Chapter 38
Jimmy came downstairs from putting Joey to bed. Charlie had gone down hopefully for the night about an hour before. Kim was in the kitchen finishing up with the dinner dishes. He walked into the kitchen and inhaled the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee. "Kids asleep?" she asked, feeling his presence behind her.
"Yup, out like lights," he said. "Mmmmm," he said, walking up behind Kim. "Smells great."
"It's just about done. I'll pour you some," she said, liking the closeness of Jimmy to her.
"Thanks," he said as he took in the fragrance of her hair. "I always did like the smell of your shampoo," he said, stepping a little closer. He put a hand on her shoulder and twirled a few stands of her hair between his fingers, bringing it up to his nose to take another breath of the fragrance.
"I know you did," she said, letting her hands, holding the sponge and dirty dish she was cleaning, hang down into the warm water. She leaned back against him and felt the muscles in his torso against her back. She closed her eyes briefly, remembering the feel of him next to her. Jimmy bent his head down and began nuzzling her neck and she snuggled in closer to him, letting out a soft moan at the feel of his lips on her neck. He turned her toward him and put a hand along her jaw, cupping her chin and bringing her mouth to his. She dropped the sponge and dish into the sink and turned into him, deepening the kiss.
After a moment, she found her senses and pulled away slightly. "Jimmy," she said, not wanting to stop. "We should really talk," she said, remembering that Jimmy had seen the scar and wanted answers to his questions. She'd told him that they would have a long talk after the kids were in bed. She needed to know what he wanted and what he didn't want. She needed to know what was in her future. She knew what she wanted it to be and hoped with all her heart that it was what he wanted to.
Jimmy let out a sigh, "Yeah, okay," he said in almost a whisper as he stepped back from her.
The buzzer on the oven went off and Kim welcomed the interruption. She tossed him the oven mitts and said, "Why don't you grab those cinnamon rolls out of the oven while I pour some coffee for us."
"Cinnamon rolls. My favorite," he said, licking his lips in anticipation. "The kind with the icing?" he said like a little boy.
"Is there any other kind?" she said teasingly.
Jimmy turned off the oven and put the hot pan on the top of the stove. He watched as Kim poured the icing over the hot rolls and it melted and ran across the tops and down the sides of the rolls. He felt his mouth watering. He looked up at Kim and saw her smiling at him. "What?" he said, embarrassed.
"You're worse than Joey," she said smugly, letting out a low chuckle.
They took the rolls and their coffee into the living room where it was more comfortable. The sat for a few minutes, each awkwardly sipping their coffee and eating a roll, licking the icing from their fingers.
"So," said Kim finally. "Dr. Nelson cleared you for work, huh? When?" she asked, wanting to hear him say that he wasn't going anywhere. But she couldn't force him to stay. It wouldn't work that way.
"I don't know. He said he'd give me another week or so for the headaches if I wanted," he told her. "What do you think I should do?"
"Jimmy. That's not for me to say. You have to figure out what's best for you. I do know that you love what you do and you're good at it," she said, looking at him.
"I do love what I do. But, I love my family also. I can't stand to leave Joey again and Charlie. My God, Charlie. She's beautiful. I love her so much," he said, tears stinging his eyes.
"Jimmy," Kim said only to be interrupted by Jimmy.
"Kim, what happened? What's the scar from?" he asked her, looking her directly in the eye. He wasn't going to let her skirt the issue any more.
"Jimmy. I had some complications when I had Charlie and ended up having to have a c-section," she started to explain. Tears sprang to her eyes when she thought of never being able to have another child. She didn't even know if she wanted anymore, but the thought of not being able to even if she wanted to hurt her deeply. A tear fell down her cheek and Jimmy was next to her in an instant.
"Kim," he said, wiping the tear away. "Tell me what's wrong?"
"Jimmy. Remember when I was pregnant with Joey and the hard labor I had with him?" she asked. Jimmy nodded his head yes, but he looked confused as he tried to understand what this had to do with Charlie.
