Attack Of The Lumbering Idium Murderer (LIN)
A/N: This was written by KT, but posted by Steph; cause KT's a lazy ass. I, Steph, do not have a chapter to contribute, because I am also a lazy ass.
KT and Stephanie were slouching around watching old crap on TV. Stephanie was eating candyfloss and KT was pouring milk all over the floors. They didn't notice Prue approach cautiously.
"Uh, guys?" Prue asked tentatively.
Suddenly, KT and Stephanie's vision went black and white.
"What do you want?" Stephanie snapped and turned to face her. Then she screamed.
This got KT's attention and she too glanced up at Prue. And also began to scream.
"What ARE you?" KT yelled, her voice clearly conveying her fear. "You're not Prue!"
The woman looked at them both as if they were retards. "Uh, duh! Prue's dead. I'm Paige!"
Stephanie and KT glanced at each other and both jumped out the window. BAM! Phoebe walked in and looked at Prue. "What's eating them?" she asked.
"I dunno," Prue replied, "They saw me and started screaming! I'm actually pretty hurt. What're you smirking at?" she backhanded Phoebe quickly.
"Just that, oh, I've been practising my powers - I can now project my prems onto other people!"
"Prems?" Prue glared disdainfully and began to kick Phoebe. "So what did they see? I mean, they were looking at me but if they were having a premonition at the same time then..."
"Well, this is just a guess, but maybe they saw the future where you've died and have been replaced by our baby sister we never knew we had," she paused for effect, "until now."
"Shut up, Phoebe."
*
Outside, KT and Stephanie were picking themselves up off the young warlock they'd landed on.
"How rude," he commented and stared at them. "Were you two just... in the f*ck off pink manor?"
KT frowned. "Manor?" she echoed, "Man-shun. It's a mansion. F*ck off pink manor sounds stoopid!"
Stephanie nodded in agreement. Then she did a little jig for no real reason. She stared off into the distance for a long long time.
"Oookay," KT said and turned to the warlock. "So who are you, bitch?"
He slapped her. "I'm Olly."
"Nice name..." KT commented. "And what are you doing here?"
Olly proceeded to inform KT that he was spying on the Charmed Ones. And had been for several years- eh, months-eh, days. He had the hugest crush on Piper.
"You do know she's married, right?" KT asked sceptically. "And she's gonna have a bab-" She was silenced by the Queen herself leaning out the window and clamping a hand over KT's mouth.
"Spoiler alert," Piper growled, "Shut up."
With a strange look at Olly, Piper let go of KT and disappeared back through the window. Olly gaped.
"Wowo!" he exclaimed, "She just touched you!"
KT's face scrunched up. "Ew, I know. I'll never be clean." She glanced at Steph who was still staring into space. "So you want to meet her?"
"Do I?" Olly repeated enthusiastically.
"That's what I asked..." KT said, her tone of voice clearly indicating she thought Olly was strange. Or she was thinking about other things. Like 'lyssie' and how ew she was. "So do you? Do you wanna meet Piper-"
"Get out of the milk!" Stephanie suddenly screamed.
KT and Olly yelled in fear and jumped into the air. Stephanie ran around in circles screeching and flapping her arms. Upon realising there was no milk to get out of, KT turned to the flailing
Steph and slapped her. She fell over.
"BAM!" KT said.
"Bitch went dahn!" Olly finished.
Astonished, the two demon buddies turned to stare at Olly. "What did you just say?" Stephanie asked, eyeing him curiously.
"Well I HAVE been watching you all for years-months-days. I picked up on the weird ways you two talk. You munky lubbers."
"I see..." KT mused.
"It's more than I do!" Prue yelled from inside. Then Astral Prue was beside them. KT and
Stephanie immediately fell to their knees at her feet. Olly looked on, confused.
Stephanie kicked him from her place on the grass. "Bow you p'idium!"
"Why?" he queried. Big mistake.
"She's God, doofus!" KT replied before yelping as Astral Prue employed her wrath.
