Digimon: Tamers. Alternate Universe. Strictly Japanese names and such but based on the events in the American version (The only one I know about)

Give me no love, because I lost it all
Give me no hate, because I have no more
Rage against my soul
Rage against my mind
Sins forgotten and brave deed performed
Look beyond my shield
Remember me as I am

Ruki was not a bright and happy type of person. In fact most people would call her sullen, morose and cold to the world around her. Thus she sat alone on a train car that was heading to who knows where. It was unusually relaxing listening to the quiet clacking of the train as it went straight on it's metal road and watching the scenery of the countryside pass by. The train was sure of its course in life but its sole occupant was unsure of the future.

"Damn them all," Ruki muttered silently.

Ruki remembered the past days of her life. She had become soft, too secure and far too dependant on her friends. Soft for allowing them to get too close, too secure thinking that they would never leave her and too dependant because believed that she could not live without them. Ruki remembered a time where she never needed such things. Alone she was strong, alone she was safe and alone she was great. Alone she was weak, alone she was insecure and alone she was nothing.

Ruki threw an angry glare at the outside world. It was all so confusing for her. She had ridden this train for a good twelve hours and it had not inspired her or resolved her feelings.

'My mother and grandmother must be worried about me...' Ruki thought idly.

The sun in the outside world was beginning to set and the rice fields of verdant green were beginning to darken. Night was approaching quickly and Ruki realized she was unsure what she was going to do. She knew exactly where she was going but what did she intend to do when she got there? She had enough money to last her awhile but it would not last forever. Ruki turned away from the window and began to look over her backpack.

The said backpack was packed with essentials she needed to have for a few days. A tent, blankets, flashlight and batteries, knife and other things. She would be alone; there would be no Renamon, no family, and no friends, in short no one to bother her. She was heading towards Hikawa forest, a place of great natural beauty and solitude. A place that was the beginning of her journey, a journey to become the best. A place where she saw the infinite possibilities of what she could be.

*****

"Ruki!" Takato shouted as loud as he could.

"Ruki! Where are you?" Juri called out with equal fervour.

The two were wandering around the park trying to look for Ruki and so far they were failing miserably. No one knew where Ruki had went, not even her ever-faithful friend Renamon knew where she had disappeared off. The Makino household was in panic except for the ever redoubtable and calm grandmother Seiko simply entered Ruki's room and sat down at the table in her young granddaughter's room. Ruki's mother, Rumiko, was another story all together, she began to panic and had all ready called the police. She was tearful and thinking of all the bad things that could possibly happen to her daughter, there were lots of bad things that could happen and the fact that Ruki's mother gave some of the most unnerving possibilities of what could happen spurred on Ruki's friends.

"It's getting late Juri-san," Takato said finally giving up shouting.

"I know but we still haven't found Ruki!" Juri replied.

"We can't search any more; it's getting dark. Maybe Jen, Hirokazu or Kenta have found her or something," Takato pointed out. It was ten p.m. and their search was so far been futile.

"I know..." Juri said sadly. Why did Ruki disappear off all of a sudden? Ruki was just starting to open up a bit more and act a little warmer to everyone. It made no sense. Half-heartedly the two walked out of the park and headed towards the Makino household. They walked together in the dark; the city lit up like a flame of eternal brilliance that pierced through the creeping night. People in the streets walked about oblivious to the two young eleven-year-olds that traversed the streets. Two young children who bore the burden of many triumphs, tragedies and adventure many could only dream and have nightmares about. Two young Digimon Tamers and they felt that had just lost another adventurer and friend.

The Makino household was up ahead. It's proud and ancient walls hide the grief and worry that bubbled inside. The garden was a slice of paradise that many Japanese would love of have. Currently the occupants trying to enjoy the garden was a young girl who should obviously be asleep and the Tamer's digimon's except Renamon who was still out searching.

"Where could Ruki have gone?" Terriermon asked out loud the question that was on everyone's mind. He was at the same time trying to avoid Shiuchon's infamous 'Ms. Pretty Pants treatment'. He bounded here and there trying to avoid the playful young girl's grasp.