"Well," she continued. "I never told you, but Dr. Williams told me that I shouldn't try to have any more kids. He told me that I could have major complications and even die if I did."
"Is that why you had to have Charlie by c-section?" Jimmy asked her.
"Yeah. I was coming home from work the afternoon she was born and I wasn't feeling well. I probably shouldn't have stayed at work as long as I did," she said, thinking back to that day. Jimmy nodded, encouraging her to continue.
"Well, the last thing I remember from that day is walking down the street from my job at the market where I worked while I was finishing nursing school. The next thing I remember is the next day when I woke up and Bobby was standing next to my hospital bed with Joey in his arms," she said, fresh tears starting to fall. Jimmy tightened at the mention of Bobby's name, but held back to let her finish telling him everything.
"I saw that I wasn't pregnant anymore and felt the pain from the surgery. I thought the worst. Turns out that I began bleeding and was unconscious. Bobby found me in the hospital and called Melanie and my Mom and they came out right away," she said. Jimmy mentally counted back from Charlie's age and concluded that was the time that Melanie had told him she was going away with friends from work. "Damn her for knowing and not telling me. What if Kim had died? He should have been here. For Joey at least," he thought to himself, anger rising within him.
"Anyway, I was in pretty rough shape. They told Mom that I might not make it, even if they did take the baby. She had to make a decision and they ended up doing the c-section and taking Charlie. But, there was a lot of bleeding that they couldn't stop it. They ended up having to do a hysterectomy," she said openly crying now. "Jimmy, I'll never be able to have any more children. Joey and Charlie are all I have," she said through her sobs.
Jimmy's heart broke at the pain she was in and he was torn between the anger of not being told and the emotional pain that Kim was in. He moved closer to her and placed a hand across her stomach. "Kim. I'm so sorry. I wish that you'd told me. Kim, I would have been here for you. I want to be here for you. For Joey and Charlie. Always," he said wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.
Just then the doorbell rang. Jimmy unwrapped his arms and got up to answer the door.
"What do you want?" Jimmy said angrily as Bobby stood in the doorway.
Jimmy came downstairs from putting Joey to bed. Charlie had gone down hopefully for the night about an hour before. Kim was in the kitchen finishing up with the dinner dishes. He walked into the kitchen and inhaled the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee. "Kids asleep?" she asked, feeling his presence behind her.
"Yup, out like lights," he said. "Mmmmm," he said, walking up behind Kim. "Smells great."
"It's just about done. I'll pour you some," she said, liking the closeness of Jimmy to her.
"Thanks," he said as he took in the fragrance of her hair. "I always did like the smell of your shampoo," he said, stepping a little closer. He put a hand on her shoulder and twirled a few stands of her hair between his fingers, bringing it up to his nose to take another breath of the fragrance.
"I know you did," she said, letting her hands, holding the sponge and dirty dish she was cleaning, hang down into the warm water. She leaned back against him and felt the muscles in his torso against her back. She closed her eyes briefly, remembering the feel of him next to her. Jimmy bent his head down and began nuzzling her neck and she snuggled in closer to him, letting out a soft moan at the feel of his lips on her neck. He turned her toward him and put a hand along her jaw, cupping her chin and bringing her mouth to his. She dropped the sponge and dish into the sink and turned into him, deepening the kiss.
After a moment, she found her senses and pulled away slightly. "Jimmy," she said, not wanting to stop. "We should really talk," she said, remembering that Jimmy had seen the scar and wanted answers to his questions. She'd told him that they would have a long talk after the kids were in bed. She needed to know what he wanted and what he didn't want. She needed to know what was in her future. She knew what she wanted it to be and hoped with all her heart that it was what he wanted to.
Jimmy let out a sigh, "Yeah, okay," he said in almost a whisper as he stepped back from her.
The buzzer on the oven went off and Kim welcomed the interruption. She tossed him the oven mitts and said, "Why don't you grab those cinnamon rolls out of the oven while I pour some coffee for us."
"Cinnamon rolls. My favorite," he said, licking his lips in anticipation. "The kind with the icing?" he said like a little boy.
