Eh hm... I am not trying to insult Christianity in any way. Yes you heard me; I am not trying to insult Christianity in any way. There is a simple Latin prayer put in here called 'Ave Maria' which Sen says. He is a Roman Catholic Christian, one that's lost faith and such, and more over a partial Japanese and German descent.

The essay written in Ruki's journal is a edited version of one written by Alan Taylor. The University of Texas at Arlington. Circa 1996. It is based on the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche and modified and added a few things by me.

Japanese evolution line names Child-Adult-Perfect-Ultimate.
American evolution line names Rookie-Champion-Ultimate-Mega.

Translation of Ave Maria

I confess to almighty God, to blessed Mary ever Virgin, to blessed Michael the Archangel, to blessed John the Baptist, to the holy apostles Peter and Paul, and to all the saints that I have sinned exceedingly in thought, word, and deed, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. Therefore, I beseech blessed Mary ever Virgin, blessed Michael the Archangel, blessed John the Baptist, the holy apostles Peter and Paul, and all the saints, to pray for me to the Lord our God. Amen.

You asked me a question years ago,
And here is the answer at your grave.
Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death
I could be so content hearing the sound of your voice...
But it isn't going to happen is it?

Beep... Beep... Beep...

The droning sound of the machine was maddening. It cheerfully fed information that its charge under its electrical watch was indeed still alive and breathing but nothing else. The rhythmic pulse did not change for the past hour but that mattered little to the only visitor in the room. He sat on a chair and looked at the face of a woman that was once full of life and quiet dignity. It was painful to watch the patient's peaceful calm face; it looked like she was sleeping and would wake up at any time but Sen knew it wasn't so. He didn't really care at this point of time and simply stared at the woman that was once his mother. She was beautiful woman he supposed with flowing brown hair and dark eyes. Those same eyes were lifeless and dull now and possessed nothing of the spark of life that proclaimed she was alert and alive.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

It was past visiting hour for the hospital but Sen didn't really care about that either. He wanted so desperately to reach out and just squeeze her hand reassuringly, just like she used to do when he was upset but the very act was futile. She could not possible feel it nor recognize that her own son was doing it to give her strength. Thus Sen's own strength failed him and left him limp on the chair. Outside the window the wind howled and whistled under the violence of the storm. Rain painted the city to a drab and depressing darkness with flashes of lightning to remind people that light still existed.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

So there Sen sat, watching and waiting, knowing it was completely futile to do so. Sen hated hospitals, he hated their smell, their feel, and the sounds of muffled moaning and sobbing from dying or catatonic patients. He cursed his now supernatural senses for making him know everything that was going on in this part of the hospital ward. He smelt death; he felt death and heard death all over the place. It permeated the atmosphere and tainted Sen's entire being. All around him were dying people and dying auras waiting to be snuffed out by the dreaded but oh so useful and necessary Death.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

Sen noted that Death had taken the patient of room 34, just down the hallway and heard the man groan and choke before his aura simply sputtered out of existence. Sen shuddered as he felt Death did its work and then enter his mother's room where it stopped and looked over his mother's bed. Waiting ever so patiently for her life force to weaken and be snuffed out. Sen felt immensely glad that his mother's life force was as strong as a living person unaffiliated with disease was or sickness was. If losing your soul to a being who promptly ate that soul was something to be thankful about. The body was fine but it was empty and cold to touch without a soul.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

Death left the room slowly as if mourning the fact it only took one life tonight from the hospital. Sen let out a breath of relief when it's presence left. He wondered why he kept his mother's body alive? There was no chance in hell he could get her soul back, it was lost, destroyed, gone. Nothing he did would ever return her soul and yet he kept the empty shell of her body alive. Was it to give him some sort of peace of mind that she was still 'alive' in some sense of word?

Beep... Beep... Beep...

It would be so easy to end this farce, this illusion. All you have to do is pull out the cords of the machine from the wall and the body will die. Sen shuddered at his thoughts and felt mildly ill. Occasionally the reasoning of his 'ascended' side would appear and he give out 'advice' that he had no intention of following but how tempting it was. But then what would he tell his little brother at his grave? Sorry but I murdered mom so she won't be coming back to you, don't worry she's in a better place. What place is that? Well her soul is trapped in this immortality, divinity obsessed being that wants to become god or something but I'm sure she's very happy. It's not heaven but hey you can't have everything.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

Sen decided it was best not to pursue any further that line of thought. He idly shifted his black trench coat and crossed his arms tiredly. Visiting hours was over hours ago. Except no one in the hospital knew he was in this room and it was far too easy for him to leave if a nurse was about to enter the room. All he had to do was picture where he wanted to go and then just materialize at that place. It cut down on traveling costs at the very least and yet every time Sen used his abilities, the more and more he felt a little bit of him slip away and be replaced by his heritage, his blood, and his divinity. Sen chuckled darkly and wondered how he's priest would react at the choice of words used. The old priest would probably proclaim it blasphemy.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

