Disclaimer: I still don't own Evangelion but you could buy it for me. Of course why would you when you could buy it for yourself.
Author's notes: Another chapter, only taking about three weeks but I finished this about a week ago. I am never quick to re-read or edit my work but here it is finally. For those people interested, this story will probably be about seven or eight chapters plus an epilogue. However that is only if I can maintain my interest in the story.
Shinji's Lullaby
Chapter 3
"Hikari needs me. Don't tell Misato. Asuka," that was all it said. It was a simple note, written on a piece of paper torn from a notebook. It was placed on the kitchen table in full view since she knew he would be the first one up. Shinji stared at it a little longer. It seemed bare, like it was missing something. Giving up, he folded the note and dropped it into his school bag. He headed straight for the shower unconstrained knowing that Asuka wasn't there and Misato was still asleep. When he thought about it, it was turning into a standard pre-Asuka morning. A week ago he would have cherish a day like today but now it was a little empty.
Shinji fell into his old routine quite easily. Feed Pen-Pen, start breakfast and make lunches. That was when his mind drifted a bit. Typically he would have to defend himself against Asuka or Misato at this time, so he could make the lunches without much mental effort. His thoughts flowed over the past two days and he felt a little confidence knowing that Asuka would admit their new relationship to others. That triggered a new fear however, as the admission would surely draw the attention of fellow students. Not just his class but also the whole school. Of course nearly everybody at school knew someone who worked at NERV so by tomorrow practically everybody in Tokyo-3 would know. While Asuka would thrive in these conditions, he knew that he would wilt.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Shinji noticed that he had made enough lunch for three people. Knowing that Toji and Kensuke were never against eating his food rather than the stuff at the cafeteria, he packed the third lunch into a box. At the very least he could offer it to Rei. Hearing a groan from his guardian's room Shinji began to hurry. He packed the three lunches and Asuka's headset into his bag and went back to the kitchen. After setting Misato's breakfast out, he entered Asuka's room and scanned the piles of books until he found the right one. Shinji then headed for the door and as he slipped on his shoes he heard Misato stumble out of her room.
"Asuka and I are going to go early, we'll see you later Misato," Shinji called from the open front door. Shinji heard Misato grunt in reply, not able to form a coherent thought before her morning beer. He didn't bother to acknowledge it and just stepped out the door, closing it behind him and leaving immediately. He was earlier than even his first days in Tokyo-3 but he had succeeded in making sure Misato didn't know that Asuka had left in the middle of the night. So with that settled Shinji made his way to school slowly, enjoying the bright, warm sunshine.
Again his mind started to wander. Normally he would focus on his music but Asuka had his SDAT. He had seen her scoop it up as she left his room last night and he started to think that he should have checked her room for it. So without something to focus on his mind drifted back to his last negative thought. He frowned as he began to think about what would happen when people heard the news. He hoped it wasn't going to be anything like when the class found out he was a pilot. He was getting used to physical contact, especially with Asuka, but being crowed by a group of strangers again wasn't all that appealing.
It wasn't like it was going to be a big shock to them. After all they had always been a talking point in class, particularly when it was discovered that they lived together. Whether it was teasing or real speculation it came to two schools of thought. The first and most popular was that Shinji spent the most time around her and was probably the only person who could stand her for long periods. Therefore they would eventually end up together because they had no one else that would stay with them. Shinji was afraid of everybody and Asuka practically chased everybody away, except for Shinji who withstood all her attacks. So by default they were bound to end up together.
Secondly came a rare opinion that was occasionally voiced in public and was once overheard by Kensuke. He had listened to some girls saying that you always hurt the one you love the most. This was in reference to Shinji and Asuka but the logic in the matter was lost on the so-called three stooges. They couldn't understand why Asuka would inflict pain and humiliation on someone she liked, especially when they consider how she acted around Kaji. The only thing they did acknowledge was that Shinji seemed to bare the brunt of Asuka's attacks but they passed that off as being a part of being around her almost constantly. Although privately Shinji had considered this again after their first kiss but he still wasn't able to draw any logical conclusions.
Shinji stopped behind a group of students waiting for the lights to change. They were headed to the same school and he even recognised some that he had danced with two nights ago. They were gossiping amongst themselves and Shinji wasn't paying attention until there were a few cries of astonishment. Shinji then clearly heard the names Toji and Hikari mentioned along with a couple of disbelieving calls of 'No really' and 'You can't be serious.' Just as Shinji tried to strain his hearing to listen to the rest the lights changed. As they walked away, he followed at a distance but things were starting to make sense.
If they were indeed talking about something that happened between Toji and Hikari, it would be the perfect reason for Asuka to go to her friend's aid. That considered whatever happened wasn't likely to be good and Shinji started to feel a familiar sense of dread forming in the pit of his stomach. Asuka would side with Hikari leaving him in the middle that is if Asuka hadn't got a hold of Toji first. He would then be expected to help clean up the mess. He was still trying to come to terms with his own relationship and didn't need to get caught in the troubles of someone else's. Of course he knew that if there were problems he would inevitably be dragged into helping, either by Asuka or Toji.
Shinji arrived at school and immediately tried to tune out the buzz of gossipers as they grouped together to trade stories. He didn't want to hear the gossip knowing that it would probably be false or blown out of proportion. He deposited what he didn't need into his locker, traded his shoes and then trudged down the halls. He could tell when people were talking about Toji and Hikari because they stopped talking to watch him pass. Once he was out of earshot they started again but continued to watch him, wary that they may be talking too loud. Shinji entered the class and it was fairly active for that time of day and he decided it was people wanting to arrive early to gossip.
"Hey Kensuke," Shinji called to his friend as he approached but Kensuke put a finger over his mouth wanting nothing but silence from Shinji. Looking at his friend, Shinji could tell he was in his intelligence-gathering mode. Hunched over his computer with his eyes narrowed and darting around the room. He would strain his hearing to get every word that was spoken. Shinji saw it as pointless since he was only gathering gossip. It was useless information since everyone knew it and it wasn't reliable. The real value was in knowing something that someone didn't want anybody to know about. Shinji sighed realising he'd been hanging around Kensuke and NERV too much.
