~*Everything You Want*~
Chapter Five: Last Beautiful Girl
Dove: Hoorah! We're back again! Oh, the angst! The glorious, glorious angst!!! Poor Roger… I'm surprised he hasn't attempted suicide yet, since everything's not going his way! In this chapter, Hufflepuff plays Gryffindor, Cedric gets a crush, and Roger decides to show some Gryffindor traits and jump to conclusions…
Thalia: LOL... come on people... you knew that the fluff wasn't going to last. I was starting to get disgusted with myself after writing that dream sequence last chapter, so there is certainly no nights filled with lovely dreams here! But read and review anyway, or else you'll never be able to see the fluff-tacular ending we've planned! READ NOW!!!
Disclaimer: They aren't ours… because if Roger were ours, we'd have him on anti-depressants by now. And something to cure high blood pressure. Because he needs to simmer down.
"It won't be the first heart that you break
It won't be the last beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world
Tell me one more time
How you're sorry about the way this all went down
You needed to find your space
You needed to still be friends
Needed me to
Call you if I ever couldn't keep it all together
You'd comfort me
Tell me bout forever
And the promises I never should've believed…"
-Matchbox 20, "Last Beautiful Girl"
Roger Davies sat at his favorite spot in front of the fireplace in the Ravenclaw Common Room, A Guide to Elemental Transfiguration, Secondary Level by Casca Modifius open in his lap. However, at the moment, his mind was nowhere near his homework.
The need to tell Cho about how he felt for her was now reaching a level where it was literally consuming him. He had tried to act and think of her as he used to, to no avail. Ever since that fateful Halloween night, all he could think of whenever he saw her was I love you... I love you... I love you. These feelings accumulated inside him, growing ever stronger with time. He had to tell her... just so he would not burst. But... how?
He did not want her to become uncomfortable with him, or to throw his heart back in his face, or worse, to pity him and go to Diggory and tell the bloody Hufflepuff how awful she felt that he, Roger, liked her, but she had no idea what to do about it.
Occupied with these conflicting thoughts, Roger didn't even notice when Cho walked over to read over his shoulder. After a few moments, she vaulted over the back of the couch and ruffled Roger's hair, surprised when he blushed faintly. "Hey Roger, you hungry?" she asked.
"No thanks," he said, trying to keep his concentration of McGonagall's insanely difficult assignment. "Gotta get this done."
Cho shrugged, opened the book she had been carrying and began reading up on Astronomy halfheartedly, chatting with Roger the entire time. This ability to talk and read at the same time was something most Ravenclaws developed after a while. "I was going to run down to the kitchens and see if I could get some pie."
"You and your pie," he said noncommittally.
"My pie is my best friend," she said placidly. "Ced's already learned not to compete with it."
Roger counted to ten under his breath before talking again, for any mention of Diggory now brought him to unexpected fury. "Are you planning on all night?" he asked, schooling his face to calm. "A lot of homework?"
"No more than usual," she said. "Gryffindor plays Hufflepuff tomorrow, though. There might not be a chance to finish my weekend work any other time." She stretched languidly before resuming her reading. "Think Gryffindor'll win?"
"I'm sure of it, actually. With a Seeker like Potter… well, Hufflepuff's no competition."
"I don't know, Ced's pretty good," she disagreed. "It's drizzling outside. I bet it rains tomorrow. Potter's small enough to possibly get blown off course."
"Maybe," Roger shrugged.
Cho turned a page in her book and they read in silence for a while, though Roger was very aware of her proximity. Suddenly, she jumped up. "I think I'm going to go get pie. See you in a few minutes, Roger." With that, she left the Common Room, obviously quite accustomed to after-hours jaunts.
"Have you ever got it bad," Robin Harrison proclaimed, plopping down where Cho had just sat. "You'd think a smart girl like that would notice." Robin continued, "Well, I have to say that you have good taste, mate. She's smart, she's a spanking good Seeker, and quite pretty. Can't blame you in the least for being smitten, Davies."
