceded. "Okay, so maybe something," she said, her eyes wandering to their now intertwined fingers. "Okay, definitely something…you," she finished, purposefully locking eyes with Willow.

The heat of Tara's gaze ushered a pink flush across Willow's skin and her eyes fluttered slightly, going along nicely with the quickening of her heart. Flustered herself, Tara's eyes fell to the bed.

"Willow," she began and pulled her hand away from Willow. She settled her hands in her lap and studied them intently as Willow's face fell at Tara's action. Tara tucked a loose bang behind her ear before looking up to Willow again.

"I know things haven't been too good between us lately. I mean…I-I don't know. I mean, all the stuff that happened, Will, it's tough."

The redhead's face fell even further and her eyes welled with tears. "I know, Tara. I know I messed up big time," she laughed humorlessly, "I mean, I should have my own training video. Willow Rosenberg's twelve-step program: 'In one hour, or a simple incantation for the magically inclined, you can be expert at screwing up your life and those of the ones closest to you'. I could even have a book printed about how to rip your best friend out of heaven and still make yourself look like the victim…" she trailed off as a warm hand caressed her cheek where a stray tear slid down.

"Willow," Tara said sternly but not without compassion, "stop beating yourself up. Yes, you made some mistakes. Some big ones," She lifted Willow's chin up before the redhead had a chance to lower it, "and you know what? You're gonna make other mistakes too."

"Yeah, maybe next time instead of erasing everyone's memory I can just go directly to making it like we were never born," she added dryly.

"The point," Tara continued, ignoring Willow's self-torture, "is that you learn from them. Even bad mistakes, ones that you can't take back, have a purpose. If you learn from what you did, then everything won't seem as hopeless." She studied Willow intently and the slight girl returned her gaze, albeit unsteadily. "Have you learned from your mistakes?"

Willow stared at Tara and silence descended upon the room for several minutes. Finally, Willow replied in an emotionally charged voice. "Yes, Tara. Oh God, yes." And then she broke down.

Tara watched uncomfortably as her former lover cried into the pillow. Her small body shook the bed and Tara was heartbroken to see her fire in so much pain. Crawling onto the bed fully, she pulled the distraught young woman from the pillow, placing Willow's head in her lap.

Though at first she fought it, Willow finally acquiesced and let Tara hold her. This had been the first time she had cried; really cried since the night she almost killed Dawn. She didn't want to have anyone think that she deserved any type of pity or empathy. They gave enough of it to her when she struggled through the days. Tears would have only added to it all and she knew she didn't deserve it. Oh, she had learned a lot from it all. She had thought the pain of Oz leaving was bad, that it couldn't get any worse. Then there was Buffy's death that, in truth, she really didn't have a chance to mourn since she spent the entire summer researching for ways to resurrect her best friend. The only thing close to this was Tara's insanity brought on by the hands of Glory. Even that wasn't as bad as losing Tara. A part of her cringed at the selfishness of feeling more devastated at Tara leaving her than when the blond was out of her mind. Just another black mark to add to the horror of the last few months. Not only had she lost Tara, but she almost killed Dawn and hurt everyone close to her. Though Buffy was there for her, it had taken several weeks before Dawn had truly forgiven her, yet another grace she felt should have been denied to her. But she remembered what Giles had said about forgiveness. It wasn't given because you deserved it; it was given because you needed it. That in itself had presented another interesting revelation to her. Gaining the forgiveness of others was easy compared to the task of forgiving yourself. And that was something Willow hadn't been able to do.

"Willow," Tara cooed and the redhead looked up, her face streaked with tears. "I know you and I know what you're doing. You still haven't forgiven yourself, have you?"

"How can I, Tara?" she choked out. "I messed with your mind, twice, and that was after I saw what Glory did to you last year. I sucked my best friend out of Heaven and into hell…or the hell-mouth. And then, I almost get her sister killed. How can I expect…"

"I forgive you," Tara interrupted quietly.

"Wh-what did you say?" Willow asked, pushing away in disbelief. Tara smiled slightly.

"I said I forgive you."

The smile that broke out on Willow's face was short-lived as she replaced it with a confused scowl. "B-but why?"