"Shh!" Kensuke exclaimed, annoyed at Shinji's audible sigh. Shinji just shook his head and decide to wait for the clock to countdown to class. It was an excruciating wait and during it he noticed that Rei was already in class. He dismissed talking to her after remembering what had happened when he and Rei arrived home the night before. Asuka would probably not appreciate him talking to Rei before class, if at all. The time ticked on, even if it had appeared to stop, so Shinji turned his thoughts to what would happen when Asuka arrived. Thoughts of her changing her mind dogged him along with thoughts of what he would do if Asuka choose to announce their relationship the same way she had displayed it to Rei. The thought both excited him and filled him with fear as the benefits and consequences flooded his mind.
Normally noise would break Shinji's reverie but in this case it was silence. The constant drone of gossip suddenly ended as Asuka entered the room. A meek looking class rep that was unwilling to look up and lock gazes with anyone closely followed her. She didn't need to worry however, as Asuka glared at everybody with enough venom to make them look elsewhere. Satisfied with her work, Asuka strode down the aisle trying keep her hair out of her face while maintaining her dangerous glare at any dissenters.
"Umm… Asuka," Asuka whirled around to look at the source of the voice. Shinji flinched under her stare but it quickly softened, bringing a soft sigh of relief from Shinji. The rest of the class was mesmerised, waiting for the expected outburst of rage and wondering why Shinji had spoken up.
"You forgot these," Shinji announced in a stronger voice as he offered Asuka her headset.
"Thank you Shinji," Asuka spoke with a smile and then bent down and kissed Shinji. It was brief and their lips barely touched but it still sent a rush of adrenaline through his body. There was a collective gasp from the class who watched a smug Asuka walk to her desk while Shinji sat staring dreamily toward the front of the class. Asuka congratulated herself as she fixed her hair. She had proven to Shinji that she wasn't afraid to display their relationship in public and also she had given the class a distraction from Hikari. Meanwhile, Shinji was brought out of his daze by a loud thump as a petrified Kensuke toppled out of his chair. Kensuke quickly bounced to his feet but before he could berate Shinji the teacher arrived.
The class quickly settled into a regular lesson but unlike most days, today they had plenty to talk about. Shinji took note of Toji's absence and it was further proof that something had happened. Hikari was also different. Normally attentive to class, her computer wasn't on and she was making no effort to take notes. Her face showed a range of emotions, disillusion, fear, depression and anger all flashed across her face and at times she looked to be on the verge of tears. Shinji was distracted by something in his peripheral vision and turned to see Kensuke pointing at his computer. Taking the hint Shinji turned on his computer to see what thee fuss was about.
He quickly regretted it as a mass of messages flooded onto his screen. There was one from every guy in the class and all wanted details, some wanted graphic descriptions. Shinji started deleting messages until he came to one from Kensuke. The pause was only a second as the message began with 'You traitor' and ended in the trash. Shinji then began the tedious work of deleting all the messages only to have fresh ones appear in their place. After a while they got the idea that he wasn't interested in talking and they stopped, although Kensuke was the most persistent. He wasn't going to give up so Shinji just let him go, only bothering to delete his messages on mass.
Putting his schoolbooks aside Shinji pulled out the book he retrieved from Asuka's room this morning. It was a restaurant guide to Tokyo-3 and he stood the book on its spine and let it fall open at the most used section. What the book opened to was the most expensive restaurant in Tokyo-3. In the borders around the article were notes written in German that he couldn't understand except for a name, Kaji. Frowning he decide to just read the article and push his doubts to the back of his mind. He was halfway through the article before the sound of rushing air and a damp splat on his neck told him Asuka wanted his attention. He wiped the spitball away and looked over his shoulder to see Asuka pointing at her computer.
"What are you doing?" was the message that had appeared amongst an array of ones from Kensuke.
"Reading," he replied succinctly and with a smile.
"I can see that. What are you reading?" feeling the security of the classroom, Shinji decide to test her patience.
"A book," Shinji heard a low growl of frustration that made half the class tremble.
"Don't act stupid. I know you are reading a book. I want to know what the book is and don't give me any stupid answers." Shinji felt a little let down that his fun had ended but answered quickly so he wouldn't get in any more trouble later.
"Sorry, it's a Tokyo-3 restaurant guide," Shinji stated realising he had lost his place in the article he was reading.
"Don't apologise and why do you need a restaurant guide when I have one?" Shinji was glad for the fact he was typing otherwise he would have apologised again.
"I know you have one because I got this one from your room," even though he was typing, he didn't realise his mistake. The second Asuka read it she started to yell but covered it up by going into a coughing fit.
"What were you doing in my room when I wasn't there? Do you know what I'm going to do when I get my hands on you?" Shinji swallowed hard knowing full well what Asuka was capable of.
"Sorry Asuka, I didn't do anything, I just go the book and left. I promise that's all I did," he could feel Asuka's gaze burning into his back.
"So all you did was get that one book. Why that book?" Shinji raised an eyebrow and looked questioningly back at Asuka. She made it clear by her body language that she wanted him to answer the question.
"Why else would I want a book about restaurants? I wanted to make sure that we went somewhere nice for our first date." Shinji watch a bewildered look appear on her face as she realised how obvious that should have been.
"Date? You never said anything about a date," Shinji smiled at Asuka's change of attitude.
"Well I was going to ask you this morning but you weren't around so I though I might do some preparation." Shinji relaxed a little as Asuka's reply was slow in coming.
"Okay then, page 76 if you can afford it. Otherwise pages 32, 85 or 14 and if you are really poor page 52." Shinji checked the page he had been reading to find it was indeed page 76.
"I was reading page 76, what did you write about Kaji?" Asuka hesitated in answering while Shinji flipped through the book, marking the pages that Asuka had designated.
"It's nothing you can disregard it completely," Shinji wasn't convinced by her reply.
"Are you sure, I know Misato speaks German, maybe I should ask her what it says," looking back over his shoulder he can see Asuka hastily typing.
