Family Ties II

Chapter 4

The Truth You're Not Willing to Hear

"Ain't this a bitch," Faith said humorlessly before pushing herself from the table.

The remaining six Scoobies gave her a cursory glance before returning their attention to the bespectacled Watcher.

Xander was the first to speak. "Mind runnin' that by us again, G-man. For a minute there, I could've sworn that you said that sacrificing Dawn would prevent the apocalypse."

"That is what he said, Xander," Anya replied, though her tone was subdued.

Giles had gathered the courage to look Buffy in the eye and immediately wanted to turn away from her piercing gaze.

"Giles," was all she said but in it contained every emotion she was feeling. Fear. Anger. Confusion. Sorrow and despair. Resent. And the emotion that had Giles wanting nothing more than to scurry into the nearest crack and die.

Betrayal.

Buffy had seen the hurt in her former Watcher's eyes when he had looked up at her but at the moment, the only thing she could think of was how the man that had been like a father to her could do this. In truth, she knew he was only dispatching information, thus not guilty in the slightest but the slayer was not in a world of rational thought as she envisioned Dawn up on the tower-- her stomach sliced open as her blood opened the portal. Giles had said that the only way to close it was Dawn's blood but there had been another way and the resilient slayer had found it. She was thankful of that, at least, for her friends because if her epiphany had not come, then they all would have died. She knew it was selfish, but she would not have sacrificed Dawn.

Was now any different?

"Buffy," Giles pled as he reached out to her but quickly pulled back when the feral growl of the vampire kneeling at her side rumbled through the air. Giles risked a glance at the platinum blond and was unable to hide his apprehension at the ferocity reflected in the vampire's eyes. It had been quite awhile since Rupert Giles had been afraid of Spike, but now, as he watched flecks of gold dance behind icy blue eyes, the former Watcher knew fear.

"So, Rupes," Spike said almost cheerfully though no one missed the acidity liquefying his words. "What you are sayin' here--and make sure to correct me if I get anything wrong--is that the only way to stop this coming apocalypse is to merge my Nibblet with some First Evil bitch so that they can become one? Does that suss it all up?" he finished sarcastically.

"Look Spike," Giles reasoned, "I know how…"

"Don't. You. Fuckin'. Say. It." The vampire ground out, his features morphing between human and vampire. "You know how I feel? Has the Council of Wankers' arrogance rubbed off on you while you were visitin' them in Merry Old England? How I feel?" He reiterated and motioned get up before a gentle squeeze on his shoulder tempered the demon fighting to emerge.

"Spike," Buffy said and, though her tone was clipped, the vampire understood the underlying affection she had spoken with.

"Sorry, luv," he acquiesced but not before hurling one last glare at the Watcher.

"Buffy," Giles began anew, "I am so sorry that I had to tell you like…"

"There's another way," she said, cutting him off.

"There is?" Willow asked, speaking up for the first time. The emptiness she felt when Giles told them what was to happen was all consuming and shock was what had staved off tears. All she could think of was how Dawn always seemed to be the target of some big evil's plan of world domination--but this was different. According to Giles, the only way to save the world was to actually allow the ritual to take place that, in and of itself, was a first. The feeling of helplessness was almost too much for Willow as she thought of her surrogate little sister but the overwhelming weight was shifted when the loving arms of Tara encircled her waist. Willow had leaned into her lover and listened as the Wicca whispered words of encouragement to the red head and all she wanted to do was give that same hope to the others.

"I mean, there is," Willow backtracked. "There has to be. I mean, we are the Scoobies; we always find a way," she capped off the last statement with a gentle squeeze of Buffy's shoulder and the slayer relaxed visibly.

"Willow's right, Giles," Buffy said with confidence. The constant contact with Spike and the gentle assurance of her best friend had given the slayer faith where little had been just a few minutes ago.

