Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and everything related is property of SquareSoft. So there.
Author's note: Sorry about the formatting problems...I'm not sure what happened. I hope this looks better!
Chapter 7: At What Cost?
Scene: Headmaster Cid's Office
Five Months Later
Squall stood in his SeeD uniform next to Zell, whom he'd recently appointed his Deputy Commander. Zell, also in his SeeD uniform, fidgeted uncomfortably. I can't believe we're here for this. I honestly never thought I'd see this day. He glanced at Zell, who snapped back to attention, waiting for the short ceremony to begin. Even though they're not at each other's throats anymore, Zell still isn't too keen on Seifer. Some wounds heal slowly.
He then looked over at Quistis, on the opposite side of the office. She stood at attention, but had the proudest smile that he had ever seen her wear. Of course, he knew exactly why she was so proud. At the end of this ceremony she would be receiving her Instructor's license again.
He then looked at the line of six SeeD graduates that stood before them. They had quite a varied crew this time. A good, well-rounded skill set, which would help in continuing to restore SeeD's ranks.
Cid stood proudly in his white shirt, slacks, tie, and red vest, his hands clasped behind his back. He adjusted his small glasses, spread his arms, and said, "On behalf of myself and all SeeDs worldwide, I wish to welcome you all to the ranks of SeeD, the elite mercenary force of the Gardens! From here on out, you will be dispatched all over the world, defending the people from oppression and fear. It is with great honor that I present your final grade reports and SeeD ranking."
Squall moved to Cid's side, carrying six ornate blue binders. They approached the first graduate in line, a tall young woman of seventeen with a calculating look on her face.
Squall handed him the top blue binder, and Cid handed it to the young woman, saying to her, "Remember to trust your instincts as well as your intellect." The woman nodded.
Cid and Squall went across the line of students, Cid handing them each their grade report as he offered them words of advice and encouragement.
"Don't forget that you rely on your teammates as much as they rely on you."
"Your father must be very proud of you."
"I can't wait to see your planned improvements to the computer system."
"Never be afraid of fear, just remember that you can control it."
Finally, they reached the last student in line. He stood out from the rest of the group, being the tallest and most muscular of them. He also looked to be the most mature, and was certainly the oldest of the six. However, he had chosen to leave his tan trench coat in his dormitory, opting to look as official as possible for his field exam. His last chance at redemption, he had told Quistis.
Squall handed Cid the final grade report, and Cid in turn handed it to Seifer, with much relish. "I knew you could do it, son. Just remember to keep yourself disciplined, and you will go far."
Seifer smiled and nodded, and glanced at Squall. Six months ago, he'd have expected the Commander to be glaring at him, unbelieving of Seifer's success. However, he saw a small, satisfied smile on Squall's face. I guess time changes everybody, he thought.
Cid and Squall walked away from Seifer and returned to the center of the office. Cid said, "I would also like to take this time to recognize Quistis Trepe. Ms. Trepe, front and center."
Quistis marched around Cid and stopped in front of him, facing the older gentleman. She saluted him, and he returned the salute.
"For excellence in her actions, bravery and cool-headedness in battle, and compassion for her colleagues, I hereby present Quistis Trepe with her Instructor's license." Cid handed her a framed document, grinning proudly at her. "Instructor Trepe, congratulations."
"Thank you, sir," she said saluting him again. When Cid returned the salute, she turned to her right and returned to the spot where she'd been standing before.
Cid addressed the graduates again. "I wish to once again congratulate you all for your hard work, dedication, and perseverance. As you know, the Graduation Ball starts in a few hours. We would like for you all to attend, enjoy yourselves, and get a chance to meet your fellow SeeDs. Now, though, it's time for you to join your former classmates, where you will tell them about what it's like to be a new SeeD. It won't be long before some of them are standing here, receiving this honor. Once again, welcome! Dismissed."
The graduates, including Seifer, all turned around and left the office. Once they were gone, Cid closed the doors using the remote control on his desk.
Squall and Zell went over to Quistis, giving her warm handshakes and hugs. "Congratulations, Quisty," said Squall. "You've definitely earned it."
"Yeah," said Zell. "I still can't believe you got Sefier to behave himself."
