Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and everything related belongs to SquareSoft, because they're really cool.
Chapter 11: Heaven's Gain
Setting: Squall and Rinoa's Bedroom
One Year Later
Squall awoke with a start. His sweat-soaked hair clung to his forehead as he looked around the room, trying to remember where he was. His breath came in quick gulps and his heart fluttered.
He looked at Rinoa, who had awakened at almost the same second. She was also coated with sweat, and looked at Squall with shock. As their minds reoriented themselves to reality, they grabbed each other in a tight, desperate embrace.
Thank God you're alive, he thought to her. These dreams are driving me out of my mind.
Was that your dream or mine? she asked.
I think it was mine, Rin. Just like always.
Rinoa squeezed him tightly. You have to see somebody about these dreams, Squall!
I promise I'll talk to Doctor Kadowaki after the mock battle tomorrow, said Squall. It was bad enough when I was the only one having them, but now that they're passing on to you...
How long have you been having that dream? She rubbed the back of his head, trying to soothe her husband's fear.
Since just after Lexie was born, Squall replied. I didn't have them very often at first, and they didn't start out that graphic, but... Squall inhaled deeply and did his best to control his emotions. He felt like crying, but refused to allow himself to do it.
Squall, I'm here. Everything is okay. You can let it out if you need to. I'll always be here for you.
I'm ok, I promise, said Squall, summoning up his strength. I'm your knight. I'm supposed to protect you.
Rinoa pulled away from him just enough to look him in the eyes. Despite the darkness in the room, she could see the embarrassment in his eyes. Squall, it's as much the Sorceress' job to protect her knight as it is her knight's job to protect her. We both need each other. We always have. Being afraid for each other isn't a weakness, it can make us stronger when we protect each other.
Squall blinked for a second, and smiled at her. You're right.
Rinoa smiled back. Of course I am.
Squall sighed, and gazed into her eyes. After a few moments, he thought, We both have big days tomorrow and we need our sleep. My heart's moving at a mile a minute. How are we gonna get back to sleep?
Rinoa shrugged. You sure you want to go back to sleep?
Squall nodded. I have to. How about a couple Sleep spells, my Sorceress?
Rinoa smiled. Your wish is my pleasure. She then whispered, "Sleep". Magical energies surrounded Squall, and he collapsed, suddenly relaxed, onto his pillow. Rinoa watched him sleep for a few minutes, then kissed a finger and pressed it to his lips. Sleep well, my knight. No more dreams for you tonight.
She looked down at her abdomen and said, "You gonna let me sleep the rest of the night, Jett?" She sighed and rubbed her hand on her stomach. Our son, she thought. "Sleep," she said again. The supernatural waves surrounded her, sending her into a deep, dreamless slumber.
*"Ok, class, what is this?" Rinoa held up a placard with a drawing of a car on it.
"Car!" said her students.
"And how do you spell it?"
Rinoa smiled as the entire group of twelve children replied, not quite in unison, "C...A...R."
"Very good! Now who can tell me which of these pictures is not car?"
All the children raised their hands at once. As Rinoa was deciding which to call on, the loudspeaker emitted three cycles of a klaxon alarm. Then, Squall's voice filled the room: "Attention Balamb Garden staff and students, attention. We have detected a hostile force approaching us from bearing sixty-two at one hundred kph. All crews to battle stations, code orange. All non-essential personnel to bunkers, code orange. Garden will be lifting off in two minutes. That is all."
Code orange. So the "war games" with Trabia Garden are finally getting started. I thought they were supposed to be here this morning. Rinoa shook her head. "All right, class, everybody line up at the door, single file. We're going to go to the emergency stairway and down to the bunker at level B, just like we practiced. Remember to walk and be calm, but move quickly."
When the class was lined up, Rinoa opened the door and led them out into the corridor. The other classrooms were clearing out, and all students not assigned to a battle station were proceeding, single file, toward the emergency stairwell.
Her students, although only five-to six-years old, behaved very well and calmly walked down the stairs to the B level. The floor formerly occupied by the late Garden Master NORG had been refitted as a reinforced bunker to house Garden's non-combatant residents, in case of attack. Squall had wanted to ensure that, if Garden were ever forced into direct battle again, that those not actively fighting would be as safe as possible.
