~*Everything You Want*~
Chapter Sixteen: Take My Hand
Dove: Yay! It's the last chapter!!!!!!!! There shall be an epilogue, but this is where the continuous saga ends. Happyhappyhappy! Thank you to a very old Sailor Moon fanfic titled "As the Tears Fell" for the present idea… that ficcy made me cry! Anyway. Enjoy this, and be on the lookout for "The End and the Beginning", the last in the Lolita triology, under my name but by both of us which, just between you and me, will turn to Roger/Cho and Draco/Ginny imminently…
Thalia: And the much-anticipated fluff hath finally arrived! Yay! Roggie and Cho are happy now... and they deserve it, after all the hell we put them through. They've suffered enough for being dense.~.^
Disclaimer: I, Thalia, thankfully do not own them. They've been snogging for three hours straight! GAH!! *muttering about public displays of affection*
"See my eyes, they carry your reflection
Watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you
Give your trust to me and look into my heart and show me, show me what you're doing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling
What you feel now is what I feel for you
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
I'll always be alone
If I'm lying to you
Take your time, if I'm lying to you
I know you'll find that you believe me
You believe me..."
-Dido, "Take My Hand
By mid-July, Cho was as close to herself as she had been in months. She ate without prompting, she didn't wake with nightmares every night, and she was known to smile softly at jokes, although she had yet to laugh again. Her family and Roger's were patient with her, and though she did feel rather like they were treating her as though she was made out of porcelain, she was grateful to them.
On the sixteenth of July, Cho stood in the kitchen, listening to the rain patter against her window and stirring a mixture of things in the wok on the stove using long cooking chopsticks. She had offered to make dinner, and her parents hadn't protested, going instead to some luncheon her mother had been invited to. The silence was absolute except for the gentle rainfall, and she found it soothing.
She felt better. She thought that she would never feel complete again, but she did feel as though there was a purpose to her life again. It was simply unclear in her mind yet. She had faith it would come into focus in time.
That day reminded her of Cedric. She wasn't sure why. The night before, she had watched the stars out of her window and remembered. The memories had been happy ones for the most part, and she had slept with a smile on her face.
Now they carried over. Her mind was playing back pieces of their last conversation as her hands mindlessly performed their task.
"You go through the motions of life. You go to your classes, do your Prefect rounds, smile at everyone without seeing anyone. Except for him, and everything that surrounds him. You can't go on like this. To the rest of the world, you might seem like you're just fine, but I know better…"
She shook her head. It was funny. Everyone thought she was upset about Cedric. And she was. She was heartbroken over Cedric. But that heartbreak had come on top of another, and two at once had simply been too much for her to handle. "Do you know, Cedric," she mused aloud, "we're not fighting anymore. I'll bet that makes you happy. He comes in my door without knocking again and plops down at the kitchen table as though he lived here. But he looks at me like his heart is broken. Is that how I look too?"
"…My best friend, and the fact that she's been heartbroken for nearly two years. I've been watching you, Cho, and this just can't go on."
"You always worried about me." He had been her big brother. Musing under her breath, she tossed a few strands of her hair impatiently back from her face.
Just then, the back door opened and Roger, wet with rain, came in. "Hullo, Cho. Have any food?"
"I will in a minute," she smiled softly. "Take a seat and grab some juice if you'd like. Find a towel first, though. Or cast a Drying Charm."
"Assiccare," he said, waving his wand over his head. Then Roger sat at the table and his eyes followed her as she moved efficiently around the room. "When did you find time to learn how to do this?"
"Here and there," she shrugged. "My mother would have been devastated if I didn't know how. I would be a failure as a woman."
Roger laughed, realizing she had just made a joke. It felt wonderful to hear it. "What have you been up to?"
She thought of the stargazing. "Nothing much. Passing the time. Thinking over some things. It was time for me to dig them up out of my memories anyway."
Roger cocked a brow at her. "Oh?"
Cho wasn't sure she should think about all of this with him around. "Just getting my mind in order. It has a tendency to wander." She put a cover on the simmering food. "Want to go play Quidditch in the rain?"
Roger grinned and nodded. "Let me get my broom." He vanished out the door.
"For a Ravenclaw, you can be really dense sometimes, Cho Chang."
Despite herself, she grinned as she fetched her Comet and went outside.