"Repent!" Astral Prue roared at Olly, and TK'd him into the next door's skylight. Unfortunatly
for Olly, the next door neighbours included none other than a certain woman who was very rounded at the edges. She wore an apron round the clock, and carried with her a rolling pin, dubbed "The Rolling Pin of Death" which she used to bludgeon nasty little people who bad mouthed her daughter. And she'd been hearing rumours Olly was one of those nasty little people. She was the original Lumbering Idium Murderer, or LIN as she was called by all who feared her.
All they heard for a long time were screams of agony coming from next door. And someone singing "Light and love!" as they beat someone to death.
AP (Astral Prue) disappeared and KT and Stephanie got up.
"KT?" Steph said.
"Steph," KT replied.
"Have you noticed..." Stephanie began. "Have you noticed that we came here months ago with the intention of destroying the Charmed Ones forever, and now we kinda live with them?"
KT looked away. "Don't make me sick," she said halfheartedly. She knew it was true.
"KT-" Steph pleaded. "We gotta do something about it."
"You're right!" KT shouted, loud enough so that the Halliwells n Co could hear her. "Those dratted witches are way too crap and annoying. They're goin dahn! Prue, Piper and that pipsqueak Phoebe are all gonna-"
Suddenly KT was hit on the head by a rolling pin which had been thrown. Stephanie glanced fearfully at where it had come from to see a round woman with an apron shaking her fist at them angrily. It was LIN.
"I can hear you bad-mouthing my daughter," she screamed, and began to lumber her way towards them.
Eyes wide, Stephanie grabbed KT and threw her back into the f*ck off pink mansion. Through a different, unbroken window. Well, it was broken now.
The woman arrived at the foot of the window and picked up her Rolling Pin of Death. "You haven't lost me yet!" she shrieked and began to climb in.
"Oooh we're in trouble," Stephanie said as her mind raced for something to do to protect them against the Lumbering Idium Murderer. Against LIN.
A/N: Well, Lumbering Idium Murder = LIM, not LIN. KT is just really stupid. And, as always, her views and opinions are soley hers. Just thought I should throw that out there.
A/N: This was written by KT, but posted by Steph; cause KT's a lazy ass. I, Steph, do not have a chapter to contribute, because I am also a lazy ass.
KT and Stephanie were slouching around watching old crap on TV. Stephanie was eating candyfloss and KT was pouring milk all over the floors. They didn't notice Prue approach cautiously.
"Uh, guys?" Prue asked tentatively.
Suddenly, KT and Stephanie's vision went black and white.
"What do you want?" Stephanie snapped and turned to face her. Then she screamed.
This got KT's attention and she too glanced up at Prue. And also began to scream.
"What ARE you?" KT yelled, her voice clearly conveying her fear. "You're not Prue!"
The woman looked at them both as if they were retards. "Uh, duh! Prue's dead. I'm Paige!"
Stephanie and KT glanced at each other and both jumped out the window. BAM! Phoebe walked in and looked at Prue. "What's eating them?" she asked.
"I dunno," Prue replied, "They saw me and started screaming! I'm actually pretty hurt. What're you smirking at?" she backhanded Phoebe quickly.
"Just that, oh, I've been practising my powers - I can now project my prems onto other people!"
"Prems?" Prue glared disdainfully and began to kick Phoebe. "So what did they see? I mean, they were looking at me but if they were having a premonition at the same time then..."
"Well, this is just a guess, but maybe they saw the future where you've died and have been replaced by our baby sister we never knew we had," she paused for effect, "until now."
"Shut up, Phoebe."
*
Outside, KT and Stephanie were picking themselves up off the young warlock they'd landed on.
"How rude," he commented and stared at them. "Were you two just... in the f*ck off pink manor?"
KT frowned. "Manor?" she echoed, "Man-shun. It's a mansion. F*ck off pink manor sounds stoopid!"
Stephanie nodded in agreement. Then she did a little jig for no real reason. She stared off into the distance for a long long time.
"Oookay," KT said and turned to the warlock. "So who are you, bitch?"
He slapped her. "I'm Olly."