Rinoa led the students into the cavernous room and to their seats. Several long, high-backed, padded benches were installed in the room, creating several aisles down the length of the room. The benches were also fitted with seat belts and chest restraints, to protect those inside in case Garden were struck by heavy artillery, or if it were rammed.
As Rinoa finished strapping her students in, she heard another Instructor's frantic cry. "Oh, no! Michael? Where's Michael?" Rinoa ran over to the woman, who looked only a couple years older than she.
Rinoa tried to calm her down and said, "Are you missing a student?"
"Yes! He must have wandered off on the way down here!"
Rinoa nodded. I have to remember most of the staff doesn't know this is just a drill. "How old is he?"
"Uh, a-about e-eight," stammered the Instructor. "His name's Michael Raventrap."
"I'll go find him for you. Stay here."
"W-wait, Instructor Leonhart, don't! It's too dangerous!" The Instructor stepped in front of Rinoa.
"It'll be ok, trust me!" said Rinoa, lightly pushing the woman aside. "Stay here and watch over my kids, okay?"
The other Instructor, now beginning to hyperventilate, said, "Okay."
Rinoa put her hand on the woman's shoulder. "Everything will be okay." She then squeezed her way back through the door into the bunker, past a protesting SeeD guard.
Once back in the stairwell, Rinoa worked her way through the last few queues of students and arrived on the first floor. After a quick look around her, she cast a wide-range Scan spell. Even though it would not be as precise at wide range, she knew she could use it to detect an out-of-place eight-year-old boy in a nearly empty Garden.
She jogged around the first floor ringway, scanning the entire area. "Michael? Michael Raventrap? Are you here?" Her Scans returned nothing. He's not in the ringway, and the SeeDs guarding each sector wouldn't let an 8-year old kid run around in an emergency situation. She ran back to the stairwell and hurried up to the second floor.
*On the bridge, Squall studied the rapidly approaching Trabia Garden in his binoculars. "Weapon status?"
"Missile banks...one, three and four are loaded and ready. Two is coming up," said Nida. "Gatling guns are primed and set. Countermeasures are charged and ready."
Squall nodded. "Set countermeasures on auto-launch, and wait on my order to fire. Rule of engagement for this practice: they need to make the first move." Nida nodded and relayed the commands to the weapons crews through his headset.
"All right!" said Zell, jumping in the air. "We're gonna kick their butts!"
"Don't get too confident," said Squall. "I hear they have some excellent tacticians over there. What's our readiness?"
"Hang on," said Zell. He keyed his headphone mic, and said, "What's our battle readiness?" He nodded as he listened to the report. "Okay, everyone's in the bunkers...except...say that again? Ah, hell. One of the Instructors lost a kid, and another Instructor is out trying to find him."
Dammit, what the hell is that person doing? For all they know, this is a real attack! "Great. Tell the sector guards..."
Zell held up his hand. "Repeat that last part...? It's who?" Then, to Squall, "It's Rinoa, chasing down one of Laceel Markson's students."
Squall sighed and put his hand to his forehead. I told her she has to treat this like a real attack. "She knows it's a drill, Zell, but knowing her, she'd probably do the same thing even if the attack were real. Let her go." If I send any SeeDs to stop her, she'll probably scratch them to death.
Zell nodded. "She'll be okay," he said into the mic. "We'll sort everything out after the exercise is over."
*Quistis arrived with her students a few minutes after Rinoa had left. After she finished her headcount, she said, "Is there anyone missing?"
The SeeD guarding the door said to her, "Looks like only two are, Instructor. The rest are present and accounted for."
"Why are two people missing?" she asked. Then, quietly enough for only him to hear her, "Everyone is supposed to think this is a real attack."
"Uh, Quistis?" said a petite read-headed woman wearing an Instructor's uniform. "One of my students got away on the way down here from the second floor. Instructor Leonhart went after him."
Quistis closed her eyes and sighed. Squall's going to have a fit when this is all over. "Okay, I'm going to go get her," she said to the guard.
"What? No, ma'am, I can't let you do that. I have to make sure everyone stays here until an all-clear is issued." The SeeD straightened up, but looked nervous to be facing off with the well-respected Quistis Trepe. "I-I have to k-keep everyone here for their own safety."