Then again what did it matter? He should have died two years ago but luck or fate or the multitude of other little things that made him survive that cold winter night. The Children of Yllas overlooked him by accident simply because he was at the temple with Kaho. A brief sojourn to the temple to explore the realms of his powers while Ruki was still struggling to trigger her 'ascension'. He didn't want to know what his little brother saw that would drive him to jump out the window of the apartment on the thirtieth floor to escape the cult. His little brother was only six years old at the time and he took his own life rather than be caught by the Children of Yllas. He felt no comfort in the fact that his brother died with his soul intact and relatively 'unharmed'.

Sen felt the weight of his decisions on his soul or what was left of it. He had surely damned Ruki to the same fate as his mother or perhaps the fate of his little brother if she was lucky enough to have time to commit suicide.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

'Unlikely... She'll fight to the bitter end,' Sen quietly noted. He couldn't imagine Ruki taking her own life, if worse came to worse.

Sen looked into the window and saw his reflection in it. He saw a boy with blonde hair and blue and green eyes stare back without hope. A disenfranchised Christian with a rosary in his left pocket and a small bible in the other who still clung onto the misguided hope that God would forgive him and give everything back. Sen got the rosary out and wrapped around one of his hands loosely in clasped his hands together.

"Confiteor deo omnipotenti, beatae Mariae semper Virgini, beato Michaeli Archangelo, beato Ioanni Baptistae, sanctis Apostolis Petro et Paulo, et omnibus Sanctis, quia peccavi nimis cogitatione, verbo et opere: mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Ideo precor beatam Mariam semper Virginem, beatum Michaelem Archangelum, beatum Ioannem Baptistam, sanctos Apostolos Petrum et Paulum, et omnes Sanctos, orare pro me ad Dominum Deum nostrum," Sen prayed silently. He was different from the normal people of Japan; he lost count of the number of times he had been called a gaijin, an outsider. He was born here in Tokyo and yet he was always an outsider with a strange religion. It was probably because of his blonde hair and strange eyes.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

"Amen," Sen finished. He felt he needed all the prayers he could get, if the saints in heaven bothered to pray for sinners and blasphemers. At least there weren't any Japanese people staring at him and whispering to each other wondering why the strange but handsome boy was muttering in a language no one could understand or why he was muttering and talking to no one.

Was he really that different? Was he even human any more? What did God have to with this? He hadn't been church for almost two years, much less prayed to God. His mother taught him this prayer though he understood what was being said, he didn't really see the point to it. To admit that you have sinned was supposed to make things better some how? He had sinned so many times against so many people that he had lost count. How many times had he convinced some stupid weak willed digimon or person to sign away their lives and souls on that neat dotted line in a contract? And for what have those idiots signed away their lives and souls for? The usual vices of revenge, wealth, fame and occasionally love.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

"God in his heaven... All is not right on Earth;" Sen muttered and got up from his chair. He simply faded into thin air leaving behind a room that housed an empty shell of a woman that once was. He quietly wondered if he would be visiting Ruki like this at the end of this gamble. To look at the face of another who was now an empty shell of a person that once was, simply because it was his own entire damn fault.

*****

Ruki watched the world go through slow motion. She could see the dull white eyes blink with surprise so slowly that Ruki wondered how many times she could punch them before the eyelid closed. She was fast and leapt up so quickly that it was ridiculous. Ruki could have cracked a joke, read a book and cook dinner at the speed, which the ugly thing was moving at. Not that Ruki would take such an unnecessary chance such as that, quick, bloody and perfect, that was plan for the battle. No off the wall stunts, weird moves and such. Quick brutal moves and an end to the entire affair. Move on and have dinner because I'm hungry.

Ruki slammed her foot into the abdomen and punched the jaw of the creature. The head snapped up and the body flew backwards from the force of the blow. The wild swings of the claws harmlessly swished over her head and the creature crashed into a few trees, knocking them to the ground.

"This is too easy..." Ruki muttered. She was completely off guard when something attacked her from behind. She flew forward from the force and skidded along on the ground until she came to a stop in a stream. Another creature from behind attacked her similar to the one she had knocked down. The creature had covered the distance between them so quickly that Ruki didn't expect it.

"Damn," Ruki swore as she got back on her feet quickly to face her new attacker. If Ruki weren't so busy fighting, she would have noted that she was as not as badly injured, as she should be. The attack from behind for all accounts should have broken her back or killed her but it was hard to rationalize such things in the heat of the moment. Ruki was far too busy fighting to realize that she should be severely injured or dead. The attacker bristled and opened its mouth.