Roger briefly wondered if the Sorting Hat had made a mistake in placing Robin in Ravenclaw House. He had the sort of almost-masochistic courageous insanity that generally characterized Gryffindor House. "Desist in talking of this topic at once, Harrison." His voice was deceptively bland, but Robin Harrison knew better. Giving his captain a small smirk, he walked off to challenge Penelope in a chess game.
Soon, Cho re-entered the common room, a smile on her face and a platter with no less than three steaming, fragrant pies in her hands. A few first-year girls, all of whom had idolized their house's Seeker ever since the incident of Sirius Black's break-in on Halloween, immediately clustered around them. Soon, one pie had been nearly decimated, and Cho had not taken a bite of it. Shrugging and grinning wryly, she accepted the thanks of the first-years, then said, "All right, then. Save some for me. And Glenda, don't take that last piece of the strawberry pie, you've already had a piece. Go and give it to Roger, it's his favorite."
Roger, pretending not to watch, was charmed by Cho's easy, matronly manner with the younger girls. Glenda walked up to him, blushing, and proffered a plate. "Here… Mister Davies, sir…" Apparently she was in awe of him. "Cho… wanted you to have some pie…"
Roger grinned, quite unaware that her heart was now beating a hundred miles an hour. He seemed quite oblivious to the fact that he was the best looking boy in the house. "Thanks," he said easily. Then he called over the couch back, "You're determined to make me eat, aren't you, Cho? Is this a backhanded tactic to make me fat and slow and let Gryffindor win our next game? Who's paying you, Chang?"
"I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it may incriminate me," she answered after sticking her tongue out at him. "Eat your pie and do your Transfiguration, Davies. I have Potions to mull through."
Everyone laughed, and there was a lighthearted attitude in the common room all through the night. Cho really did only fall asleep for about an hour at dawn, on the couch, her head comfortably cradled in Roger's lap, Potions textbook falling out of her hand to lay on the floor. He found it very hard to concentrate, and the first year girls whispered about Cho's brilliant luck behind their dormitory door in dramatic hushed voices.
The morning of the Gryffindor/Hufflepuff game dawned barely at all, wind, splashing rain, and crackling lightning having raged most of the night. Cho awoke with a particularly loud crash of thunder and jumped up to see that she had been sleeping in Roger's lap, and he had a very strange expression on his face. "Er… sorry Roger," she said sheepishly. "I bet that was uncomfortable." Another thunderclap sounded. "Are they really going to play in that?" Cho asked, sitting up and re-plaiting her hair.
"You better believe it," said Roger.
"I hope Cedric is all right," Cho said, worry creasing her face. "Perhaps I should go down to breakfast before he goes to change and see him before the game. See you, Roger!" Pulling her uniform hat on and straightening her rumpled robes, she left the common room, and a suddenly upset Roger, behind.
Roger entered the Great Hall just as Cho was wrapping up her conversation with Cedric Diggory. He looked from Cho's easygoing smile to Diggory's nervous, appreciative face, and then, saw her giving the Hufflepuff a friendly hug. His face darkened, and at that moment, he made a decision. No more delay-he needed to tell her. She and that Hufflepuff were way too close as it was. Everything else be damned, she would have to know tonight.
Cho made her way from the Hufflepuff table to her own and sat down next to him. "Roger, are you all right? You've been brooding so much as of late. Is there anything wrong?" her soft voice reached his ear, and she put a hand on his arm. Roger took a deep breath.
"Cho, could we talk sometime today? I need to talk to you about something," he muttered. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Robin Harrison grinning and giving him a thumbs-up. Cho gave him a strange look.
"Of course we can. You seem very worried. Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"Yes... yes. I'll be fine," he hurriedly replied. As long as you don't laugh in my face when you hear what I have to tell you, he thought to himself.