I don't have the time to argue about this. "I'm pulling rank on you. Let me go, or you'll be back to Rank Level 1 before you know it."
"Uh...uh..." stammered the SeeD. Finally, he stepped aside and let Quistis open the bunker door.
Quistis sprinted up the stairs, hearing the bunker door slam shut behind her. When she reached the first floor, she heard a faint voice echoing through the door.
"Michael? Michael, where are you? We have to get to the bunker!"
Quistis continued up to the second floor, intending to use the high vantage point of the upper ringway to search the first level. When she arrived, she heard the voice calling again:
"Michael Raventrap, can you hear me? This is Instructor Leonhart! We have to get to the bunker!"
She's on this floor, thought Quistis. Then, she heard another voice:
"I...I'm here, Instructor! What's going on? I'm scared!"
He's on this floor, too. At least I won't have to go far to find them. At that moment, she heard several loud whumps, as if a set of air cylinders had been forcefully activated. The countermeasures, thought Quistis. The attack is starting. Squall's really going to be upset.
*On the bridge, Nida said, "Attack detected. Countermeasures have auto-launched."
Squall and Zell both watched the missiles fly out from Trabia Garden, which was growing closer with each minute. As the missiles approached, each one struck the floating countermeasure spheres. Instead of exploding, however, they popped, releasing a colored gel that sprayed out in all directions.
"Awesome!" shouted Zell. "They worked!"
"Second volley on its way," said Nida. A second set of missiles could be seen heading from the other Garden. This time, however, instead of hearing the pneumatic rush of the countermeasure launching system, they only heard the din of Garden's levitation system. "Squall...the launching system has a fault...the countermeasures are still in the tubes!"
"Evasive!" said Squall. "Launch our missile volley, and let's hope they intercept some of those."
"Hey, Squall...now Quistis is out of the bunker, looking for Rinoa!" Zell said, throwing his arms up in frustration.
"Dammit!" shouted Squall. "This war game is already turning out to be a big mess!" He grabbed the bridge railing as Nida steered Garden to the right, trying to avoid Trabia Garden's attack.
"Hey," said Zell, looking through his binoculars. "That one got past our missiles...and it's contrail doesn't look right!"
*"Michael!" Rinoa ran around the ringway, homing in on the spot where she'd sensed the young student. She finally found him sitting on the floor, his knees huddled to his chest. "Hey, Michael, are you okay?"
"I'm scared," said the little boy.
"It's okay, everything will be okay," said Rinoa, pulling the young boy into a hug. "Come on, we have to get to the B level." She took his hand, and the young man stood up.
"Rinoa!"
Rinoa looked behind her, and saw Quistis running toward her.
"Quisty!" Rinoa waved to Quistis. Then, to Michael, "Run to Instructor Trepe, okay? I'll be right behind you."
Michael nodded and started running to Quistis. Quistis shouted, "Let's get a move on, we have to get back to the bunker! The attack's already happening!"
Rinoa nodded, and started jogging toward Quistis. She heard several "plops", as dummy missiles struck Garden. Looks like this'll be quite a fight, she thought.
As Rinoa neared an open classroom door, she heard a high-pitched whistle. That's...not right, is it? It doesn't sound like a practice... She looked into the empty classroom, and her eyes widened when she realized what was about to happen.
The classroom's window exploded with a deafening blast. The force of the sudden explosion propelled razor-sharp shards of glass and metal into the classroom, and through the open door. The shards struck Rinoa an instant before the shockwave did, and she was thrust toward the opposite wall of the hallway. She screamed in pain as the pieces of shrapnel either embedded themselves inside her body, or flew right through her. When she struck the wall, her vision began to fade. Just before she lost consciousness, she heard Quistis scream her name.
"Squall..." said Rinoa, before she went limp.
Quistis turned to Michael. "Get to the bunker! Now!" She then ran over to Rinoa and pulled her away from the shrapnel. My God, they're really attacking us! She checked Rinoa over, and could see blood oozing out of countless small wounds. She checked her magic, and realized with a shock that she only had a single Cure spell with her.
