Title: Scabbers the Malicious: Secret Ambitions and the Great Halloween
Extravaganza
Authors: the immortal Choka (SCAD Bat and wacky Scabbers fan!) and Jessiboo, famous the world round for her Supah Powahs of Losing Stuzzuff
Notes: Although we *do* own Harry Potter plushies and Draco bedsheets, we do not own any copyrights and would not appreciate being sued for our lovely little fanfic attempts. By the way, I suppose this story would classify as Draco x Harry slazzash, but really it is too much insanity to consider itself so o-O Just a warning: sailor suits ahead. Sailor suits without *consent* (bad snape!)
Chapter 1- And the Slap goes Down
It was a cold morning in late October, and blast it all but Harry had forgotten to wear his under-knickers. He sat looking out at the bleak northern skyline, huddling close in his robes, waiting for the sun to peek through the clouds and announce the coming of daylight, and finally Quiddich practice.
When you are not wearing under-knickers even a brief moment in the cold morning air can feel like a lifetime, so Harry was quite surprised to see his teammates appear on the field. Hopefully he thought, the flying would warm him up. And with that thought in mind he jumped to his feet and raced to his red headed friend's side.
"My goodness, Ron, whatever are you doing here this early," he gushed. Ron lifted one eyebrow suspiciously and said, "Crikey toad in 'e 'ole, Harry, where have you been? I'm on this team wot!" replied the injured teen. Harry tilted his head. "Oh right concessions manager! I am sorry, you see, I've forgotten my under-" His thought was interrupted by a sinister voice that seemed to come from nowhere.
Startled the two lads looked around quickly, but Harry could see no one. "Ron, who do you suppose could be speaking to use in such a sinister manner?" Looking at his naive friend Ron sighed, sometimes it seemed to the fiery haired boy that Harry was a little TOO oblivious. "Harry! Jumpin' lizards mate!! Malfoy's right o'er there!"
Indeed he was. and he was holding an equally looking sinister brown rat whose name no one shall ever mention without anguish, and which rhymes with "flabbers." Draco Malfoy sauntered up to his evah-so-famous rival and bitch slapped him. "That's for tricking me and making me think we could be friends, Pottah," he sneered.
Harry looked shocked, what could he have done to deserve that?! Starting to get angry he stood up, "Malfoy, what are you talking about?" This, however; only caused Draco to become even more furious. But before he could do anything else he found himself face to face with a very angry Ron Weasley. And where there is one angry Weasley there are hordes. "Now you listen to me Malfoy! If there is to be any Harry slapping it will be done by me and me alone!"
To give evidence to this proclamation he reached back and smacked Harry a nice one right on the cheek. "Do you see? I think I've made my point." Harry felt the tears streaming down and whimpered a little bit. "Why are you two being so wretchedly awful to me? All I wanted to do was be friendly and save the world and be loved by all." Draco stomped his finely tailored feet. "Well, since you demand to know, Pottah, it has to do with the Famous Annual Hogwarts Halloween Party Extravaganza."
The two Gryffindors looked askance at that. What could Malfoy possible have to do with annual Halloween extravaganza?! Thinking about it Harry decided it was probably something evil that he needed to know about, but given the tendency of his current company to slap him he decided to stay quiet. This however lead to a full three minutes of silence before Ron took the cue and started to speak, "Get on with it then!" then "and stop staring at Harry like that!"
"Well I think you all know that Scabbers here is psychic." Draco began. At the empty stares he received he decided perhaps this knowledge was not quite as common as he had believed. He opened his mouth to speak again when Ron interjected. "That's my rat!!!" he shouted. Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Do you really think every rat out there named Scabbers belongs to you, Weasley?" he drawled. Supposing not, Ron glared and kept quiet. "Well, a week ago Scabbers had a premonition." he continued.
Harry decided that he had to jump into the conversation now, "How does a *rat* tell you about his visions?" Then struck by a completely inappropriate thought Harry began to giggle, "Are you a rattongue then? Like I'm a parselmouth?" This struck everyone as funny, except for Draco who felt a little dirty, and Scabbers of course. Two resounding slaps later Draco felt much better, of course then Weasley had to go and screw it up by muttering "dammitt, Draco I'm not your bitch....". Which of course just served to make draco feel even dirtier than before.........