"Sticky Net!" The creature shouted. Ruki came to a conclusion she was fighting a digimon and grimaced. The straight trajectory of the shot was quite easy for to avoid. The ball of white webbing careened towards Ruki who sidestepped the attack. The attack hit the ground behind her and exploded into a messy stream of webbing that stuck her legs to the ground.

"Double damn," Ruki swore and sensed that the other digimon that had been knocked down get up and rush forward for an attack. Ruki smell its stinking breath and hear the whistling of the wind from its charging body from behind. Her feet were stuck in the ground and she couldn't turn around to face the next attack. Ruki felt her body go into autopilot, her instincts screaming and reflexes taking over. Ruki fell to her knees quickly and narrowly avoided the digimon's sharp, grime incrusted claws that whistle past her head. Time still seemed like it was going in slow motion for Ruki and she felt her arm shoot up and grab the digimon's arm. With a quick strong flick, she flipped the airborne digimon and heard a fleshy tearing noise. Ruki's eyes widened when she saw her move rip the digimon's arm out from its shoulder. The digimon screamed in pain as it flew overhead in a new direction from the one it had started, data bled from it's arm socket. It crashed into a bush and lay there in pain. Ruki saw that in her hand was the digimon's arm with data streaming from it, it stained her hand black. The claws looked wickedly sharp and could easily of rend her flesh, the realization of how close she was to dying put things into perspective.

Ruki's trance was broken and she used the arm's claws to cut the webbing at her feet. The other digimon was amazed at had happened and saw what Ruki was doing. It shot another webbing attack but Ruki managed to cut her way through the webbing and jump up into the air. Ruki began to note that her dramatic increase in strength and speed; her jump had taken her up six meters up into the air. The digimon's arm in her left hand dissolved into data, painting her hand and arm black likes thick blood. The scent of data smelled like burning tar, sweat and blood all at the same time. It was fairly noxious but Ruki concentrated at the threat in front of her.

"AHHH!!!!" The fallen digimon continued to scream. It gripped where it's arm was and tried to staunch the bleeding data from its body. Ruki ignored the fallen digimon and charged the one that was still unharmed. The other digimon panicked at the sight of Ruki charging and shot off more of his attacks.

"Sticky Net! Sticky Net! Sticky Net!" The digimon vainly attacked, missing Ruki who swerved side to side avoiding the exploding projectiles that would impede her movement and trap her. Ruki pulled back her fist and then slammed it into the digimon's face. She sent it flying in the air while it began to delete until its data painted the ground it went over. The other digimon white eyes widened and tried to back away from Ruki.

"No... Ah... Please! Spare me!" The other one screamed in fear and stared at Ruki with terror. Ruki eyes flashed with annoyance and glared at the digimon.

"Why the hell should I do that? You attacked me first!" Ruki said in a dangerous low voice. She approached the terrified digimon who gripped its bleeding shoulder where its left arm once was.

"Please! I all ready lost my arm to you! I'm no longer a threat!" The digimon explained.

"... Talk and I'll consider. Why did you attack me!" Ruki demanded.

"You were a lone human! I thought I could take you down and kill you for your food!" The digimon explained. In truth it was lying, it waited for Ruki to drop her defense. If it could not bring back the 'ascended' one, he would injure her enough for the others to grab her. He honestly did not expect the kitsune to realize its strength so early.

"... That's a lie..." Ruki noted. A digimon unable to forage for food? Impossible! Any digimon in the Digital world knew how to find food if it was hungry. How difficult would it be for a digimon to find food on Earth? They were used to foraging, fighting and such. This world was a peaceful paradise compared to the Digital World.

"I'm tell you the truth! Please spare me! I am just a mere Kumon!" The digimon grovelled while it waited for an opportunity to attack Ruki.

"You are also a liar... I don't like liars," Ruki said calmly. Ruki rushed forward as if to give Kumon the killing blow and he closed his eyes. He had failed and now he didn't have an opportunity to make himself useful for Yllas. He closed its eyes for the killing blow was surprised to feel the ground beside him explode with a resounding thud. He careful opened his eyes and saw Ruki's fist make an impact zone right beside him. If he had been at the receiving end of the blow, he would have been immediately deleted. Kumon was petrified with terror but tried to gather his resolve.

"Get out... or the next one I won't miss," Ruki threatened. She purposely missed but was faintly shocked by what she did. She got up and walked away from Kumon without looking back. She looked at her fist and saw that it was uninjured from the blow, despite the fact she punched solid rock and made a dent. Kumon though scared gathered whatever was left of his fanatical loyalty to Yllas and made a final attack on Ruki when her back was turned.