Cho nodded, and patted his hand reassuringly before turning to her breakfast.
Soon, it was time for the Quidditch game. The entire school turned out to watch. Cho and Roger sat with their house, sharing an umbrella, with her huddling close to him for warmth. They watched as Diggory shook hands with Wood, before the two captains mounted their broomsticks, and the game began.
It was, Cho reflected, one of the most difficult games she had ever seen. Even amplified, Lee Jordan's voice was getting lost in the wind's howling. The Chasers were moving in slow motion, fighting the wind, the Beaters were nearly useless, for it was hard to see anything, and the Seekers just floated in the air, obviously not even bothering. Cho reckoned Potter couldn't see anything at all, with those glasses.
The game stretched on. Roger grumbled that it was dinnertime and he was getting hungry, but of course, no one left. Madam Hooch called a time out, and after that, Harry seemed more confident on his broom. Everyone was wet and rather miserable, hoping against hope that someone would find the Snitch. No one was even sure of the score anymore. Roger thought that Gryffindor was up, but Cho argued that it was Hufflepuff. The arguing helped pass the time.
And then, suddenly, Cedric zoomed across the field, and Harry quickly tried to reach the same spot. Cho squinted and thought she saw a glimmer of gold between them. She cheered for Cedric, though the wind snatched her words away before anyone but her nearest neighbors heard them.
But suddenly, a silence began to descend, even drowning out the wind and rain. It was very confusing, but nearly tangible, and everyone looked around with wide eyes. Suddenly a second-year girl shrieked and pointed down, and everyone looked. Over a hundred Dementors stood there, hooded heads up towards the players and spectators. Cold washed over everyone, many people began to cry, and Roger was settling down into a cloud of gloom, remembering Cho and Cedric smiling and laughing at each other, when suddenly, three things happened.
Harry Potter fell off his broom, obviously unconscious.
Dumbledore summoned a huge Partronus to drive the Dementors away before yelling something in the direction of Harry just as he was about to hit the ground, and everything became clearer.
A determined Cedric Diggory's hand closed around the Snitch.
The game was over. Hufflepuff had won. Under other circumstances, Cho might have gone to congratulate Cedric Diggory, but as it was, Cedric was nowhere to be seen, and Cho, shaking with both the rain and the aftermath of the Dementors' advent, did not want to linger on the pitch. So, she allowed Roger, who was holding the umbrella in one hand and had the other one firmly around her trembling shoulders, lead her back inside the castle.
By the time all the confusion and chaos over the Dementors' appearance on the Quidditch pitch had been sorted out, it was quite late. Roger made a small detour to the kitchen and came out with a slice of warm apple pie and a cup of hot cocoa before heading back to Ravenclaw Tower. When he finally entered the common room, Cho was putting away her books and making her way towards the portrait hole.
"Cho, don't you want some food? And remember, I have something I need to talk to you about." Roger looked at her, wondering where on earth she was going at this hour. Cho gave him am apologetic look.
"I'm really sorry, Roger. Cedric told me he needed to tell me something really important. But I'll be back later, okay? I will talk to you afterwards, I promise. Have a nice evening!" And with that, she ran out, leaving him standing there transfixed, food still in his hands.
"Have a nice evening? Not bloody likely!" he muttered to himself.
Sitting down at a table, he pulled out his Advanced Charms homework, and forced himself to concentrate on that... Charms... not Cho and Cedric together... she said that there was nothing going on between them... Charms... Charms... his quill fell from his fingers to the floor. Bending down to pick it up, he saw a scrap of parchment lying under the table. Curious, he opened it up and read the short words written on it, and then, promptly wished that he hadn't. On it, written in Cedric Diggory's neat handwriting, were the words:
Cho,
Meet me in the Astronomy Tower. I have to tell you something really important.
I think I like someone.
-Ced
No studying for Charms got done that night.