"Well, if anyone could, it's this young woman," said Cid. "Now, I'm sorry to push you out, Zell and Quistis, but I need to discuss some business with Squall. A new mission that should be perfect for some of our new SeeDs."
"Yes, sir," said Zell and Quistis, who exited the office a second later.
"'Perfect for some of our new SeeDs?' Sounds like you mean Seifer," said Squall.
Cid shrugged. "He's been cooped up in Garden for a long time. I can tell he's itching for a mission, and this will let him stretch his legs a little."
Squall gave a small smile. "I have a feeling he'll like it."
*That evening, Quistis entered the Garden ballroom. She wore a red knee-length skirt with silver trim, somewhat revealing at the bust, with cross straps in the back. Her hair was down below her shoulders in flowing golden curls, thanks to the visiting Rinoa.
Just after she entered the room, she saw her friends congregating near the refreshment table. She strode across the room and joined them.
"Hey, Quisty!" said Zell, holding a glass of champagne.
"Come on over, Instructor!" Zell's girlfriend, Christine, looked over at her and smiled.
Quistis smiled back at her. Christine was a shy young lady who had graduated a few months ago. Before that, she and Zell had been dating since just after he himself had graduated. She was very nice to Zell's friends, but was too shy to let them really get to know her.
"Hey, Quisty," said Rinoa. "Like the hair."
"Thanks," replied Quistis. "It's one of the things I've missed about you since you've been gone."
"It's only for another month, thank God," replied Rinoa. "When it's over, I will be a full-fledged Children's Instructor. And speaking of which, congratulations on your promotion!"
"Now we have to get used to calling her 'Instructor Trepe' again," said Squall. He took a sip of the champagne in his glass.
Quistis' eyes traveled down to Rinoa's stomach. Rinoa had done a good job of selecting a gown that all but made invisible her swelling abdomen. "How's little Alexa doing?"
Rinoa smiled and placed a hand on her stomach. "She's doing fine. Luckily, she hasn't started keeping me up late at night yet. But, there's still four months left for that." She sipped from her water glass.
"I'm surprised Selphie and Irvine aren't doing that. Were they able to come back from Trabia with you?" asked Quistis.
Rinoa shook her head. "Selphie's working on getting her Instructor's license, and Irvine got sent out on a mission a couple days ago. But they seem to be enjoying the time they do have together. They miss us all a lot, but they're pretty happy living there. Selphie loves being able to spend time with the friends she'd left behind."
Quistis nodded. She started scanning the ballroom, looking for someone. Where is he? I'm kind of surprised he isn't here. At the very least, to gloat to everyone that he made it.
"Looking for Seifer?" asked Squall.
"Yeah, I figured he'd be here. I haven't gotten a chance to congratulate him in person."
"He'll show up, if I know Seifer," said Squall. "At least to show off."
Quistis' eyes stopped when they reached the doors to the balcony. The doors were mostly closed, but she could just see a familiar figure outside, wearing a tan trench coat.
"I think I see him," said Quistis, quietly.
"Come on, Squall," said Rinoa, grabbing his arm. "'Waltz for the Moon' is coming on. Let's dance."
"Wait, let me put down my...whoa!" he nearly dropped his champagne glass on the floor as Rinoa signaled Christine.
"Oh, oh, yeah, I see," said Christine, starting to pull Zell toward the dance floor. "Come on Zell, we should go dance, too."
"Hey, don't have to twist my arm!" said Zell, putting down his glass and letting his girlfriend pull him out onto the floor.
Squall was able to hand off his glass to a waitress before they reached the dancing mob.
"Just like our first dance," said Rinoa.
"Yeah, I just hope you don't run off to talk to Cid halfway through."
Rinoa laughed as she wrapped her arms around Squall's neck and they started swaying to the music. "Nah, you're much cuter than he is. Besides, you're dancing much better this time."
Quistis walked around the dancers, milling SeeDs, and lone wolves, until she reached the balcony. Instead of opening the door and going outside, though, she stood and waited. Is he talking to someone? she thought. She decided to listen for a minute.