"No, no it's nothing important just a few details of what we were going to wear on our date there." Shinji smiled, getting an answer he felt was more likely to be the truth.
"I don't remember you going on a date with Kaji to the Tokyo-3 Skylight Bistro," Shinji glanced at her again and saw that she was squirming in her seat. Asuka noticed Shinji watching her but her angry glare was neutralised by a pleasant smile.
"Fine, I didn't go on a date with Kaji I was just fantasising what I wanted our date to be like," Asuka discontentedly relinquished the truth to Shinji.
"Thank you for being honest," Shinji messaged back as he reached the last page to be marked. Page 52 was a familiar looking ramen stand that the book had given excellent reviews.
"You don't have to be smug about it," Asuka responded, still feeling a little vulnerable after divulging what had been personal information to Shinji. She could see Shinji frown and he made no effort to continue their conversation. A hint of guilt began to nag at her mind. What was written wasn't exactly a national secret but to Asuka it still felt like a reminder to a personal failure. It was inconsequential now that she was with Shinji but old habits were hard to break and she made a mental note to make it up to him later.
Shinji hadn't been paying any attention to class, so when the lunch bell rang he was caught by surprise. It wasn't uncommon considering the mind numbing effect of the teacher but today it would prove untimely. After bowing, he sat back down and began to gather what he needed. A warm sensation travelled along his forearm following Asuka's touch as she brushed past his desk. She went straight to Hikari and the pair of them left as quickly as they had arrived. Shinji looked blankly at the door and then realised that the majority of people in the room were watching him. Quickly he finished gathering his stuff and exited the room, hearing the volume inside double as he did so.
Shinji didn't bother looking for Asuka, knowing that she was probably long gone. He headed straight for the stairs and up to the roof, hoping the fresh air and sunlight would revive his tired mind. While he had occupied his conscious actions with reading the restaurant reviews, he occasionally drifted off onto some of the other thoughts he had today. Added to those he had on his way to school were ones on her notes on page 76. Her last comment wasn't harsh but it seemed to be a reminder to him not to pry too deeply into her life. She had willingly told him some of her troubled past but that didn't necessarily mean she would willingly tell him everything. As Shinji leaned on the railing on the roof with the sun warming him he was given a distraction from his thoughts.
"YOU TRAITOR!!" Kensuke's scream from the stairwell reached the courtyard below and several students glanced around looking for the source. Shinji groaned as he heard Kensuke marching towards him. He didn't particularly want to think but talking to an antagonised Kensuke was not the best way to spend his lunch.
"You… her and… what were you thinking? Are you mad? Have you been brainwashed? I mean you and… and her and… how could you? You traitor, you turncoat, you conspire with the devil and then flaunt it in front of the whole class. I can't believe what I saw. It's burned into my eyes and I'll never be able to remove it. I'm surprised my hair didn't turn white with fright. If Toji had been here he probably would have screamed like a little girl. So now we are going to have to kill you both. We'll need wooden stakes, holy water, silver bullets…" Shinji decided to end Kensuke's little tirade.
"Aren't you over reacting just a bit," Kensuke stopped and looked at his friend with a horrified expression.
"Over reacting? How can you say that after everything that she has done to you? While your friends that have stood by you are now discarded like yesterday's news so that you can spend time with the red headed devil. I just want to know why Shinji? Why her of all people?" Kensuke imploring just made Shinji doubt his friend's sanity more than he already did.
"She's a good kisser," he replied plainly and even though it was the truth, he was devoid of anything more substantial to say.
"That's all," to Kensuke's disbelief Shinji just nodded. "Is that the best you can come up with? I mean Asuka wouldn't just kiss you for no reason." Shinji could remember being kissed by Asuka because she was bored, which wasn't much of a reason. However he wasn't going to tell Kensuke about that and it wasn't really relevant to what had happened in the last couple of days.
"You wouldn't understand. Even though we don't act like it, we are alike in a lot of ways. We seem to connect together like… I don't know how to describe it, only to say that it is right." Shinji stared out to the horizon trying to fathom just what it was that drew him to Asuka. Kensuke just looked at Shinji wondering if the young pilot was losing it or he was missing something. Deciding to let the matter drop until he had sufficient backup from Toji, Kensuke also turned to look at the horizon. The silence was only momentary though, as Shinji spoke surprising Kensuke.
"Hello Ayanami," Shinji hadn't turned around to see if Rei was there, making Kensuke think it was a joke. Behind them Rei paused, taken aback by Shinji initiating the conversation. Never before had he acknowledged her presence without noticing she was there first.
"Hello Ikari, Aida" Rei finally responded, her voice making Kensuke jump with shock. That puzzled Rei since Shinji had already spoken and Kensuke should have known she was there. As Kensuke was recovering from his shock by trying to regain his breath Shinji turned around to talk to her.
"How can I help you Rei?" Shinji asked as he noticed the curious stare Rei held on Kensuke.
"I was wondering what time I should arrive tomorrow night," Rei fixed her gaze on Shinji as she spoke.
"Didn't Misato tell you what time to arrive?" Shinji replied, slightly confused since he thought he heard Misato tell her when to arrive.
"Major Katsuragi said that I should arrive at about six o'clock but I wanted to know the precise time I should arrive," Rei just stared at a bemused Shinji.
"You mean you want to know the exact minute you should arrive at Misato's apartment," Kensuke tried to clarify.
"That is correct," Rei responds and then look at a stupefied Shinji waiting for the answer.
"Why do you need the precise time? I don't think anyone will mind if you don't turn up on time." Even though Shinji was arguing the point he could see that it was a futile struggle.
"It would be impolite to arrive at a time other than the one designated," a concise and irrefutable answer that was typical of Rei.
"Six o'clock should be fine Rei," Shinji confirmed, deciding it is easy just to give her a time than argue the point.
"Then I will see you at six o'clock tomorrow evening for dinner," Rei announced before she turned on her heels and began to leave.
"Actually Rei, I have an extra lunch, would you like to join us?" Kensuke looked at Shinji in disbelief as he asked Rei to stay.