Ruki heard Kumon get up to attack her from behind and reacted by turning around to meet his attack. Ruki never got an opportunity to kill Kumon. Though Ruki could have easily dispatched Kumon something else took him out before Ruki could react. Behind Kumon was a tall looking woman with black hair in a sombre looking kimono. Kumon had a numb look of shock and fell forward. When he hit the ground, he burst into data but it didn't stain the mysterious woman's clothing. The burst however made some of the data hit Ruki who felt it seep into her clothing and drip down her face. Ruki felt the data drip down her face in small rivulets and wiped away from her cheek.

"Who are you?" Ruki said, she backed away from the woman. She backed up into someone else who had some how evaded her senses and jumped forward and spun around to see an old man in an old kimono with an old fashion pipe in his mouth. His had gripped the base and took it out of his mouth to blow out some smoke. Ruki looked around her to see who else and saw six others surrounding her. The people all had the same auras as the ones she had felt at the temple. They all stood and watched Ruki.

Ruki then realized that was she was dirty and her clothing were ripped. Her jeans were missing some pieces and her shirt had various tears in it. She was bleeding from one of her arms and a small cut on her forehead made it known when Ruki wiped one of hands across it to wipe off some sweat. Data was splattered over her clothing and smelt very bad.

"Who are we? Why we're your relatives!" A perky looking young girl a few years younger than Ruki enthusiastically explained. She wore a bright red and blue silk kimono that was more appropriate for festivals than daily wear. She was about Shuichon's age but held a sort of admiring and yet mischievous glint in her eyes when she regarded Ruki. The hair was dyed in outrageous green and was spiked in some areas which clashed terribly with her similarly gaudy kimono despite this the girl had her arms in akimbo and beamed.

"What?"

*****A few moments earlier*****

Renamon watched Rumiko as she ran down the street with a flimsy umbrella, which Renamon had managed to procure. Rumiko's search was in vain but Renamon said nothing to discourage the distraught woman. Rumiko needed the hope and feel that she was doing something to find Ruki. Not surprisingly no one had seen Ruki around Shinjuku but Renamon expected that. The rain was annoying however and was soaking Renamon's fur but the discomfort of wet fur mattered little to Renamon. She was used to hardship and bore the rain with calm and patience, knowing fully well that it had to end some time.

Rumiko stopped at a corner and asked a man whether he had seen Ruki. Rumiko took out a picture and showed the man but he shook his head. Crushed but yet stubborn Rumiko ran down the street with the umbrella to ask another person. This time a young boy, who shrugged at Rumiko's questions.

"Ruki where are you?" Renamon asked. She then felt something that made her fur stand on end and could have sworn she felt Ruki's mind. It was so far off and distant that Renamon was unsure, all she could tell was that Ruki was in trouble and there was nothing Renamon could do about it.

'Ruki!' Renamon thought and tried to send her thoughts to Ruki but failed miserably. The tenuous connection was lost again and Renamon couldn't feel Ruki's familiar presence. The same strange feeling of emptiness returned after Ruki's soul presence disappeared. Renamon felt strangely cold and lonely but bore the loss quietly. She would find Ruki and that was it but she had to admit it hurt Renamon to a certain extent that there were still some things that Ruki hid away from her. They were partners and yet Ruki still deemed unnecessary to tell Renamon what she was going to do.

A strong wind blew and knocked the umbrella out of Rumiko's hand. It flew up into the air and Renamon jumped up to grab it. After grabbing it she jumped down to the street startling many people who were shocked to see a soaking wet digimon with an umbrella. Renamon frowned when she saw the sorry state that the umbrella was in, the descent down had caused the wind to push upwards on the umbrella and break apart some of the pieces.

"Sorry... Do you want another umbrella?" Renamon asked annoyed with herself but kept it from showing on her face or voice. Rumiko was getting soaked by the rain and hugged herself to keep warm. Renamon looked at Rumiko with concern.

"Yes... Then we can continue to look for Ruki," Rumiko said. Her teeth chattered from the wetness and cold. A little cold was not going to stop Rumiko from looking for her daughter. Renamon looked at Rumiko with concern.

"I think that's enough searching actually... You are going to get sick, we should return home," Renamon said. There was nothing they could both do to look for Ruki. Ruki was too far away and they hadn't a clue where she was.

"Are so willing to abandon her! You're her partner!" Rumiko hissed. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes but Renamon managed to guide Rumiko to a drier spot. People around them ignored the two hoping that the digimon would not notice them or do anything.

Whether it was from the cold or her frustration Renamon didn't quite know but she had never heard Rumiko so dejected and embittered. Renamon understood how she felt but getting ill when they all knew that Ruki was no longer in the city was downright stupid and unnecessary.

"I am well aware I'm her partner, but there is nothing I can do for Ruki right now. And there is nothing right now you can do for her either. She's not in Tokyo anywhere," Renamon explained tersely. Rumiko looked at the raining streets and remained quiet for a moment.

