~*Everything You Want*~
Chapter Seven: Never Is a Promise
Thalia: Poor Roger! Poor Cho! The course of true love never ran smooth, indeed. In this chapter, Roger gives Cho a present that he never meant to, and sorrow darkens their hearts like the clouds in the winter sky. Will the two sadistic authors ever give those two a break? Continue to read this fic, and all will become apparent in the end ^_^! Oh, and reviews are good, too!
Dove: Reviews are more than good. They're vital to the life of this story! So feed us many reviews, because they are the fuel that keeps us writing, seeing as college food stinks. Oh, and I have to say, poor Cecilia. She has to deal with so much stupidity. Oh, and I love Calista. That's all I have to say.
Disclaimer: In the world where we owned Harry Potter, you would discover that we did not share the boys. Be glad we don't own it.
"You'll say
Don't fear your dreams
It's easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never
Let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise
And you can't afford to lie…"
-Fiona Apple, "Never Is a Promise"
Christmas morning was really the only time Ravenclaw Tower was noisy and out of control. During the rest of the year, such frivolities as fun and noise were generally frowned upon by the studious Prefects. Any child Sorted into Ravenclaw learned quickly that fun was for holidays and Hogsmeade weekends. On Christmas, however, even those studying for O.W.L.s put their books aside, and a frenzied sort of merriment reigned in the tower, as though making up for lost time. Cho liked the energy.
Except this year, she was the only one who had stayed, other than Calista Green, a first year girl whose parents cared very little about her welfare, according to Penelope, who had talked to Cho about her lone companion before leaving for Christmas at home. Calista was cheerful enough, if very quiet. Cho had played her chess on Christmas Eve before heading back upstairs for bed.
Cho's parents were in China, as they often were during the holidays. In years past, she had stayed with the Davies family, but with Roger the way he was, she hadn't even asked, just signed up to stay the holidays at Hogwarts. She was planning a walk into Hogsmeade Christmas afternoon, though, to give him his gift and see if she could mend things.
Cho had awakened to a huge pile of gifts at the foot of her bed. There was something from every younger Ravenclaw girl, which made her smile. It was nice to be an influence on them; she was certainly a better one than Melissa or Cassandra could have been. There were packages from every member of the Quidditch team, a new rune dictionary from Penelope, and chocolate from various other Ravenclaws, including her roommates. There was a large, beribboned box which revealed a set of beautiful pale pink dress robes in a delicate silk. She shook her head at Cedric-certainly the only one of her friends well-off enough who could have guessed her dress size from just looking at her. She hung up the robes, deciding to wear them to dinner that night.
There was nothing from Roger, but she decided to hope, optimistically, that he wanted to give his gift to her in person. With that cheerful outlook, she donned a bright red sweater and a pair of black leggings, skipping down the stairs to grab Calista from her solitary post near the fire and dragging her along to breakfast, talking cheerfully the entire time.
It was still early, and the two of them grabbed a basket of muffins and a teapot before heading back up the stairs to sit on the blue velvet couches of the common room, sipping hot tea and happily inhaling the muffins.
Calista started to open up after a while, and Cho was glad she had stayed with her. The poor girl would have been all alone over Christmas, and that wasn't right in the spirit of the season at all.
"Cho?" Calista asked uncertainly. "What's it like to be in love with Roger? I'll bet it's hard. Roger's not been very nice to you lately."
Cho dropped her teacup on her lap, hissed at the scalding tea which burned through her clothing, and quickly muttered several spells to clean and dry herself off, wondering if she could look up a charm to ease burns later on. "What do you mean?" she asked, trying to be casual. "Isn't the consensus with you girls that I'm marrying Cedric?"
Calista shrugged. "That's what Glenda thinks, but she's got her head full of weddings and silly romance anyway. She's the loud one, and I don't want to argue with her about it, you know," she shrugged. "But you don't love Cedric. I watch people and you don't look at him the way you would if you loved him. You look at Roger like that, but only when he can't see. It's hard, isn't it?"
Cho swallowed and considered her options in dealing with this precocious child. She didn't love Roger Davies. She missed his friendship, but loved him? No. Of course she didn't. A girl would have to be mad to fall in love with someone with that temper. Love Roger Davies? Well, really.
"I don't feel like that about Roger. We're just friends. Or at least, we were."
Calista looked at her silently for a few minutes. "Are you going to Hogsmeade to see him today?"
"I'm trying," Cho smiled. "He can be such a prat, can't he?"
"Just a little bit," Calista agreed.