Seifer leaned on the balcony railing, looking out at the night sky. He'd gotten himself a small glass of whiskey, but hadn't touched it. Drinking wasn't fun anymore.
Instead, he scanned the Alcauld Plains around Garden. He could see the silhouettes of some roaming monsters on the snow-covered ground below, none venturing too close to Garden's protective rings. He sighed. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be a monster, roaming free, just attacking anyone who comes close, and not caring whether or not your comrades die, so long as you survive.
He shook his head. "Yeah, right," he said out loud. He didn't imagine that he could ever not care. Everybody thinks of me as this callous, overbearing jerk. Not that I really care what they think. No, he corrected himself, that's a lie. I do care what some people think. Is that weakness? Or am I just tired of being alone?
That's your own fault, Seifer, he thought. You got too cocky, and the only ones that mattered to you, to whom you mattered, paid the price. Now here he was, doing what he had thought impossible less than a year ago. Living a life that he thought was better than he deserved.
"I made it, guys," he said. "I wish you could be here to see me." He looked down at his glass again, and decisively swallowed the contents in one gulp. At least they bought good whiskey for this party, he thought, setting the glass down on the floor. He wouldn't go back for seconds.
"Seifer?"
Seifer turned around slowly and saw the most gorgeous creature standing before him. Wearing a slightly revealing red dress with silver accents, and with her hair flowing gracefully in golden curls, she looked to him to be an angelic cruise ship stewardess.
He chuckled at himself. That's the worst analogy you've ever come up with, Seifer, he thought.
"What's so funny?" asked Quistis.
Seifer's smile faded. "Nothing. I'm just...thinking."
Quistis approached Seifer, warmly looking into his eyes. "Someone else I know used to do too much thinking. All that does is make you sad, and keep you from enjoying life."
Seifer turned away, leaning on the railing again. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind, Instructor."
Quistis walked to the railing beside him, pushing aside his glass with the toe of her strappy shoe. "Seifer," she said, "I never got a chance to congratulate you. You did extremely well in the exam today. I'm very proud of you."
"Thanks," replied Seifer, not looking at her. "And, congratulations on your promotion."
"Thanks," replied Quistis. "I have you to thank for it."
Seifer shook his head. "I'm the one that got you fired, remember?"
Quistis sighed. "Seifer, I shouldn't have put that on you. I was angry with you, and I did blame you some for it, but it was really my fault. I was too young and inexperienced to be a good Instructor. In a way, your not making it was my fault."
Seifer waved his hand, but still didn't look at her. "We could go on like that all night, and I don't really want to do the blame game thing."
Quistis nodded and leaned onto the railing, looking out at whatever Seifer was watching. She shivered slightly when some cold winter air slipped through the heat shield that protected Garden's balcony. The thermal shield glitched again, she thought. I hope they remembered to close the door to the Quad, so the cold doesn't get into the corridors. The shield was supposed to prevent the open-air sections of Garden from freezing up, but it blinked out often.
Seifer saw her react to the cold. In a gentlemanlike manner, he removed his trench coat and placed it around Quistis. She wrapped it around herself, absorbing the little bit of Seifer's warmth that had stayed in the coat. She looked at him inquisitively, asking silently if he would be cold. He shook his head. Wearing his new SeeD uniform, he figured he'd be warm enough if the heat shield failed again. They both looked back out at the snowfields.
Silence passed for a few minutes. Then, Seifer snuck a look at Quistis. God, she's gorgeous. I'm really starting to think she likes me. Who'd have thought that? I don't know. It would be nice not to have to be alone anymore. I mean, Squall and I seem to be getting along okay, but I don't think he'd ever accept me as a friend. Zell probably still wants to cold-cock me. And Rinoa...she's nice, but she should hate me for everything I did to her. Plus, she's so wrapped up in Squall and becoming a teacher, she probably doesn't have room for an old friend.
Quistis turned her head slightly, and caught Seifer looking at her. He quickly turned his head away, forcing a small smile onto Quistis' lips. He was looking at me. What does that mean? I'm attracted to him, but I don't want to make the same mistake I did with Squall.
Don't forget, she replied to herself, Seifer actually treats you like a person, not as an annoyance, like Squall used to.