"I don't care. I'm going to look for her," Rumiko stated. Renamon looked at Rumiko in disbelief. Stubbornness seemed to be an innate characteristic within the Makino family. No matter what you do they go off on their own merry little way even if there's a good chance it'll get you killed.

"And Ruki says you can't possible be related to her," Renamon muttered. Rumiko blinked and looked at Renamon curiously. Renamon didn't wait for Rumiko to open her mouth. She grabbed a spare umbrella from a store stall and swept Rumiko off her feet into her arms. She put the umbrella into Rumiko's arms.

"We are returning back... And I don't want to hear any complaints," Renamon continued. She held Rumiko tight and ran into the rain. They headed back home and Renamon made it a point to ignore Rumiko's protests.

"You can't do this! We still haven't checked certain parts of the city! Ruki might have come back!" Rumiko protested. It would have sounded even more convincing if Rumiko didn't cough. The rain splattered against Rumiko and she immediately opened the umbrella to keep dry. The umbrella also covered Renamon's head a bit but didn't do much for the rest of her body. Renamon leapt up into the air and landed on a wall and ran along it to avoid people and traffic.

"She's ... not... here," Renamon said through gritted teeth. Ruki was nowhere near Tokyo, she far away and in danger and there was nothing Renamon could do about it. It tore through her heart like a knife and Renamon felt the knife twist even more with the emptiness she felt. How could Rumiko understand the connection between her and Ruki? The connection that they both possessed and trusted but could not explain. It wasn't simply because they were friends and partners but more. Something so much more that Renamon could only scratch the surface of it all.

The Makino house was only a few more blocks ahead and Renamon could hear the sound of people eating in the dining room. Many people were in dining room and Renamon could sense Guilmon, Terriermon, MarineAngemon and Monodramon's presence in the room. They were getting closer now and with one mighty leap with Rumiko in her arms, Renamon landed in the garden on both her feet.

"Hey! Looks whose back!" Hirokazu called out as he looked out the hallway and saw Rumiko and Renamon trudge in from the rain. Renamon stood in the hallway with her fur sticking all over the place, it was going to take hours to dry her fur out.

"Do you have a hair dryer and towel somewhere?" Renamon asked. She put Rumiko down on to her feet and waited for an answer. Rumiko shivered with the cold and put the umbrella down. They were dripping with water as they stood in the hallway. Seiko appeared with two large towels and a hair dryer in hand.

"Here you go, you two. Get dried up and eat up," Seiko said and looked at her thoroughly miserable daughter. Rumiko was sulking as she accepted the towel to dry off her hair.

"Did you find anything?" Takato asked in a strangely peevish voice. He was busy skewering his food with his chopsticks in a curious manner and looked at it as if blaming it for something. It was highly unusual for Takato to be moping but Renamon decided the best course of action was to let Takato be. Subtlety was something Renamon was good at.

"Ah, just ignore him. He's mad because a brilliant plan of his got trashed," Terriermon said with his mouth full. Obviously however this was hardly the case of certain individuals such as Terriermon. Takato gripped his chopsticks a bit harder and concentrated stabbing his food.

"No, we didn't find anything," Renamon answered, she changed to topic immediately. She picked up a blanket and began to dry herself. Ryou ate his food in silence and watched Monodramon do his traditional blazing fast 'stuffing his face' at dinner mode. It roughly went like this:

See drink. Guzzle drink. See rice. Shovel rice. See fish. Skewer fish. Devour Fish. See food on plate. Skewer food. Shovel food. Steal Ryou's drink. Guzzle stolen drink.

"BURRP!... That was good!" Monodramon proclaimed.

Done.

Ryou sighed and took his cup away from Monodramon to get it refilled with milk. He was glad that there wasn't any alcohol for Monodramon to drink on the table. His father often got quite angry when Monodramon stole his beer and left the table slightly sloshed. Alcohol and Monodramon simply did not mix well.

MarineAngemon stared at Monodramon in slight trepidation. He didn't even see Monodramon chew his food at all.

"Penpa... Pi pape pape?" MarineAngemon asked in his nonsensical language. MarineAngemon looked at Monodramon curiously as he lay on the ground with his arms behind his heads.

"No... That doesn't look safe or normal at all," Kenta answered his partner's question. With the sole exception of Monodramon and Takato, who was far too busy thinking, ate quietly and with less fanfare.

"Come on Takato! Eat. You're a pretty smart guy after all. I'm sure we'll find a way to find Ruki," Jen said in a cheering voice though part him really wanted Takato's plan for tracking to work. The boy didn't mope often but sometimes when things generally decided to become difficult he had tendency of going a little dark before bouncing back. Usually. But things weren't going as usual since their adventure in the Digital world. It never occurred to Jen, until a month after the adventure, how much they really had changed.

