I winced as the first rays of sunlight fell on my face. I didn't open my eyes, I didn't want too. My life was a living hell. I hated waking up day after day to sadness and pain. There was no point in living, no friend's, or love life, bad grades, and bad family, School sucks ass. I had no friends there at all. They even have an anti- Blair club just for me. My family sucks too. My dad swears a lot and smokes, and my mom is almost never home because she works so much. I hate them both. My little, 8 year- old brother, Sid, is a little brat with no life. He runs around farting and being an ass. I heard the door, to my lonely room in the attic, open slowly. I shut my eyes pretending to be asleep. "Come on B, I know your awake" my dad said. I shut my eyes tightly. It was still 5:36a.m to early to be awake. "Blair get the fuck up before you miss the damn bus!" my dad yelled savagely "I don't take the bus," I groaned, "I walk." "Get up anyway, I don't need you futzing around." I stuck my middle finger at him as he left the room, slowly sat up and yawned. My room was a mess and mom was going to make me clean it soon, she always did. But what was the point, when it was just going to get dirty again. My room was so plain, just like everything else in my life. The room had teal theme, everything was teal but the rug, which was white. I wanted the room to be black and red, for death and blood to fit my mood, but my dad would never let me and my mom would never have the time any way. I somehow made my way, tripping over all my crap, out the door and to the shower; I stripped of my boxer shorts and long T-shirt and stepped into the shower. The water came out cold and fast making me jump back. I stepped into the reign of water as it warmed. I sighed, I loved showers. They cleansed you, and just for a few minutes you free, they also gave me time to think. I guess my only real friends are my neighbors Bee and John. I had other friends, but only a few. I had always been the shy one in that group, of Adrian and Cassie. Cassie only handed with me because Adrian is one of my "best friends." I was always the follower never the leader. I'm pretty out-going when I'm with people I like, but with others I won't say a word. I guess its called insecurity. My friends have always out-shadowed me, in smarts, looks, and popularity. But I always followed them around anyway, and I would cling to them because they are the only ones I have, besides Bee and John, they don't care. I've grown up now. When I was little I used to have dreams and goals. I wanted to grow up and live happily ever after with prince charming. Go on adventures with dragons, knights, and witches. But that was a long time ago. Those dreams are fuzzy, in the back of my mind now. I have no dreams now, no adventures, no happily ever after, just depression, swallowing me up like a great, black hole.