Quistis sighed. "I heard you talking a few minutes ago. I figured you were with someone else out here."
Seifer hesitated for a second. Then he said, "Nope, just me and the night out here."
"I heard you say 'I made it guys. I wish you could be here to see me.' Were you talking to Fujin and Raijin?" She turned to face him.
Seifer still leaned on the railing, but lowered his head and shut his eyes. "I don't really wanna talk about it."
"I think you do," said Quistis. "Seifer, you're lonely. I know what it looks like because I know how it feels. Please. Please tell me what you've been hiding inside."
Seifer sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "All right, Quistis. Fine. You wanna hear my sob story? After you guys saved the world from Ultimecia, I felt control of myself return. I realized what I'd done, what I'd been manipulated into doing, and I hated myself for it. I nearly turned myself over to the authorities, wanting to be executed to put an end to my misery. Instead, though, I met back up with Fujin and Raijin in Balamb. They didn't care what I'd done, and they believed me when I told them I couldn't stop myself from doing it. We became a posse again.
"I had some money left over from when I...when Ultimecia made me the General of the Galbadian forces. It wasn't a whole lot, but enough for us to get started on a new life. We started traveling to small countries around the world, working as mercenaries. Galbadia had a bounty on my head, but none of the places we went to wanted to do them any favors, no matter how much money they'd get for turning me over.
"We did small jobs for Dollet, Winhill; you name it, we went there. We worked out how to live off the land, and believe it or not, Raijin actually learned how to catch edible fish." He laughed. "So we were able to save up a lot of money, which those two goofballs insisted we'd use on my defense if and when we returned to Galbadia.
"Well, a couple months after we started on our own, we were hired by Timber to hunt down a dangerous guy by the name of Marv Oberlin. The guy was a killer and a rapist, basically a really bad guy. Raijin was kinda nervous about going after a guy like that, no matter how high the bounty was, but I told him we could handle it. Fujin, she just said 'FOLLOW' and came with me. Raijin came too.
"We hunted this guy for about two days in the woods around Timber. Finally, we spotted him trying to get up a steep hill, probably trying to cross over into Galbadia. Between the three of us, we were able to chase the guy down and subdue him pretty easily, or so we thought.
"What we didn't know was that he was a master of concealed weapons. We got his shotgun from him, but he had these knives built into the toes of his boots. He took a swipe at me, cut my leg, and sent me falling down the hill. When I stopped from falling and got back up, I saw him pull a small gun from his sleeve and shoot Fujin and Raijin dead."
Quistis gasped and brought her hands up to her mouth. My God! she thought. She hadn't much cared for Seifer's posse when they were at Garden, but she never wanted them to die. And she could see how much their deaths had torn Seifer apart, down to his very soul.
Seifer continued, "He...he started to run back up the hill, but I was furious that he'd hurt them. I took a small dagger that I had on me, and threw it at him, hoping to hit him in the leg or something to take him down. My aim was too good. It hit him right in the back of his head, at the base of his skull. Killed him instantly, and he went down the hill too.
"Fujin and Raijin both got caught up in some trees when they fall, so I had to go back up the hill to reach them. Raijin...Raijin h-had..." He stopped for a second, trying to strengthen himself. "Raijin had been shot right between the eyes, and he'd died instantly. Fujin, though, took it in the chest, right through the heart. She lived for a few minutes longer. I tried to stop the bleeding, even tried Curaga spells, but no matter what I did, I saw her get paler and weaker. Before she..she died, she said to me, 'It was fun, Seifer.' She closed her eye, and she was gone. They were all I had left, and they were gone!"
Quistis nearly melted with sorrow for the man that stood before her. She'd had no idea of the pain he was carrying through him.
Seifer continued, his voice as devoid of emotion as he could muster, "It took me two whole days of digging with my gunblade to make their graves on top of that hill. After that, I carried Oberlin to Timber's authorities, dropped him on their doorstep, and left. I didn't want the bounty. It was meaningless to me after I lost my posse...my friends. I went back to Galbadia and gave myself up for trial. I hoped it would be a quick trial, and that they'd execute me for crimes against the state. But Edea somehow heard about the trial, and came to testify on my behalf. I don't know how, but she got them to acquit me.