Tara smiled more broadly this time and stroked Willow's hair. "Because, it's the right thing to do. Because you need it. Because," she took Willow's face in her hands and kissed her on the forehead, "I love you."

Willow didn't know what to say. She had never thought Tara would forgive her. She knew the Wicca would, in some way, get over it, but to forgive her? It had only been a fantasy. It had been further promulgated with the time they had spent together that day. It was as if everything was back to normal. Willow cursed herself for not realizing that the stress of the day had caused that. But now, her fantasy had come true. She started to smile but saw the seriousness on Tara's face and broke eye contact, awaiting the inevitable 'but we can never be together' speech.

Tara saw the hopeless expression crawl over Willow's features and wished she could just kiss her and make it all go away. But she couldn't. She had to be strong and say what she felt.

"Will, I want you to understand something. Just because I've forgiven you doesn't mean we're back together," she said, feeling guilty about falling so easily into her lover's…ex-lover's company earlier in the day.

"I know," Willow forced out, her voice small and full of disappointment.

"There are a lot of things we need to work out. Things that only time can heal. Like trust." She saw Willow shrink even deeper into herself, and it was all Tara could do not to pull Willow into her arms and kiss her. "These last few months, with everyday you have controlled your magical urges, another block of the trust has been added. I do trust you Willow. Just not completely…not yet, at least."

The last comment had given Willow a boost and she tentatively looked up at Tara with renewed hope shining in her eyes.

"I-I understand, Tara, I really do. And you'll see…I know I can do it. I know I can show you I can be trusted again. I…" But the blond silenced her with a finger on her lips.

"Slow down, sweetie," she said with a smile. "Just remember, we can't rush this, okay?" Willow nodded.

"Things won't ever be the same," Willow said and it was Tara's turn to look befuddled. Then the redhead smiled and added, "they will be better." They both smiled and embraced each other with a tentative hug.

"So are you going to stay here tonight?" Willow asked hopefully. "I mean, considering that we have to be up and at 'em tomorrow, all research-y and stuff." Tara glanced up at the ceiling, the wavy light of the lamp casting half-hearted shadows above the bed. Even though she didn't want to lead Willow on too far, she didn't want to lie to herself. She had told Willow that it would take time but what she didn't say was that said time was a lot closer than she'd tell Willow. She couldn't say that aloud for fear of disappointment. She couldn't go through that heartbreak again. So she would just remain quiet about that and…

"Yeah, I'll stay," she conceded. Truth be told, she was nervous about going outside alone. And then driving back to campus in Sunnydale? No thanks. And what with two slayers in the house and all…Nope, staying didn't have anything to do with Willow. Well, maybe just a little…

"You can borrow some of my pjs if you want," Willow offered. She was pleased that it elicited a gentle smile from the blond Wicca.

"Yeah, thanks," she said and they both got off the bed to get dressed only to return to the comfortable mattress. The got under the covers, mindful to keep at least a little distance between them, lest temptation rear its ugly (decidedly luscious and seductive and pleasureful) head.

"Tara?" Willow called a few minutes later, her voice drowsy from sleep.

"Mmm?" Tara replied.

"Thank you," she said simply as she allowed the last vestiges of resistance to peel away as sleep claimed her.

Before she succumbed to exhaustion, Tara's mouth curved into a warm smile. She didn't have to ask what Willow meant. She already knew. It was the gratitude of being forgiven. Of being loved. Of being given a second chance. She knew they still had a lot to work through, but if this day had been any indication of what was to come for them, the proverbial 'greener pastures' were just around the corner.

***This was supposed to be a quick snippet of Willow checking on Xander but it got out of hand, but not too much. I wanted to address some of the issues surrounding the W-T connection.

***Okay, next chapter will have Seth back as well as Jennifer giving him some particulars on her plan.

***Also, I'm gonna do a short song fic that's I can't get out of my head. It's gonna be called Do What You Have to Do. It should be up this weekend, along with the next chapter of Family Ties.

***Old and New reviewers alike are welcomed. Thanks to my daily supporters Trisha, Annastasia and Stumbeline.