***
Despite her bravado and assurances to Calista, Cho found her optimism and certainty waning with every step towards the Davies' house. Calista had struck a nerve somehow... the quiet, disconcertingly perceptive girl's assertion that she was in love with Roger. Now, there was a preposterous idea! He was a git. Temperamental, proud, crazy, too willing to jump to conclusions, grudge-holding, always alternating between too hot to too cold... caring, kind-hearted, intelligent, deep, thoughtful, a great friend, handsome... Cho came to a dead halt. The smell of butterbeer emanating from the Three Broomsticks across the street must have been getting to her! Yes, that was it! She shook her head, black hair flying around her like a swishing cloak. Feeling slightly clearer-minded, she shrugged. Okay, she supposed that it was possible for some girl to love him. But that girl was certainly not her!!! After all, she certainly had too much self-respect to blindly put up with his overbearing temper!
Then why did you spend a small fortune getting a present for him and hoping to get him to talk to you despite the fact that he blew up at you for no reason? an impertinent voice asked in her brain. Cho set her teeth and resolutely tamped down all her conflicting thoughts about Roger. They would only make her nervous. And she couldn't afford to be nervous right now. She was walking down her street. Roger's house was three houses away. The birdbath, which had been their childhood trysting spot, was frozen over and abandoned, and at the sight of it, Cho felt her lip tremble. If only they could go back to those simple, carefree, happy days, when they were still children, playing together.
No. Must not think of that. Leng-Jing, Cho. You'll give Roger his present. You'll find out what's wrong, work that out, and everything will be fine. With that thought firmly in her mind, she put on a smile, and walked up to the door.
She had just raised her hand to knock when something made her pause. Music. That in itself was not surprising. Roger, she knew, played the piano. Many a time in the past had she heard the dulcet keys forming beautiful melodies under his fingers, from light-hearted Strauss waltzes to tempestuous Beethoven sonatas. And every Christmas that she could remember since living here, there would be Christmas carols, both Wizard and Muggle, floating from the house. But not today. Today he was playing a song that she had never heard before. A sullen tune in a minor key, mostly ice-calm, quiet notes, but now and then, the brooding melody would escalate in a stormy crescendo to anguished, rolling cadences, then quiet to the cold, gloomy melody once more. Beautiful, to be sure, but hurt and embittered. Her task would be harder than she thought. But it needed to be done, because... because she could not stand this coldness from him anymore. She raised her hand and knocked the door.
Roger Davies had been in a bad mood all day. His mother, his all-too-empathic mother, whose sensitivity and caring he had always appreciated until now, had been a little too prying and personal with the questions of why Cho had not come to stay with them that holiday. This, of course, made his mutinous mind wander to said Seeker, and before he knew it, mind and fingers seem to have allied against him and his determination to put her out of his mind as long as she was not within sight, and he found himself playing something... almost without thought... on the piano. Something soothing yet painful. And then, in the middle of the dejected ditty, there was a knock on the door. Standing up and carefully putting on a blank face, he walked to the door and opened it up. And, had his mother not appeared in the hallway at that moment, nearly slammed it shut a second later when he saw who was standing at the other side.
Cho was standing there, holding a package wrapped in blue paper in her gloved hands. "To Roger" was written in her small, neat handwriting on the tag on top, and her eyes, looking into his own, were filled with a pathetic sort of plea, as if begging for acceptance. He found that at that moment, he had absolutely nothing to say.
"Cho!" Cecilia Davies quickly reached the door and flung it open, giving her son a none-too-gentle shove to the side to let the Chinese girl in, "Happy Christmas, please come in!"
Cho hesitated, and glanced uncertainly at Roger. His face was blank, but his eyes, which had been filled with pure surprise at the sight of her a moment earlier, were now cold and impersonal once more, as if he was saying "You can come in, but it is at my mother's invitation. NOT MINE!" Her face became stricken for a brief moment before she schooled it back into a smile and turned back to Mrs. Davies. Unbeknownst to her, Cecilia Davies had already seen the fleeting exchange of sorrowful, tense glances, and made a mental note to drag the truth from her son later.
However, she insisted that the girl come in and have a cup of eggnog with them. Cho walked in, and silently held out the present to Roger. He stood still for a moment, and then, stiffly took it from her hands, thanked her coolly, and disappeared up the stairs to the sanctuary of his room, where he would not have to be face-to-face with Cedric Diggory's lov-with her.