"Cure!" she shouted. Small magical tendrils leapt from her body into Rinoa's. Rinoa stirred slightly, but moaned in pain and went limp again.
"Dammit!" Quistis shouted. Without hesitation, she picked up her friend and ran to the stairwell. Kadowaki should still be in the infirmary, thought Quistis, as she started to become soaked with Rinoa's blood. I have to get there now! "Haste!" she shouted. The world around her seemed to slow as the spell doubled her running speed. Hang on, Rinny. Please hang on!
*On the bridge, one second after the explosion rocked Garden, Squall fell to the floor, clutching his head in pain. "Rinoa!"
Zell quickly took charge. "Nida, tell them they've hit us with live rounds! Cease attack! Cease attack!" Nida frantically relayed Zell's orders to Trabia Garden on the emergency channel as Zell knelt down at Squall's side.
"Squall, you okay?"
Squall was dazed, and only dimly aware of where he was. He looked up at Zell and said, "She's...hurt! I have to get to her!"
"Wait, Squall!" shouted Zell, too late. Squall was already on the lift, on his way down to the third floor.
He rushed down the main stairs to the second floor, where he had felt Rinoa to be during the explosion. He ran around the ringway, and saw shattered glass, soaked with blood, scattered across the floor.
Oh my God! he thought. He then saw the drops of blood leading to the emergency stairway. He broke into a run, desperate to find Rinoa before it was too late.
*Quistis arrived at the Infirmary and saw Kadowaki and her medics carrying their emergency kits, getting ready to go find anyone who'd been hurt. When Kadowaki saw the bloody Rinoa in Quistis' arms, she immediately said, "In there!" and pointed to the small room across from her desk.
Quistis rushed Rinoa into the room and lay her on the bed. As she did so, Kadowaki appeared with her kit. Suddenly, Rinoa's eyes opened, and the muscles in her body clenched. Her back arched off the bed, and her teeth ground together. Quistis grabbed her hand, and felt Rinoa's crushing strength as the injured woman squeezed.
Rinoa's eyes focused on Quistis. Quistis looked into her friend's desperate eyes as she heard Kadowaki say, "Quistis, you have to..."
Suddenly, the Infirmary vanished. As did Rinoa.
*Quistis looked down at her hand, but it was empty. Instead, she was surrounded by a strange white fog that clung to her like a spider's web.
"Rinoa!" she shouted. "What...what is this?"
"Quisty," came a voice behind her. Quistis spun around, and saw Rinoa there. She was clothed in a brilliant white robe, and carried a white bundle in her arms. Quistis ran up to her, and saw what it was that she held.
It's a baby, she thought. Is that...their son?
"Quisty," said Rinoa again, "I don't have much time. Jett and I have been called. It's too late to stop this now, so I have to ask you to do something very important for me."
"Rinny...what's happening? Where are we?" Quistis tried to touch Rinoa, but her hand passed right through, as if Rinoa were an apparition. Quistis gasped.
"I'm about to die, Quisty. This is the crossroads into the afterlife."
Quistis stared at Rinoa in shock. "No, wait! Please, hang on, Rinny! Doctor Kadowaki's here now, and she can help! Please, don't leave us!"
Rinoa pursed her lips. "I've been lying to you all, Quisty. My powers...weren't sealed up after we beat Ultimecia. I've had them inside me, and I've been hiding them all these years." Rinoa hung her head in shame.
"W-what?" asked Quistis. "You...but...why didn't you tell us?"
"I didn't want you all to be in danger, in case the world turned against me for who I was. I wanted to know that you could all say you didn't know I was still a Sorceress."
Quistis felt her eyes begin to fill with hot tears. "But...but, Rinny, we're you're friends! We'd do everything we could to protect you!"
"I know," said Rinoa, sadly. "That's why I wouldn't let Squall tell you. I cared about you all too much to put your lives in danger. Only Squall and Edea knew. But now...you have to keep the secret. I must pass my powers on to you."
Quistis stepped back in shock. "Me? But I...I don't know anything about being a Sorceress! What if I...no, I'm sorry, but I can't accept them."
Rinoa shook her head slowly. Her voice began to grow faint as she said, "I can't stop it now. It's a reflex. You're the closest one to me, and they will jump to you whether I want them to or not. I wish I didn't have to pass them on, because I wouldn't willfully curse anyone with them. Especially not you."
