Turkey
By Todd fan
Disclaimer: "Go back to 3B, 3B!".
This is NOT a Thanksgiving fic. More of a prelude to one :D. This is another of my very very bizzare short fics. God knows how i thought of it..it just...happened. Probably because of the stress of not being able to see the one episode centering almost entirely on my fave character. Hate British TV. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE it!!!!!
************
Pietro Maximoff, the self-proclaimed 'best Brotherhood leader...ever!', was sprawled out on the couch, attempting to watch TV. Outside the faint sound of chopping could be heard.
"You better be cutting up that wood real nice Rocky!", he shouted, "and hustle it up!. I'm getting cold".
The chopping stopped for a second while some muttering could be heard, followed by a slight tremor. After a few minutes, the chopping started up again. Pietro smirked and grabbed a little bell by the side of the couch. He shook it and waited.... and waited.
"Hey, i'm ringing the bell here!", he shouted, giving it a hard shake.
Fred walked through with a frown on his face.
"What now?".
"I need you to go to the store and buy me some chocolate", said Pietro, "nut-free, sugar-free, no fat!".
"They don't make chocolate like that Pietro", said Fred, rubbing his temple with a huge hand, "i told you that ages ago".
"Damn!", said Pietro, "well they SHOULD. Freddy, write me a letter to the..the..chocolate..making...guy. Tell him i want a nut-free, sugar-free no fat chocolate bar..ooooh could he make it in mint?".
"You're getting drunk with power Pietro", commented Wanda, strolling into the room.
"I'm not drunk with power!", said Pietro defensively.
"Lance has been in the snow for three hours chopping wood. His hands are turning a very unhealthy purple colour. Freddy has just spent the better part of one hour picking the marshmallow bits out of the lucky charms for you. And Todd...you sent Todd to rake the leaves out of the garden five hours ago, i haven't seen him since".
"Well...maybe i'm a little tipsy", said Pietro with a shrug, "anyway, why aren't you doing YOUR chores?".
"Because i don't want to", said Wanda simply, grabbing the TV remote and sitting on a chair, switching the channel in the process.
"Hey i was watching that!", protested Pietro.
"Too bad", said Wanda with a smirk, "i'm watching this now".
"I...i..i'm telling dad!", wailed Pietro, standing up and running to the phone, only to be tackled to the ground by Wanda.
"Taddle-tale, taddle-tale!", mocked Wanda, hexing the phone so it stopped working.
"Your a big meany!", said Pietro, pulling a face.
Wanda stood up and walked away.
"I'm going to ignore you now Pietro", she said, "but you just wait".
"Wait for what?", asked Lance, hobbling into the room and sitting down.
"Have you finnished choping wood yet?", asked Pietro, putting his hands on his hips.
"Yes 'your highness'", snarled Lance, "and i have about a hundred splinters in my fingers too. Not that it matters, 'cause i can't feel MY HANDS!".
"Testy, testy", said Pietro, smiling and shaking his head.
There was a resounding BANG through the house and Todd fell into the room.
"Oww", was all he said before dropping to the ground.
"Now look what you've done!", said Fred, "you've killed Toad!".
"I don't know whether to laugh or cry", said Wanda, then blinked, "...did i just say that out loud?".
"Okay...", said Pietro, raising an eyebrow and backing away from his sister, "we'll talk about that later".
We walked over to Todd and gave him a gentle prod with his foot.
"Hey!", said Todd from the ground, "i'm used ta people kickin' me when i'm down, but this is ridiculous!".
"He's not dead", said Pietro, picking Todd up, "what the heck happened to you?. And...why are there still leaves in the garden?!".
"I was attacked, yo", said Todd.
"By who, Nightcrawler? One-eye? Baldy?", said Lance picking splinters of wood from his fingers.
"No...", said Todd, "by....".
"Gobble".
The Brotherhood turned to see a turkey standing in the hallway.
"That", said Todd, blinking.
Wanda remained motionless for a second, staring wide-eyed at the bird. She suddenly gave a scream of absolute terror and did the only logical thing that entered her mind at the time. She jumped into Todd's arms and hid her head over his shoulder.
"Don't let it get me!", she wimpered.
The rest of the Brotherhood looked at her in surprise, bar Todd, who had a look of sheer bliss. Then Pietro started to laugh.
"I know what this is about!", he said, slapping his knee, "this is from when we were four isn't it?. When we went to that petting zoo and the turkey bit you?".
"All i wanted to do was give it some food..maybe pet it", wimpered Wanda, "and it..it... viciously attacked me!".
