Summary: Asha and Logan "bang the gong."
Chapter Nine
Logan transferred back to the chair and started to wheel himself down the hall. Asha followed him. He stopped briefly at his bedroom door and said to her, "Make yourself comfortable. I'll be back in a few," then headed to the bathroom.
He brushed his teeth, then prepared himself, according to Bling's and Sam Carr's instructions, for a night of, well he wasn't sure what it was going to be a night of. He still didn't know how his body would respond, or if it would respond at all. He'd discussed such matters with Sam after his second surgery, but it had all been abstract, theoretical, and more than a bit clinical. He wasn't sure he could take any more humiliation if his body failed him; he'd had so much over the past year.
Then there was his history with Asha. They'd been passionate lovers back in San Francisco and she knew what he'd been capable of then. For her to even entertain the thought that he was still capable - well, it was incomprehensible to him, and any comparisons to what he'd been like in the past were unthinkable. He had to admit to himself that he was more than a little scared.
Back in the day, they'd ridden bikes all over the place. They'd hiked to the top of Mount Tamalpais and watched the sunset. They'd made love all weekend in his flat overlooking the bay. Now he could stand and walk only with artificial assistance. Once out of the exoskeleton, he was a cripple in a wheelchair, worthy only of Asha's pity. And he didn't want that.
"Logan, get over yourself!" he muttered, looking in the mirror. "You ditched the pity party mode months ago! You came to terms with all of this. It didn't matter to Max that you couldn't walk. It took you almost a year to realize that and it almost ruined the two of you. Don't screw up now."
But Asha was different, he insisted to himself. Max had known him only a few days before he'd been shot and had begun his new life as a paraplegic. Asha had known him when he was active and vigorous and standing on his own two feet. The shocked look on her face when he'd opened the door a few days ago told him all he needed to know.
*****
Still giving himself a mental pep talk, he returned to his room. Asha was standing beside the bed, staring at the exoskeleton. She had never seen it when the lights were on.
"Can you put that on the other side of the nightstand for me?" he asked.
"Sure." Asha picked it up gingerly and placed it where he had asked her. To her surprise, it wasn't heavy at all.
Logan wheeled over to the bed and in a smooth motion, transferred out of the chair and onto it. Asha unzipped her jeans and took them off. She stood before Logan in a pair of lavender lace panties and a tee shirt.
"For a bomb-throwing, fire-breathing revolutionary, you sure wear sexy undies," Logan said with a smile.
"We all have our guilty little secrets," Asha replied, returning his smile. She leaned over and pulled his tee shirt over his head, tossing it to the bottom of the bed. Then she traced the contours of his chest with her index finger. "You've filled out a lot since I saw you last," she said admiringly.
"I've had a lot of physical therapy and exercise over the last year or so."
"It looks good on you." She pulled off her own tee shirt and undid her bra. She threw them on top of Logan's shirt. Her panties followed.
Logan eyed her. "You look good yourself." He tried unsuccessfully not to stare.
"Why, thank you sir. Shall we continue with the striptease?"
In reply, Logan undid the drawstring of his cargo pants and shinnied out of them and his shorts.
"Now, do you want me to do anything.?" Asha asked tentatively.
"Nope, I can get into bed all by myself." He laughed. It sounded to Asha like he was unused to laughing.
"That's not what I meant!" she said in mock indignation.
"Just jerking your chain." Supporting himself with his hands, Logan slid farther back onto the bed until he was sitting with his legs straight out in front of him. Then he rolled onto his side facing Asha and lifted his legs into place with his hands.
She climbed into bed next to him. She turned to face him and just held him in her arms.
*****
Logan had taken off his glasses and his eyelids fluttered closed as he savored her touch. Her hands moved all over his upper body and arms, tracing patterns on his chest and back. She searched for that new place she knew would drive him crazy, the spot that used to be on the inside of his thigh. Lazily, her fingers touched, tickled, and stroked him.
He felt his body tighten beneath her ministrations and he wondered if that meant what he thought it did. He was embarrassed to look down or to ask her. Then he sighed in contentment. He hadn't felt like this since . the anniversary night that had found him and Max on the floor of his living room, locked in an embrace. He hadn't thought he could feel that way again.
Max, he thought. God, he had to let her go. She was dead and he had to get on with his life. Unwanted tears welled up. When he opened his eyes again, Asha was looking at him with a concerned expression on her face.