Cho was quite oblivious to the fact that Roger's world was collapsing around this ears as she made her way to the Astronomy Tower. She wondered what was so important that she was breaking curfew, but yet again, she had rather wanted to talk to Ced about what had happened after the game. She wasn't entirely sure what had gone on, she only knew what the whole school knew-the game would not be replayed, Harry Potter was in the Hospital Wing, and there was a rumor that Oliver Wood had tried to drown himself in the showers.
She walked up the stairs to see Cedric, eyes to the sky, hands clasped behind him, looking raptly at the stars. He didn't turn, for he hadn't heard her come in.
"Hello, Ced," Cho said softly. "Are you all right?"
He turned around then, and the look of desperation in his eyes was obvious. "Thanks for coming, Cho."
She walked over and hugged him. "Don't be silly. I always come."
He returned the hug. "It's what I love about you. You're always such a good friend."
She saw that he wasn't quite ready to talk about whatever he had called her up here for, so she asked about something else. "I heard the score of the game still stands. You were sixty points up. What happened?"
Cedric sighed. "I tried to ask for a rematch when I realized what had happened. I didn't see him falling, you know. But… Hooch and McGonagall and Dumbledore and even Wood would have none of it, so eventually I had to admit defeat… victory, rather."
Cho nodded. "That was very nice of you," she said honestly. "I don't know that I would have had the compassion to do the same thing."
Cedric looked tortured. "It isn't just compassion, Cho. It's… well… is Harry all right?" he asked abruptly. "They wouldn't let me into the Infirmary, said the team was already in there, and I was very worried…"
Cho shook her head, wondering about the use of the first name, suddenly. "I wouldn't know. Dumbledore said he was all right, though. He'll probably be out and about tomorrow."
Cedric nodded fervently. "I hope so… I feel miserable about it as it is."
Cho rolled her eyes. "Please. Why should you be miserable? The Dementors weren't your fault, and he would have fallen whether you caught the Snitch or not."
He looked uncomfortable. "It's not just that. It's that… well… I… Harry, you know… it's…"
Seeing Cedric stutter and remembering his note, Cho's eyes widened. "Oh no."
Cedric grimaced. "Oh yes."
Cho hugged him again, resting her head comfortably on his chest. "You don't make it easy on yourself, do you?"
She felt Cedric sigh. "You don't choose who you fall in love with, Cho."
"Yes, yes, I know." She yawned widely. "I'm really tired, I stayed up most of the night yesterday. Do you mind if we sit down?"
Cedric nodded. "Sure. Here, look, I asked Dumbledore about that sleeping bag charm." He pointed his wand and muttered, and a big fluffy blanket appeared on the floor. "At least your robes won't get dirty."
"Yeah. Thanks, Ced." They sat down, she leaned her head against him, and before she realized it, had fallen asleep. Cedric smiled down at her fondly, then pulled up the free end of the blanket to cover her and leaned his head against the wall, hoping that he, too, might get some rest.
For the twentieth time that night, Roger looked at his watch. It was now two in the morning. And still, Cho had not returned. The untouched pie and cocoa still stood on the table, now ice-cold. Roger felt his ire grow exponentially with every passing minute. What the devil was she doing up there in the Astronomy Tower with that blasted Cedric Diggory? Actually, come to think of it, he did not want to know.
Everyone else had gone to bed, and the common room was deserted. However, Roger, pacing around the common room with his fists clenched, did not feel sleepy in the least. Oh, no! He was entirely too angry and hurt for rest to come to him.
Why had Cho decided to go and talk to Diggory instead of him? What did Diggory have that he didn't? She knew, she must have known that he had something important to tell her, but decided instead to go talk to Cedric bloody Diggory instead! Why? Why?! Unless…
Unless she had figured out what it was that he was going to tell her. Unless she realized that he felt more than friendship for her. And she did not want that. Because she did not and would never think of him that way. Because she liked Diggory that way, not him. And what she had said, about nothing going on between the two of them, was a lie.
