Benji, who had seen the hug shared between Amity and Paul outside, was now in a bit of a huff.
Part of it was due to the fact that he was dateless for tonight's party, and part of it was due to the troubled sleep he had experienced last night, where he had been tossing and turning with a sick feeling in his gut. Mostly though, his ill temper was due to the feelings of rage and rejection that he had suppressed for so long but which seemed to resurface whenever he saw Paul and Amity together. So, later that afternoon when Amity had come to him with more conversations of her relationship with Paul, he had felt the need to shut her up quickly and move her on.
He hadn't let her get any further than "Hey Benji, can I talk to you for a sec? It's about me and Paul…" When he had tried to brush her off with…
"Amity, look, I don't want to hear it. Upstairs we're all working like dogs just so we can take time off for tonight" To which she had said…
"But Benji, this is really important and after our talk last night I came to a stunning revelation that I really want to share with you…and…" After that he had opted for his crushing speech that had gone a little like this…
" Amity I really don't have the time or the interest to discuss you and Paul's anaemic relationship and my advice to you is to use your own brain for a change, no matter how blonde it may be, and try for once to sort things out yourself!"
Reflecting on that conversation now, Benji realised his dreaded mistake. Just picturing the way Amity's face had fallen after his first dose, to the pained and heartbroken way she had began to cry once he was done, made his own heart feel like it had been put in a vice. What an asshole he was! He vowed that if she let him near her tonight then he would make things right between them again and restore their relationship to what it had been before. But even that thought bothered Benji. What had their relationship been before? Had they truly been 'just friends'? Benji was sure there had been moments when he had been with Amity and he had felt as though the both of them were standing near the edge of a precipice, one step away from crossing the boundaries of friendship and venturing out into the wonderful realm of…what was he thinking? Amity probably hated him now. No, whatever they had before, or whatever they could have had before was lost. If, with all his apologies, he even afforded himself conversation with her it would be a miracle, and one that he certainly didn't deserve.
It was now 9 o'clock. A whole 5 hours had passed since his argument with Amity and Benji was now well into his 3rd round of drinks with Dusty at the bar. Joel and Morgan had arrived with them and Benji hadn't seen either of them for nearly an hour now. He didn't care though. Billy and Amy were laughing and dancing and having a good time. Benji didn't care much about that either though. He felt awful and the drinks, though he kept them coming, weren't helping.
The club they were at began to play the song 'Drowning' By Crazytown. He knew the song and had met the band a couple of times, but to be honest, he'd never really listened to the lyrics of this particular song. Now, they seemed to describe the way he felt pretty damn well.
…I'm thinkin', just another breath, Not a minute left, how long have I been drifting?
…. People say I'm a star but I still think I'll never make it, and I'm thinkin, just another prayer, Not a second left, I feel there's something missing,
… Sometimes I hate that chaos surrounds me, when all the answers that I see fall around me,
…Am I drowning, am I fading away?
Or am I living' up to all your dreams that made me this way,
Am I drowning?…
Thinking about drowning suddenly made Benji remember something someone had said to him recently.
"Lying on the downstairs couch made me feel like I was sinking. I'm sure I was having dreams about being out at sea,"
'Who had said that?' Benji didn't have to think for long. Ever since his verbal assault on her, her name had never strayed from his thoughts.
'Amity'Benji looked up longingly to the front door of the club and was dumbfounded by what he saw. Or rather, whom he saw.
As though his thinking about her had caused her to materialise out of thin air, there stood Amity. Looking positively gorgeous in a classy black dress and heals. Her honey blonde hair shone like spun gold and, as Benji noticed, had been loosely curled for the occasion. She truly was a vision. A princess from another world, and yet, she looked so sad. Guilt overcame Benji as he realised that he was probably at the source of her displeasure. He was two seconds away from getting up to go over to her when in walked Paul and took her arm.
'He's going to bring her over here' Benji realised, turning around to see Dusty had taken a break from the cute waitress he had been chatting up, to wave Paul over to join them.
'He's going to take me over there!' Amity thought, her palms sweating at the sight of Benji.
"Uh, Paul" She spoke nervously but she couldn't help it.
"Yeah" he stopped.