"Is there any other kind?" she said teasingly.
Jimmy turned off the oven and put the hot pan on the top of the stove. He watched as Kim poured the icing over the hot rolls and it melted and ran across the tops and down the sides of the rolls. He felt his mouth watering. He looked up at Kim and saw her smiling at him. "What?" he said, embarrassed.
"You're worse than Joey," she said smugly, letting out a low chuckle.
They took the rolls and their coffee into the living room where it was more comfortable. The sat for a few minutes, each awkwardly sipping their coffee and eating a roll, licking the icing from their fingers.
"So," said Kim finally. "Dr. Nelson cleared you for work, huh? When?" she asked, wanting to hear him say that he wasn't going anywhere. But she couldn't force him to stay. It wouldn't work that way.
"I don't know. He said he'd give me another week or so for the headaches if I wanted," he told her. "What do you think I should do?"
"Jimmy. That's not for me to say. You have to figure out what's best for you. I do know that you love what you do and you're good at it," she said, looking at him.
"I do love what I do. But, I love my family also. I can't stand to leave Joey again and Charlie. My God, Charlie. She's beautiful. I love her so much," he said, tears stinging his eyes.
"Jimmy," Kim said only to be interrupted by Jimmy.
"Kim, what happened? What's the scar from?" he asked her, looking her directly in the eye. He wasn't going to let her skirt the issue any more.
"Jimmy. I had some complications when I had Charlie and ended up having to have a c-section," she started to explain. Tears sprang to her eyes when she thought of never being able to have another child. She didn't even know if she wanted anymore, but the thought of not being able to even if she wanted to hurt her deeply. A tear fell down her cheek and Jimmy was next to her in an instant.
"Kim," he said, wiping the tear away. "Tell me what's wrong?"
"Jimmy. Remember when I was pregnant with Joey and the hard labor I had with him?" she asked. Jimmy nodded his head yes, but he looked confused as he tried to understand what this had to do with Charlie.
"Well," she continued. "I never told you, but Dr. Williams told me that I shouldn't try to have any more kids. He told me that I could have major complications and even die if I did."
"Is that why you had to have Charlie by c-section?" Jimmy asked her.
"Yeah. I was coming home from work the afternoon she was born and I wasn't feeling well. I probably shouldn't have stayed at work as long as I did," she said, thinking back to that day. Jimmy nodded, encouraging her to continue.
"Well, the last thing I remember from that day is walking down the street from my job at the market where I worked while I was finishing nursing school. The next thing I remember is the next day when I woke up and Bobby was standing next to my hospital bed with Joey in his arms," she said, fresh tears starting to fall. Jimmy tightened at the mention of Bobby's name, but held back to let her finish telling him everything.
"I saw that I wasn't pregnant anymore and felt the pain from the surgery. I thought the worst. Turns out that I began bleeding and was unconscious. Bobby found me in the hospital and called Melanie and my Mom and they came out right away," she said. Jimmy mentally counted back from Charlie's age and concluded that was the time that Melanie had told him she was going away with friends from work. "Damn her for knowing and not telling me. What if Kim had died? He should have been here. For Joey at least," he thought to himself, anger rising within him.
"Anyway, I was in pretty rough shape. They told Mom that I might not make it, even if they did take the baby. She had to make a decision and they ended up doing the c-section and taking Charlie. But, there was a lot of bleeding that they couldn't stop it. They ended up having to do a hysterectomy," she said openly crying now. "Jimmy, I'll never be able to have any more children. Joey and Charlie are all I have," she said through her sobs.
Jimmy's heart broke at the pain she was in and he was torn between the anger of not being told and the emotional pain that Kim was in. He moved closer to her and placed a hand across her stomach. "Kim. I'm so sorry. I wish that you'd told me. Kim, I would have been here for you. I want to be here for you. For Joey and Charlie. Always," he said wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.
Just then the doorbell rang. Jimmy unwrapped his arms and got up to answer the door.
"What do you want?" Jimmy said angrily as Bobby stood in the doorway.