"That would be acceptable," Rei walked back and Shinji pulled out one of the three lunches he had made. He handed it to Rei and she sat with her back to the railing with her legs crossed and the lunch in her lap.
"Are you sure it's okay for you to be eating with Rei? I mean what will Asuka do if she finds out?" Kensuke whispered to Shinji.
"I invited Rei to dinner last night so I don't see how this is any different," Kensuke looked at him doubtfully and inwardly Shinji also had some doubts.
"Well it's your funeral," Kensuke muttered as he delved into his bag for his own lunch. Shinji just leaned back onto the railing looking out to the horizon again. Kensuke discovered his lunch at the bottom of his bag buried under tapes, books and a range of other junk he though he needed to have with him. Opening the container, Kensuke dejectedly sighed at the contents. He glanced enviously at Rei who was a third of the way through one of Shinji's lunches. That triggered an alarm in Kensuke's mind. Shinji usually only made two lunches so if he gave one to Rei it was most likely Asuka's.
Kensuke looked to Shinji about to ask him but what he saw stopped all that. Asuka had appeared and had her arms wrapped around Shinji. Shinji hand turned his head to the side and was using his own and Asuka's forearms as a cushion. Asuka was facing the same direction as Shinji and had her head resting against Shinji's back. Kensuke could see why Shinji was having a hard time describing their connection. From where he was watching them he could see that they had similar contented smiles on their faces that only added to their strange aura. A crooked smile played upon his lips, he may understand why they are together but it didn't mean he had to acknowledge it.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Kensuke groaned in an attempt to break the couple's peaceful moment.
"Do you require medical assistance?" Rei's monotone voice was the only reaction that Kensuke received.
"Only if those two don't get a hotel room," Kensuke replied jokingly, forgetting who he was talking to.
"Why? I have observed Ikari and Sohryu kissing for several minutes and have not felt ill." Kensuke regarded Rei suspiciously but considering her character he doubted that she was lying.
"It's okay Wondergirl, he is just being childish," Rei looked at Asuka and then back to Kensuke. He had begrudgingly started his lunch, unwilling to talk to Asuka so Rei followed suit.
"Shouldn't you be with Hikari?" Shinji asked after several minutes of silence.
"Yeah, I just came to get my lunch," Asuka looked down to where Rei was quietly eating. "You didn't give it to her, did you?" Asuka inquired after looking at Shinji's face over his shoulder.
"No, I accidentally made three lunches this morning," Shinji timidly answered.
"Why did you make three lunches?" Asuka rested her chin on his shoulder as he answered.
"Well I was wondering why you disappeared this morning," Shinji looked forwards as he spoke finding it too hard to look over his shoulder at her.
"What, you mean you haven't heard what happened?" Asuka incredulously asked as she was stepped away from Shinji.
"Considering some of the rumours I've heard, you are probably better off telling him yourself," Kensuke interjected before Shinji could speak for himself. Asuka just glanced at him and then back to the clueless Shinji.
"Fine, I'll go one better. Let's go Shinji," Asuka grabbed Shinji's arm and started to drag him to the stairs. He was only just able to maintain his balance and snatch his bag as he stumbled along behind her. The pair disappeared watched by a despairing Kensuke and a stone-faced Rei.
"You have to wonder why they would want to be together," Kensuke mused after Shinji and Asuka had left.
"It is human nature to seek comfort from others," Rei responded emotionlessly.
"That still doesn't explain how they became a couple," Kensuke started eating again not expecting the normally quiet girl to speak again.
"I am unsure how but Major Katsuragi mentioned that after the dance they had slept together." Rei thought medical assistance would be required after all as Kensuke started choking on his food.
Shinji had fallen into step with Asuka, although he trailed behind by half a pace so that he following her was easier. Asuka strode through the school oblivious to the students who were watching them and the gossip that was spreading. However Shinji was quite aware of the commotion that they were causing and occasionally chanced a quick glance around. This only confirmed that as soon as he and Asuka were noticed, they became the sole focus of the other student's attention. Shinji was starting to become unsettled until Asuka made a sudden turn and almost pulled him off his feet. Shinji stumbled as he regained his balance and noticed that Asuka had let go of his hand to look back around the corner of the building. She was glaring at any potential spies who would try to eavesdrop on them.
Once she felt the onlooking students had proper warning she turned and walked along the side of the building. Shinji followed behind her as they moved through the shadows cast by the building to the right and the trees to the left. They came to the back of the building, which also seemed to be the back of the school, where Asuka again followed the building. She then turned left into the trees and brought Shinji out into a little clearing between the school boundary and the building. Hikari sat there with her back against a tree and her legs pulled up to her chest. Her eyes were closed and her face relaxed but it showed signs of lack of sleep and tears. She looked up and saw Asuka coming, her face showing relief but it became one of confusion when Shinji followed her in.
"Now lets get this over with," Asuka huffed as she dropped down to sit next to Hikari.
"Get what over with?" Hikari asked in a soft voice as Shinji sat down opposite both girls.
"Tell Shinji what that idiot, jock friend of his did," Hikari looked into the ground next to her.
"Um… Asuka maybe she doesn't want to talk about it?" Shinji offered, seeing that Hikari looked reluctant to talk.
"You're the one who wanted someone other than me to handle this," Asuka spoke without her usual volume. Hikari looked slightly uncertain, trying to decide whether or not Shinji would help.
"What exactly do you want me to do?" Shinji asked apprehensively. With all the gossip and rumours he had a fair idea that something bad had happened and that he was about to be volunteered by Asuka to help clean up the mess.
"You are Toji's friend so you have to go and talk to him for us about what happened," Asuka stated flatly trying to hold back her frustration.
"So… Umm… What did happen?" Asuka shot Shinji a deadly glare and was about to lose control when Hikari spoke up. She started talking about what happened with her eyes closed and barely moved once she had begun. Asuka had heard all this before and turned her attention to Shinji. He was listening intently and realising the gravity of the situation, tried not to miss a single detail. Asuka studied Shinji's face trying to discern the emotions that played upon it. Confusion, disbelief and occasionally anger were the most prevalent emotions that Asuka could decipher. More importantly was Shinji's right hand.