"I could have gone and cleared my name weeks before that, and Fujin, Raijin, and I would still be together. Maybe we'd all be here tonight, all graduated as SeeDs." He shook his head. "I took all the money we had saved up and bribed Headmaster Martine to let me come back. He said he would have done it without the bribe, but took the money anyway, calling it 'tuition'. I think he pocketed it. Anyway, this is what Fujin and Raijin wanted for me, to get into SeeD. So here I am now."
Quistis' heart bled for Seifer. All the pain, all the loss, how could he have kept it inside all this time? She moved closer to him and took his hand into hers. He was turned away from her, but she could see tears running down his cheek. She raised a hand, wiped away some of them, and turned his head to face her. She then kissed him on the forehead, and looked into his eyes with sympathy. Am I feeling what I think I'm feeling? she asked herself.
Seifer looked into her eyes. She...kissed me? What does it mean? I've been so alone...I don't know...Does she...?
Seifer placed his hand on her cheek. Her eyes closed, and she leaned into his touch, enjoying it. His other arm went around her waist, and she ran her hands up to his shoulders. She now saw not the cocky young man that had betrayed them all, but a vulnerable, lonely man who needed love. Her love.
Seifer, for the first time, saw her not as his superior officer, but as a woman that needed love as much as he did. He felt her tremble under his touch, and knew at that point what they both needed.
They drew each other together, and kissed gently. Quistis suddenly felt fear. Fear of loving this man. Fear of herself. But instead of breaking the kiss, she wrapped her arms around him and held him tighter.
Seifer's heart skipped a beat as he felt her squeeze him tighter. He crossed his arms around her back, holding onto her for dear life, afraid to let this moment slip away.
Quistis, what have you done to me? I feel so...so alive, like I never have before.
Seifer, how did I never know you were such a tenderhearted man? I must have been blind all the time I knew you.
Is this a dream? Then I never want to wake up.
Is this a dream? Then I want to sleep forever.
They kept their lips locked together for what seemed like an eternity, not wanting to separate, even to breathe. If they did, they were both afraid that the dream would end.
*Quistis awoke in her bed the next morning, feeling refreshed and alive like never before. She got out of bed, her silk nightgown brushing sensually against her skin. She clasped her hands against her chest and closed her eyes, reliving last night.
After they had finished kissing, Seifer had shyly turned away from her. Concerned that he regretted their kiss, she asked him what was wrong. He looked at her, and said he'd never been so happy in his entire life. She told him the same thing and, arm-in-arm, they went back into the ballroom to dance away the few remaining hours of the evening. She was the envy of every woman at the Ball.
That had been her dream. In reality, after their kiss ended, Seifer walked away from her. She tried to stop him, asking him what was wrong. He stopped for a second, and without looking at her, told her that he couldn't, that it wouldn't be fair to them if he were happy after he caused their deaths. He ran off, leaving her alone on the balcony. She just spent the next few minutes out there alone, crying, still wearing his coat. Finally, she left the ball, ignoring her friends' inquiries as to what was wrong.
She went to his dorm and knocked on the door, hoping to get him to talk to her. When he didn't answer, she hung his coat on the doorknob and headed for her own room. When she'd gotten here, she decided to relish the moment she'd shared with Seifer, instead of the pain of his leaving so suddenly. She'd put on her silk nightgown and fantasized about how the night could have gone.
Quistis looked at herself in her vanity mirror. She felt tears try to push themselves out of her eyes, but she forced them to stay put.
Seifer does love me, she thought. A man can lie with his words or his touch, but not with his kiss. He does love me. And I love him.
That thought made her shiver. She'd said those words about Squall before, but it had only ended up causing her more heartache than she'd had the strength to bear. But Squall never returned my love, she thought. Seifer did. I know it.
She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. Today was her first day as an Instructor again, and she would be receiving her assignment this morning. She wanted to make sure she was on the ball, because this time, she was going to stay an Instructor for good.
