A/N: Thanks to Jessica and Tanny for your reviews. I'd love to
hear from anyone who's reading this, so please review. Thanks!
Ch. 6 Confessions, Part II
I'd poured my heart out, and now I was curious. "Renée, can I ask you something?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"What exactly did you do to get community service, anyway?" I'd gleaned a few details here and there, but no solid facts. She was relaxed and at ease here, and I thought it might be an opportunity to finally get all the facts in the open.
She chuckled before answering. "It's really kind of funny. A friend of mine was smoking a joint in the bathroom at school, and I was trying to get her to stop. I knew there were teachers patrolling the halls. They purposely make the ventilation in the bathrooms bad so smells like that permeate the entire hallway. It can be really gross. Anyway, I grabbed the joint, but a teacher walked in at that moment, so it looked like I was smoking. I can't even stand the smell of cigarette smoke, much less that stuff. I tried to tell her that, but she didn't listen, and I got more and more upset. I got mad at the police officer they called in, and he sent me to court. I managed to get charged with contempt of court because of my 'inappropriate attitude'. They'd convinced themselves I was guilty, so they didn't want to listen to excuses, and I was too mad to make much of an impression, anyway. I got sentenced to community service so they wouldn't have to lock me up."
"Oh, no. Even in high school, you get framed." We both laughed at that. I had been afraid there would be some dark secret involving drugs or something similar. "If you don't mind, tell me a little more about your family." Again, I had to hope I wasn't bringing up a painful subject, but like before, Renée answered without hesitation.
"There isn't all that much to say. I was raised by my stepmother. Her name was Amanda, and she was very beautiful. She was blond and tall, and I'm pretty sure she was very strong, too, but she stayed with abusive boyfriends, anyway. I can remember three different ones. She never wanted to go to work on her own. She just stayed home and took care of me. There were times I'd catch her looking off into nowhere, like she was imagining a better life. I read her diary once. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I was curious. I felt horrible about it for the next month, and I still feel guilty about it, but I never did admit it to her. It was strange. She said, 'I hate this life. I hate my so-called boyfriend. I wish there was another way, but I can't see it. If I were to leave, there would be no money for food, and even if we went far away, the problem would remain, and I won't go to places so primitive that I could find work.' I don't understand that, Jenny. It doesn't make any sense. She also said, 'I wish I could send Renée home. If I could, then she'd have a good life without this abuse, and I could end it all. Someday, I'll find a way. I have to. This life is harming Renée more and more every day. She can't stay here.' Send me home…what does all of it mean?"
"I have no idea, Renée…"
We sat in silence for a moment, then Elladan knocked on the door and stopped in to visit. He brought a tray of food, then left. Renée helped me eat. After that, Elladan came back and carried me out to the courtyard, where I spent the rest of the afternoon chatting with whoever might come by. It was a chance to get reacquainted with the Elves I had known before. They seemed a little uncomfortable in my presence. They weren't entirely certain how to react to me or how to treat me. Even in the nursing home, where the staff was supposedly trained to deal with injuries like mine, people were condescending. Like the young secretary, many of them didn't know how to relate to me. Unlike them, though, the Elves treated me with respect and dignity. They realized only my body was injured. Still, it was strange for them, who have never suffered from disease and rarely face death.
As the supper bell rang, a servant came and invited me to dinner in the hall, but I wasn't quite ready for that. At my request, the servant carried me back to my room, then brought a tray of food. It was a nice change from the nursing home. There, my opinion didn't count. They would do whatever they thought was best, regardless of what I thought about it. Frequently, "what was best" was not what was best for me but what was easiest for them, anyway. Back in my room, I tried to get Renée to go to dinner with the others, but she insisted on staying and helping me eat. The food was excellent. Like everything else they did, the Elves took a lot of effort into making the food good. The nursing home food had been the stereotypical institutional food—bland, fried, and always the same. Even in this one meal here, though, there was variety. There was fresh fruit, thoughtfully cut, warm bread, fresh vegetables, and roast hare. Renée was a little surprised when I told her what it was, but she tried it, and like me, she enjoyed it.
After dinner, Elladan returned and carried me out to the gardens. I usually enjoy the time there, but I was tired, and Renée was a little bored. Pete carried me back to my room, and Renée helped me slip out of the dress. I slept in the slip. I was asleep instantly, but dreams troubled my sleep. I saw myself in the yard at the nursing home, and Glorfindel standing just across the lawn and a little creek which wasn't usually there. There was no bridge over the creek, and no way I could cross. He called me, asking me to come back, but I couldn't move. I tried to push the controls on my wheelchair, but it wouldn't move. He looked confused when I didn't come, then hurt. He stared at me for a long time. I tried to call out to him, but I couldn't speak. Eventually, he turned and walked away, seemingly defeated. He faded into the mists beyond the little creek, then I woke with a start. It was still the middle of the night, and eventually, I managed to fall asleep again.
