Egypt Talk Show
Episode Thirteen
Disclaimer: *Yawns* Okay, I can do this just let me *YAWNS again* sleep awhile. N. Lawyers: You make the fic you put in the Disclaimer!! Now *aims bazookas at my head* Me: FINE! I don't own the movies. Or the songs.
Mai: I'm Back!! With the Black book of the Dead. Now I brought back S. Joe! *Waves to S. Joe. S. Joe waves back* So I also brought back Vassili and Ardeth back in one piece. To start start off the show we have John Mayer singing No Such thing !! *much cheering is heard* You know this really doesn't work if you don't have the song, but I'm sure you have that so I provide the lyrics.
*Music Stage*
"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve
They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above
So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits
Maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can't find the answers
And all of our parents
They're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies
They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above
I am invincible
As long as I'm alive
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above
I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for
*back to talk show stage*
Mai: Okay, now we have today's topic, "Everyone switches with their counter parts." For this I brought back to life, Anck. So here's how it goes:
Imhotep/Ardeth,
Lock-Nah/Brat,
*GULPS* Anck/Evy,
Rick/G, Joe. (That should be interesting)
So Here *points to big machine with many buttons just calling out "Push Me!"* we have the brain switching machine. Everyone get in. *Everyone gets in* And NOW!! Press the lev- WAIT!! Where's G. Joe? And the brat?
Rick: I think he's with Alex right there making out in the front row.
Mai: *walks over and grabs G. Joe and drags him to the brain switching machine* Sorry to intrude with this but YOU get to switch with Rick! How fun!! Wait, how bad! My Rick, our *points to Evy and Mai* Rick making out with Alex!!
Evy: Being in that bitch's body is bad enough!!
Mai: *throws G. Joe in the machine closes doors & Makes brat appear dressed in army clothes* NOW Pull the lever!! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!! Evil! SO EVIL!! *Shot of me in evil scientist lab suit with black background and Lighting crashes in back ground in black and white.*
*Machine starts to spark and smoke is seen as it spins really fast that I'm get dizzy. Few moments later it stops. Everyone comes out all switched and everything. G. Joe (Is actually G. Joe in Rick's bod) goes straight for Alex and they start making out. Ardeth (in Imhotep's body) is feeling his bald head then sees Imhotep (in Ardeth's Body) with a razor and starts fighting him to give up the razor. Rick (Rick in G. Joe's body now referred to as A. Rick [Android Rick]) is looking in the mirror at his cool clothes. Evy (in Anck's body) is looking in the mirror giving herself a make over while Anck (in Evy's body) is doing the same. Lock-nah is looking in the mirror trying to make him self look sexy in the army clothes in the Brats puny little body. Alex is loving how tall he is and tries handling the swords but almost cuts off the bodies hands.*
Mai: This should be interesting. How do you all feel?
Evy: I feel bitchy, it must be the body, I guess that's why Anck is such a bitch.
A. Rick: I look good.
Anck: I feel, smart and I have this urge to go have sex with Rick's body.
Lock-nah: You know if I put this cap at the right angel it'll look good on the brat's body.
G. Joe: Just fine, but the body urges for Evy's body, no wonder they do it all the time. But I can resist it.
Alex: Good, you better.
Ardeth: *is still trying to prevent Imhotep from shaving off his bodies hair.* I feel bald, and cold.
Mai: That's because you're only dressed in a loincloth.
Ardeth: *Blushes*
Imhotep: Is it hot in here is it just me? And I have something on my head, it's long and black. What is it?
Ardeth: It's called hair baldy!! Something your body lacks!! *Looks down* Even down in the privates! No chest hair even!!
Imhotep: When I say I'm bald, I mean it!!
Mai: I think I'll need some marijuana for this episode. *Goes get Marijuana from stash she hid. Few moments, comes back with a few chests of Marijuana* This should handle it. If I need more I'll go to you Harry.
A. Rick: Damn, that's a lot. Can I have some?
Mai: No, you'll break. So anyone else want some.
Evy: *comes over and takes a few* I'll need it. Please excuse if I'm bitchy. It's the body.
Anck: *comes over* I think I'll- *chair is thrown at her. She falls down unconscious*
Evy: *lights a joint* Sure, they get a direct hit while she's in MY body!! *takes and lung full of smoke and exhales exasperatingly* THANKS A LOT!!
Mai: I guess no one wants Anck to talk. Oh, well, either way she's a bitch. Now, *takes a puff of the joint* we'll go to some questions. How does it feel to be in your counterpart's body?
All except G. Joe: Horrible!
G. Joe: I think it's kind of bad because now, I need to use condoms.
Mai: Okay, I think I'll have a few more joints, at one time. *Puts twenty joinst in her mouth and lights them all.*
Evy: It's a fire!
S. Joe: Fire?!?! *comes running up with a fire extinguisher and uses it on the joints fire*
Mai: *face is cover in the stuff that comes out of the fire extinguisher.* Thanks S. Joe!! You totally ruined my joints!! That is just great!
Ardeth: It is?
Mai: NO!! now, I'm stressed, People get back in your regular bodies in the machine!! *grabs G. Joe who is half naked and throws him in the machines. Starts it then it stops. Everyone comes out, back to normal* Everyone normal?
All: Yes.
Mai: Good, now some questions from Alex. "Who's gonna win the world series?"
All: *shrugs.*
Mai: next Q: Who's the greatest hockey player ever?
All: Tie between Wayne Gretsky and Jari Kuri.
Mai: Another Q: If you could be any animal, what would you be? Why?
G. Joe: I'd be a horny little monkey because they're the closest relative to humans.
Rick: I'd be a big bear because they're strong and cool.
Evy: I'd be the big bear's mate. *Rick And Evy start nuzzling*
Mai: I'd be wolf because wolves are cool. But now I'm gonna have another joint. *Lights joint.*
Brat: I'd be- *is sent back to boot camp. (come on people if you want the brat to die, give me ideas!)*
Lock- nah: I'd be a praying mantis because they got those arms that look like scythes!
Anck: I'd *chair is thrown at her and she is hit, but not unconscious.*
Imhotep: I'd be a snake, because they don't have any hair.
Ardeth: I'd be camel, and some camels! Do you have any more Mai?
Mai: *nods and tosses him some Camels* After this I'm gonna start charging you. Now, next Q is: Backstreet Boys: Yesterday's trash or lasting fruity Pop dorks? Yesterday's trash to me.
All: Ditto.
Mai: Tomorrow's topic is: "My teen is out of control! (this may not apply to.... well, anyone)" Well we'll do it anyway Alex. So that's all I want to do now. See ya!! And please review and send in your bids!! Right now we have two Ardeth colnes on the way and no one has sent in any bids for Imhotep or Lock-nah. Prices are in Episode Twelve.
End Credtis