*Seifer sat in the SeeD car on the train bound for Dollet. He played with his Hyperion gunblade, constantly loading and re-loading it. One of his companions, Gelessa Coltrain, who'd been a SeeD for nearly a year, was their squad captain, but she seemed a little uneasy with the job. The other, Bradden Finch, leaned back with his hands behind his head. Bradden had graduated with Seifer just yesterday, and seemed pretty sure of himself.
He should, thought Seifer. This is a cake mission. Probably just to break in two new SeeDs, and one new Captain. Can't complain, though. At least it got me out of Garden so I can think.
He still didn't know what to make of his encounter with Quistis the night before. He'd started gushing, partly because he was tired of her hounding him about Fujin and Raijin, but mostly because he wanted to finally get that all off his chest. He'd embarrassed himself so much when he started crying. Seifer Almasy never cries. Especially not in front of a woman.
Then again, he thought, would I have cried like that if she were Rinoa? Or any other woman? I doubt it. Quistis and I grew kind of close while she was getting me ready for graduation, but I didn't think we'd gotten that close. But that kiss, that was something. While we kissed, I could have sworn I heard a voice in my head say 'You love this woman.' But I can't...I mean, she's...Quistis. She was my Instructor. But...she's my age. Would it be so bad for me to be in love, I mean really be in love?
Seifer decided to stop thinking for a while. Quistis was right, all that does is bring you down. He set his Hyperion down on the couch and leaned back, mimicking Bradden's position.
Gelessa had been wringing her hands in her lap, as if she was about to make a speech to the entire world. This was her first SeeD mission as Captain, and she wanted to do her best. She moved closer to Seifer, hoping a little conversation would ease her nerves.
"Hey, Seifer," she said, her voice slightly shaky. "So, I hear you're friends with the Commander, right?"
Seifer ignored her and shut his eyes. This isn't what I need right now. Some babbling bimbo trying to make small talk.
"You know," Gelessa continued, "I took the field exam with his wife, Rinoa. She was my Squad Captain. I don't think I would have passed without her help."
"Mm-hmm," said Seifer, finally acknowledging her presence. He hoped that his response would get her to go away, but it seemed to actually empower her more.
"So that scar you have, Commander Leonhart gave that to you, didn't he? And then you, like gave him one?"
Seifer rolled his eyes under his eyelids. This kid won't go away, will she? "No, I gave him his scar, and then he gave me mine. Not that it's your business."
"Oh," said Gelessa. Then, changing the subject, she said, "So, they're having a real problem with monsters in Dollet, huh? A lot of Anacondours and stuff they want cleaned out of the communications tower?"
"If that's what it says in the mission profile, then that's it," said Seifer. He finally turned away from her, determined to ignore any more attempts at conversation.
Gelessa, finally getting the message that Seifer didn't want to talk, moved back to her end of the couch. She inspected her gauntlets and shin guards, making sure they were secure. As a hand-to-hand combat expert, she needed the guards to make sure she didn't destroy the skin on her hands and legs when she attacked any foes. When she was satisfied they were secure, she stood up and started to perform a kata, trying to focus herself in her form and not in her first-command jitters.
Seifer caught a glance of her taking swings in the air, and he just shook his head and sighed. Great, another Chicken-Wuss that swats at flies all day. I just can't win, can I?
*Quistis walked into Cid's office, having showered and dressed. She wore her Instructor's uniform, and her hair was bound in a bun at the top of her head, as usual.
"Good morning, Instructor," said Cid, standing up behind his desk. "I'm sure you're eager to get started with your classes."
"Yes, sir, I'm very excited about it," Quistis said honestly.
Cid motioned for her to sit, and then sat down after she did. He handed her a class roster. "Your first sessions will be GFs and Junctioning. Your class will be first-year candidates, within the 14- to 15-year-old range. Most of them have had practice with basic junctioning of GFs, but don't have any magic to their names. Will you be able to start teaching them tomorrow morning at oh-eight-hundred?"
"Yes, sir!" said Quistis enthusiastically. She was extremely excited to begin teaching again.
"Excellent. By the way, I'd just like to congratulate you once again on how you've turned Seifer around. I've gotten so many comments about how much more well behaved he is toward his fellow students, and toward his superiors. He definitely earned his graduation yesterday."
"Thank you, sir," said Quistis. "Actually, I do have a question about Seifer. When is his first mission? I would think it'd be appropriate for me to see him off."