"Gobble", said the turkey, walking into the room.
Wanda gave another shriek and clung tighter to Todd, her eyes screwed shut.
"Make it go away!", she said, he voice muffled against Todd's shirt.
"Hey, i can hardly breathe, but i'm happy", said Todd, struggling for air, "don't worry Cuddlebumps, i'll get rid of it for you".
"Thank you", she wimpered, letting go of him and runnning to the other side of the room.
"Okay", said Todd, walking towards the turkey, "here turkey turkey turkey. Gobble gobble, gobble".
He got within five feet of the turkey and decided to dive bomb it. Unfortuantely, the turkey saw it comming a mile off and ran out of the way, flapping its wings. Wanda gave another squeak of fright and jumped onto the table.
"Kill it kill it kill it!", she shouted hysterically.
"Geez.....chill out Wanda!", said Pietro, rolling his eyes, "were'd you think it came from?".
"Who cares? KILL IT!", shouted Wanda.
"It must be from the Peterson's next door", said Lance with a shrug, "they have a pet turkey".
"Our neighbours have a pet turkey and you guys didn't warn me?!", shouted Wanda.
"I would'a warned ya if i knew ya didn't like 'em", said Todd, in his defense.
"Yeah, we didn't know it was an issue", said Fred.
"I did", said Pietro with a smirk, "i just wanted her to find out for herself".
"When that thing goes, i will kill you Pietro, okay?. I will kill you!", said Wanda.
"I don't know..maybe we should keep it", said Pietro with a shrug, "it'd be a pretty cool pet".
"Don't you DARE!", said Wanda.
"Gobble, gobble", said the turkey, moving towards the table.
"Arrrrrrgh!!!", said Wanda, "TOAD! Get rid of it!".
"Sure things Shugarcakes", said Todd, running at the turkey again, only for it to side-step him, "a little help guys".
Lance frowned.
"Okay turkey-bird, you're going down!", he said.
He rolled his eyes and caused a tremor to sweep towards the bird. The bird mearly hopped out of the way, the tremor instead hitting Fred, causing him to fall on the floor.
"Watch it man!", said Fred, making a grab for the turkey, "gotcha!".
The turkey gobbled ran out of his reach, making a beeline for the stairs.
"It's going upstairs!", shouted Pietro, running after it, in a second he was back again, "i can't find it. I think it went into Rogue's old room".
"Oh good God, we'll never find it", said Lance, shaking his head, "it's a physco turkey and its on the loose in our house!".
"You'd BETTER find it!", said Wanda crossing her arms.
"No one's been in Rogue's room since she left", said Pietro, "she had all sorts of weird stuff in there, i'm sure she put a curse on it before she left!".
"I'll put a curse on YOU in a minute", said Wanda, "please get rid of it!".
Reulctantly, the boys walked upstairs. Lance armed with a frying pan, Todd a mop, Freddy a kettle and Pietro, very bizarely, with an electric toothbrush. Lance cautiously opened the door to the Goth's old room. It was pitch black, the colour of the walls. A few ripped posters of various rock bands still hung on the walls. There were a pile of clothes in the middle of the floor and some ripped up magazines scattered on the gothic-style bed.
"Wow...you'd swear she never moved out", mused Freddy, walking in.
Suddenly, the pile of clothes moved. Pietro pointed to it.
"Okay", he said in a whisper, "on the count of three, we jump it, right?. One, two, three, NOW!".
All four boys leapt at the pile of clothes and started pummeling it with their chosen weapons. After the testotorone levels had ebbed, they stood back.
"You think it's dead?", asked Todd.
"I don't know", said Pietro, "Fred, give it a poke".
"Are you kidding me!", said Freddy, "it'll kill me!".
"You have invunerable skin Blob", said Lance, rolling his eyes, "just poke the damn pile".
Fred sighed and hesitantly walked over to the pile of clothes. He gave it a tentative poke and jumped back. Nothing happened.
"Its....gone", said Fred, "i don't think it was ever there".
Suddenly Wanda's scream could be heard from downstairs.
"I'm commin' Cuddlebumbs!", shouted Todd, racing away.
"You know what worries me?", said Lance, "if the turkey didn't move the clothes....what did?".
"Lets hope we never find out", said Pietro shutting the door, "and may we never speak of it again".
Downstairs, the turkey had Wanda cornered in the living room.
"Any time guys!", she shouted
Todd skidded into the room.
"Use your powers Sweetie!", he shouted.
"I can't", said Wanda, shaking, "i'm too scared!".
"Okay...", said Todd, "i'll save ya".