"Nice name..." KT commented. "And what are you doing here?"
Olly proceeded to inform KT that he was spying on the Charmed Ones. And had been for several years- eh, months-eh, days. He had the hugest crush on Piper.
"You do know she's married, right?" KT asked sceptically. "And she's gonna have a bab-" She was silenced by the Queen herself leaning out the window and clamping a hand over KT's mouth.
"Spoiler alert," Piper growled, "Shut up."
With a strange look at Olly, Piper let go of KT and disappeared back through the window. Olly gaped.
"Wowo!" he exclaimed, "She just touched you!"
KT's face scrunched up. "Ew, I know. I'll never be clean." She glanced at Steph who was still staring into space. "So you want to meet her?"
"Do I?" Olly repeated enthusiastically.
"That's what I asked..." KT said, her tone of voice clearly indicating she thought Olly was strange. Or she was thinking about other things. Like 'lyssie' and how ew she was. "So do you? Do you wanna meet Piper-"
"Get out of the milk!" Stephanie suddenly screamed.
KT and Olly yelled in fear and jumped into the air. Stephanie ran around in circles screeching and flapping her arms. Upon realising there was no milk to get out of, KT turned to the flailing
Steph and slapped her. She fell over.
"BAM!" KT said.
"Bitch went dahn!" Olly finished.
Astonished, the two demon buddies turned to stare at Olly. "What did you just say?" Stephanie asked, eyeing him curiously.
"Well I HAVE been watching you all for years-months-days. I picked up on the weird ways you two talk. You munky lubbers."
"I see..." KT mused.
"It's more than I do!" Prue yelled from inside. Then Astral Prue was beside them. KT and
Stephanie immediately fell to their knees at her feet. Olly looked on, confused.
Stephanie kicked him from her place on the grass. "Bow you p'idium!"
"Why?" he queried. Big mistake.
"She's God, doofus!" KT replied before yelping as Astral Prue employed her wrath.
"Repent!" Astral Prue roared at Olly, and TK'd him into the next door's skylight. Unfortunatly
for Olly, the next door neighbours included none other than a certain woman who was very rounded at the edges. She wore an apron round the clock, and carried with her a rolling pin, dubbed "The Rolling Pin of Death" which she used to bludgeon nasty little people who bad mouthed her daughter. And she'd been hearing rumours Olly was one of those nasty little people. She was the original Lumbering Idium Murderer, or LIN as she was called by all who feared her.
All they heard for a long time were screams of agony coming from next door. And someone singing "Light and love!" as they beat someone to death.
AP (Astral Prue) disappeared and KT and Stephanie got up.
"KT?" Steph said.
"Steph," KT replied.
"Have you noticed..." Stephanie began. "Have you noticed that we came here months ago with the intention of destroying the Charmed Ones forever, and now we kinda live with them?"
KT looked away. "Don't make me sick," she said halfheartedly. She knew it was true.
"KT-" Steph pleaded. "We gotta do something about it."
"You're right!" KT shouted, loud enough so that the Halliwells n Co could hear her. "Those dratted witches are way too crap and annoying. They're goin dahn! Prue, Piper and that pipsqueak Phoebe are all gonna-"
Suddenly KT was hit on the head by a rolling pin which had been thrown. Stephanie glanced fearfully at where it had come from to see a round woman with an apron shaking her fist at them angrily. It was LIN.
"I can hear you bad-mouthing my daughter," she screamed, and began to lumber her way towards them.
Eyes wide, Stephanie grabbed KT and threw her back into the f*ck off pink mansion. Through a different, unbroken window. Well, it was broken now.
The woman arrived at the foot of the window and picked up her Rolling Pin of Death. "You haven't lost me yet!" she shrieked and began to climb in.
"Oooh we're in trouble," Stephanie said as her mind raced for something to do to protect them against the Lumbering Idium Murderer. Against LIN.
A/N: Well, Lumbering Idium Murder = LIM, not LIN. KT is just really stupid. And, as always, her views and opinions are soley hers. Just thought I should throw that out there.