"I wanted to go and find Amy first ok, I have something to tell her, but I'll be with you soon ok?" He looked a little disappointed and for a second Amity feared that coming as his date tonight was a bad idea.
"That's cool, I'll see you when I see you then" He said, and made his way over to Benji and Dusty.
Benji saw as Amity left Paul and hurried off in the opposite direction.
'Well that's that then." He thought as he watched her leave.
'She hates me'
Feeling the direst of needs to be as far away from Benji as was possible, Amity had lied to Paul. She really had no intention whatsoever of finding Amy and instead was making her way over to the bathrooms to cry.
"Like I told you! I was busy" Amity heard a raised female voice say as she approached the back of the club.
"Oh Bullshit Morgan! Why won't you just tell me the truth for once!" Amity recognised the voice instantly as Joel's. What was all this about?
"I'm trying but you won't listen! You keep insisting on making this hard for me don't you Joel! You should really hear yourself! You sound ridiculous!"
"Hey we're not done here!" She heard Joel say.
"Don't be so sure about that" Morgan came back. Her voice was icy.
"I know you weren't at dancing. Morgan I called Kim, she said she hasn't seen you all week!"
"Oh so now you're keeping tabs on me! I can't believe you!"
"Well what was I supposed to do? Three times you've blown this off already. Last night just made it number four" Joel sounded really hurt now.
"I said I was sorry, alright?" Morgan pleaded.
"Well I'm sorry too Morgan. Because I don't think I can do this with you anymore"
"You're breaking up with me?" Amity had never heard Morgan sound so weak.
"No. I just think we need time apart. You need time to re-evaluate your priorities and I need time to…" Joel's voice had calmed down now and Amity had to strain to hear what he was saying.
"Remember what it is that I love about you" Had that been it? Amity wasn't too sure.
No time to give it anymore thought though, Joel rounded the corner and nearly walked right into her. He registered who she was but said nothing.
Amity walked over to where Morgan stood like a frozen statue and placed a hand on her shoulder.
To her surprise Morgan didn't tell her to F'off. In fact, she began to cry. Amity brought Morgan in for a hug and then led her into the bathroom to clean up her running mascara.
"I bet you're enjoying this" Morgan mumbled through tears.
"No, Morgan…" Amity grabbed another tissue and handed it to Morgan.
"In fact, I was on my way over here to do the very same thing" She admitted.
"You?" Morgan sounded shocked.
"Don't sound so surprised" Amity said, sounding utterly sad and hopeless but not caring.
"I don't know exactly what's going on with you and Joel but I do know that he loves you very much" Morgan was looking at her as though she never expected those words to ever come out of her mouth.
"If you want a real problem then try being in love with someone who not only doesn't feel the same way but…"Amity's voice cracked as she battled to stay in control.
"Hates you" She finished and shut her eyes and tried to swallow her heartache.
"What a jerk!" Morgan snapped
"Aren't men such total rejects? He had better pray that I never meet him"
Amity couldn't believe her ears. This was Morgan after all. The same Morgan that had turned her snotty little nose up at nearly everything Amity did or said. Only seconds ago Morgan had been the wreck and Amity the strong one. How had things reverse themselves so quickly?
"Actually you do know him" Amity decided to get the whole ugly story out. She'd feel better for it.
"I do not!" Morgan gasped; horrified that such a 'reject' as she put it, could have been hiding in her midst.
"I'm afraid you do" Amity confirmed and began to tell her tale.
When she was done Morgan began to laugh, much to Amity's disgrace.
'Great way to kick me when I'm down Morgan' She thought.
"I'm sorry" Morgan said, waving away air in front of her face and coughing.
"No worry. I guess I never saw the funny side" Amity said, casting her eyes to the floor.
"Oh Am- don't get me wrong. I wasn't laughing at you. It's just…you see I always thought you'd end up with Benji. When I first met you Benji had just come out of a really bad relationship and I…"
"But I'm not with Benji!" Amity cut her off and brought that fact to her attention.
"Yeah but you will be" Morgan was smiling at her now. Amity felt utterly confused.
"Morgan, have you not heard anything that I just said?" She really did have to wonder.
"Yeah yeah, Benji was a little short with you and bla bla bla. Amity, that doesn't mean shit except that he likes you too!"
"What? That makes no sense at all," Amity, thought the suggestion absolutely preposterous.