"Are you all right?"
"-Yeah, I'm OK. Had a moment there."
"Thinking about the girl who died?"
"Yes," he admitted. NO No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling that Max was alive out there somewhere.
"Want me to stop?"
"No. It feels good. Keep going."
" As long as you're OK with it."
"I'm OK with it. You were right. I'm not dead. I need to get on with my life.. I was enjoying it. I actually felt whole again for a minute or two."
"Well, I gotta tell you, your body acted like it was whole. In case you hadn't noticed, or couldn't tell."
"I wasn't sure. It was a different sensation from what I was used to. I guess I need to reprogram my brain to recognize new signals. At least I'm getting signals. I suppose I should be grateful."
"Come on, Logan, you're a guy. You'd have to be dead to not get any signals! Let me get back to what I was doing. Can you roll over on your back? It'll be easier for both of us."
In response, Logan rolled onto his back, with Asha still in his arms. It felt so good to hold a woman again, and he was happy to know that his body could still respond, even if he couldn't feel it. She moved farther down his body, her tongue delicately darting up and down his chest. Reflexively, he arched his back as best he could, realizing that momentarily she would reach a place that he could no longer feel. Maybe it was his imagination, but sensation did not stop as she continued down his chest toward his navel.
He ran his fingers through her hair, once again noting the difference between her and Max, whose long hair would have hung in his eyes as he made love to her. Stop it, Logan, he reprimanded himself mentally. Don't you know how tacky it is to think of one woman while making love to another? He tried to put thoughts of Max out of his mind.
He watched as Asha stroked the inside of his thigh. Logan thought he could feel a tingle, or maybe it was just the transference exercise she had taught him. In any case, it made him crazy, just like it had done in the past. He closed his eyes contentedly, hoping she would continue to rouse him and amazed that she could.
She leaned forward, her breasts touching his chest. Then she kissed him again, her tongue darting into his mouth in a way he'd always found so enticing. They tongue-wrestled for a few minutes until he broke the contact, pulling her down closer to him. His hands ran down her back, massaging her buttocks until she moaned. She licked his ear and twined her fingers in his hair, then wrapped her legs around him.
Locked together, they continued to explore new ways and places. Asha stroked, rubbed, fondled, and tweaked all of Logan's upper body, finding out what elicited the most reaction from him. Mentally, she filed away whatever she discovered. Then she slid down his legs, to the unfeeling half of him, determined to alleviate some of the numbness he had said he felt below the point of his injury.
Tentatively, she ran a fingernail down the inside of his leg, down to his ankle. There was no response. She tickled the sole of his foot. Again, there was no reaction. She moved back up above the level of sensation to try to find his center of arousal. She licked his nipples with a quick, darting motion. Logan's eyelids snapped open in surprise. Then he smiled. He felt the tightness in his body again, but this time he knew what it meant.
"Ah, that did it!" Asha whispered, then reached down to fondle him. "How'm I doing?"
"I'll give you a week to stop that!" Logan replied breathlessly. Maybe it was his imagination, but he was certain he could feel her stroking him. It was the most wonderful sensation because he had thought he'd never experience it again. He kissed Asha on the forehead, then on the lips, not forcefully, as he had the previous night, but with contentment.
"Ya know," she whispered in his ear as she broke the lip lock, "You're pretty much standing at attention."
"Really?" Logan looked down.
"And this is the first time I've had to tell a guy that he's got it up - "
"I'll bet."
"So let's see what we can do with it."
Asha straddled Logan, then lowered herself on top of him, still stroking him to keep him hard. She rode him, gently at first, moving up and down, her thighs working rhythmically. Logan watched her, fascinated. It was almost voyeuristic, this new kind of lovemaking, but not unpleasant. He reached up and pulled her closer to him. While she speeded up her motions, he played with her nipples, then ran his fingers down her body. With his hands around her waist, he helped her move up and down, faster and faster, until she was spent.
He couldn't feel her climax, but he could see the expression on her face and know that she had come. Somehow, that satisfied him. Asha smiled at him and he smiled back. They kissed again, before she rolled off of him.
They held each other tightly until they fell asleep.
*****
The next morning, Asha awoke first. The previous night had seemed like a dream and she wanted to remind herself that it wasn't. She looked over at the sleeping figure next to her. Logan was wrapped in the sheets, sleeping soundly. He was sprawled across the bed, his legs intertwined with hers.