"Quidditch in the rain" soon became a war of who could splash the other the most with the rainwater. At the moment, Roger seemed to be winning, and was chasing Cho in circles around the yard. A moment later, the small girl disappeared into the foliage of a nearby tree.
Roger, not to be deterred, followed her... and got soaked. She had transfigured a branch into a watering can, and was gleefully drenching his head and shoulders. He coughed and sputtered, his hair drooping into his eyes. "I'll get you for that, Chang!"
Cho watched, a grin playing at the corners of her mouth as he shook his head, sending water droplets flying everywhere. His hair was plastered to the top of his head, but the ends stuck out on the sides. The effect was so comical that a laugh bubbled deep inside her throat, and escaped from her lips.
Roger stopped mid-shake, hearing a sound, a beautiful sound, that he had not heard in so very long. Cho was laughing. Spritely giggles escaping from her throat, as she watched him shake the water from his hair. He gave her a mock-glare, even though he was jubilant inside.
"C'mere, you..." he reached over and pulled her close with one arm, ruffling her shoulder-length hair with the other. Her laughter gradually died down, but she was smiling. A real, genuine smile. And for him, because of him! He pulled her into a hug, and she hugged him back.
The back door of Cho's house opened, and Ying-Ying Chang peered out, "Cho, Roger, where are you? Dinner is ready, come in before you catch death of cold!"
"Coming, Mama!" Cho called, and she disentangled herself and her broom from Roger and the tree and landed on the ground. Roger dropped down a moment later beside her. "We'll have to do this again sometime," she said to Roger. He nodded, and together, they walked towards the house.
Ying-Ying Chang and Cecilia Davies were looking at the two in amusement. Both soaked to the bone, hair and clothing a mess, dragging their broomsticks behind them, and grinning ear to ear. Ying-Ying tut-tutted for a moment, and cast a drying charm on both of them, telling them to go to the bathroom and wash their hands. The two, still smiling, did as they were told.
Cecilia watched her son follow Cho to the sink, and grinned at her friend, "I've an awfully strong feeling that your daughter's going to be the mother of my grandchildren some day. Ten Galleons that the first is a daughter."
Ying-Ying simply laughed and led Cecilia to a seat at the table.
***
Over the next week, Cho's laughter became a frequent sound. It didn't rain anymore, but she and Roger played Quidditch anyway. Roger was composing in major keys again, and Cecilia and Ying-Ying walked about with glowing faces as though they knew a marvelous secret. As for Roger and Cho themselves, both were enjoying having a best friend again far too much to actually say anything to alter the situation.
This changed on the twenty-third of July, on the eve of Roger's birthday. Cho had taken her portable telescope outside and set it up in Roger's yard near the birdbath, as there were too many trees in her own yard. Methodically, she named constellations. She spent a bit longer on Orion and smiled despite herself.
That was how Roger found her, coming outside to escape his father's constant queries as to why he had been stupid enough to sign his adult life away to the Auror Guild. It wasn't that he disapproved, Cecilia would say, only that he worried. Roger wished he would worry a bit less.
Seeing Cho, he ambled over to her and sat down. "Orion bright tonight?" he asked carelessly.
Cho gave a half-giggle which managed to sound rather sad. "Do you know, that's what Cedric asked me the first time he caught me in the Astronomy Tower after hours."
Despite his best efforts, Roger's heart gave a pang. "Cho-"
Cho tore her eyes from the telescope. "No, Roger, hush, all right? I think it's really time some feelings were aired. Will you listen to me?"
Roger shrugged uncomfortably. "Listen, Cho, I know you loved him."
Cho sighed. "Yes, I loved him. I loved him in the same way I love Penelope or Calista. He was the best friend I've ever had, Roger, because he never judged and never jumped to conclusions. But he was just my friend, Roger. There was never, never, anything more than that. Just… do your best to suspend disbelief, all right? I'm going to tell you absolutely everything, under the condition that you will not judge and you will not babble. All things considered, Cedric would have wanted you to know. Are you going to listen to me?"
Roger nodded dumbly.
"All right," Cho said. "Try to listen, since I'm only going to explain this once. Cedric was gay, Roger. He was interested in me only as a sister, a confidante, as someone who wouldn't give him away."
"Cedric was what?" Roger's eyes bugged out.
