Egypt Talk Show
Episode Nine
Disclaimer: To repeat or not to repeat, that is the question. New lawyers come in holding bazookas aimed at my head: Repeat!! Me:Shit!! New lawyers!! How awful!! I don't own the movies or this Maury rip off Alex wanted me to do. Is that good? N. Lawyers: Yes now get on with and know that we are watching!! Me: Damn, you guy came prepared, I applaud you now on with the show.
Mai: Okay, now I got the reviews back on!! YAY!! But still I await the bids for Imhotep and the clones of Ardeth Bay. So now a few words from Alex.
Alex: I get Ardeth and Gigolo Joe (am I the bitch or WHAT?!) I'd like to thank the author. I'd also like to thank God for putting Jude Law and Oded Fehr on this planet. I had a sex crazed android telling the Beatles to sing "I wanna be your man." to me. YES!
Mai: G. Joe is his nick name because I'm too lazy to write Gigolo followed by Joe. Just too damn tiring!! Alex's last review was the longest one yet, it practically took up the entire fucking page!! Um okay maybe not but it was still fucking long. Thanks Alex!! Mind if I call you Ali instead? It's shorter, I like shorter names. So today we are doing a Maury rip off. The subject off today's epy is "I have a problem in resisting the shiny gold bracelet. I just have to try it on not considering the risk that it might bring around the Apocalypse and have only Seven days left to live if I don't get into a pyramid by the time the sun strikes on the seventh day or else it'll suck the life out of me. I just have to try it on, because I take after too much of my greedy bastard of an uncle who is usually named Jonathan." Okay that was way long. The brat who did such a thing was the Brat. Your story, I mean pathetic excuse?
Brat: I was drawn to it. It was obviously my destiny.
Mai: Yes, it is your destiny to die, how fun!! Evelyn, what do you have to say about it?
Evelyn: He was just following his destiny. I'm proud of him for being able to stand up to that torture.
Mai: And you Rick?
Rick: ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. OH what? The Brat? Oh and the bracelet? Well, I don't believe in destiny so I think he was just being stupid.
Mia: Well, Brat, you have to learn your lesson so we have brought you some army guy, I forgot his name, I haven't watched Maury for like five months. But he is cool and he is black which doubles on his coolness too. He oughta be marine!! So bring him on out.
Army guy(Army G.): You little kid, I'm going to teach you not to be so stupid! You shouldn't try on golden Egyptian bracelets that are thousands of years old!! That is just stupid!! *rants on. I can't think of anything cool for him to say*
Brat: I think I've already learned my lesson thanks for the offer but no.
Army G.: *grabs him by the collar and drags him off* You're coming with me you stupid idiot!!
*they leave*
Mai: Now, Alex gave us issue topics for five Episodes so the next one will be tomorrow, if you reviewers want to hear how Alex is just review in and tell me what you want to see, note, Lock-nah may turn up there, if you want stuff may happen. Now, we go on to topics from other reviewers and then questions from Alex, only one, though Questions will be saved for later in case of no reviews. So These topics are from Zlodeja. First one:
Where did she put her glow in the dark nail polish?
G. Joe: Isn't that a question?
Mai: Yes and so was that so let's see if she gave us any topics. *looks at cards* No, no topics from her but Lilena gave us a topic. It is "Why is that Yallah, a word used in TM by Ardeth to tell his men to leave, actully means get out now. That's not very polite."
G. Joe: Because they don't have a word for polite so they don't know what polite is. They just command people.
Mai: *slaps him.* That's not very nice either G. Joe! They just don't put things like we Americans do. He probably didn't mean it to be mean. Didya Ardeth?
Ardeth: *jamming to my cd that I burned off KazaA. Meaning he's banging his head in a yes motion*
Mai: There you have it!! He nodded!! Now, to the questions!! Now theses questions are from Zlodeja. You know the first one, answer people!!
Rick: I dunno.
Evy: OH, maybe she accidentally dropped it in the dresser drawer by accident.
Ardeth: *not listening*
Lock-nah: What if she doesn't have any? What if it's a trick question?
Mia: True, it could be a trick question, but if it's not then answer dumbass!
Lock-nah: In the garden.
Anck: May-* Shuts-up because G. Joe and I glare at her.*
Imhotep: *to sad to speak*
Mai: Next question: "Why the brat not dead?"
G. Joe: Just tel us what you want to happen to him in boot camp and it'll be done. Review in and tell us how he should die at boot camp perhaps, everyone!!
Evy: My baby will not die!!
Mia: Read Caitlin'02's story A Father Like You and there may be dead Alex. Next Question: "Why can't I own Ardeth? sniff sniff" Just review in with the price that is in Episode Eight and say you want an Ardeth clone and you'll get one! How good! Next Q: "Why is Evy such a hoe?" That was answered in Episode Eight, well kind of answered. Next Q: "How fast can I type?" Well we wouldn't know that. How fast can you type? I'm curious. Next Q: "How is that 1+1 really can equal 6?" Really it does? I thought 1+1 always equaled 11. I don't know how that works. Does anyone here know?
All: *Sahke heads no*
Mai: Please, if you know please do tell us, I'm curious. Next Q: "What's the best way to pick a lock?" I use to know that but I forgot.
Rick: Have the key!!
Mai: PICK the lock stupid.
Rick: Use a bobby pin!
Mia: Next Q is from Alex: "Who is your inspiration?" Mine is the ever so hot and gorgeous Brendan Fraser.
Rick: Myself, I am one sexy man!!
Evy: My father he was one sexy man!
All: ::squinty eyes:: Uh, that was not needed!!
Mai: I never thought that you would think of your father like that Evy!! I'm disgusted by that!!
Lock-nah: Sinbad.
Imhotep: I'm hot ep! My inspiration was Seth.
Anck: I'm not even gonna try.
G. Joe: Good Girl! You're learning! Have a half of a slim fast diet bar! Fetch! *throws it into a crowd of Imhotep fans that have returned. She dumbly follows and they pounce on her.*
G. Joe: My inspiration was my maker, he was a master gigolo until I came along, but I have retired and settled on Alex now.
Ardeth: *still jamming out to my cd*
Mai: We'll presume that his inspiration is from the previous Med-jai leader or Horus the god or something like that. Well, tomorrow we'll have the next topic "Rick's old flings/ ex-girlfriends/ one-night-stands. And Alex's next question and a bonus question from her too!! Good life may your god(s) bless you and My god bless you all, depends on whose god is real. Tata.
End Credits