He tackled the turkey to the ground, this time making a direct hit. He found himself sitting on top of the bird.
"Hey..i got it!", said Todd, surprised.
It was then that the turkey went bezerk. Todd held on for dear life as the bird ran around gobbling it's head off and flapping it's wings.
"Open the door!", shouted Todd.
Pietro quickly obliged and Todd steered the manic creature out of the door. As the looked int the distance, the Brotherhood could see the faint image of the turkey running, trailing Todd behind it.
"I'm sure he'll be home in a few hours", said Pietro with a shrug, closing the door.
He walked over to where his twin was still a cowering mess in the corner of the room.
"Wanda...it's gone", he said, carefully tapping her on the shoulder, "Todd got rid of it".
"He....did?", she asked, fearfully looking around, "are you..sure?".
"Yeah", said Pietro, "have i ever doubted you?".
"I could count more than a few occasions", said Wanda, crossing her arms and standing up, "so..where is it now?".
"I don't know", said Pietro with a shurg, "wherever it dragged Todd i suppose".
As if on cue, Todd stumbled in through the door.
"Where is it?", asked Wanda, looking behind him.
"Relax Cuddlebumps, it's far far away", said Todd, putting his arm around her shoulder, "does the hero get a kiss?".
"Not in this lifetime", said Wanda, taking his arm from around her shoulders, "but... thanks".
"Thats good enoguh for me", said Todd with a grin.
"So where is the physco turkey now?", asked Lance.
"Oh...somewhere where it will have LOTS of people to play with", said Todd with an evil smirk.
Meanwhile, in the Xavier institute, Bobby was happily making a turkey sandwich.
"Gobble".
"Huh?", said Bobby, looking at his sandwich.
"Gobble gobble".
Bobby spun around to see a turkey standing in the kicthen doorway.
"Oh hey there little fella", he said, "and what's your name?...hey...what are you doing?. Arrrrrrrghhhh!. Professor help me! I'm being attacked by a turkey!!!".
"That's nice Bobby", said Xavier as he wheeled past.
"Gobble gobble gobble".
"Great turkey impression too, you must try out for the tallent show".
Yes..well. Why is it that whenever i end one of these, Bobby usually gets hurt of humiliated? I honestly don't know...Oh well... Please rveiew..please?
By Todd fan
Disclaimer: "Go back to 3B, 3B!".
This is NOT a Thanksgiving fic. More of a prelude to one :D. This is another of my very very bizzare short fics. God knows how i thought of it..it just...happened. Probably because of the stress of not being able to see the one episode centering almost entirely on my fave character. Hate British TV. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE it!!!!!
************
Pietro Maximoff, the self-proclaimed 'best Brotherhood leader...ever!', was sprawled out on the couch, attempting to watch TV. Outside the faint sound of chopping could be heard.
"You better be cutting up that wood real nice Rocky!", he shouted, "and hustle it up!. I'm getting cold".
The chopping stopped for a second while some muttering could be heard, followed by a slight tremor. After a few minutes, the chopping started up again. Pietro smirked and grabbed a little bell by the side of the couch. He shook it and waited.... and waited.
"Hey, i'm ringing the bell here!", he shouted, giving it a hard shake.
Fred walked through with a frown on his face.
"What now?".
"I need you to go to the store and buy me some chocolate", said Pietro, "nut-free, sugar-free, no fat!".
"They don't make chocolate like that Pietro", said Fred, rubbing his temple with a huge hand, "i told you that ages ago".
"Damn!", said Pietro, "well they SHOULD. Freddy, write me a letter to the..the..chocolate..making...guy. Tell him i want a nut-free, sugar-free no fat chocolate bar..ooooh could he make it in mint?".
"You're getting drunk with power Pietro", commented Wanda, strolling into the room.
"I'm not drunk with power!", said Pietro defensively.
"Lance has been in the snow for three hours chopping wood. His hands are turning a very unhealthy purple colour. Freddy has just spent the better part of one hour picking the marshmallow bits out of the lucky charms for you. And Todd...you sent Todd to rake the leaves out of the garden five hours ago, i haven't seen him since".
"Well...maybe i'm a little tipsy", said Pietro with a shrug, "anyway, why aren't you doing YOUR chores?".
"Because i don't want to", said Wanda simply, grabbing the TV remote and sitting on a chair, switching the channel in the process.
"Hey i was watching that!", protested Pietro.
"Too bad", said Wanda with a smirk, "i'm watching this now".
"I...i..i'm telling dad!", wailed Pietro, standing up and running to the phone, only to be tackled to the ground by Wanda.