Cecilia led Cho to the kitchen, waving her wand and summoning a cup from the cupboards. Filling it with warm eggnog, she handed it to the girl with a smile. Cho thanked her, and Cecilia scrutinized the Oriental girl as she sipped the drink. She had grown up quite a bit from when she and Roger had first met. Quite the little beauty, small and spirited and graceful. But there was confusion in her eyes. Confusion and hurt and growing anger. Now... where had she seen that before?
"Happy Christmas to you, Mrs. Davies; thanks for the eggnog," Cho drained her cup and said politely. Cecilia smiled at her.
"You're welcome, dear. We've missed you around here; this is the first Christmas since you've started Hogwarts that you haven't stayed with us." Cho winced almost imperceptibly.
"Well... ah... I've decided to stay at Hogwarts... er... get some work done and such," she mumbled. Mrs. Davies nodded, and although it was obvious from that gaze that she didn't believe a word that Cho said, she did not pry into the issue.
"I see. Well, we have a present for you anyway; let me go and get it." Cecilia rose and walked out, returning shortly with a small box. "Open it, see if you like it."
Cho thanked her and took the package. "To Cho, our nearly-daughter, Best Wishes for a Wonderful Christmas! Love, the Davies family". She bit her lip. No, Christmas was not going to be wonderful at all this year, those wishes notwithstanding. She opened up the box to see, nestled in white satin, an exquisite set of hair combs, jeweled with brilliant diamonds. Well, that was too nice of them! Giving Mrs. Davies a hug, she said sincerely, "Thank you so much, they're beautiful! But I couldn't take them, they must have cost so much!"
Cecilia returned the hug, "Nonsense, dear. I really think that you should be the one to have them. Now, let me put them on for you and see how they would look in that lovely raven hair." With gentle fingers, she unbraided Cho's hair, and the unbound, slightly wavy tresses fell past the girl's waist. Carefully and deftly, Cecilia pinned a comb on either side of the girl's head, and stepped back to admire her handiwork. The diamonds on the combs glittered in the light of the kitchen, stunningly contrasted against the dark sheen of Cho's hair. "Beautiful! Roger, come down here and have a look!" she called up the stairs.
Several long moments later, slow footsteps were heard, and Roger walked into the kitchen. His mother was smiling at him, and Cho... good Heavens!
Cho Chang... his former friend... the girl he loved with all his heart and not-quite-hated with all his soul... was standing by his mother's side, blushing slightly. Her hair, her unbearably gorgeous hair, was down, and adorned with jeweled combs. He knew what those combs were. His mother had been given them by his Grandmother Davies when she was engaged to his father, and every Davies bride for the past seven generations had worn them at her wedding. That Cho, the girl he could never have, had now been the recipient of them, struck him as decidedly ironic. Even more so because... how beautiful they looked on her... how well they fit with those jet-black locks.
And she would probably wear them when she married Diggory.
He narrowed his eyes, gave both women a curt nod, and rushed back up the stairs. The slamming of his door was heard reverberating through the house a moment later.
Cecilia winced, and saw that by her side, Cho, her face pale, was hurriedly removing the combs from her hair and re-plaiting the black strands. There was definitely something wrong between the two of them. Wishing fervently that the world was not as Shakespeare had said and that the course of true love ran smooth, she said softly to the Chinese girl, "Cho, would you like to stay for dinner with us?"
Cho shook her head numbly, "No... thanks for the offer... but... I-I think I need to be alone for a while." Mechanically putting the present in her purse and fastening her cloak, Cho all but ran out the door and back to Hogwarts.
That night, Calista found that she was the only Ravenclaw at the Christmas Feast. Cho had shut herself in her room and refused to come out for the evening. Oh Roger Davies, what have you done to her? the first-year sighed to herself. She loves you... even if neither of you realize it. Why do you make it so hard for yourselves? Silently, Calista helped herself to Christmas pudding and reflected that it was rather ironic for two Ravenclaws to be having a BLUE Christmas.
***
Roger had watched her running from his house, stricken pain on her face and the cloak that was far too thin clutched around her. He stayed by the window as the twilight deepened into darkness. It was still a few hours to dinner, he reckoned. He wasn't at all in the mood to get up, though. Sighing, he ran his hands over the small, square package in his hands. He was still unsure what had possessed him to spend the greater part of his Christmas money on a pair of tiny, glimmering earrings, but they had nearly screamed Cho's name when he had seen them in the shop while looking for a gift for his mother. Before he knew what he was about, the earrings were wrapped, paid for, and placed carefully into his coat pocket.
He had put a pretty ribbon on the box, and put it away under his bed with all the other gifts. Those had been given away this morning, though, and he had two packages left now-the gift from Cho, and his for her. He hadn't unwrapped the heavy box she had given him, only shoved it into the furthest corner of his closet. He tried to forget it was there.