"There has to be another way," she held a hand up when the Brit moved to speak, "Look, I know what the scrolls or whatever say, but haven't they said that before? We always find a way around the rules. Hell, we are the masters of circumventing prophecies. What's so different about this one?" She glanced down at Spike who returned her look with a loving smile as his fingers entwining her hand squeezed hers lovingly.

Giles didn't know what to say to the family before him. How did he tell them what they did not want to hear? Hell, he had heard--rather read--it loud and clear and it had been the last thing that he wanted to hear. In fact, he had spent the last month tirelessly researching any possible contingencies that could perhaps divert the words written on the scroll to no avail. When it looked as if he had found one alternative to combat it, he would only find it negated upon rereading the prophecy. It had been like that each time and it hadn't been until two days ago, when the scroll thrummed with an unexpected green energy that he had given up his search for an answer. He was powerless to stop it, they all were. But he had known that it would be better that they at least be prepared for it. And this was not something one discussed over the phone.

"Believe me Buffy," Giles drawled tiredly. It was as if the last month and his subsequent transatlantic flight had pounced on him simultaneously and his eyes burned from lack of sleep. But sleep was often an unheralded luxury in his profession, and so he trudged forward dutifully. "I have spent the last month combing over the Watchers Chronicles in search for a portent that could possibly shed light on circumventing this. My efforts, however tireless in their diligence, were fruitless nonetheless.

"Buffy," he tentatively reached for her hand and was relieved when she allowed him to take it. He purposefully ignored the derisive snort that rumbled from Spike's throat. "Buffy, you know how much Dawn means to me and you must know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for her."

"But you would have sacrificed her on the tower," she accused and immediately regretted her words. She saw as her pseudo-father's face fell and his eyes misted before the staunch control coursing through him clamped off the emotional response.

"Yes, I would have," he admitted emotionlessly though she could see his tight jaw convulse under the pressure he ground it with. "I would have sacrificed her for the lives of the billions of people in this world--so that they wouldn't have been drawn into that hell and faced unimaginable torment. And," he removed his glasses and set them on the table, "despite the resolution of those circumstances, despite the fact that I did not have to give your sister's life to save the world, I do have to live with it. I have to live with the knowledge of what I would have done, if necessary, no matter the personal costs, as it was a duty I had sworn to uphold. And I am reminded of that every time I see her laugh or cry or pout like only a stubborn-hormonally-charged teenager can. I will always live with that guilt and no matter how things turn out, no matter how much of a happy ending we all get, I will always carry that around inside of me. And you cannot possibly know the ache I feel," he placed a hand over his heart, "here every minute of every waking day."

Buffy, blown away by her mentor's confession and, feeling like the ultimate bitch dropped her eyes in shame. She knew she had always had a habit of 'shooting the messenger' and never believing that said messenger cared anything about the severity of the news he or she dealt. She had reacted accordingly on instinct after Giles' explained the prophecy to them, never taking into consideration that this was just as hard on him as it was on her, yet he was more refined in hiding his pain.

"Giles, I…" she began but was silenced by a curt wave of the Watcher's hand.

"That's not important. The only reason I shared that with you was ensure there is no doubt in your mind as to where my loyalties lie, Buffy." His eyes softened somewhat before he continued. "Buffy, understand that I love Dawn as I love you. Though I may not always express it, she is like a daughter to me and I would do anything for her…"

"Except this, it seems," Spike muttered. Giles flicked a glance the vampire's way and decided to ignore him. He had seen firsthand the bond between the Key and the vampire the summer Buffy was gone and realized that any course of action that didn't start with 'We save Dawn by…' would receive a more than unwelcome response from the blond.

"There has to be a way, Giles," Buffy whimpered as the tears threatened to spill once more. "You can't expect me to choose between saving Dawn and saving the world. I can't do it."

"S'alright, pet," Spike soothed and ran his knuckles gently up and down the slayer's face. Her ragged breathing began to slow and she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply several times. While her eyes were closed, Buffy reached up for the hand caressing her face and intertwined her fingers with the cool, slender digits of her vampire lover. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at him gratefully. She nodded once and Spike returned the gesture before focusing back on the Watcher.