Once when Jen had walked through the park he saw a pair of little kids playing. They were battling pretending to be digimon and were playing around with such carefree energy that Jen found himself sick to the pit of his stomach. A sort of reminder that Jen, only a scant year ago, would probably done the same thing without realizing the implication of it all.

"I, the great Leomon, shall defeat you!" A kid in tried to roar but ended coughing for his effort. His other friend frowned as if he had been deprived from choosing a 'cool' digimon to be.

"Oh yeah! Well take this! I am the great Beelzebumon! DEATH SLINGER!" The other boy countered maliciously and pantomimed bringing the gun up to bear. He pointed the imaginary gun and shot a few times at his friend.

"Hey that's not fair! A mega versus an adult? That's hardly fair!" The other complained annoyed. He glared at his friend who simply shrugged.

"Hey life's unfair! Now die!" The boy pulled back his fist and lightly hit the other in the stomach smirking. The other boy pretended to be in excruciating pain and fell to the ground groaning and moaning in a comical manner but Jen wasn't laughing. Jen distinctly remembered standing close by watching the two play and felt numb.

"AHH!! The great Leomon, once again, dies another senselessly useless death! Just like the TV show... Oh the tragedy," the boy said in a pretend voice of exaggerated grief. He stopped rolling on the ground and remained still for a moment. The boy pretending to 'Beelzebumon' tried not laugh out loud and carried on with his lines like an actor trying not to choke on a funny scene.

"I am victorious! I am the most powerful digimon in the Digital World! Nothing can stop me!" The boy raised his arms in victory while his friend stood up and started to laugh. Soon the other one started to laugh and they talked but Jen couldn't hear their conversation. Jen walked away from the two boys, angry, disappointed and other feelings clouded his weary mind. Victory, death and power that was in everything that Jen saw and realized couldn't really avoid. Ignorance is bliss as they say and on that day Jen really wished he hadn't seen those two boys playing in the park. It seemed to cheapen the death of Leomon and the repentance of Impmon in so many ways.

"Hey Jen! Don't space on me!" Terriermon said as he poked his partner out of a daze. Jen was jolted out of his funk and looked down at Terriermon.

"Don't mind me. I guess I'm just thinking about this all a bit too much," Jen said when he looked at Terriermon's baffled face. Takato shifted and stared at his plate thinking.

"... I guess you're right though. I'm completely stumped," Takato said and began to slowly eat the food in front of him. It had gone cold but Takato didn't complain, after all he stabbed at his food when he should have been eating it. The more and more he thought about it, the more and more it seemed necessary to acquire Abaddon's services. It was not a prospect that Takato looked forward to and he inwardly bristle. Just how much information did Abaddon know about the Ruki and them? It seemed quite obvious he knew what was going on.

Renamon during this time had taken the hairdryer and towel and disappeared into thin air to dry off in private. Rumiko walked to her room to get change and Seiko began to eat her dinner. The dinner table began rather deathly silent as they all began to eat again, even Kenta and Hirokazu was silent. Which generally meant something was going to happen. Ruki's D-ark was neatly laying by Jen's side when it went off for no reason. The loud beeps startled Takato who dropped his soup bowl on the table and Jen grabbed Ruki's D-ark to see what was wrong with it.

"What the?!" Jen said startled. In his other hand was a bowl of rice and the other was Ruki's D-ark. The D-ark went into a digimon analyser mode and began to show a fuzzy image of something quite ugly.

The noise brought Renamon into the room who materialized with her fur half dried and mussed up and chaotic. She looked like she had been put through the dry cleaners and sent back half done. Rumiko charged into the dinner room at the sound of the beeping in her bath robe and everyone crowded around Jen. Jen felt crushed at the number people peering over his shoulders and felt the claustrophobia get to him. The image of the ugly digimon caused Jen to shudder for a moment at the sight of the digimon.

It stood on gangly insect legs, thinly muscled and it's body was a bright red color with clawed hands that seemed to drip with green ooze of some sort. The face was no less hideous, sharp fangs and heavy jowl marked it's feature with white eyes that shined with malice. Jen noted that Renamon was in the room with them and his D-ark wasn't going off, which meant only one thing.

"Kumon... Child... Viral... Attack: Sticky Net... Ruki must be fighting this thing!" Jen commented as he looked at the D-ark. A feeling of powerlessness overcame him and he started to feel made that there was nothing that he could do to help Ruki. Renamon felt the same and stretched the range of her connection to sense Ruki's condition. She felt nothing and felt very worried but didn't show it.

"Isn't there something we can do?" Takato asked. He felt angry and powerless. The D-ark blinked out the information and the D-ark stopped beeping. The silence was crushing and Takato's question hung in the air like a miasma. Takato felt like he was failing again, he was failing to keep his friends together and alive. If Ruki was dead right at this moment what would he say to Juri?