"Hold still Terriermon!" Shiuchon called out as she once again failed to grab Terriermon. Lopmon watched indulgently at his young Tamer's silliness. He however refused to draw her attention to himself lest he encouraged Shiuchon to give him the 'treatment'.

"I have checked everywhere and a few places I never even thought that existed in this city," Renamon said. She appeared seemingly out of nowhere, phasing in from nothingness. She was perturbed by her lack of progress in finding Ruki. Renamon could no longer feel Ruki's presence anywhere in the city and it was rather disturbing. Renamon never realized how oddly lonely it was without Ruki's presence. Ruki had a distinctive aura and the distance in which they could communicate was great. The fact that Renamon could no longer sense Ruki anywhere in the city meant only one thing. Ruki was not in Shinjuku or anywhere close by.

In that moment the gate opened and Hirokazu, Kenta and Jen entered. They seemed to have no such luck in finding Ruki or any clues of her disappearance.

"Nothing," Jen said tiredly. They all had been looking for her for the last ten hours and nothing had turned up.

"Of course you found nothing... Ruki's no longer in Shinjuku," Renamon responded. It was the only logical conclusion to Renamon's mind.

"Oh and how do you know that?" Hirokazu asked curiously.

"I can't sense her anywhere in the city. I should of gotten a feeling of her aura by now but I haven't," Renamon answered curtly.

"Wow. So you a have a psychic link to Ruki or something?" Kenta asked with equal curiosity.

Renamon didn't really feel like answering the dubious duo's questions and turned to Jen as a subtle push for him to interrupt the two before they let loose a divulge of questions. Jen luckily noted the look on Renamon's normally dispassionate face and saved the day.

"If you can no longer feel her presence anywhere in Shinjuku, there's a good chance she's not in Tokyo at all," Jen concluded.

"What?" Takato vocalized. He and Juri had just arrived from their search and overhead Jen's remark.

Jen decided to explain his theory.

"Well Renamon has a connection to Ruki right? That connection is usually very far reaching and Renamon can usually pin point Ruki's location with little difficulty. The fact that Renamon can't sense Ruki's presence means one or two things. One is that Ruki is dead," Jen couldn't continue on. Ruki's mother had accidentally overheard Jen's comments.

"WHAT! Dead?! No! My daughter! My poor sweet daughter!" Rumiko cried out sobbing. The rest of the night was spent trying to calm Rumiko down and explain what they really meant.

*****

Ruki got off the train and looked up at the clear night sky. The train station was empty and lights lit up the place weakly. There was no one around and the sound of the train doors closing was like a gunshot in the silence. Ruki jumped at the sound and then scolded herself.

'It's only the damn train doors,' Ruki thought and looked around. Hikawa forest was only a few miles away and she had a lot of walking to do. She turned away from the train station with her backpack and walked along the dirt country road. She stopped briefly along the tracks and watched the train begin to move away from the platform slowly at first and then faster. Ruki stood there and watched the train pull away. Her hair swayed in the slight breeze and her purple eyes tried to drink in the sights of the countryside. The train's rhythmic clatter echoed throughout the night and eventually went out of sight and out of hearing range. The lights on the train were far away illusions before they finally were extinguished. Ruki then turned her eyes to the darkened country road that meandered through the idyllic but dark farmlands. Ruki could make out the shapes of farms and great trees in the moonlight. The stars were so bright and cold that Ruki almost forgot that she still had a long way to go. She put on her trench coat and turned up the cuff. The night was young and Ruki was weary.

So Ruki walked tired from her long journey on the train but refused to give up. Each step she took was a step closer to the truth. The truth that she needed to find by herself and for the sake of everyone. Was this the path that she should take in life? Why must she change? Its not like she feared change but there maybe a chance that there is a way to keep things the way before. The way that she used to be. The proud and strong warrior that stood alone in battle in a past the seemed so distant and frightful.

The stars were so bright and the moon shed its soft silvery light on the road. Ruki could only stare up at the distant stars and admire the sight. The city's electrical light usually ruined the panorama of the eternal sky. Ruki remembered a time when she admired the stars for their light, their distance and beauty unmarred by careless human hands.