"Look, Rupes," he started, the malice from before all but gone and in its place was a resigned yet determined weariness. "Emotions are runnin' a mite bit high here and we may very well spout out some things we don't mean," Giles nodded stoically, knowing that this was probably the closest thing to an apology he would ever receive from the vampire.

"What I'm sayin' Watcher, is that maybe with a bit o' creative problem solving, we could take a look at those prophecies of yours and we can see what we can see."

Giles listened to the vampire before placing his glasses back on. "Spike, I understand your anxiety at the situation, but I assure you, I have scavenged these scrolls nonstop for the past month without finding a single that could possibly help us. The prophecy is quite clear in that only by the Enjoining of the Light and the Dark, will our reality be saved."

Spike's jaw clinched and the grating of his teeth was heard throughout the store. Everyone winced, mentally preparing for the vampire to fly off the handle again, to rip and roar about the incompetence of the Watcher and they were naturally taken aback when he smiled, albeit blatantly false in its sincerity.

"I understand that, Rupert, but what you may not understand is that your research, though diligent, has crippled you. Before you get your knickers in a twist, listen. You've been at this a month, no?" On Giles' nod, he continued. "When was the last time you have seen something you haven't noticed before, read between the lines if you will? Would I be correct in assuming at least a week?"

"Two, actually," the Brit conceded.

"Now is it also correct to assume that you know every inch of that text like your flat?" Giles' nodded warily, unsure where this was headed.

The other Scoobies watched intently, amazed at the surprisingly calm, if not confusing, point their former mortal enemy was in the process of formulating. They had never known Spike to react with his intelligence as he so often was driven by his passions and it was both his greatest strength as well as his most glaring weakness. The more they listened, the more they were thankful for the passions that drove him because if he had only used his obvious intelligence more diligently, then he might have buried them all long ago.

"The thing is, Rupes," he said almost cheerily, his accent had switched from the stiff-upper crust at the start of his speech back to the cockney accent they had become used to. It was a signal to the listeners that he was gaining confidence in what he was saying. "knowin' something so well ain't always an asset."

"Not to interrupt this highly entertaining and thoroughly confusing rant," Xander chimed in, his hand raised, "but since when is not knowing something of the bad?"

"That's easy," Anya chirped. "See, when you get to know someone or something intimately," she shrunk back slightly at their warning glares, "or not intimately, if you don't vary things, spice stuff up, you may start to grow tired of it. Now, maybe your boredom will be wiped away if that thing changes drastically. But how many people do that? And why? I mean, wouldn't you fall out of love with them if they did since they aren't the same person you fell in love with in the first place?"

They all listened intently, ready to cut her off at the first mention of 'orgasm', though she had managed to at least temporarily banish it from her vocabulary. Spike was the only one that smiled, as he knew that she understood what he was trying to say, and instead of interrupting her, the master vampire remained silent, content on her making his point for him.

"What usually happens is that minor changes occur say, for instance, I start using a different conditioner or cut my hair half an inch," she glared at Xander before returning back to the others, not giving him time to speak. "But if you are so familiar with someone, often those subtleties are overlooked. But someone not as familiar like, say Willow, will see that I did indeed cut my hair and change to a more moisturizing and natural conditioner while my husband-to-be doesn't notice as he is so caught up in his comic books." She crossed her arms and again shot a surly glare at her fiancé who opened his mouth to plead his case only to be cut off by a soft applause.

"And a Cupie Doll for the lady," Spike gushed, his angular features split by an enticing grin. "By the way, luv," he said to Anya, "love the Herbal Essence." The comment had its desired effect and the ex-vengeance demon beamed.

"Thank you," Anya offered, "at least somebody pays attention to detail," she flamed and flicked a bang to the side when Xander tried a peace-offering kiss.

"So what my platinum boy here is saying, Giles," Buffy chimed in, "is that you are too close to this right now." She graced her lover with an appreciative smile before addressing her former-mentor.