She carefully sat up and smiled at him. Then she gently lifted his legs off of hers. He stirred, but didn't wake up. She slid out of the bed and silently tiptoed into the bathroom where she indulged in a long, steaming shower. Humming happily, she shampooed her hair. When she stared into the mirror while brushing her teeth, the face that stared back at her looked a lot like a woman in love.
When she returned to the bedroom, Logan was still asleep. Knowing how difficult it had been for him to sleep lately, she didn't disturb him. Instead, she went back to her room and dressed. Checking her watch, she realized that she had to meet the other S1W members shortly, so she scribbled a note for Logan and taped it to his refrigerator. She slipped out of his apartment quietly, boots in hand, stealing a furtive look at his still form.
*****
Several hours later, Logan awoke. He was startled to find that the space in the bed next to him was empty. He didn't hear any sounds from the bathroom, so he sleepily wondered where Asha was. He reached for his glasses.
Now that he could see the alarm clock on the nightstand clearly, he realized that it was still early in the morning. Untangling himself from the sheets, he couldn't help thinking about the previous night. At least he had proved something to himself. Asha apparently had taken it for granted that his lovemaking skills were intact, but he hadn't. He felt better this morning, now that he knew he could still satisfy a woman, and that he could at least enjoy himself, if not find his own satisfaction. That might take more practice, he suspected.
After the ill-fated sojourn at Cape Haven, Logan thought he had nothing more to prove to himself. He decided he was wrong. He always had to prove something to himself; eventually, he hoped, there would be nothing more left to prove. One by one, the obstacles were falling.
He maneuvered himself over to the edge of the bed and transferred to the chair. Figuring it was time to get started on more Manticore research, he wheeled into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee. While it was brewing, he showered and dressed, still wondering where Asha was. When he went back to the kitchen, he spotted her note. He unfolded it and read it.
Logan - I had to go meet up with the guys to run some errands. I'll be back shortly. Thanks for last night. Asha
Logan smiled, thinking that he should be thanking her. He made himself a cup of coffee and, still energized from the previous night, fired up the computers, eager to complete his task. Somehow, he knew that the day would bring a breakthrough. It had to.
Chapter Nine
Logan transferred back to the chair and started to wheel himself down the hall. Asha followed him. He stopped briefly at his bedroom door and said to her, "Make yourself comfortable. I'll be back in a few," then headed to the bathroom.
He brushed his teeth, then prepared himself, according to Bling's and Sam Carr's instructions, for a night of, well he wasn't sure what it was going to be a night of. He still didn't know how his body would respond, or if it would respond at all. He'd discussed such matters with Sam after his second surgery, but it had all been abstract, theoretical, and more than a bit clinical. He wasn't sure he could take any more humiliation if his body failed him; he'd had so much over the past year.
Then there was his history with Asha. They'd been passionate lovers back in San Francisco and she knew what he'd been capable of then. For her to even entertain the thought that he was still capable - well, it was incomprehensible to him, and any comparisons to what he'd been like in the past were unthinkable. He had to admit to himself that he was more than a little scared.
Back in the day, they'd ridden bikes all over the place. They'd hiked to the top of Mount Tamalpais and watched the sunset. They'd made love all weekend in his flat overlooking the bay. Now he could stand and walk only with artificial assistance. Once out of the exoskeleton, he was a cripple in a wheelchair, worthy only of Asha's pity. And he didn't want that.
"Logan, get over yourself!" he muttered, looking in the mirror. "You ditched the pity party mode months ago! You came to terms with all of this. It didn't matter to Max that you couldn't walk. It took you almost a year to realize that and it almost ruined the two of you. Don't screw up now."
But Asha was different, he insisted to himself. Max had known him only a few days before he'd been shot and had begun his new life as a paraplegic. Asha had known him when he was active and vigorous and standing on his own two feet. The shocked look on her face when he'd opened the door a few days ago told him all he needed to know.
*****
Still giving himself a mental pep talk, he returned to his room. Asha was standing beside the bed, staring at the exoskeleton. She had never seen it when the lights were on.
"Can you put that on the other side of the nightstand for me?" he asked.
"Sure." Asha picked it up gingerly and placed it where he had asked her. To her surprise, it wasn't heavy at all.