Quistis tried again to touch Rinoa, but could only make contact with the thick white fog.
Rinoa continued, "You've been my best friend for so long. I can't leave this world in peace unless I pass my powers on, but I can't stay in this world, because my body's been so badly damaged."
Quistis stared at Rinoa for what felt like an hour, tears pouring down her cheeks. "It's my fault, Rinny. I should have had more curative magic on me."
Rinoa shook her head again. "It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be lying there in the hallway, dying alone."
Quistis collapsed to her knees. Finally, she said, "Okay, I'll accept them. If you have to go, I want you to be able to go in peace."
Rinoa smiled sadly at her friend. "Thank you," she said. "There's one more thing I have to ask, Quisty."
"Anything, Rinny," replied Quistis, fighting to keep her throat from seizing up.
"Please watch over Squall and Lexie. Lexie will need guidance when I'm gone, and Squall...Squall..." Rinoa's voice became more faint as a white glow from behind her began to envelop her body. "Don't let Squall close himself off. He'll need all of you, but especially you. You've loved him more than you think, and he loves you, more than he'd openly admit. Please, be his strength."
Quistis, still on her knees, looked up at her friend. Rinoa was almost totally gone now, with only her head visible. "I will, Rinny. I promise."
"I'll miss you, Quisty."
"I'll miss you too, Rinny..."
*"...get out of the way!" finished Kadowaki.
Quistis suddenly found herself back in the Infirmary, still clutching Rinoa's hand. "Huh...what?"
Suddenly, Rinoa's body began to glow with a bright blue light. Electricity jumped around her body, and shot quickly up her arm, into Quistis. Several spheres of light jumped off Rinoa's torso and embedded themselves in Quistis'. Quistis yelped out in pain, and fell to her knees.
"Someone help her!" shouted Kadowaki. One of her medics rushed in and helped Quistis to her feet, pulling her out of the room. Quistis, her face soaked with Rinoa's blood, and her own sweat and tears, just watched as Kadowaki frantically, and vainly, tried to revive Rinoa.
Quistis covered her mouth with her hand and sobbed as she saw Kadowaki's repeated attempts fail. Finally, Kadowaki hung her head. She checked her watch, noting Rinoa's time of death.
At that moment, Squall rushed into the Infirmary, having followed the trail of blood to this room. He saw Quistis, covered in blood and crying, and rushed up to her. "Quisty, are you all..." He looked over and saw Rinoa's body, lying on the bed in the small room.
His jaw fell open, and he rushed to Rinoa's side. Kadowaki attempted to pull a white sheet over Rinoa, but Squall grabbed her arm. "No! She's...she's not dead! She can't be!" He put his hands on Rinoa's shoulders, soaking his gloves with blood. "Rinoa? Rinoa, say something! Full-Life!"
White magical energies leapt from Squall's body into Rinoa's, but nothing happened. Squall ripped off his leather gloves and placed one hand on her forehead, taking her hand in his other. "Come on, Rin...Full-Life!" The spell was cast again, but to no avail. She's so cold... My God, this is my nightmare...
"No..." he said. He looked up at Kadowaki. "Our...our son...?"
Kadowaki shook her head, placing her hand on Squall's arm. "He was only four months along, Squall. Even if he hadn't been mortally injured, he wouldn't have been able to survive outside her womb."
Squall's head dropped. Tears flowed freely out of his eyes and dripped onto Rinoa's chest. Quistis walked up behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder. She wasn't sure if Squall was ignoring her, or if he didn't notice her, but he simply stood over his wife's body, weeping silently.
Then, he grabbed Rinoa's shoulders again. "Rinoa, come on. Say something to me. Please. Anything! I want to hear your voice. Don't leave me again! Please God, please no!" He sobbed harder with each word, and eventually fell to his knees. "Rinoa...God, please no. Please God, no. Don't leave me, Rinoa. I can't go on without you. I need you. Lexie needs you. I love you so much. Please!"
Squall buried his face in Rinoa's bloody chest and cried. He no longer cared if anyone saw or heard him. He had lost the one woman that he'd ever truly loved. Between cries, he continued begging her to speak to him. As Quistis watched him, her heart was torn in two.