Cid tilted his head, "Oh, I'm sorry, Quistis. He already left early this morning with Gelessa Coltrain and Bowler Finch on a mission to Dollet. I didn't think to tell you so you could see your student off."
Quistis head dropped slightly. "No, it's all right, sir. He doesn't need me holding his hand all the way. I know he'll do well."
*Rinoa stood in the living room of her and Squall's apartment, folding her last pair of pants. She placed it in her daypack and sighed. Can't believe I have to go back already. I really miss everyone here. At least I get to see Selphie and Irvine when they're not busy.
There was a knock at the door. "Come in," said Rinoa. To her delight, Quistis entered the room. "Hey, Quisty! Come to see me off?"
Quistis walked over to her and gave her a hug. "I've hardly gotten a chance to see you while you're here."
Rinoa sighed again. "I know. They could only give me a couple days to come back for the Ball. But I had to come. After all, every Ball is kind of like an anniversary for Squall and me."
Quistis smiled and looked at the floor. "Yeah, I remember you dragging him onto the dance floor, kicking and screaming all the way, that first time."
"I've almost broken him, though. Not much kicking and screaming last night."
They both laughed for a second. Then, Quistis said, "Where's Squall?"
Rinoa sighed. "Oh, he's getting me some lunch from the cafeteria. He doesn't want me to do any unnecessary walking, so I don't strain my back or anything. I think he's afraid that because I'm pregnant I'm suddenly made of glass."
"He just loves you a lot, and wants the best for you. And for Alexa. Besides, I hear that husbands often baby their wives when they're pregnant."
"Well, he doesn't have to. After all, I'm..." she stopped just short of saying 'I'm a sorceress'. Instead, she said, "I'm in tip-top shape, and I have to handle Trabia's winter for the next month, which is way worse than Balamb's."
Quistis nodded. "So you'll be back for good in about a month, right?"
"Yeah," said Rinoa. "Training is fun, because I get to work with so many different kids, but I'll be glad when I can come back home. Selphie and Irv will miss me, though."
"Well, we miss you here. When you're gone, it's just me, Squall, and Zell. Not much of the old crew left."
What about Seifer? thought Rinoa. "How's Seifer enjoying life as a SeeD?"
Quistis crossed her arms, and her expression grew a little darker. "Don't know. I haven't seen him. He left early this morning on his first mission. With your friend Gelessa, by the way."
Rinoa tilted her head. "Oh, Gelessa! She's a little nervous sometimes, but she's a good kid. He's in good hands."
Quistis sighed and sat down on the couch. Rinoa's face turned into concern, and she sat down next to her friend. "Quisty, what's wrong?"
"I...I don't know how to tell you this, but it's tearing me up inside. I'm in...love, Rinny." Quistis brushed her hair back behind her ear.
"Oh, congratulations, Quisty!" said Rinoa, trying to lift her friend's mood. "Who is it? Is it Nida?"
Quistis frowned for a second, and then let out a chuckle. "No, it's not Nida. I don't think he's into...you know...women."
"Ah," said Rinoa, nodding understandingly. "Zell?"
"C'mon, Rinny, I'm being serious," said Quistis, trying to suppress a giggle. I knew she'd help cheer me up.
"Well, I never thought I'd see you fall for Seifer, but even I've noticed a change in him since he came back. And I don't see him very much," said Rinoa, as if she'd planned this statement ahead of time.
Quistis looked at her friend, surprised. "Is it that obvious?"
"Come on, Quisty. You've spent practically every evening for the last five months with him. You started out hating his guts, but by the time his field exam came around, you were telling everyone about how well he was doing, how respectful he'd gotten, how hard he was working...I knew you were getting a crush on him." Rinoa put her arm around Quistis and pulled her friend over to lean on her shoulder.
"I...I just don't think it's a crush, Rinny," said Quistis, her lower lip trembling slightly. "I mean, I think he cares for me, too. I guess."
Rinoa brushed some errant strands of golden hair out of Quistis' face. "I think there's something between you two. Last night, we all saw him storm from the balcony out of the ballroom, like he was about to cry. Seifer, about to cry. It would take an act of God, or of love, to do that to him. Then, a few minutes later, we saw you practically run out of there, crying."