Cho smacked him on the arm, only half-playfully, "Oh, you heard me! Ced spent the greater part of the past two years silently pining over Harry Potter."
"Over… Harry… Potter…"
"Yes, that's right. Glasses, black hair, excellent Seeker, nice big scar? I'm sure you know him." Cho realized she was getting snippy and forced herself to calm down. "That night I was gone, he called me to the Astronomy Tower because he wanted to tell me about Harry and be reassured. Ced wasn't made of steel, you know. People walk around lauding him like he was a saint, but he was only human. He needed comfort, so I held him for the sake of giving him simple human kindness. Then we fell asleep.
"I woke up the next morning feeling really guilty because I had meant to talk to you about whatever it was you wanted… only you wouldn't talk to me at all." She sighed.
"When Cedric… died… I was devastated because, the way I saw it, I had lost the one person who loved me unconditionally. He had been my only true friend for months and months." She closed her eyes. "Then you brought me out of it. You held me when I needed to be held and were silent when I needed you to listen, and you made me remember that I still had a friend who cared about me." She looked up at him. "You made a hole in my life when you went away, Roger. I couldn't understand why. It took Cedric to tell me what had happened, what you must have thought…"
She took a deep breath. "I'm trusting you with his secret because he liked you, even pitied you. And he wanted nothing more than for us to work all this… silliness out and go back to how we were before. I was unhappy, and he saw it. You were unhappy too, I know you were. So why don't we just put it all behind us, now that I've said my piece? Please?"
Roger stared at her, transfixed. All this information that she had just given him was whirling around in his head, making him slightly dizzy. One thing stood out. Cedric had been gay... and he had liked Potter. And he, Roger Davies... had jumped to conclusions, like the fool that he was. He opened his mouth to say something, although he was not sure what. But before he could, Ying-Ying Chang's voice drifted from the open window.
"Cho Chang, come inside; it's way past your bedtime, young lady!"
"Coming, Mother!" Cho rolled her eyes, then grinned apologetically at Roger, though her eyes were still serious. "Look, I have to go, but... talk to you tomorrow." He nodded dumbly, and stood up as well. They looked at each other silently for a moment, and then Cho threw her arms around him in an impulsive hug. She leaned up, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Then, blushing slightly, she turned and went back towards her house.
"Oh, and happy birthday tomorrow, Roger!" she called over her shoulder as she opened the door and walked in. He simply stood, rooted to the spot, looking rather dazed, holding a hand over the spot on his cheek where she had just kissed him.
***
The next day was a flurry of people and activity. Roger was eighteen, and recently graduated. As thus, it meant lots of relatives and friends coming over to wish him well and shower him with presents. Cecilia and Ying-Ying, as well as Cho, had spent the day in the kitchen, refusing staunchly to let him in and see what they were doing.
Dinnertime rolled around, and finally, Cho emerged from the kitchen, an apron still tied over her white dress and a smudge of flour over one cheek, and greeted him. "Dumplings."
"Dumplings?" Roger repeated. Cho nodded and grinned.
"Dumplings. And almond cookies. And cake. And... strawberry pie. And a whole lot of other things that you like to eat. I think our mothers are trying to fatten you up before you leave..." her voice trailed off, and her expression became serious.
He simply nodded, but before he could say anything, a grinning Robin Harrison walked up to them and led him away, saying something about birthday spankings that made Roger blush and Cho giggle.
Roger noticed there had been no gift from Cho in the stack by the door. But before he could tease her about it, she came out of her house and beckoned him in. Shrugging, he made his excuses to his departing guests and followed her into the house and up the stairs to her room. "What's with all the mystery, Cho?" he asked.
"Well," she said, opening her closet and rifling around on the floor, "you remember the Christmas before last when I brought you a gift? It wasn't so well received, so I didn't come back after that, but…" She came out triumphant with a very large sack. "But something always compelled me, so…" She grinned. "Here's your birthday present for that summer," she said, handing him a large package.
"But… that summer I… was being such a total… you hated me, didn't you?"
"I despised you," she said easily. "That didn't matter, though."
He opened the package to find a large, leather-bound book. He flipped to a random page, and beheld the Chinese characters and concise English translations. He looked down the page and absently put his finger on it. "Bu yao yong sao zhu da wo," the book said clearly.
Cho fell over in a fit of giggles.
Roger shook his head. "What's that about?"