Ryou looked at the D-ark and felt his hand finger Ruksasha's business card.

'Now Mr. Akiyama please listen to me for the moment. Though you may not want the information you may want to consider my service in the future. If you need me please rip up the business card and call my name,' Ryou remembered Ruksasha's exact words. There was something they could do but dealing with what seemed like the enemy was something that Ryou would like to avoid but what choice did they have? A digimon attacking Ruki without Renamon equalled one dead Tamer.

"Maybe the digimon isn't attacking her. There's an off chance that the digimon is peaceful," Takato said trying to grasp at straws to calm himself. Ryou looked at Takato with a sad look.

"If it's a newly bio-emerged digimon I highly doubt that it's going to be friendly..." Ryou commented and debated what to do.

"So all we can do is sat on our fanny and hope, in a million to one chance, that Ruki can beat the crap out of this digimon or do a marginally intelligent move and run away?" Hirokazu said hotly. He did not like where this conversation was heading at all.

"... We could hire Devil's Advocate Unlimited to do some work!" Kenta suggested. MarineAngemon flitted here and there in agitation.

"... That or leave Ruki be..." Renamon said in a voice. She sank down to her knees and concentrated on her connection with Ruki to try and discern what was going on. A sharp pain and an image of whistling claws over Ruki's head was sensed and then Renamon could see and feel no more. Renamon grimaced at the pain and frowned. The look of alarm was noticed by Ryou.

"What's wrong?" Ryou asked.

"Ruki's been hurt a bit... She's being attacked..." Renamon said. Frustration spilled and she felt like shouting at Ruki to runaway from the battle but knew it was futile.

Dinner was disrupted. Scattered remnants of forgotten food and drink were spilled over the table carelessly by the movement of the diners. People began to argue and shout at each other taking sides of two choices, peace had been broken and they began to get angry. Seiko sat at the table listening into the conversation and stared at the lacquered wood box that she had given to Ruki. Seiko hands trembled ever so slightly at the dire news that she heard and opened the box to see it's content. A small black journal was laying neatly in a corner of the box and Seiko reached over to open it. It landed a single page where a essay was written by Ruki's hands in black ink. She read it with interest trying to drown out the arguing of the others. Perhaps in this book was a small morsel of sanity and calm in the Makino family.

Guilt...

'What is your existence worth? And if it is worthless, why are you here? Your guilt, I see, causes you to tarry in your existence. With your death you have to expiate it.'

Heracleitus successfully overcame this guilt by denying absolute "being" in favor of an eternal "becoming."

While "life itself is essentially appropriation, injury, overpowering of what is alien and weaker, suppression, hardness, imposition of one's own forms, incorporation and at least, at its mildest, exploitation". Morality and society demand the suppression of this nature, thus creating guilt, the sense that one's natural state of becoming (which wills these things) is "evil." How can one "deal" with this guilt? The history of humanity can be described as a chronicle of the various answers to that question: putting out one's eyes and wandering blindly from Thebes, philosophy, Hell, dying on the cross, confession, penance, self-flagellation, purgatory, the "justice" system, psychotherapy, even revenge. All of these are attempts to reconcile human nature with the moral and social restrictions placed upon it.

The answer to this dilemma is to propose that "life" is fundamentally beyond good and evil. Moral interpretations are always secondary. What one must do is to completely embrace life in its becoming, and this means all of life, beautiful and ugly alike--love and hate, affection and violence, kindness and injury. All of these are manifestations of the will to power, which is life itself.

Life simply is will to power.

Embracing rather than negating life (as society and morality seek to do) is the key to ending the spirit of revenge (resentment) created by guilt.

The choice for is very simple. Negating life, saying "no" to instinct and the will to power, leads to guilt, the lessening of humanity, and nihilism. Saying "yes" to the will to power is better, even if it means embracing various becomings that we have been socially and morally trained to read as "negative." What haunts humanity is its hatred of itself, and it is this "guilt" which, more than anything else, must be overcome.

Seiko blinked at the complicated essay written within the journal. At the very bottom written in ink that was blue and newer than the faded black was a quote. It looked like was hastily scrawled at the bottom of the essay like an afterthought of much searching and realization. It was made a year ago when Ruki was still itinerant Tamer who stalked the streets of Shinjuku looking for fights.

'Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.'
May 1, 2004.

Seiko couldn't read any more to the journal and shut it closed. The others were still arguing and Seiko simply got up.

"Will everyone, just SHUT UP!!!" Seiko said at the arguing mass of people in front of her. They all stopped arguing and became quiet. Rumiko looked at her mother who was now deadly calm and to the point. It was first time Seiko had to shout in a very long time and it felt like a long await relief.