"Taddle-tale, taddle-tale!", mocked Wanda, hexing the phone so it stopped working.
"Your a big meany!", said Pietro, pulling a face.
Wanda stood up and walked away.
"I'm going to ignore you now Pietro", she said, "but you just wait".
"Wait for what?", asked Lance, hobbling into the room and sitting down.
"Have you finnished choping wood yet?", asked Pietro, putting his hands on his hips.
"Yes 'your highness'", snarled Lance, "and i have about a hundred splinters in my fingers too. Not that it matters, 'cause i can't feel MY HANDS!".
"Testy, testy", said Pietro, smiling and shaking his head.
There was a resounding BANG through the house and Todd fell into the room.
"Oww", was all he said before dropping to the ground.
"Now look what you've done!", said Fred, "you've killed Toad!".
"I don't know whether to laugh or cry", said Wanda, then blinked, "...did i just say that out loud?".
"Okay...", said Pietro, raising an eyebrow and backing away from his sister, "we'll talk about that later".
We walked over to Todd and gave him a gentle prod with his foot.
"Hey!", said Todd from the ground, "i'm used ta people kickin' me when i'm down, but this is ridiculous!".
"He's not dead", said Pietro, picking Todd up, "what the heck happened to you?. And...why are there still leaves in the garden?!".
"I was attacked, yo", said Todd.
"By who, Nightcrawler? One-eye? Baldy?", said Lance picking splinters of wood from his fingers.
"No...", said Todd, "by....".
"Gobble".
The Brotherhood turned to see a turkey standing in the hallway.
"That", said Todd, blinking.
Wanda remained motionless for a second, staring wide-eyed at the bird. She suddenly gave a scream of absolute terror and did the only logical thing that entered her mind at the time. She jumped into Todd's arms and hid her head over his shoulder.
"Don't let it get me!", she wimpered.
The rest of the Brotherhood looked at her in surprise, bar Todd, who had a look of sheer bliss. Then Pietro started to laugh.
"I know what this is about!", he said, slapping his knee, "this is from when we were four isn't it?. When we went to that petting zoo and the turkey bit you?".
"All i wanted to do was give it some food..maybe pet it", wimpered Wanda, "and it..it... viciously attacked me!".
"Gobble", said the turkey, walking into the room.
Wanda gave another shriek and clung tighter to Todd, her eyes screwed shut.
"Make it go away!", she said, he voice muffled against Todd's shirt.
"Hey, i can hardly breathe, but i'm happy", said Todd, struggling for air, "don't worry Cuddlebumps, i'll get rid of it for you".
"Thank you", she wimpered, letting go of him and runnning to the other side of the room.
"Okay", said Todd, walking towards the turkey, "here turkey turkey turkey. Gobble gobble, gobble".
He got within five feet of the turkey and decided to dive bomb it. Unfortuantely, the turkey saw it comming a mile off and ran out of the way, flapping its wings. Wanda gave another squeak of fright and jumped onto the table.
"Kill it kill it kill it!", she shouted hysterically.
"Geez.....chill out Wanda!", said Pietro, rolling his eyes, "were'd you think it came from?".
"Who cares? KILL IT!", shouted Wanda.
"It must be from the Peterson's next door", said Lance with a shrug, "they have a pet turkey".
"Our neighbours have a pet turkey and you guys didn't warn me?!", shouted Wanda.
"I would'a warned ya if i knew ya didn't like 'em", said Todd, in his defense.
"Yeah, we didn't know it was an issue", said Fred.
"I did", said Pietro with a smirk, "i just wanted her to find out for herself".
"When that thing goes, i will kill you Pietro, okay?. I will kill you!", said Wanda.
"I don't know..maybe we should keep it", said Pietro with a shrug, "it'd be a pretty cool pet".
"Don't you DARE!", said Wanda.
"Gobble, gobble", said the turkey, moving towards the table.
"Arrrrrrgh!!!", said Wanda, "TOAD! Get rid of it!".
"Sure things Shugarcakes", said Todd, running at the turkey again, only for it to side-step him, "a little help guys".
Lance frowned.
"Okay turkey-bird, you're going down!", he said.
He rolled his eyes and caused a tremor to sweep towards the bird. The bird mearly hopped out of the way, the tremor instead hitting Fred, causing him to fall on the floor.
"Watch it man!", said Fred, making a grab for the turkey, "gotcha!".
The turkey gobbled ran out of his reach, making a beeline for the stairs.