"Damn you muggle-lovahs, I'm tired of your mind games!" he ejaculated. "It just so happens that Scabbahs and I have a very intimate relationshop which you could not fathom if you burst your adorable little heads trying to figure it out!" He slapped his hand over his mouth. Could he have just said that?! Was he. gay?! He slapped Harry to see.
After his third slap in less than 10 minutes Harry realized that maybe he was enjoying all the attention, and that realistically he was most probably gay. Meanwhile Draco was staring at his hand in morbid fascination......
"Holy Merlin." he cooed. "This. is the most beautiful hand I have ever seen." He had looked at his hand before, but never truly *seen* it, truth be told. But he now realized that he had a hand the likes of which the world had never seen, and that he had the makings of being one of the few great hand models of the wizarding world. He rushed off to preserve his perfection, accidentally dropping the confused Scabbers to the ground.
Scabbers, momentarily confused by the long fall, was quickly snatched up by a very agitated Ron. Ron, used to slapping and not being slapped (unless it was by Hermoine and then it was quite understandable) was rather upset at this new turn of events. However, agitated or not, he was not one to lose the chance of having a psychic rat to call his own.
"I'll figure out this one, by jove" he assured his red-faced chum as they walked towards the Quiddich field. "That buggery ol' Malfoy won't have the best of us yet!" He stared at the rat's pointy, wizened face and spoke slowly. "Tell us. the secret. of the Famous Annual Hogwarts Halloween Party Extravaganza." The rat began to speak. "You squee, the parteeee is going to beeee."
Meanwhile Draco was wandering back to his rooms turning his hand this way and that, marveling at its beauty. However as he got closer and closer to his destination, and further and further into the dungeons he began to wonder why Hogwarts was so deserted. Oh he thought, everyone went to Hogsmeade this morning! But he realized as he turned the corner, not *everyone* had gone because standing in the shadows, doing some serious snogging was Professor Snape and........
~end of chapter 1~
Authors: the immortal Choka (SCAD Bat and wacky Scabbers fan!) and Jessiboo, famous the world round for her Supah Powahs of Losing Stuzzuff
Notes: Although we *do* own Harry Potter plushies and Draco bedsheets, we do not own any copyrights and would not appreciate being sued for our lovely little fanfic attempts. By the way, I suppose this story would classify as Draco x Harry slazzash, but really it is too much insanity to consider itself so o-O Just a warning: sailor suits ahead. Sailor suits without *consent* (bad snape!)
Chapter 1- And the Slap goes Down
It was a cold morning in late October, and blast it all but Harry had forgotten to wear his under-knickers. He sat looking out at the bleak northern skyline, huddling close in his robes, waiting for the sun to peek through the clouds and announce the coming of daylight, and finally Quiddich practice.
When you are not wearing under-knickers even a brief moment in the cold morning air can feel like a lifetime, so Harry was quite surprised to see his teammates appear on the field. Hopefully he thought, the flying would warm him up. And with that thought in mind he jumped to his feet and raced to his red headed friend's side.
"My goodness, Ron, whatever are you doing here this early," he gushed. Ron lifted one eyebrow suspiciously and said, "Crikey toad in 'e 'ole, Harry, where have you been? I'm on this team wot!" replied the injured teen. Harry tilted his head. "Oh right concessions manager! I am sorry, you see, I've forgotten my under-" His thought was interrupted by a sinister voice that seemed to come from nowhere.
Startled the two lads looked around quickly, but Harry could see no one. "Ron, who do you suppose could be speaking to use in such a sinister manner?" Looking at his naive friend Ron sighed, sometimes it seemed to the fiery haired boy that Harry was a little TOO oblivious. "Harry! Jumpin' lizards mate!! Malfoy's right o'er there!"
Indeed he was. and he was holding an equally looking sinister brown rat whose name no one shall ever mention without anguish, and which rhymes with "flabbers." Draco Malfoy sauntered up to his evah-so-famous rival and bitch slapped him. "That's for tricking me and making me think we could be friends, Pottah," he sneered.