'And what human hands can not touch, they obscure or hide,' Ruki mused.

The country road was an intimidating place. The shadows from the trees cast weird shapes on the ground, the sound heard was the whistling of the wind and rustling of leaves. No voices could be heard and no sound of civilization pierced through the silence that nature made. The only reminder to Ruki that she was still on earth and not some far off wilderness was the fields of rice denoting farms but even those were starting to become rare. The trees were become taller, older and more densely grown. Until finally Ruki came to a cobblestone road that lead towards a long flight of darken wooden stairs. Bright red arches that led up the great mountain flanked the stairs and there were literally hundreds of these arches for every step up the mountain. Ruki took a well-deserved break before attempting to climb the stairs. She sat down on the cobblestone street and stared up the dark ominous steps to her predetermined sojourn. All Ruki could see were the red arches winding up the mountain like a red dragon lying on the mountainside forest. The stairs zigged and zagged up until finally it stopped at an overgrown and ancient temple and further up from the temple was the bare grey stone mountaintop. The stone mountaintop stuck out like a sore thumb when contrasted by the greenery of it's forest. The temple was where Ruki was going, then the up to the top of the mountain and she was going to get there no matter what.

Ruki forced her tired legs to support her equally tired body and climbed up the stairs. The stairs seemed to go on forever but Ruki could see the temple become closer and closer as she got up each step. The red arches were old but still retained their bright red colour so that it shined in the moonlight. The forests around her were ancient old growth trees and the grey mountaintop beckoned her on.

'How many hours have I walked all ready?' Ruki thought as she tried to ignore her protesting body screaming at her for the abuse it was suffering. Rest was tempting but there were still plenty of stairs to go. Ruki cursed her weakness and checked her watch. The watch read four thirty a.m. and that surprised Ruki.

"Damn no wonder I'm tired," Ruki said out loud. The fact that she should all ready be up the stair all ready only made her increase speed up the stairs. Then she began running up the stairs using energy she thought she had long ago expended. In what seemed to be eternity Ruki finally arrived at the top of the stairs. Ruki forced her legs to stop and almost collapsed in exhaustion. Her lungs burned and her hair was wet with sweat from the run. She stared at the ground and tried to catch her breathe.

"So you have returned," an old but affable voice declared.

Ruki forced her head up and face the source of the voice. There standing in the moonlight was an old grey-haired woman with black eyes. Her hair was long and bound; she was dressed in a pure white robe and gave a long hard look at Ruki.

"I was wondering when you would return here young kitsune," the woman chuckled and smiled, "and the spirits have been lonely without your presence."

"Yes Kaho. I've returned," Ruki said and straighten her back despite her exhaustion and exuded an aura of cool confidence and power.

"Yes... I knew that you would," Kaho said, "I've been waiting for you."

"... You knew I was coming?" Ruki said incredulously.

To that Kaho smiled mysteriously and picked up an ancient lantern and lit it.

"Your tired young one. There's a bed prepared for you," Kaho said simply and turned around leading the way to one of the ancient temple's buildings. Ruki was too tired to really complain or get annoyed with the old woman and followed her. Kaho opened one of the paper sliding doors and showed Ruki in. As promised there was a plain futon spread out on the tatami floor and Kaho put down the lantern in one of the corners of the room.

"Stay as long as you need to. As long as you need to find yourself," Kaho said and left Ruki alone. Ruki felt a little uneasy, it didn't matter when, why or how she would arrive here, Kaho would always know when, why and exactly how long Ruki intended to stay. The last time Ruki was here, she intended to stay only for a few hours and Kaho predicted exactly how long and why. It didn't matter to Kaho if it was just a few minutes or for three days or it was earth shattering. Few things seemed to matter to the old woman and that was both a blessing and curse for Ruki.

Ruki wasted no time and entered the room after Kaho had left. Ruki took off her shoes and entered the room. She was exhausted by her journey, so as soon as Ruki had closed the sliding doors and put her backpack down. She went into the futon, blew out the lantern and fell asleep immediately without changing her clothes. Sleep came swiftly and Ruki was oblivious to the passing world.