Logan wheeled over to the bed and in a smooth motion, transferred out of the chair and onto it. Asha unzipped her jeans and took them off. She stood before Logan in a pair of lavender lace panties and a tee shirt.
"For a bomb-throwing, fire-breathing revolutionary, you sure wear sexy undies," Logan said with a smile.
"We all have our guilty little secrets," Asha replied, returning his smile. She leaned over and pulled his tee shirt over his head, tossing it to the bottom of the bed. Then she traced the contours of his chest with her index finger. "You've filled out a lot since I saw you last," she said admiringly.
"I've had a lot of physical therapy and exercise over the last year or so."
"It looks good on you." She pulled off her own tee shirt and undid her bra. She threw them on top of Logan's shirt. Her panties followed.
Logan eyed her. "You look good yourself." He tried unsuccessfully not to stare.
"Why, thank you sir. Shall we continue with the striptease?"
In reply, Logan undid the drawstring of his cargo pants and shinnied out of them and his shorts.
"Now, do you want me to do anything.?" Asha asked tentatively.
"Nope, I can get into bed all by myself." He laughed. It sounded to Asha like he was unused to laughing.
"That's not what I meant!" she said in mock indignation.
"Just jerking your chain." Supporting himself with his hands, Logan slid farther back onto the bed until he was sitting with his legs straight out in front of him. Then he rolled onto his side facing Asha and lifted his legs into place with his hands.
She climbed into bed next to him. She turned to face him and just held him in her arms.
*****
Logan had taken off his glasses and his eyelids fluttered closed as he savored her touch. Her hands moved all over his upper body and arms, tracing patterns on his chest and back. She searched for that new place she knew would drive him crazy, the spot that used to be on the inside of his thigh. Lazily, her fingers touched, tickled, and stroked him.
He felt his body tighten beneath her ministrations and he wondered if that meant what he thought it did. He was embarrassed to look down or to ask her. Then he sighed in contentment. He hadn't felt like this since . the anniversary night that had found him and Max on the floor of his living room, locked in an embrace. He hadn't thought he could feel that way again.
Max, he thought. God, he had to let her go. She was dead and he had to get on with his life. Unwanted tears welled up. When he opened his eyes again, Asha was looking at him with a concerned expression on her face.
"Are you all right?"
"-Yeah, I'm OK. Had a moment there."
"Thinking about the girl who died?"
"Yes," he admitted. NO No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling that Max was alive out there somewhere.
"Want me to stop?"
"No. It feels good. Keep going."
" As long as you're OK with it."
"I'm OK with it. You were right. I'm not dead. I need to get on with my life.. I was enjoying it. I actually felt whole again for a minute or two."
"Well, I gotta tell you, your body acted like it was whole. In case you hadn't noticed, or couldn't tell."
"I wasn't sure. It was a different sensation from what I was used to. I guess I need to reprogram my brain to recognize new signals. At least I'm getting signals. I suppose I should be grateful."
"Come on, Logan, you're a guy. You'd have to be dead to not get any signals! Let me get back to what I was doing. Can you roll over on your back? It'll be easier for both of us."
In response, Logan rolled onto his back, with Asha still in his arms. It felt so good to hold a woman again, and he was happy to know that his body could still respond, even if he couldn't feel it. She moved farther down his body, her tongue delicately darting up and down his chest. Reflexively, he arched his back as best he could, realizing that momentarily she would reach a place that he could no longer feel. Maybe it was his imagination, but sensation did not stop as she continued down his chest toward his navel.
He ran his fingers through her hair, once again noting the difference between her and Max, whose long hair would have hung in his eyes as he made love to her. Stop it, Logan, he reprimanded himself mentally. Don't you know how tacky it is to think of one woman while making love to another? He tried to put thoughts of Max out of his mind.
He watched as Asha stroked the inside of his thigh. Logan thought he could feel a tingle, or maybe it was just the transference exercise she had taught him. In any case, it made him crazy, just like it had done in the past. He closed his eyes contentedly, hoping she would continue to rouse him and amazed that she could.
She leaned forward, her breasts touching his chest. Then she kissed him again, her tongue darting into his mouth in a way he'd always found so enticing. They tongue-wrestled for a few minutes until he broke the contact, pulling her down closer to him. His hands ran down her back, massaging her buttocks until she moaned. She licked his ear and twined her fingers in his hair, then wrapped her legs around him.
