Title: Answers
Author: The Zeppo Rating: PG 13 (possible adult situations) - I'm not really going to tell you if it's angsty or not, I don't wanna give away the story Summary: When Angel finds out about Spike and his newly restored soul, he heads to Sunnydale for some explanations. Totally B/A...or is it? Hehe. I'll also have different characters pov's expressed, so, keep that in mind. Spoilers: BtVS season 7, AtS season 4. This story takes place after Cordelia gets her memory back, yada, yada, yada. But don't worry, she's not really in any of the story. Feedback: Always wanted and welcome. For any of the previous chapters, just email me: slayage@hotmail.com Author's Note: All lyrics are by Avril Lavigne, off her album 'Let Go'
CHAPTER 2 Angel:
This is not happening.
There is no way Buffy actually had a relationship with that son of a bitch. As she tells me the story in more detail than I ever wanted to know, I shut my eyes tightly and try, for a moment, to shut her out. I try to convince myself that if I can't hear her, none of it can be true. But it isn't working.
"I never did this to hurt you Angel," she says to me, and I can hear in her strained voice that her tears are imminent. "This wasn't about you. I just needed to forget, just for a while. And Spike was there, he was there when I needed him."
"And I wasn't," I whisper, trying to control the rage boiling inside of me.
"That's not what I meant, Angel. I know I'm not your priority anymore, I haven't been in a long time, and I understand that." She pauses, looks down at her feet, and swallows. Then, in a quieter voice, she says, "No matter how much I hate it, we're not in each other's lives any more. It wasn't your obligation to comfort me."
"So you thought that Spike would be the best solution?!" I say, my voice raised slightly as I get up off my chair and stare into her green eyes with mine. I'm sure she sees the fury there.
I hope she does.
"Maybe," she says. "A temporary solution. Angel, you don't know, you don't know how hard it was for me, just to be here."
"You should've talked to me, you should've known that I would have been there for you, no matter what. I deserved to know, all of this." I shake my head slightly, grinding my teeth, and she meets my eyes once again.
"Because you've been so completely honest with me over the past two years?" She says sarcastically, as she stands up as well. I'm a surprised at her words. I didn't expect to be on the defensive.
"This isn't about me, Buffy."
"Of course not," she says again, the sarcasm still very clear in her statement.
"It just-," I begin, but don't know how to continue. I think I want her to know how much this hurts. I'm going to make her hurt just as much. She looks at me expectantly. "It just makes me wonder, Buffy. I mean, you were with me, you were with Spike..." I let the sentence go unfinished, but sum up my argument. "Maybe that's all I was to you. A Spike. Were you just playing the field? Tried the dead guy, tried the living, but ultimately decided that dead guys were the most thrills?" She stares at me, a horrified expression on her face, and I know I've gone too far.
"How can you say that," she whispers, her anger clear in her tone. "The fact that you would say that, let alone think it...You know what you meant to me, Angel. You know." She stops for a moment, wipes a tear that slowly begins to roll down one of her cheeks. She looks so deeply into my eyes that I almost have to look away. But I won't do that to her again. "I loved you with my whole heart, my entire soul. You're the only one that's ever gotten the whole package. Why do you think I was reduced to sleeping with Spike?!" She raises her voice on the last comment. "You took the biggest piece of me with you, Angel. And then I didn't have a hell of a lot left. That's why Riley left me. He knew that I couldn't love him, not the way I loved you, and he couldn't take it." Everything she's saying, everything she's sharing, is leaving me utterly speechless. "Ever since you left, I just get more numb every day. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it."
The smallest tang of hate underscores her words.
************************************TBC
Author: The Zeppo Rating: PG 13 (possible adult situations) - I'm not really going to tell you if it's angsty or not, I don't wanna give away the story Summary: When Angel finds out about Spike and his newly restored soul, he heads to Sunnydale for some explanations. Totally B/A...or is it? Hehe. I'll also have different characters pov's expressed, so, keep that in mind. Spoilers: BtVS season 7, AtS season 4. This story takes place after Cordelia gets her memory back, yada, yada, yada. But don't worry, she's not really in any of the story. Feedback: Always wanted and welcome. For any of the previous chapters, just email me: slayage@hotmail.com Author's Note: All lyrics are by Avril Lavigne, off her album 'Let Go'
CHAPTER 2 Angel:
This is not happening.
There is no way Buffy actually had a relationship with that son of a bitch. As she tells me the story in more detail than I ever wanted to know, I shut my eyes tightly and try, for a moment, to shut her out. I try to convince myself that if I can't hear her, none of it can be true. But it isn't working.
"I never did this to hurt you Angel," she says to me, and I can hear in her strained voice that her tears are imminent. "This wasn't about you. I just needed to forget, just for a while. And Spike was there, he was there when I needed him."
"And I wasn't," I whisper, trying to control the rage boiling inside of me.
"That's not what I meant, Angel. I know I'm not your priority anymore, I haven't been in a long time, and I understand that." She pauses, looks down at her feet, and swallows. Then, in a quieter voice, she says, "No matter how much I hate it, we're not in each other's lives any more. It wasn't your obligation to comfort me."
"So you thought that Spike would be the best solution?!" I say, my voice raised slightly as I get up off my chair and stare into her green eyes with mine. I'm sure she sees the fury there.
I hope she does.
"Maybe," she says. "A temporary solution. Angel, you don't know, you don't know how hard it was for me, just to be here."
"You should've talked to me, you should've known that I would have been there for you, no matter what. I deserved to know, all of this." I shake my head slightly, grinding my teeth, and she meets my eyes once again.
"Because you've been so completely honest with me over the past two years?" She says sarcastically, as she stands up as well. I'm a surprised at her words. I didn't expect to be on the defensive.
"This isn't about me, Buffy."
"Of course not," she says again, the sarcasm still very clear in her statement.
"It just-," I begin, but don't know how to continue. I think I want her to know how much this hurts. I'm going to make her hurt just as much. She looks at me expectantly. "It just makes me wonder, Buffy. I mean, you were with me, you were with Spike..." I let the sentence go unfinished, but sum up my argument. "Maybe that's all I was to you. A Spike. Were you just playing the field? Tried the dead guy, tried the living, but ultimately decided that dead guys were the most thrills?" She stares at me, a horrified expression on her face, and I know I've gone too far.
"How can you say that," she whispers, her anger clear in her tone. "The fact that you would say that, let alone think it...You know what you meant to me, Angel. You know." She stops for a moment, wipes a tear that slowly begins to roll down one of her cheeks. She looks so deeply into my eyes that I almost have to look away. But I won't do that to her again. "I loved you with my whole heart, my entire soul. You're the only one that's ever gotten the whole package. Why do you think I was reduced to sleeping with Spike?!" She raises her voice on the last comment. "You took the biggest piece of me with you, Angel. And then I didn't have a hell of a lot left. That's why Riley left me. He knew that I couldn't love him, not the way I loved you, and he couldn't take it." Everything she's saying, everything she's sharing, is leaving me utterly speechless. "Ever since you left, I just get more numb every day. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it."
The smallest tang of hate underscores her words.
************************************TBC