"You… don't need to worry… the Comet's downstairs…" she managed. After laughing a moment more, she explained. "You always said you wished you knew Chinese. This dictionary is enchanted so it will say the things you point to. You know, a personal pronunciation guide." She grinned widely. "That's just in case you decided not to listen to me and Mama, I know you've learned to tune us out. Besides, it talks slower." She giggled again. "Broomstick. How appropriate. I did want to hit you with mine that day, prat that you were."
Roger looked down at his place in the book and grinned. Under sample sentences, "Please do not hit me with your broomstick" was included.
"You have an interesting sense of humor, Chang," he said. "But… thank you."
"Don't start thanking me until after you see what a slave driver I can be," she suggested. "Now, this one is for Christmas of last year." She gave him a smaller box which he opened to reveal yet another book, written, from what he could tell, in French. "I couldn't find it in any other language, you know," she said with a grimace. "At least it's an easy one. I figured since you were so good at Charms it would be neat to find some obscure ones that would be… well, relatively useless, but entertaining. It's a bit above Weasley standards-I've never seen anything before that will make your opponent spout Shakesperean curses for hours-yes, of course I took a dictionary to it-but I thought it might amuse you."
"Is this a hint to become a linguist?" he laughed at her.
"Maybe," she said. "Now, finally, the present of the day. This took some work to hide, and it has been positively horrid not jumping up and down and telling you, but I've managed it." She opened the window and whistled softly. Moments after, a large eagle owl flew silently in and perched on Cho's arm. Roger's eyes went very wide, for he knew how few could actually afford an owl of this caliber. "Because Brunhilde is old," Cho said, referring to his current owl, "and because none of us know where you would be stationed, I have acquired a new friend for you. She's healthy and strong, as well as very very fast." With a gesture from Cho, the owl flew over to Roger and landed on his shoulder. "That's so you never forget to write home," Cho said, with a small serious smile on her face.
Roger had no idea what he could say. Finally, the new owl nipped his ear lightly as if telling him to get on with it and he tried a smile. "Thank you, Cho."
She bit her lip and nodded. "That first Christmas was-"
"A broomstick servicing kit," he finished for her. "I opened it last night. I meant to thank you."
Cho just smiled and shook her head. "It's all right. I'm glad you like them."
Roger looked at her for a moment, then grinned, "I owe you a bunch of presents as well." Pointing his wand at his house, he called out "Accio Cho's presents!"
Cho laughed as several wrapped packages flew from his open window towards where they were sitting. The packages landed in a heap on the bench in between the two of them, and Cho picked up the smallest one first.
"Christmas, when you came over to visit, and my mother gave you her combs," Roger said softly. She smiled slightly to herself, then looked at him.
"We weren't talking to each other, but we still got each other presents," she said, half-seriously, half-amused. He nodded, and motioned for her to open up the present.
It was a pair of small, glimmering sapphire earrings. Cho felt her breath catch in her throat. "They're beautiful," she whispered.
"They reminded me of you... even though I was angry with you," he blushed slightly, "Open the others."
She grabbed a larger package. "Christmas this year," he explained. "I thought you might need one..."
It was a cloak of deep blue velvet, lined with soft fur. "Oh Roger... you know you didn't have to..."
"I know," he said easily. "Open the rest."
A book on constellations and a pair of Quidditch gloves later, she threw her arms around him, a huge smile on her face.
"It's not my birthday any more, you know," she said softly, pulling back to look him in the face, "But... I think I want to take an extra present from you. For being a git and not giving them to me earlier."
And with that, she cupped his face in her hands and gently pressed her lips against his. It was only a moment, but Roger's mind was spinning when she released him. "Cho, I don't know… I mean you… and I can't just make you… I mean, right now-"
She out a hand to his lips to quiet him. "For a Ravenclaw, you can be really dense sometimes, Roger Davies," Cho said with a hesitant smile. "I've been in love with you for over a year. You've been in love with me for longer. And you couldn't make me do anything if you tried. Now, are you going to stop being a prat?"
Roger grinned at her, rather like a little boy at Christmas, silent for a few moments before reaching for her and pulling her close. "All right."
Downstairs, noticing it had at last grown quiet on the second floor, Cecilia grinned at Ying-Ying as they continued to clean up in the kitchen. At last, things were exactly as they should be.