Locked together, they continued to explore new ways and places. Asha stroked, rubbed, fondled, and tweaked all of Logan's upper body, finding out what elicited the most reaction from him. Mentally, she filed away whatever she discovered. Then she slid down his legs, to the unfeeling half of him, determined to alleviate some of the numbness he had said he felt below the point of his injury.
Tentatively, she ran a fingernail down the inside of his leg, down to his ankle. There was no response. She tickled the sole of his foot. Again, there was no reaction. She moved back up above the level of sensation to try to find his center of arousal. She licked his nipples with a quick, darting motion. Logan's eyelids snapped open in surprise. Then he smiled. He felt the tightness in his body again, but this time he knew what it meant.
"Ah, that did it!" Asha whispered, then reached down to fondle him. "How'm I doing?"
"I'll give you a week to stop that!" Logan replied breathlessly. Maybe it was his imagination, but he was certain he could feel her stroking him. It was the most wonderful sensation because he had thought he'd never experience it again. He kissed Asha on the forehead, then on the lips, not forcefully, as he had the previous night, but with contentment.
"Ya know," she whispered in his ear as she broke the lip lock, "You're pretty much standing at attention."
"Really?" Logan looked down.
"And this is the first time I've had to tell a guy that he's got it up - "
"I'll bet."
"So let's see what we can do with it."
Asha straddled Logan, then lowered herself on top of him, still stroking him to keep him hard. She rode him, gently at first, moving up and down, her thighs working rhythmically. Logan watched her, fascinated. It was almost voyeuristic, this new kind of lovemaking, but not unpleasant. He reached up and pulled her closer to him. While she speeded up her motions, he played with her nipples, then ran his fingers down her body. With his hands around her waist, he helped her move up and down, faster and faster, until she was spent.
He couldn't feel her climax, but he could see the expression on her face and know that she had come. Somehow, that satisfied him. Asha smiled at him and he smiled back. They kissed again, before she rolled off of him.
They held each other tightly until they fell asleep.
*****
The next morning, Asha awoke first. The previous night had seemed like a dream and she wanted to remind herself that it wasn't. She looked over at the sleeping figure next to her. Logan was wrapped in the sheets, sleeping soundly. He was sprawled across the bed, his legs intertwined with hers.
She carefully sat up and smiled at him. Then she gently lifted his legs off of hers. He stirred, but didn't wake up. She slid out of the bed and silently tiptoed into the bathroom where she indulged in a long, steaming shower. Humming happily, she shampooed her hair. When she stared into the mirror while brushing her teeth, the face that stared back at her looked a lot like a woman in love.
When she returned to the bedroom, Logan was still asleep. Knowing how difficult it had been for him to sleep lately, she didn't disturb him. Instead, she went back to her room and dressed. Checking her watch, she realized that she had to meet the other S1W members shortly, so she scribbled a note for Logan and taped it to his refrigerator. She slipped out of his apartment quietly, boots in hand, stealing a furtive look at his still form.
*****
Several hours later, Logan awoke. He was startled to find that the space in the bed next to him was empty. He didn't hear any sounds from the bathroom, so he sleepily wondered where Asha was. He reached for his glasses.
Now that he could see the alarm clock on the nightstand clearly, he realized that it was still early in the morning. Untangling himself from the sheets, he couldn't help thinking about the previous night. At least he had proved something to himself. Asha apparently had taken it for granted that his lovemaking skills were intact, but he hadn't. He felt better this morning, now that he knew he could still satisfy a woman, and that he could at least enjoy himself, if not find his own satisfaction. That might take more practice, he suspected.
After the ill-fated sojourn at Cape Haven, Logan thought he had nothing more to prove to himself. He decided he was wrong. He always had to prove something to himself; eventually, he hoped, there would be nothing more left to prove. One by one, the obstacles were falling.
He maneuvered himself over to the edge of the bed and transferred to the chair. Figuring it was time to get started on more Manticore research, he wheeled into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee. While it was brewing, he showered and dressed, still wondering where Asha was. When he went back to the kitchen, he spotted her note. He unfolded it and read it.
Logan - I had to go meet up with the guys to run some errands. I'll be back shortly. Thanks for last night. Asha
Logan smiled, thinking that he should be thanking her. He made himself a cup of coffee and, still energized from the previous night, fired up the computers, eager to complete his task. Somehow, he knew that the day would bring a breakthrough. It had to.