There was a soft knock on his door. Moments later, his mother entered, wiping her hands on her apron and looking concerned. "Roger?"
"Yes, Mum?" he said, carefully emotionless.
"What's wrong, Roger?"
"Something's wrong, Mum?"
She sighed. "Roger, I saw how you looked at that girl today."
"What girl, Mum?" he asked nonchalantly, seething inside.
"Do you try to be difficult?" she groaned.
"It comes naturally." There was a moment of silence. Then: "You gave her your wedding combs."
"Yes, I did."
"She'll wear them when she marries Cedric Diggory," he responded, his fists clutched around the box in his lap.
Cecilia stood up, shaking her head. "For a child of mine, you certainly are a fool, Roger. Dinner in twenty minutes. Your father's coming home any minute, do try not to spoil the mood." With that, she was gone.
***
It became quite obvious to Calista that Cho and Roger had not resolved whatever they were having a disagreement about as the holidays came to an end. Cho stayed in her dormitory, staring into space and idly fingering her braid, books open and unread in her lap. She only came down for the meals that she remembered to have, and when she ate, she simply went through the motions like a machine, in a blank sort of daze.
Then, Christmas holidays were over and Ravenclaw Tower was once again full of people. Roger returned to Hogwarts, but he did not notice Cho at all beyond the cold nod he gave her in greeting, and an equally cold "Pass the pumpkin juice, please" that night during dinner. Neither Penelope nor Robin nor anyone else tried to mediate between them any more, and only looked at them sadly. Cho herself had given up trying to talk to him. He hated her. And she knew him well enough to understand that on the rare occasion that Roger Davies really, trully decided to hate someone, that unfortunate person would be hated and shunned by him for the rest of both their lives. It was a horrible thought.
Before long, it was time for Ravenclaw to play Gryffindor. To everyone's surprise, Oliver Wood, who had been glum ever since the defeat by Hufflepuff, practically skipped to breakfast that morning, and soon, Cho and the other Ravenclaws realized why. Harry Potter had found a replacement for the Nimbus that had been destroyed in the game against Hufflepuff. A Firebolt, brand new in all its glory, lay on the Gryffindor table. Cho's jaw dropped. A professional broom! Well, she would try her best... not like it mattered any more. Even if she managed to win against the odds, Roger would not care a whit. However, she nudged Penelope, who was sitting next to her, and asked if the older girl would go over and take a look at the broom for her. Penelope walked over, talked to Harry for a moment, examined the Firebolt, and allowed Percy to give her a kiss on the cheek before walking back to the Ravenclaw table. Cedric slowly rose from the Hufflepuff table and walked towards Harry as well, congratulating him on getting such a superb replacement for his older broom, and Cho smiled at her friend encouragingly. Draco Malfoy, eyes narrowed and a scowl on his pale face, swaggered over to see if it were really true that his rival now had the best broom in the school.
Soon, it was time for the game to begin. Cho filed listlessly into the locker room after the rest of her team and pulled on her Quidditch robes. Well, she would play her best and try to win anyway. She would concentrate on her game... and not think of other things. Roger did not discuss tactics with the team, simply told them to try their best in a toneless voice, and minutes later, they were out on the pitch and she had taken the air.
Harry Potter faced her, big green eyes fixed upon her as if sizing her up, trying to figure out how much of a challenge she would be. She smiled vaguely at him.
The game began. Cho tuned out the actions of the Chasers, Beaters and Keepers and concentrated on blocking her counterpart while looking for the snitch. Several times, she succeeded in bringing him off-course. He seemed unwilling to run her over or knock her off her broom, much to her surprise. Gryffindor needed to win this game in order to qualify for the final, and she had come into the game fully expecting to be clobbered. Of course, in practices and past games, Roger had always protected her, made sure that she was never hurt, but... well, now, he would probably thank the Weasley twins to fell her from her broom and render her unconscious.
At that angry, bitter thought, she shook herself mentally. No, Roger was not that mean. He had a good heart. Well, when he had a heart at all. She saw Potter going into a dive, and immediately followed, before realizing in a moment that he was simply leading her on and had not seen the Snitch at all. Making a mental note to be more careful, she started looking for the snitch again. Then, all of the sudden, she saw it. Putting a burst of speed onto her broom, she zoomed after it, aware that Potter was right at her heels, on a much-faster broom. Well, she would try her best, and then, she happened to glance down and she screamed.