Kadowaki walked up to Quistis, and put her hand on the Instructors shoulder. Quistis nodded, and Kadowaki left the room. Quistis closed the window blinds, blocking Squall and his beloved from view. Then, she closed the door to the little room and said, "Silence."
Gentle mystical waves flowed off her skin onto the door and walls of the room. The sound of Squall's sobbing and pleading ceased immediately. Quistis hugged herself tightly. As long as she left the spell active, Squall would have total privacy to mourn. He would want it, she thought.
She started walking toward the Infirmary's exit, when her legs collapsed underneath her. She fell to her hands and knees, but instead of trying to stand up, she stayed down and cried. The floor soon became soaked with her river of tears.
Seconds later, the Infirmary door opened, and several SeeDs entered. They all saw Quistis on the floor and tried to help her, but Kadowaki stopped them. She shook her head, and said, "Are there any more injuries?"
"No," said one of them. "We fortunately only got hit on one of the classrooms by a small sniper missile. Nobody was stationed in that area. The exercise has been stopped."
At that moment, Zell burst into the Infirmary. Seeing Quistis on the floor, he knelt down and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Quisty, are you okay?"
Quistis shook her head. "Rinoa...she...she's..."
She didn't have to finish the sentence. Zell's eyes went wide. "Oh my God," he said. "Where...where is she?"
She pointed to the small room behind her. Zell stood up and reached for the doorknob, but Quistis grabbed his leg. "No," she said, standing up. "Squall's in there. Please...just let him have some privacy."
Zell stared into Quistis' eyes. He had never seen her this distraught, and it shattered his heart to see it now. He staggered over to the bench in the waiting area and collapsed onto it, his face in his hands. He said something into his headphone mic, and then pulled it off his head. The other SeeDs just looked at each other, unsure what they should do next. They finally decided to leave the high-ranking personnel alone to grieve.
Moments later, Seifer ran in. When he saw Quistis, covered in blood and clutching her chest, he ran up to her and shouted, "Cura!"
The spell surrounded Quistis, but had no effect. Quistis shook her head. "No, Seifer, I'm not hurt. It's...it's..."
Seifer grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace. "What?" he said. "Did someone else get hurt?"
Quistis nodded, her face buried in the crook of Seifer's neck. "Rinoa...she's...she's...gone." She wrapped her arms around Seifer and held tightly.
Seifer was dumbstruck. Rinoa's...gone? No, can't be. He looked to Kadowaki, who simply nodded grimly. Oh, no. Squall, Lexie...what'll they do? Rinoa, I'm...I'm so sorry...I did those things to you. I'm sorry I...betrayed you... He squeezed his eyes tightly shut. The guilt of his actions, years ago, rushed to the surface again.
The room seemed locked in time, everyone afraid to move. After what felt like hours, the door to the small room opened. Squall stood there for a second, looking directly forward. Everyone looked at him, both sympathetic and worried for their friend.
Squall's expression was neither one of despair nor of shock. It was simply...detached from existence. He walked around Quistis and Seifer, past Zell, toward the Infirmary's exit.
"Squall..." said Zell.
Squall ignored him, not missing a beat. He left the Infirmary and headed toward the elevator. The elevator arrived with the normal "ping", and he stepped inside. After he pressed the button for the second floor, he nearly collapsed into the wall. Leaning on it for support, he stared blankly into his own reflection in the metallic bulkhead. He then shut his eyes and stood up straight, waiting to reach his destination.
When he arrived at the second floor, he walked calmly toward his and Rinoa's apartment. Once inside, he closed and locked the door. He sauntered, like a zombie, toward the vanity mirror in the living room and studied his reflection.
His eyes were red any puffy from crying, and his face, hands, and fur-collared jacket were stained red with the blood of his wife. His hair clung to his face, having absorbed his sweat and tears.
Squall looked at the wall beside the mirror, and saw his gunblade case. Slowly, he ran his hand along the right side of the case. When his fingers reached the combination lock, he slowly punched in the 12-digit code.