"Hello, welcome to the world of men honey" Morgan chimed but seeing that Amity was at a complete loss, continued with her theory.
"Ok, bare with me here for a sec ok? Say you're Benji and you like Amity. Now, how is seeing her hanging around with Paul everyday gonna make you feel? And now imagine that Amity comes up to you one day wanting to talk to you about her relationship with Paul. How do you react, being Benji?"
"I guess I…I don't know. I guess I'm a little pissed off that she's with Paul and not me but…" Amity didn't really believe what she was saying. No way in hell would Benji ever be interested in her! The only reason she was even having this conversation was to indulge Morgan.
"See! There you have it in one" Morgan said smugly.
Amity smiled.
"So what about you and Joel?" She asked and instantly wished that she hadn't.
Morgan's face fell.
"It's my fault. He's angry with me because I didn't go to dinner with him and his mother the other night"
Amity, found this a little hard to believe, and so, pressed on.
"That seems a little childish of him. I mean, haven't you guys been going out for nearly a year now? Just because you missed one dinner with his mother…" Amity stopped as she saw in Morgan's face that there was something about all this that she wasn't quite getting.
"Well, technically, it hasn't exactly been just the one dinner" Morgan raised her left hand to her mouth and began to nibble at her nails.
"Morgan…how many has it been?" Amity asked.
Morgan bit her nails till Amity stopped her. Then she turned to the mirror and frowned at her reflection.
"Actually, I've never met his mother" She said casually.
"Never? Not once in the whole year that you've been with Joel?" Amity couldn't believe this.
As it turned out, it was true. Morgan had never met Joel's mother in the entire year that they had been together. And every time Joel suggested it Morgan felt herself go into a panic. She was utterly terrified of the thought of meeting the women.
"But why?" Amity tried to get a grasp on Morgan's perspective.
"She's the only woman that was ever there for Joel for his entire life so far! She raised him, nursed his cuts and bruises. He loves her so much. And here I am…"
"The woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with" Amity chipped in
Morgan shook her head.
"What if she doesn't like me? Her opinion of me will mean the world to Joel"
"And how do you think her opinion of you is faring so far? I mean, between you ditching meets with her and all" Amity knew it was harsh but it had to be said.
"You're right! I know you're right, but Amity, I'm so scared" Morgan's voice began to shake.
"Scared of what? Morgan you're a beautiful, talented and capable girl. Any mother would be over the moon to have you as a daughter in law. You're any mother who has a son's dream"
Morgan laughed nervously and shook her head. She knew Amity was right; it was time to face up to her life and take charge.
"How about we make a pact?" She suggested and turned to Amity.
"A pact?" Amity asked.
"Yeah. You and me, right here, right now" Morgan placed her hand on the bathroom sink counter.
"Ok, what are we pledging to?" Amity laughed and placed her hand on top of Morgan's.
"To tell the men that we love how we really feel about them. For me to meet Joel's mom and to be so charming that she can't help but love me. And for you to get that Benji boy and show him that you're not going to take his shit. He can try as hard as he likes to push you away but you'll bounce back, and keep coming back till…"
"Ah, Morgan" Amity interrupted.
"I'm going home to be with my mom for a while. I've already booked my ticket…I leave tomorrow"
The look on Morgan's face looked as though she was losing a best friend.
"When are you coming back? Benji that bastard! I could just ring his neck for making you do this"
"It's not all his fault. I miss home"
Morgan understood. She was a long way from her home too. If she didn't have Joel…she suddenly realised it must be hell for Amity, having no one. Well she wouldn't let this happen! If Amity wanted to run away then she could. But not till after Morgan told Benji everything! And then scolded him for acting like a complete dick to her new found friend…
"I feel we should say something to finish this off," Amity said, bringing Morgan out of her thoughts.
"Ok um how bout…"
"Oh I know, one for all…" Amity giggled, suddenly feeling ridiculous about standing here in the girl's toilets with Morgan, each girl crying her eyes out and dirty mascara stained toilettes covering the benches.
"And all for one" Morgan finished.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone else was in here" Came a voice from the door. There stood a middle-aged lady with a roll of new tissues for the dispenser.
"I'll come back later then" She smiled and left.
Morgan and Amity erupted in fits of laughter.