Disclaimer: I don't own HP or any of these characters. That belongs to JKR, Scholastic Books, Warner Brothers, etc.
She had kissed him.
He still couldn't quite believe it was true. After she had fled, he took her seat and touched his hand to his lips, as if to ponder what had just transpired.
She had kissed him.
He hadn't expected that.
Hermione, after all, was his friend and nothing more. She was his very good friend and he liked her very much but he didn't like her in that way. And he hoped that she didn't like him like that or expect him to like her like that because that would only be the start of a big mess. He reminded himself that Hermione knew that they were only friends. Of course, she wouldn't like him like that.
That made him wonder why she did it. He had never, in a thousand years, imagined Hermione would kiss him. Well, if he thought about it, Hermione had kissed him before, though only on the cheek – and that was how it should be, although it felt very sweet. He wondered if perhaps whatever had been bothering Hermione for the past week had been the reason why she kissed him. Certainly she had not been acting like herself since that day in Transfiguration. Perhaps she was under a spell or some foul potion that made her kiss him.
And then a small voice at the back of his brain asked, Are you an idiot or what? She kissed you because she likes you.
He wanted to refute that, to say it wasn't true. Yet there was something inexorable about that idea and he thought it was right.
Hermione had kissed him because she liked him.
That was completely wrong. There was nothing right about it. Hermione shouldn't like him like that. They were friends. They were friends and only that. She was supposed to have understood that. And besides, someone like Hermione shouldn't fall for someone like him. She deserved someone who had more of an idea of what he wanted to do in life, not someone like him who simply wanted to live to see the next day. She deserved someone who would be happy to spend all his time in the library with her, and not someone like him who would much rather be outside. She wasn't supposed to like him and she definitely wasn't supposed to kiss him.
The whole situation made him sad. He hadn't asked for any of this. He didn't want to be the one to break his best friend's heart. Yet he couldn't lie to her and say that he liked her like that too. That wouldn't be true. He liked Cho, not Hermione. Cho was more his sort of girl than Hermione could ever be. Cho was pretty and smart and liked Quidditch too. Hermione – well, Hermione was definitely smart and sometimes she could be pretty, but they really didn't have anything in common except that they were friends. He hoped that Hermione didn't think that he liked her because that couldn't be true.
She tasted like vanilla and tea, he thought suddenly.
She tasted like vanilla and tea – not a combination he had every day, but it was something he liked all the same. She tasted smooth and sweet, just like vanilla did. She tasted mellow, with a slight bite, just like tea did. He began to run down just what variety of tea she tasted liked – but he couldn't quite place just what she had exactly tasted like. That thought began to run through his mind and refused to let him rest. He desperately wished to kiss her again so he could solve this puzzle that had been presented to him.
That would not go down well. He didn't even want to think what Hermione's reaction would be if he said to her, "I don't like you, Hermione, but can we snog some more?"
He blushed and felt the heat rise to his cheeks as he realized he was thinking of snogging his best friend. He would have never thought of kissing her if she hadn't kissed him but now that it had happened, he couldn't let go of the idea. Of course, he didn't like her – that was a given – but he just wanted to kiss her to be able to say just exactly what flavor she reminded him of. That wasn't an option open to him because they were just friends but he longed to do so anyway.
He didn't want to think on how it would be someone else who discovered just exactly what Hermione tasted like.
It occurred to him that perhaps there was someone in the world that already knew that information. Perhaps Hermione had kissed Viktor Krum before and long enough for him to put a name to her sweetness. That made him feel rather queasy. The thought of Hermione kissing someone else – wasn't right and it made him feel sick. He didn't know why it felt wrong to him when all they would ever be was friends but it felt wrong all the same. He reasoned to himself it was simply because he had yet to meet anyone who deserved Hermione through and through.
Then he remembered Krum and how Krum was always in the library where Hermione was and how Krum almost worshipped the ground that she walked on. Perhaps she had already found her perfect man.
That made him see red and ask why she would play with him like that. Was she trying to see how he matched up with Krum when it came to kisses? Did she have some other, hidden reason to kiss him like that, out of the blue? It made him want to cry to think that she had been only using him for some purpose or another. Fortunately, his heart spoke up and reminded his head – that Hermione would never do that to someone who was her friend.
And they were friends.
So she wouldn't kiss him just to compare and so she most likely kissed him because she liked him but if she liked him, then they weren't exactly friends, although just because she liked him didn't mean that he liked her like that so maybe they were just friends. But he was only confusing himself by thinking thoughts like that. He decided to stop wondering why she had kissed him. It hurt too much to think on that.
Instead, he started to wonder why she had fled. She had literally bolted out of the library, without sparing a glance for him. At the time, he was too stunned to do anything but now that he had resolved not to think of that kiss – though he couldn't quite stop thinking of how he would like to kiss her again – he was free to ponder why she had felt it so necessary to escape. He didn't think that she would think that he would be angry with her. Just because he didn't return her feelings – and he didn't, not one bit, he just wanted to kiss her and be with her more than anything else – that didn't mean he would be upset. He was rather honored that she liked him like that and he only wished he could like her too.
He liked her too.
He liked Hermione like that too.
That was incredible. That was unbelievable. He couldn't believe that he liked Hermione, of all people. He liked Cho, not Hermione. But if he closed his eyes and thought of who he wanted to see the most when he opened them again—
He wanted to see Hermione, always and ever by his side.
He didn't know quite what to think of that kiss, of what she felt for him, or of what he felt for her but there was one thing he knew right now beyond a doubt. He really needed to see her right now.
Harry left the library to go in search of her.
Author's note: As always, reviews would much much appreciated. Thanks.
Stoneheart: In regards to what you said about Never My Love, tis good that the last part reminded you of that song since that was the song that inspired the fic. Anyway, I'm glad to know that you seem to be enjoying this fic as well. :) As always, thanks for reviewing.
Animagus-Steph: Please don't ever worry about bringing up any criticisms of my fics -- that's perfectly fine with me. Your criticism is always constructive since you always tell me specifically what you think is wrong rather than just telling me to check my 'grammer' (and yes, I've got reviews like that before) -- and I really do appreciate the time you take in pointing such things out to me. Finally, yes there are quite a few run-on sentences in this fic and that's completely intentional. For some reason, I don't think that people are too concerned with using perfect grammar when they're thinking and so Harry and Hermione's thoughts reflect that. I also think that a person can get hung up over one word and therefore, can't stop thinking about it -- and that's why Harry tends to repeat himself in this chapter. I'm not entirely sure that it works. It works for me, at least, and I hope it'll work in general as well. Thanks so very much for reviewing.
Finally, thanks to everyone else who left a review on
the last two chapters. Honto ni arigatou gozaimasu!