Quistis let out a small, embarrassed whine. Rinoa continued, "The guys thought Seifer said something snide to you, and they were going to go tell him off. It was all I could do to get them to cool it. I was actually hoping I'd get a chance to see you before I left today, so we could talk about it. So, what happened?"
Quistis sighed. "Well, the whole thing was almost surreal, like Seifer was a whole different person. He was out on the balcony, talking to himself, when I went out to meet him."
"Seifer talks to himself?" asked Rinoa. Wow, he and Squall really are a lot alike.
Quistis nodded, then continued, "He'd only had one drink, as far as I could tell, so I know the whole thing wasn't because of the booze. We congratulated each other on his graduation and my promotion, and then just kinda looked out into the night for a little while. Then I asked him who he'd been talking to, and he just said it was nobody.
"I'd asked him before that night about why he came back, but Fujin and Raijin didn't. He just avoided the question, very Squall-like. Last night, though, I pushed him for an answer, and he told me how he met up with them after Ultimecia's control over him was released. They worked as mercenaries for a lot of the smaller nations. Then, when they were in Timber, about nine months ago, they took a job to hunt down this one really dangerous guy. When they found him, he knocked Seifer down and shot and killed Fujin and Raijin."
Rinoa brought her hands to her mouth, much as Quistis had done when she'd first heard the story. "Oh, no!"
Quistis nodded. "Seifer killed the guy, and buried Fujin and Raijin out there. Then he turned himself into Galbadia for trial, hoping they'd execute him. Instead, thanks to Edea, he was acquitted, and he decided all he had left was to come back to Garden and try one more time to graduate. He said that's what Fujin and Raijin would have wanted for him."
Quistis crossed her arms around her chest, suddenly feeling cold. "After he told me that, I just felt so sorry for him, for carrying around that guilt with him, on top of the guilt for everything he did under Ultimecia's control. I took him in close, and I kissed his forehead. I don't know if it was just to give him sympathy, or if it was more than that, but we ended up kissing each other, holding on for dear life to each other. It was..it was magic. You know how they say you can tell if a man loves you by how he kisses you?"
"Yeah," said Rinoa, thinking back to her and Squall's first kiss, about a year and a half ago.
"Well, he loved me. I don't have a doubt in my mind about it. I've kissed other guys before, but this one was totally different, like our souls connected. But then, he just...he just ran off, saying it wouldn't be fair to them if he were happy after he caused their deaths."
"He blames himself," said Rinoa. "But, it wasn't his fault, I mean, Fujin and Raijin were followers, but they were adults. They could fend for themselves. Seifer shouldn't blame himself because they were devoted to him."
"I know it, Rinny," said Quistis. "But how do I let him know that? I can't make him be happy, and I can't take another heartbreak, but I also can't deny that I'm in love with him."
Rinoa sighed. Her heart ached for her friend, but she didn't know what she could do. "Maybe you already took the first step, and got him to open up to you. If you build on that, maybe he'll learn to let you help him be happy and move on with his life."
Just then, the door opened. Squall carried in a tray loaded with hot dogs and chicken sandwiches. He also carried two bottles of water under his arm.
"Hey, Quisty, what's up?" he asked, setting the try down on the coffee table. "Want to have lunch with us?"
Quistis smiled. "Thanks, Squall, but I really should get going. I have my first class tomorrow, and I need to get ready for it." She got up and walked past Squall toward the door. She stopped for a second, and turned around toward Rinoa. "Thanks, Rinny, I really appreciate it. I'm going to miss you so much."
Rinoa smiled. "If you ever need to talk, just call me, or come and visit if you can. I'll always be here for you, Quisty."
Quistis smiled, turned, and left the apartment. Squall looked at Rinoa and asked, "Is Quisty okay? Did you find out what happened last night?"
"Yeah," said Rinoa, taking a chicken sandwich off the tray and examining it. "But I really can't talk about it. Girl stuff, you know." She winked at Squall as she took a healthy bite of the sandwich.
Squall crossed his arms and shook his head. Women, he thought.