The lid clicked as the lock was released. He pulled the lid open, revealing his shimmering-white Lionheart gunblade. He grabbed the hilt and gently lifted the weapon off its hangers. When the sword was free, he examined its flawlessly polished surface with glassy eyes. Then, he closed those eyes, turned the gunblade on himself, and stuck the point into his chest, directly over his heart.
He tensed his grip on the blade, and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. I can't live without you, my angel, he thought. I'm coming to be with you.
*Seifer and Quistis were now sitting on the bench next to Zell, their silence the only testament they could give to their lost friend. As Seifer sat and thought, a disturbing possibility sprang into his mind.
"Squall...he wouldn't do anything...anything...crazy, would he?" he asked.
Quistis looked at him, her eyes tired and burning. "I don't...he...I don't know." Then, when she realized what Seifer meant, she said, "No...he wouldn't, would he?"
The two of them suddenly sprang up off the bench and broke into a run out of the Infirmary, leaving Zell to watch them with surprise. He started to get up and follow, but the sudden sight of a filled body bag being removed from Rinoa's small room paralyzed him. He stood there and stared, unable to move a muscle.
*Seifer and Quistis bounded up the main stairwell to the second floor. When they made it there, they skidded across the floor, rushing toward Squall's apartment. Once there, they found the door closed and locked.
"Squall?" said Quistis.
"Squall, we know you're in there! Don't do anything rash, okay?" Seifer pounded on the door.
Inside the room, Squall prepared to drive his blade through his heart, sending him to meet his wife in the Great Beyond. He opened his eyes once more, and noticed a picture on the vanity. It was Squall and Rinoa, holding baby Alexa in their arms.
"Lexie," he muttered. He gasped, realizing what he had almost done.
No, I can't do this, he thought. I'm all Lexie has now, and she's all I have. I won't orphan her like my father did me. He released his grip in the gunblade, and it clattered to the floor. Squall then staggered backward and fell, slumped over, onto the sofa.
Seifer and Quistis, hearing the metallic clang, feared the worst. "Move," said Seifer. Quistis stepped away from the door, and Seifer powerfully kicked it in, tearing the automatic deadbolt out of the wall. They rushed into the room, seeing Squall slumped on the sofa, covered in blood.
"Squall!" they shouted in unison, and ran to him. They then saw the gunblade on the floor, with no blood on the blade. "He didn't do it," said Quistis. Thank God.
Quistis kneeled down and tried to look into Squall's eyes. "Squall? Squall, please, say something."
"Where's Lexie?" he finally asked, his voice devoid of emotion.
"She should be in the bunker with the rest of the preschool children," said Quistis.
Squall stood up suddenly, nearly hitting Quistis' head with his knee. She stood up, and both she and Seifer watched as Squall walked calmly out of the apartment.
"He needs us," said Quistis. Seifer nodded, and the couple followed Squall to his next destination.
*Squall banged his fist on the bunker door. He heard several door bolds being slid aside, and the door swung open. Squall entered the bunker, to the surprise of everyone inside. He didn't realize they were shocked to see him covered in blood, but he didn't care, either.
"Lexie!" he called, just as Quistis and Seifer arrived.
"Daddy!" cried Alexa, her voice filled with fear. Squall followed the sound of her voice, and located her about halfway down the center aisle. He knelt down and undid her protective restraints. The Almasies followed him.
"Daddy, what's wrong with Mommy?" Alexa asked. He could tell that she had been crying. She knows, he thought. She felt Rinoa die, too.
"Mommy...Mommy's...gone to Heaven," he said, his words choked off by the lump growing in his throat. He pulled her into a tight hug.
"Mommy's...gone?"
Squall nodded. "She got hurt in an accident." How do I explain this to her? She's still to young to be able to grasp this.
"Will she ever come back?" asked Alexa, nearly crying again.
A sob escaped Squall's lips, and it was enough to start Alexa crying. Seifer placed his hands around Quistis' waist, and she fought hard to keep from crying again.
Squall stood and carried the child toward the bunker's exit. Before leaving, he said to the guard, "Give them the all-clear, but tell them to stay off the second floor. There will be a criminal investigation going on there very soon."
The SeeD said, "Yes, sir."
Squall then started up the stairs, carrying his weeping daughter. How will we go on? he asked himself. How will we live without her?