Disclaimer: This is tiresome, everybody already knows that I don't own DA or its characters.
Summary: After the events in "Hello/Goodbye", Max's wish is granted and she gets to taste life without Logan.
Rating: PG-13
A/N: Okay so on with my torture, here's chapter 3, I hope everyone is enjoying it, send me reviews so I can know what u people think about it, I can assure you that I read every single one of them and take all in acount.
Chapter 3: Cruel Reality
*****
Max is sitting on the floor of Logan's penthouse apartment, in the door of his computer room, sobbing frenetically and uncontrollably. In front of her is a computer chair, in it...a dead body. The body is slumped over the chair, almost falling off, dressed in boxers shorts, which reveals the lack of a exoeskeleton, and a crumped white shirt, dirty and stinking. In the right hand a .44 magnum revolver, not the same gun Logan used to have but a higher caliber one, in the left hand some kind of paper, but the most visible horrenduous thing is the face, completely blown off, his amazing blue orbs are gone, no more light shining in its depths, no more ocean pools full of feelings and sentiments....no more life.
After what felt like hours of crying and screaming - "NO LOGAN!!NO, IT CAN'T BE, I DON'T BELIEVE IT!! PLEASE NOT THIS, IT'S NOT TRUE, PLEASE!!!LOGAN, NO!!!!" - Max finally quieted down, her closed eyes swollen and her face red and tearstained, her body drained of all the energy, it flowed with her tears. Max dizzily stands up, using the wall to help, she slowly opens her eyes, seeing this morbid scene she immediately turns around bringing her hand to her mouth and letting a sob escape. After a few moments she finally gets the courage and turns around, kneeling down in front of the computer chair Max analyzes her surroundings, realizing the paper in his hands she hesitantly gets it, she examines it and see that it's a picture, a picture of her, it's a picture taken on Bennet's weeding, Max is wearing that wonderful dress, standing next to Logan, one hand on his shoulders and a smile playing on her lips, their eyes locked exchanging thousands words and feelings, truths not ready to be told and reality fiercely denied, the picture must have been took from one of the photographers and Logan must have acquired it seeing how Max had no idea of its existance. There's a folded paper attached to the picture, Max unfoldes it and see that it's a message written on Logan's handwriting.
Dear Max,
I believe, or at least hope, that you will be the one that finds me, and this letter, first. I have so much to say, things that can't even be put into words, things that are supposed to be said face to face. But there's a few things that I will say here anyway, first of all...I love you, I have always loved you and have been falling deeper and deeper every single moment I spend with you, I would do anything and everything if it brought us together, I never gave up on you, on us, even after all the dark and rough paths we crossed. I must confess that I didn't believe you could ever get to love me the way I am...a cripple, I have always tried hard to find a way to stand once again, I was delusional, thinking my legs were the most important thing I had, when in reality my most precious thing is you, I had to lose you for months to finally realize that. When you got back I thought you would be finally able to confess things we should have said ages before, but just as quickly as I got you I lost you, again. I thought we would stick together, and together overcome this virus just like we did with plenty of other obstacles, but you were different, you were different than the Max I met and knew for a yeat, the Max I learned to admire, the Max I falled for. You gave up easily, you broke my heart, hurt my feelings over and over again. I always wondered what happened to the Max I knew, I hoped that you would come back to your old self, but it didn't happened, after this last week you finally convinced me that your love for me, if such thing ever existed, extinguished....
And I also want to tell you that...I am sorry. I am sorry for giving up, I am sorry for all the time we lost dancing around each other, I am sorry for the times I pushed you because of my thick head and ego, I am sorry for being so chicken that I have to express these so highly important feelings to you written on a piece of paper, but I was never good at opening myself for someone, at bearing my hear and emotions. I am sorry we couldn't work out and finally I am sorry for doing what I am about to do, but there's nothing left for me to live for, after all I was already dead, I died when you dropped that bomb in me, I lived through a week like a zombie, I was a lifeless shell, without feelings and emotions, but now I am going to end my mysere. I'm sorry Max, don't you ever forget that even after everything, I still love you...I died loving you.
Forever Yours
Logan Cale
By the end of the letter tears are flowing freely through Max's face, she crumples the letter and stuff it in her pocket with the picture, as she tries to get up she stumbles in something and falls flat on her back, she looks at the object and sees a shining beautiful statue, the Bast, she slowly and hesitatly gets it and place it in her pocket, gets up and leaves the penthouse. Outside she looks back and up to his apartment once again and feels tears building all over again, memories flash through her mind at light speed, touches, looks, conversations, every single thing she exchanged with Logan, every single minute she spent with him, she replayed through her mind with perfect clarity. She hits the gas of her bike and flies through the streets of Seattle, that now somehow looks darker and lonelier than before.
Max parks her Ninja at the base of the Space Needle an in no time she is on the top, sitting at the edge reflecting about the past events.
//The ground looks so tempting from up here right now, I wonder if I shouldn't just forget it all and go join him, maybe on the otherside we will finally have the moment we so long wanted and waited, maybe there I will have another chance to fix the wrongs I did, to make up to him for everything I did. In the end that dream was really some kind of premonition, a way that the cruel reality and deadly truths found to come back bite me in the ass, I was really the one that killed Logan even if I wasn't the one that pulled the trigger, I stayed away from him to avoid hurting him but I did just that staying away, lying and pushing him away just did the exact same thing I was trying to avoid. The worst thing is that he died without knowing how much I always loved him, how he was the one person that mattered the most to me, how I wasn't telling the truth about Alec, he never knew, and I won't have peace from now on. Ah, the irony, I did every possible thing to push him away, and now I did it...\\. The stress from the day finally catchs up with Max and she lies down to enter a dreamless slumber, without notcing or feeling the tall figurine watching her from far away...
TBC...
*****
OBS: // \\ means Max's thoughts.
OBS2: A lot of people must be hating me now, but please keep reading it, it's not and never will be M/A or anything else besides M/L, read it 'till the end I beg. And I appreciate and thanks all the great feedback I am getting, as long as I see people are enjoying I will post the chapters as fast as humanly possible, but if people don't review it will take more time, I won't stop posting 'cause I don't like unfinished bussiness and I won't leave people hanging even if they are few.