"It's going upstairs!", shouted Pietro, running after it, in a second he was back again, "i can't find it. I think it went into Rogue's old room".
"Oh good God, we'll never find it", said Lance, shaking his head, "it's a physco turkey and its on the loose in our house!".
"You'd BETTER find it!", said Wanda crossing her arms.
"No one's been in Rogue's room since she left", said Pietro, "she had all sorts of weird stuff in there, i'm sure she put a curse on it before she left!".
"I'll put a curse on YOU in a minute", said Wanda, "please get rid of it!".
Reulctantly, the boys walked upstairs. Lance armed with a frying pan, Todd a mop, Freddy a kettle and Pietro, very bizarely, with an electric toothbrush. Lance cautiously opened the door to the Goth's old room. It was pitch black, the colour of the walls. A few ripped posters of various rock bands still hung on the walls. There were a pile of clothes in the middle of the floor and some ripped up magazines scattered on the gothic-style bed.
"Wow...you'd swear she never moved out", mused Freddy, walking in.
Suddenly, the pile of clothes moved. Pietro pointed to it.
"Okay", he said in a whisper, "on the count of three, we jump it, right?. One, two, three, NOW!".
All four boys leapt at the pile of clothes and started pummeling it with their chosen weapons. After the testotorone levels had ebbed, they stood back.
"You think it's dead?", asked Todd.
"I don't know", said Pietro, "Fred, give it a poke".
"Are you kidding me!", said Freddy, "it'll kill me!".
"You have invunerable skin Blob", said Lance, rolling his eyes, "just poke the damn pile".
Fred sighed and hesitantly walked over to the pile of clothes. He gave it a tentative poke and jumped back. Nothing happened.
"Its....gone", said Fred, "i don't think it was ever there".
Suddenly Wanda's scream could be heard from downstairs.
"I'm commin' Cuddlebumbs!", shouted Todd, racing away.
"You know what worries me?", said Lance, "if the turkey didn't move the clothes....what did?".
"Lets hope we never find out", said Pietro shutting the door, "and may we never speak of it again".
Downstairs, the turkey had Wanda cornered in the living room.
"Any time guys!", she shouted
Todd skidded into the room.
"Use your powers Sweetie!", he shouted.
"I can't", said Wanda, shaking, "i'm too scared!".
"Okay...", said Todd, "i'll save ya".
He tackled the turkey to the ground, this time making a direct hit. He found himself sitting on top of the bird.
"Hey..i got it!", said Todd, surprised.
It was then that the turkey went bezerk. Todd held on for dear life as the bird ran around gobbling it's head off and flapping it's wings.
"Open the door!", shouted Todd.
Pietro quickly obliged and Todd steered the manic creature out of the door. As the looked int the distance, the Brotherhood could see the faint image of the turkey running, trailing Todd behind it.
"I'm sure he'll be home in a few hours", said Pietro with a shrug, closing the door.
He walked over to where his twin was still a cowering mess in the corner of the room.
"Wanda...it's gone", he said, carefully tapping her on the shoulder, "Todd got rid of it".
"He....did?", she asked, fearfully looking around, "are you..sure?".
"Yeah", said Pietro, "have i ever doubted you?".
"I could count more than a few occasions", said Wanda, crossing her arms and standing up, "so..where is it now?".
"I don't know", said Pietro with a shurg, "wherever it dragged Todd i suppose".
As if on cue, Todd stumbled in through the door.
"Where is it?", asked Wanda, looking behind him.
"Relax Cuddlebumps, it's far far away", said Todd, putting his arm around her shoulder, "does the hero get a kiss?".
"Not in this lifetime", said Wanda, taking his arm from around her shoulders, "but... thanks".
"Thats good enoguh for me", said Todd with a grin.
"So where is the physco turkey now?", asked Lance.
"Oh...somewhere where it will have LOTS of people to play with", said Todd with an evil smirk.
Meanwhile, in the Xavier institute, Bobby was happily making a turkey sandwich.
"Gobble".
"Huh?", said Bobby, looking at his sandwich.
"Gobble gobble".
Bobby spun around to see a turkey standing in the kicthen doorway.
"Oh hey there little fella", he said, "and what's your name?...hey...what are you doing?. Arrrrrrrghhhh!. Professor help me! I'm being attacked by a turkey!!!".
"That's nice Bobby", said Xavier as he wheeled past.
"Gobble gobble gobble".
"Great turkey impression too, you must try out for the tallent show".
Yes..well. Why is it that whenever i end one of these, Bobby usually gets hurt of humiliated? I honestly don't know...Oh well... Please rveiew..please?