To Asuka the unconscious trait that showed Shinji's agitation was the clenching and unclenching of his right hand. At the moment this was the barometer that was going to decide Shinji's usefulness in this situation. If he wasn't affected by what he heard then he wouldn't be effective when he talked with Toji. That would mean Asuka would have to do it herself. However Hikari had forbidden this because she knew that Asuka would probably do serious physical harm to Toji. Asuka couldn't understand Hikari on that point but the best alternative was to send Shinji in her stead. So as Hikari finished, Asuka smiled, as Shinji's hand seemed to move of its own free will.
"I know Toji is not the brightest guy but I didn't think he would do something that stupid," Shinji bewilderedly commented.
"So what are you going to do about it?" Asuka demanded as Shinji tried to hide the fact his hand was twitching.
"Me? Why do I have to do something?" Shinji stammered as Asuka approached him.
"Because I am asking you," Asuka sweetly replied but it only confused Shinji more. "Look, Toji at least needs to show his face and apologise. He hasn't shown up today we need someone to make sure that he knows that he has done the wrong thing and is suffering because of it. Hikari won't let me deal with it so it has to be you," Asuka forceful voice was tempting Shinji to try and escape.
"Well what exactly do you want me to do?" Shinji sighed in resignation. This was something Asuka wasn't going to let up on and although he wasn't good with confrontation it seemed better to have one with Toji rather than Asuka.
"How should I know? Yell and scream at him, guilt trip him or even hit him for all I care just make sure he apologises and begs for forgiveness." Asuka backs away from Shinji after her arm waving rant ends. Shinji looks at Asuka as she drops back down next to Hikari. The whole time his mind trying to determine what to do but he was continually sidetracked by his conflicting emotions. It wasn't just about Toji and Hikari but himself and Asuka and the constant barrage of thoughts added to his dejected state of mind. His thoughts were broken as Asuka's stomach rumbled, reminding the girl of her hunger.
"Ah Shinji, do you have… Thanks," Shinji tossed Asuka her lunch watched by Hikari who was also feeling some hunger pains.
"Um… Asuka can I have some?" Hikari whispered, embarrassed that she had not only missed breakfast but also forgotten to make her own lunch.
"Here, have mine," Shinji offered before Asuka could answer Hikari's question. They both looked up to Shinji who was standing in front of them with his bag in his right hand and the offered lunch in his left.
"Thank you but what are you going to eat?" Hikari responded as she timidly took the meal.
"It's okay, I'm not hungry at the moment," Shinji offered a weak smile of reassurance before he closed up his bag. "Well I'll see you later," Shinji said belatedly as he walked out of view. Hikari had noticed Shinji's despondent behaviour but Asuka had not.
"Weren't you a little harsh on him," Hikari asked as she prepared to eat Shinji's lunch.
"Huh? Who Shinji?" Asuka distractedly looked up at Hikari.
"Yes Shinji, he looked a little depressed when he left," Hikari's voice expressed concern which caught Asuka's attention.
"Left?" Hikari watched Asuka suddenly scanned the area looking for Shinji. When it was clear he wasn't there she jumped to her feet and rushed after him. She caught him, as he was about to walk around the corner of the building. He let out a yelp of surprised as Asuka's hand clamped on his shoulder and spun him around. Her breathing a little ragged, Asuka gripped both hands on Shinji's shirt as she pinned him to the wall. A shocked Shinji stared at Asuka who was studying him with a look of concern. Shinji's surprise faded back to his depressed look as they continued to stare at each other in silence. Shinji's downcast features brought out a rarely seen emotion on Asuka's face, guilt.
"I'm… sorry," Asuka's quiet voice came as she looked down, unable to look at Shinji's face.
"Don't worry, it didn't hurt that much," Asuka briefly looked up and then understood what he meant.
"It's not about that. I'm sorry about being hard on you about Toji. He's still an idiot and I don't see what Hikari can see in an ape like him but she won't let me do anything. I've wanted to lash out at something all day but I didn't want it to be you. So I'm sorry," Asuka looked at a stunned Shinji who couldn't believe he had just heard Asuka apologise. Asuka stared into Shinji's chest as he failed to respond to her apology. She was startled by Shinji's hand as the back of his fingers traced down her cheek.
"Did I just hear the great Asuka Langley Sohryu apologise?" Shinji asked teasingly. Asuka looked up at Shinji's smiling face and smiled back as she drew her face to within inches of his.
"Don't get used to it, especially if you don't do what I want." Asuka held the distance between them as Shinji tentatively attempted to kiss her. Tired of waiting Shinji stretched an arm behind her back and pulled her to him. Enjoying his boldness Asuka let her arms wrap around his neck as she melted into his embrace.
"Asuka are you… Whoops, sorry," Hikari disappeared blushing furiously after venturing out to find Asuka. The moment broken, Asuka leaned back but didn't relinquish her hold on his neck.
"So are you going to join me for lunch?" Asuka's soft voice was very inviting for Shinji.
"Sorry but I have a few things to do," Shinji unenthusiastically stuttered as Asuka batted her eyelids.
"Fine but we'll resume this later," Asuka seductively whispered. After a quick peck on the cheek Asuka walked back to where Hikari was, Shinji watching her all the way. He shook his head to recall his previous task and started to walk again. No one noticed or no one particularly cared as Shinji walked straight out the front gates and away from the school.
Shinji spotted Toji's house as he turned the corner and his pace started to slow. He had dreaded a confrontation but as he travelled he came to the conclusion that it was inevitable. Unfortunately he was given the job of being the middleman and now he was almost to Toji's place. Of course it would have been worse if Asuka had decided to take the initiative. So now Shinji was stuck with trying to decide what to do when he saw Toji. Asuka's advice rang through his head but the idea of hitting his friend wasn't appealing. However when he thought of Hikari's story, striking his friend seemed a lot easier.