Dementors again! Three of them, towering and looking up at them through their hoods, standing on the Quidditch pitch. Harry Potter whipped out his wand and bellowed "Expecto Patronum!", and a silver stag shot from the wand, charging down the hooded figures at the same moment that his hand closed around the snitch. Cho landed, bewildered. Why had there not been screams of "Xiao Yao Nu" and the sting of slaps this time? She heard Professor McGonagall screeching, and saw that the hooded figures were not Dementors after all, but Malfoy, Flint and some other Slytherins. Rolling her eyes at their stupidity, she slowly walked back to her team. They all told her that she did a good job, and that had Potter not had the faster broom, she would have won. Well, most of them. Roger was nowhere to be seen.
She felt the Gryffindors' eyes on her as she walked off with her team, a dejected figure in small blue robes. They probably thought that she was crushed about her loss. Well, she was slightly disappointed, to be sure, but at that moment, Harry Potter getting the snitch was really the last thing on her mind.
There was very little left to say. Ravenclaw, now rooting for Gryffindor in the Quidditch Cup, had very little to do but study for their final exams. Cho and Roger both took to their books with cold, calculated fervor. Cho now ignored Roger as pointedly as he did her, and made a point of being seen by him with Cedric. Cedric seemed rather upset about the whole business, but didn't refuse her company. Penelope was greatly displeased but, being Penelope, knew when a battle wasn't hers to win. She was therefore silent, waiting for the problem to resolve itself. Percy didn't like it, but she had gently explained to him that sometimes, little ones had to be allowed to grow up. He had blustered, but ceased trying to catch Roger after class and give him advice.
Cho ended up tutoring Calista in Charms. It was he one bad subject, and Calista, being a typical Ravenclaw, could not stand this. Cho was very relieved when the young girl did not mention Roger at all during their sessions levitating things and making them zoom around the room.
Gryffindor won to the Quiditch Cup, much to the joy of most assembled, and obviously Harry Potter and Oliver Wood, both of whom looked to be walking on air. Roger caught Oliver dancing a jig down the hall to the Prefects' bathroom the next night, and smiled, very slightly, for the first time in months. The castle was in a state of fretting over Sirius Black's latest break-in, and Cho spent much of her free time reassuring the younger students.
As the year drew to a close, the silence in the Ravenclaw common room grew to be palpable, and very unpleasant. The frigid air between Roger and Cho caused everyone else to step softly. Still, things were bearable. Soon, the fifth years disappeared into O.W.L.s and the seventh years into N.E.W.T.s. The others relaxed a bit after this, and yet, everyone was even more relieved than usual when exams went into their last week.
Things happened very quickly then. Sirius Black was captured and immediately vanished somehow from the highest tower in the place. Some said that his capture had been fabricated to appease frantic parents. Harry Potter was in the infirmary, along with his two best friends, and though this wasn't particularly new, as Penelope had to point out to the silently fretting Percy repeatedly, it still worried everyone. Yet when she suggested he visit his brother, he was adamant that the silly boy had to learn a lesson. It was rather endearing, really, how much he worried without letting it show. He was nicknamed a mother hen by her promptly, and she wouldn't desist in calling him that until he threatened her with detention. That was really the only funny part of the thing.
A sigh of relief went through the halls as school got out, and the students boarded the Hogwarts Express. Cho had owled her parents, saying she would simply take a carriage into Hogsmeade, not wishing for the whole day trip by train and the floo back home, as she usually did. Roger did the same. Neither of them realized that both had done it to avoid the other until they were sitting in a carriage along with a cringing and silent Susan Bones, clattering down from Hogwarts towards Hogsmeade.
When they got there, both swished off towards their homes, where their trunks had already been sent by floo, and Cho, after greeting her mother, had settled into a mope which nothing could rouse her from.
She refused to look out of her window and into Roger's, something they had often done in childhood. In fact, except to run errands, she didn't leave the house at all until her mother got her and her father tickets to the World Cup. She had gone, rather enjoying the game, but afterwards, she had seen Roger, running around with the Ministry officials, trying to get the helpless Muggles who were being levitated by Death Eaters down. As she recalled, she had been frightened out of her mind, but a mindless instinct to protect had come into her, and she had rushed in to help. Roger had picked her up by the shoulders and set her aside, glaring. "Go home, Chang," he had said. "This isn't the place for someone like you." And after that, Cho swore vehemently not to be kind to him again.
Shortly afterwards, she had chopped off her hair in a moment of fury, throwing it into his birdbath, hoping he was as hurt as she was.
And now, flying over her house in lazy circles on her new broom, she had brought the pain back, remembering.
And she still had no idea what she had done wrong.