Trembling in hurt anger, he stopped pacing for a moment, leaning against the wall for support. Maybe… maybe he had been jumping to conclusions about her? Maybe it was truly harmless? He glanced at his watch again. Three o'clock. No, it couldn't be. She was still in the Astronomy Tower. Thus, Diggory's confession of his feelings to her must have been well received and accepted, and right now, they were probably… almost involuntarily, one fist slammed brutally into the wall. Had there not been tapestries covering the entire surface, he would likely have broken several fingers. As it was, painful bruises started to form instantaneously along the split knuckles. But he barely noticed the pain of the flesh in the far-greater pain of the soul.
He paced the common room, now the only one left awake. He felt like a caged animal with nothing to take his rage out upon. He looked at his watch. Four o'clock. Damn it. Damn and blast it all to hell, he was going to go get her.
He nearly ran out of the common room and kept his breakneck pace up until he reached the stairs which ascended into the darkness of the Astronomy Tower. There he stopped, suddenly not entirely sure he wanted to go up and see for himself. Cho was, after all, entitled to some manner of privacy in her personal business, though it irked him to no end to admit it. And… well, he just didn't think he could take it if he were to walk up there and see them… no. No, he couldn't do it.
He narrowly missed punching the wall again when Mrs. Norris came up the hall. Seeing her, he sprinted back to the Ravenclaw Common to pace again. This was turning out to be the longest night of his life.
***
The sky had cleared overnight, and Cho was now running back to her common room, very disheveled and cursing herself for falling asleep, as she had only been awakened by the first ray of sunlight hitting her face. She felt horrible, especially because she had promised to talk to Roger, and now he was doubtless asleep. She had meant to go back, but Ced hadn't woken her up… They were incredibly lucky Mr. Filch hadn't decided to check up there the night before. It could have ended with expulsion for either or both of them.
Cursing under her breath, she approached the portrait. "Where have you been?" Rowena Ravenclaw's stern face asked her.
"Out," Cho answered shortly. "Canta per me," she added, and the portrait swung open, still looking very disapproving.
Entering the common room, she saw a familiar head of black hair visible over the top of the couch. "Roger? I'm back. I'm so sorry I stayed for long, I really didn't mean to! What did you need to talk to me about? I'm here now so…" her voice faltered and died away when he stood up and she saw the expression on his face. Fury like she'd never seen before, along with a cold mistrust.
Roger had started when she had come in. Six o'clock. She had been out all bloody night! Getting up from the couch to look at her, he took in her rumpled robes, her tousled, unbraided hair, and his suspicions were confirmed. "What in damnation were you doing up there?! Do you realize that you were up in the bloody Astronomy Tower all night long?!"
She winced slightly, "Well, Cedric had something really important to tell me. I'm really sorry, but afterwards I fell asleep and didn't wake up 'till now. I really had meant to come back to talk to you."
Roger gave a cynical laugh, "Oh, and what insurmountably important thing did he have to tell you? Why didn't you come back immediately after he told you? I was up all bloody night waiting for you to come back, nearly went up to that tower to see what you were up to!"
Cho looked scandalized, "I can't tell you what he told me, it's confidential! If he had wanted you to know, he would have told you! I just stayed with him a bit because it was really bothering him and he wanted some company and comfort. It's not like anything happened; surely you don't think that he would do anything bad to me?"
Roger paused for a moment. She was looking at him blankly, big brown eyes wide with confusion. But he knew that Cho was capable of pulling perfect blank faces when she was so inclined, no matter what she was thinking and feeling. Finally, blue eyes dark and narrowed with anger, voice cold as ice, he hissed out between clenched teeth, "A likely story, Chang… fifty points from Ravenclaw for staying out all night, and be thankful it's not ten times that!" Saying so, he stormed out of the common room, leaving a shocked Cho behind, a hurt expression on her face.