He recalled Hikari's story and the fact that she was close to breaking down in tears. This contrasted greatly with the cheerful girl he was dancing with only a couple of days ago. He reached the door and knocked, his right hand remaining in a fist to stop its movement as he bowed his head to study it. Asuka's words also rang through his mind as she expressed her opinion on how to deal with the situation. Shinji could feel his shoulders tense up as he focused on keeping his hand from flexing. Asuka's words, Hikari's face and all his thoughts came to a crescendo as the door opened.
"Hey Shinji, what…" The sound of flesh on fleshed echoed through the empty street.
Toji regathered his thoughts as he lay on his back with his eyes closed. Replaying and organising events into a coherent order, Toji pieced together what happened. He opened the door, said a few words, got a close up of Shinji's fist, saw the blue sky above Shinji's head, the white of the ceiling and then his eyes closed as his back impacted on the floor. Reopening his eyes he saw a nervous Shinji standing over him with his bag in one hand and the other scratching the back of his head.
"So I guess we are even," Toji muttered after working the soreness out of his jaw.
"Well not exactly," Shinji mumbled as he looked down at Toji. He was feeling the guilt of acting as Asuka would have and not as he should have. Toji regarded his friend for a few moments noticing an awkwardness that was different from how Shinji usually acted.
"I guess you spoke with Hikari then," Toji watched Shinji's slow, affirmative nod. "Well I suppose I deserve it but it still doesn't make me feel any better." Toji groaned as he stood and closed the door, leading Shinji inside.
"Actually I was sent to make sure that you apologised," Shinji stated as Toji sat on the arm of the couch.
"You were sent?" Toji questioned, realising that his friend probably wouldn't have come of his own free will.
"Yeah, Hikari wouldn't let Asuka confront you, so Asuka sent me instead," Toji chuckled a bit imagining Asuka ordering Shinji to attack him.
"So then it was her idea for you to punch me," Shinji sat in a chair opposite Toji before speaking.
"Well she suggested it but said I had a choice as long as you begged for forgiveness. I was going to ask your side of the story first but I sort of got worked up on the way over." Toji could understand Shinji's thoughts since he had done the same thing several times, like when his sister was hurt.
"Don't worry, like I said, I probably deserve it," Toji consoled Shinji who still looked a bit guilty at having hit his friend.
"So are you going to tell me your side or not?" Shinji hesitantly asked as the pair threatened to lapse into silence.
"Do you really want to know?" Shinji nodded again since he already knew what the likely story was going to be. Toji began recounting the events from his perspective with Shinji as his avid listener. As he spoke, Toji showed that the weight of guilt was heavy on his shoulders and he leaned forward rested his elbows on his knees. His head was bowed but Shinji could see his furrowed brow as he concentrated on expressing the events in as much detail as he could remember. As Toji's voice trailed off at the end of his story, both boys sat in silence until Toji started to look up.
"So that's everything I…" for the second time that day Toji found himself flat on his back due to a punch from Shinji. This time however, the pain was going to linger as his cheek stung from a venomous punch. Toji put it down to the fact that Shinji would have had to stand and take a step forward before he would be in range. Toji opened his eyes again to see Shinji standing over him.
"Sorry," Shinji offered weakly as he shook his wrist trying to remove the pain in his hand.
"I said I deserved it but I don't see why you had to hit me again," Toji mumbled a bit due to the constant ache in his cheek.
"Let's just say that Hikari was a little more… articulate in how she told her story," Shinji also admitted to himself he was listening to Asuka's advice more than his own thoughts.
"Just like the class rep to be diplomatic about it," Toji sighed and closed his eyes. Shinji examined his friend from his position before going to the kitchen. He returned with an icepack for the darkening bruise on Toji's cheek.
"You might need this," Shinji presented the icepack to Toji who took it and placed it to his face.
"Well at least the red headed devil hasn't completely driven the nice guy out of you. Although you really shouldn't hang around her as much as you do because you are starting to act like her." Shinji blushed but Toji missed it.
"Actually I'll probably be spending more time with her," Toji glanced at Shinji wanting a more complete answer. "You got any food?" Toji paused, reluctant to let the matter drop but relented feeling his own hunger. He nodded thinking he would at least get a decent meal as Shinji returned to the kitchen. As the sounds of a meal being prepared floated in to Toji, he climbed to his feet and entered the kitchen, the icepack still held in place. He dropped heavily into a chair at the table and he watched Shinji bustling about the kitchen making a simple lunch.
"So what am I supposed to do?" Toji grumbled as he slumped over the table.
"Well Asuka wanted an apology at least," Shinji spoke over his shoulder as he worked.
"But do you think that will be enough?" Toji waited as Shinji pondered the question.
"No," came his flat reply as he turned and placed two plates on the table.
"Your not much help, I mean you are supposed to be my friend," Toji complained taking a bit of his sandwich by wincing at having to move his jaw.
"I distinctly remember telling you not to do anything stupid," Shinji coldly stated to the miserable Toji.
"You aren't much help," Toji pushed away his food and watched Shinji eating calmly. "What do you do when Asuka is mad at you?" Shinji just gives Toji a strange look but Toji doesn't seem to notice it.
"I apologise profusely, do whatever she wants and stay out of her way," Shinji reels off his actions without pause.
"Sounds like you just give into her," Toji sounds slightly bemused but realises he shouldn't be.
"Basically yes but you have to remember that Hikari isn't Asuka," Shinji finishes his sandwich and starts to clear the table.
"So what am I supposed to do?" Toji begs as Shinji saves Toji's meal for later.
"A lot of grovelling probably," Shinji half joked as he dropped his plate into the sink.
"That isn't much help," Toji stated, unamused.
"Well you should have apologised right after it happened rather than letting her run away. She's had the night to dwell on it and the school has rumours flying about which only makes things worse." Shinji turned to look at his friend who was staring into the table.
"How am I supposed to face her?" Toji mumbled into the table, not bothering to look up.
"It's not going to get any easier and you are going to have to face her sooner or later," Toji begrudgingly nodded in agreement. "Glad you agree because Asuka and Hikari have clean up so we can catch them after they finish." Toji looked up as Shinji started walking toward the door.