Ch. 6 Confessions, Part II
I'd poured my heart out, and now I was curious. "Renée, can I ask you something?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"What exactly did you do to get community service, anyway?" I'd gleaned a few details here and there, but no solid facts. She was relaxed and at ease here, and I thought it might be an opportunity to finally get all the facts in the open.
She chuckled before answering. "It's really kind of funny. A friend of mine was smoking a joint in the bathroom at school, and I was trying to get her to stop. I knew there were teachers patrolling the halls. They purposely make the ventilation in the bathrooms bad so smells like that permeate the entire hallway. It can be really gross. Anyway, I grabbed the joint, but a teacher walked in at that moment, so it looked like I was smoking. I can't even stand the smell of cigarette smoke, much less that stuff. I tried to tell her that, but she didn't listen, and I got more and more upset. I got mad at the police officer they called in, and he sent me to court. I managed to get charged with contempt of court because of my 'inappropriate attitude'. They'd convinced themselves I was guilty, so they didn't want to listen to excuses, and I was too mad to make much of an impression, anyway. I got sentenced to community service so they wouldn't have to lock me up."
"Oh, no. Even in high school, you get framed." We both laughed at that. I had been afraid there would be some dark secret involving drugs or something similar. "If you don't mind, tell me a little more about your family." Again, I had to hope I wasn't bringing up a painful subject, but like before, Renée answered without hesitation.
"There isn't all that much to say. I was raised by my stepmother. Her name was Amanda, and she was very beautiful. She was blond and tall, and I'm pretty sure she was very strong, too, but she stayed with abusive boyfriends, anyway. I can remember three different ones. She never wanted to go to work on her own. She just stayed home and took care of me. There were times I'd catch her looking off into nowhere, like she was imagining a better life. I read her diary once. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I was curious. I felt horrible about it for the next month, and I still feel guilty about it, but I never did admit it to her. It was strange. She said, 'I hate this life. I hate my so-called boyfriend. I wish there was another way, but I can't see it. If I were to leave, there would be no money for food, and even if we went far away, the problem would remain, and I won't go to places so primitive that I could find work.' I don't understand that, Jenny. It doesn't make any sense. She also said, 'I wish I could send Renée home. If I could, then she'd have a good life without this abuse, and I could end it all. Someday, I'll find a way. I have to. This life is harming Renée more and more every day. She can't stay here.' Send me home…what does all of it mean?"
"I have no idea, Renée…"
We sat in silence for a moment, then Elladan knocked on the door and stopped in to visit. He brought a tray of food, then left. Renée helped me eat. After that, Elladan came back and carried me out to the courtyard, where I spent the rest of the afternoon chatting with whoever might come by. It was a chance to get reacquainted with the Elves I had known before. They seemed a little uncomfortable in my presence. They weren't entirely certain how to react to me or how to treat me. Even in the nursing home, where the staff was supposedly trained to deal with injuries like mine, people were condescending. Like the young secretary, many of them didn't know how to relate to me. Unlike them, though, the Elves treated me with respect and dignity. They realized only my body was injured. Still, it was strange for them, who have never suffered from disease and rarely face death.
As the supper bell rang, a servant came and invited me to dinner in the hall, but I wasn't quite ready for that. At my request, the servant carried me back to my room, then brought a tray of food. It was a nice change from the nursing home. There, my opinion didn't count. They would do whatever they thought was best, regardless of what I thought about it. Frequently, "what was best" was not what was best for me but what was easiest for them, anyway. Back in my room, I tried to get Renée to go to dinner with the others, but she insisted on staying and helping me eat. The food was excellent. Like everything else they did, the Elves took a lot of effort into making the food good. The nursing home food had been the stereotypical institutional food—bland, fried, and always the same. Even in this one meal here, though, there was variety. There was fresh fruit, thoughtfully cut, warm bread, fresh vegetables, and roast hare. Renée was a little surprised when I told her what it was, but she tried it, and like me, she enjoyed it.
After dinner, Elladan returned and carried me out to the gardens. I usually enjoy the time there, but I was tired, and Renée was a little bored. Pete carried me back to my room, and Renée helped me slip out of the dress. I slept in the slip. I was asleep instantly, but dreams troubled my sleep. I saw myself in the yard at the nursing home, and Glorfindel standing just across the lawn and a little creek which wasn't usually there. There was no bridge over the creek, and no way I could cross. He called me, asking me to come back, but I couldn't move. I tried to push the controls on my wheelchair, but it wouldn't move. He looked confused when I didn't come, then hurt. He stared at me for a long time. I tried to call out to him, but I couldn't speak. Eventually, he turned and walked away, seemingly defeated. He faded into the mists beyond the little creek, then I woke with a start. It was still the middle of the night, and eventually, I managed to fall asleep again.