Harry looked shocked, what could he have done to deserve that?! Starting to get angry he stood up, "Malfoy, what are you talking about?" This, however; only caused Draco to become even more furious. But before he could do anything else he found himself face to face with a very angry Ron Weasley. And where there is one angry Weasley there are hordes. "Now you listen to me Malfoy! If there is to be any Harry slapping it will be done by me and me alone!"
To give evidence to this proclamation he reached back and smacked Harry a nice one right on the cheek. "Do you see? I think I've made my point." Harry felt the tears streaming down and whimpered a little bit. "Why are you two being so wretchedly awful to me? All I wanted to do was be friendly and save the world and be loved by all." Draco stomped his finely tailored feet. "Well, since you demand to know, Pottah, it has to do with the Famous Annual Hogwarts Halloween Party Extravaganza."
The two Gryffindors looked askance at that. What could Malfoy possible have to do with annual Halloween extravaganza?! Thinking about it Harry decided it was probably something evil that he needed to know about, but given the tendency of his current company to slap him he decided to stay quiet. This however lead to a full three minutes of silence before Ron took the cue and started to speak, "Get on with it then!" then "and stop staring at Harry like that!"
"Well I think you all know that Scabbers here is psychic." Draco began. At the empty stares he received he decided perhaps this knowledge was not quite as common as he had believed. He opened his mouth to speak again when Ron interjected. "That's my rat!!!" he shouted. Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Do you really think every rat out there named Scabbers belongs to you, Weasley?" he drawled. Supposing not, Ron glared and kept quiet. "Well, a week ago Scabbers had a premonition." he continued.
Harry decided that he had to jump into the conversation now, "How does a *rat* tell you about his visions?" Then struck by a completely inappropriate thought Harry began to giggle, "Are you a rattongue then? Like I'm a parselmouth?" This struck everyone as funny, except for Draco who felt a little dirty, and Scabbers of course. Two resounding slaps later Draco felt much better, of course then Weasley had to go and screw it up by muttering "dammitt, Draco I'm not your bitch....". Which of course just served to make draco feel even dirtier than before.........
"Damn you muggle-lovahs, I'm tired of your mind games!" he ejaculated. "It just so happens that Scabbahs and I have a very intimate relationshop which you could not fathom if you burst your adorable little heads trying to figure it out!" He slapped his hand over his mouth. Could he have just said that?! Was he. gay?! He slapped Harry to see.
After his third slap in less than 10 minutes Harry realized that maybe he was enjoying all the attention, and that realistically he was most probably gay. Meanwhile Draco was staring at his hand in morbid fascination......
"Holy Merlin." he cooed. "This. is the most beautiful hand I have ever seen." He had looked at his hand before, but never truly *seen* it, truth be told. But he now realized that he had a hand the likes of which the world had never seen, and that he had the makings of being one of the few great hand models of the wizarding world. He rushed off to preserve his perfection, accidentally dropping the confused Scabbers to the ground.
Scabbers, momentarily confused by the long fall, was quickly snatched up by a very agitated Ron. Ron, used to slapping and not being slapped (unless it was by Hermoine and then it was quite understandable) was rather upset at this new turn of events. However, agitated or not, he was not one to lose the chance of having a psychic rat to call his own.
"I'll figure out this one, by jove" he assured his red-faced chum as they walked towards the Quiddich field. "That buggery ol' Malfoy won't have the best of us yet!" He stared at the rat's pointy, wizened face and spoke slowly. "Tell us. the secret. of the Famous Annual Hogwarts Halloween Party Extravaganza." The rat began to speak. "You squee, the parteeee is going to beeee."
Meanwhile Draco was wandering back to his rooms turning his hand this way and that, marveling at its beauty. However as he got closer and closer to his destination, and further and further into the dungeons he began to wonder why Hogwarts was so deserted. Oh he thought, everyone went to Hogsmeade this morning! But he realized as he turned the corner, not *everyone* had gone because standing in the shadows, doing some serious snogging was Professor Snape and........
~end of chapter 1~