"What? I didn't think you meant today," Toji cried as he dumped his icepack into the sink and hurried after Shinji.
"Would you prefer tomorrow in front of the whole school?" Shinji question as he picked up his bag.
"I see your point," Toji sighed in defeat. "But why are we leaving now?" Shinji looked over his shoulder as he opened the door.
"I have a few things I need to take care of," Shinji plainly stated as he walked outside followed by his friend.
"Okay but you will be there when it happens, right?" Toji asked as he locked the door. He turned to see Shinji waiting at the front gate.
"I'll be there to take care of Asuka, after that you are on your own." Toji nodded. He was glad that he wouldn't have to deal with the fiery red head. Toji joined Shinji as he walked down the street into Tokyo-3. They remained silent as Toji tried to plan what he was going to say and Shinji dreaded what he was going to do when he next saw Asuka.
Asuka was fuming. She knew it was going to be a hard day when she went to Hikari's aid but she thought Shinji might have been more supportive. As it was he never returned to class after lunch, something that she was sure would spark rumours. However when an errant message arrived at her terminal, she realised that more was being speculated about than just Shinji's absence. Asuka had fired off a barrage of messages to everyone seeking answers but the class had fallen silent. Changing tactics she focused on just one and with his two friends missing Kensuke folded quickly.
He admitted he had started the rumour by telling people about what Rei had told him. Unfortunately that was the truth but that did not stop it from it being misinterpreted and blown out of proportion. Kensuke had finally told her that the rumour was now that Shinji was sleeping with Asuka, Rei and Misato. Asuka was barely able to restrain herself from throttling him right there but had to wait till the class ended. For the next hour Asuka thought up punishment for the crimes that each of the three stooges had committed.
When the bell had rung Asuka had chased Kensuke but she didn't make it out the door as Hikari reminded her that she was on clean up. This was something else to add to Asuka's misery and anger. It had given the girls another opportunity to talk but it didn't do anything to calm the German girl as she continually ranted on how much pain she was going to inflict. In the end Hikari had given up talking since Asuka didn't seem to be listening. Hikari walked in silence while Asuka followed, talking in a menacing whisper about what she was going to Rei for telling Kensuke about what happened.
Asuka was so involved in her own thoughts that she failed to notice Hikari stop and consequently walked straight into her back. Asuka was about to ask what was happening when she noticed her friend had barely registered the impact. Asuka peeked over her friends shoulder to see why she had stopped. Standing just inside the school gates was Toji and Shinji, both looking incredibly nervous. Hikari's surprised stare quickly dropped when her eyes met Toji's and Toji copied her, feeling the shame of his actions. The change in angle allowed Asuka to see his left cheek more clearly.
"Hey, what happened to your face?" Toji looked up and ran a hand over his bruised and sore cheek.
"Ah… Shinji kinda knocked some sense into me," Toji stammered as he looked over to his friend. Shinji who was nervous before wasn't thrilled that Toji had said that, especially since Asuka was staring wide-eyed at him.
"You mean Shinji hit you?" Asuka sceptically asked looking at both of them. They both fidgeted nervously under her gaze with Shinji trying to resist the familiar and comfortable urge to run.
"Twice actually," Toji added making her eyes widen even more. Getting over her shock, Asuka stormed up to Shinji and seized his right hand carefully inspecting the knuckles. There were sings of bruising and some swelling.
"You did say to punch him," Shinji stuttered as Asuka stared at his hand in disbelief.
"Yeah but I didn't think you would actually do it?" Asuka admitted still looking at his hand. Shinji looked up and saw Toji looking at them and Hikari looking at Toji.
"I'll tell you about it later," he hesitantly whispered to Asuka before speaking in a louder voice. "I guess we'll leave you two alone then," Shinji took Asuka's wrist and tried to drag her away but she didn't budge.
"You don't think I'm going to leave him alone with her, do you?" Asuka shouted angrily.
"He won't do anything, besides this is what she wanted, isn't it?" Asuka looked over to Hikari who nodded. Shinji then tugged at Asuka's arm again and this time she followed. However she kept her eyes on them until they were out of site. They continued to walk and Asuka noticed that Shinji hadn't let go of her wrist and wasn't heading back to the apartment.
"Where are we going?" Asuka asked softly as she slipped her hand into his.
"I don't feel like cooking so I thought I'd take you out to the ramen stall for dinner." Asuka smiled at him and was rewarded by Shinji looking at her and smiling.
"Well it's not much of a first date but it'll do," Asuka playfully commented. As she did she closed the distance between them so that their shoulders brushed together as they walked.
"Um… it's not really a date but I suppose you can think of it that way," Asuka looked over to Shinji who was blushing slightly.
"Oh so you have other plans," Asuka curiously inquired leaning forward so that she could see his face.
"Tokyo-3 Skylight Bistro at seven on Saturday, if you still want to go," Asuka smiled brightly helping Shinji to relax a bit.
"As long as you can afford it," Asuka announced as they reach the stall and took their seats.
"I'm pretty sure I can," Shinji spoke confidently, which drew Asuka's attention. They made their orders before Asuka spoke again.
"You seem to be very confident of that," Asuka probed and Shinji smiled.
"I made sure to ask about the menu and prices," Shinji leaned back to look up at the darkening sky.
"And they showed it to you," Shinji smiled at Asuka's surprise.
"Well a NERV ID and the name Ikari seemed to do wonders," Shinji looked a little depressed as he spoke so Asuka tried to change the subject.
"It still doesn't explain where you got the money to pay for this," Shinji smiled at her digging in his pocket and handing her some receipts. Asuka sorted through the crumpled papers as their meals were placed in front of them.
"Where did you get this much money?" Asuka almost shouted as she read the bank receipt in her hands and the couple became the centre of attention for the passing pedestrians.
"Allowances mostly," Shinji stuttered, taken aback by Asuka's sudden outburst. Asuka studied him and then placed the receipts next to her bowl and readied herself to eat.
"Explain the plural, why do you get more than just the pilot's allowance," Asuka started eating as Shinji stared into his food.