"There is only two choices here... You either get Abaddon's help or do nothing and try it on your own... Now what's going to be your choice?" Seiko asked pointedly.

*****

It became quite obvious that fanatics were not very big when it came to greeting unexpected guests. Then again breaking into their temple without anyone knowing it and then demanding to see Yllas generally had that effect on the cultists. Luckily the cult had once perused the services of Devils Advocate Unlimited once and found it satisfactory. Ruksasha sighed as he waited in a stone carved room supported by a overly strong buttress which had detailed, a bit too detailed for Ruksasha's taste, of various sacrifices. The horrifying and realistic image of Yllas eating the souls of 'ascended' ones unsettled his stomach when noticed that the most recent carvings held Sen's mother's face on it.

'I hate this... But I volunteered so I shouldn't complain," Ruksasha thought to himself. He waited for a few more moments until a heavy set of double doors opened noiselessly and revealed a robed figure with a wooden mask. It didn't take much effort for Ruksasha to realize that it was human in the garb of Yllas Chosen Children.

"Enter the terrible gaze of Yllas, heathen. Our master deems it worthy to see you after all..." The cultist said in a sneering voice and awe. Ruksasha probably imagined that the cultist probably never seen his 'master' before and was awed that heathen was allowed to see the 'master' and not him. Ruksasha cautiously walked towards the door with his senses stretched to the max on the look out for nasty surprises and attacks but he sensed nothing. Paranoia was however a good point in the mind of Ruksasha and he spent extra time observing the physical habit of the obviously impatient cultist. The way he tapped his feet and clenched his fist and jaw. Yup, this cultist is pretty pissed off that the heathen gets to see the 'master' yet he is unworthy to gaze upon such 'perfection'. Ruksasha killed the urge to laugh and past the doors into another room.

The room was a small room with eight cultists, both human and digimon, who were praying and meditating.

"Yllas ak narb illas! Torng buin gehanna," the cultists droned in different accents and pronunciations. It was obvious that this was a small cell that hadn't really been recruiting for more devotees.

'Not surprising seeing that Yllas's teachings usually drive the people insane or kills them in the first place,' Ruksasha thought to himself as he walked into the room and towards another door at the end of the room in front of the cultists. Without waiting Ruksasha threw open the doors, startling the cultists who hissed with disbelief at the sacrilege the heathen was performing. How dare he entire the gaze of the Yllas without the proper ceremony and sacrifice? Ruksasha ignored the glares of the others and entered the room before the doors slam shut. He was completely alone in the darkness of the room but in front of him a blue flame that flickered. The flame itself light nothing in the room and made everything around Ruksasha pitch black.

"Who dares enters the munificent sight of Yllas? Behold Yllas's terrible being and tremble!" A booming voice asked, it seemed to echo in the room and Ruksasha felt completely unimpressed.

'I wonder if Yllas is possible related to Zhuqiaomon? Because that's the exact same thing he told Sen and me when we made a deal to help get through the digital impasse net,' Ruksasha wondered and gave up. He just needed to ignore the fact that Yllas always spoke in third person.

"It is Ruksasha... It has been three years since we've met," Ruksasha said politely. It was bet to get this done quickly but Ruksasha preferred to draw out the conversation to see how his clients answered and reacted.

"... Ah yes... Yllas remembers you well. The heathen Ruksashamon, who offered his services to Yllas's cause," the blue flame mused.

"... For a price, if you remember that and I am called Ruksasha...," Ruksasha answered. He really hated when people insisted on calling him Ruksashamon. He was not data; he was real and living. He would become an 'ascended' like Sen as soon as he found out how. Then he would become a true Ruksasha and no one could deny his existence and try to delete him with a paltry program.

"Silence! I have no demand of your services heathen! You are beneath Yllas's notice," the blue flame arrogantly and flared a bit.

"I see... Though it seems that you're servants are failing to get any information on the Tamers. They're quite a strong bunch, heard that they all Matrix digivolved as one being with their digimon and became as powerful as an Ultimate if not a little more so...." Ruksasha let his announcement hang in the air as he reached for a cigar. There were some benefits of being data he had to admit. He was addicted to nicotine but it didn't give any sort of health problems from chain-smoking cigars. With a casual flick of his wrist Ruksasha got out his silver lighter and lit his cigar for a smoke.

Yllas remained silent as if pondering whether to blast Ruksasha away for his impertinence or consider the implications of Ruksasha's information. The embers from Ruksasha's cigar glowed in the darkness like a red hot coal and the smoke idly curled in the air.

"What do you want?" Yllas demanded. Ruksasha could only smile innocently and look at the blue flame directly.

"I've told you before and I'll tell you again... It's not what I want... It's what you want."