"Before I came here I lived with my teacher," his voice was soft, sad and a little distant. "My expenses were paid from an account and each month I got a personal allowance based on my age. I didn't have any friends so I didn't have much to spend money on. Also on my birthday I had some money paid into my account so I could buy myself a present," Shinji paused to take a bite unaware that a troubled Asuka was studying him.
"That's not so bad is it, buying your own present ensures you get what you want." Asuka's attempt to cheer him up didn't work as Shinji sighed heavily after swallowing some ramen.
"But it shows you they care if they go to the trouble of buying you something, even if it isn't something you want," Shinji sadly mused.
"So you have a lot of money because you never spent it," Asuka confirmed and Shinji nodded affirmatively.
"Apart from my SDAT and a couple of times to the arcade, I haven't spent much. I mean look at my room," Shinji's voice was almost bitter.
"That's why you bought the picture frames," Asuka added as she looked at the receipts on the table. "But did you really need three?"
"I was going to give you one but if you don't want it…" Asuka cut him off, as his voice seemed to lose its life.
"No! I want it but we'll have to get some better photos than the ones we have," Shinji smiled as he remembered all the photos that exist of them.
"And we both know whose fault that is," Shinji's jibe made Asuka frown until she realised it was a joke not an accusation. Asuka making Shinji look like a fool has spoilt nearly all the photos they have been in together. They both enjoyed the lighter moment and continue on with their meal.
"So why do you need cello strings, music paper and an old compilation CD?" Asuka eventually asked in reference to the last receipt.
"My mother's song was based on an old song and that CD was the only copy I could find. I can't remember her lyrics but I don't want to forget the song. So I was going to try and transpose the music so that I could play it on my cello. At least that way I won't forget," Asuka carefully considered Shinji. His dark behaviour when talking about his past had lifted but he still sounded melancholic.
"Can't you just take the lyrics from the song?" Asuka asked innocently but Shinji shook his head with a rueful smile.
"My mother had her own lyrics that were different from the ones in the original," Shinji answered as he finished his ramen. He paid for the meals and waited for Asuka who hurriedly finished her bowl before the two of they left for home. They both moved to hold hands at the same time and grinned at the ease at which they made contact. Again they walked with their shoulders in closed proximity enjoying the extra contact. As they walked Asuka's warm smile turned into a teasing grin, a sight that wiped the smile off Shinji's face.
"This was a nice night Shinji and because of that I'll let you off the hook," Asuka's grin widened as Shinji tried to figure out what he'd done.
"Ah... Asuka, what hook?" Shinji dreaded having to ask but his mind was drawing a blank.
"I'll let you off for leaving school early because I did ask you to talk to Toji. Of course I didn't mean you should leave school early to do it but hitting him more than makes up for it. Also since you were so concerned about letting people know of our relationship I won't blame you for the rumours." Shinji nodded but then had to think about the last comment.
"What rumours and why are they my fault?" Shinji stopped as Asuka moved so she was standing in front of him.
"It's your fault because you let Rei talk to Kensuke and she told him what Misato told her about us sleeping together after the dance. Now the school thinks you are sleeping with me, Rei and Misato," Shinji gulped.
"And by the time we have synch tests on Wednesday the whole of NERV will probably know," Shinji was starting to worry but Asuka wasn't concerned.
"And then you'll just have to tell everybody that you are dating me and not that doll and definitely not your guardian. That way everyone will know the truth," Asuka started walking again but had to prompt Shinji to follow.
"I guess I'll just have to get used to all the attention," Shinji uncertainly announced after Asuka prodded him in the ribs.
"You should have known, considering you are going out with the prettiest girl in Tokyo-3," Asuka batted her eyelids and smiled sweetly.
"Yeah, I probably should have," Shinji distractedly replied.
"You don't sound too confident," Asuka pouted.
"Sorry," Shinji responded without thinking and he received a frown from Asuka. "I guess I am humbled by your modesty," Shinji relaxes as his comment causes Asuka's warm smile to return. Asuka quickly moves closer, resting her head on his shoulder and stretching and arm around his back. Shinji responds by wrapping his arm around her waist sparking memories of their walk home after the dance.
"Shinji, you won't ever do something like Toji, will you?" Asuka timidly asks at their home looms up ahead of them.
"I won't, I mean, if I did I doubt an Eva would be able to restrain you from trying to kill me," Shinji becomes worried when Asuka pauses before answering.
"So you wouldn't do it because you are afraid of me," Asuka's serious voice disturbs Shinji so he replies equally seriously.
"I know what it's like to be hurt by someone who you care about and I would never hurt you because I do care about you." There is silence between them as they make their way to the elevator but a tightening of their embrace is enough until they reach the front door.
"So are you going to protect me from being hurt?" Asuka demanded taking up a position in the doorway. From where she stood blocking Shinji's entrance, she carefully examined Shinji's face as he answered.
"I will protect you with my life from man, angel, god or even Eva if I have to." He smiled and his voice held a hint of mirth but Asuka found the intensity and sincerity of his eyes captivating.
"Although I don't need protection, I would expect nothing less from my boyfriend," Asuka leaned forward until her face was inches from Shinji's and she was surprised he made no effort to lean back. "And now for you welcome home kiss," Shinji was expecting Asuka to move forward and kiss him. Instead she leaned back taking a firm grip on his shirt and dragged him inside. As they moved their mouths crashed together in an awkward kiss that only became comfortable after Asuka had collided with a wall. Shinji held her against the wall and they kissed passionately until Asuka pushed Shinji further into the apartment. She closed the door before racing after him. The closed door shielded the apartment and its occupants from the noise of screeching tyres that heralded Misato's return home.
Additional notes: There are things in this story that I know people probably don't like, Misato's reaction in chapter 2 is one. All I can say is that most things will be explained as the story continues but some may not, like what happened between Toji and Hikari. So if you don't like it flame me but I hope to have everything covered by the end. As a bit of a teaser, Misato's reaction will be mentioned next chapter and it will also involve the NERV staff, commanders included.