"What we need, and what we have now are seven fresh pair of eyes that have yet to form any conclusions on what they have already seen. Couple that with the fact that we have a thousand year old ex-demon, two researching Wiccas and a century old vampire (even if he happens to sometimes shows the maturity of a seven-year-old)," she jibed and smiled at Spike's indignant snort, "and we have more than a fair shot of finding something you may have overlooked."

Giles contemplatively massaged his forehead, astounded by the fortitude of his family. But the more he thought about it, the more his surprise waned. They had always possessed a particular determination that was not learned, yet a part of them naturally. No, he was not really surprised with their resolve, yet he was disappointed in his own haughty assumptions that they could offer no further assistance with the text.

"You do have a point," the Watcher conceded, "I apologize to you all for not taking into account your resourcefulness earlier."

"It's okay, Giles," Buffy reassured. "We forgive you. We know that in your old age, things have a tendency to slip your informationally-overloaded cranium." Giles had to smile at the strong woman before him. Not five minutes ago, she appeared to be heading for a total collapse but she had bounced back with the same resilience she had shown over their six years together. It was a strength not born of her slayer abilities but a foundation of character he had not seen in all his years of experience. He surmised that she did not know that she possessed such a commanding authority within her, though the Watcher had to begrudgingly admit that Spike appeared to notice it as well. In fact, it was quite peculiar that Spike seemed to know the exact words or actions to draw forth Buffy's hidden potential. It was something that garnered further investigation.

"So," Faith said as she rejoined the circle of allies around the table, "whose for coffee?"

***

Light of the World, Center of Life

Void after Nothing, Mother of Malice.

Two halves of Creation, two spectrums

Through separation, come into their strength.

Beginning will become the End

When the two lost halves are not when needed as One.

***

Four hours and several stacks of notes later, the Scoobies were no closer to finding a solution. Giles had been correct in that there was nothing in the writing that told of a way to prevent the manifestation of the prophecy without dropping the apocalypse straight into their laps.

One thing that Giles had not expected, however, was the wealth of knowledge that resided in Faith. She told them the things Emerald had said to her as well as some of the prophecies concerning Gabriel and his ushering forth of Armageddon.

"So you believe that Dawn in your time was also merged with The First?" Giles asked.

Faith nodded. " 'S the only explanation. I mean, for my first eight years she was like any other aunt with me. But then she started to change."

"Her personality?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah. Sometimes she was the same Auntie Dawn while other times she was just a stranger wearing my aunt's body. Everyone was concerned about her and she always insisted that nothing was wrong. But we knew," everyone watched as the young woman's eyes clouded over, tears on the brink of spilling. Faith roughly ran the back of her hand across her eyes and coughed purposefully to remove the ache in her throat.

"And then, not two weeks after my tenth birthday…she disappeared. I didn't see her again for thirteen years."

After Faith's last words, the group could only stare blankly at the papers in front of them. Buffy was both relieved and disturbed at the news Faith shared. True, she had heard some of it earlier, but now it actually gave her hope. On the one hand, she had thought she would lose Dawn to the ritual but Faith's retelling of the future comforted Buffy. Dawn would remain at her sister's side for forty year although, ultimately, she would be lost. Buffy felt herself being torn both ways. She could either prevent the First from completing the ritual and hope for the best, or she could allow the ritual to be completed and spend the next forty years attempting to change history. She had hope that it might work considering how Faith had told her earlier that Dawn had refused harm to come to her sister. Not only that, but she had also assisted Faith in getting here which meant that the Dawn Buffy had loved as a sister was still in there.

"We have to choose," Buffy said, catching everyone by surprise.

"Choose?" Xander asked and ran a hand through his hair. "Choose what, Buffy? I don't mean to be Mr. Rockin'-the-Boat here, but it doesn't seem like we have too many choices--at last count we had…one."

"No, Xander," Buffy replied, her voice resigned and filled with weariness, "we have two. We can either let the ritual commence and the Enjoining be completed…or, we can stop it and pray that the texts are wrong."

"You…you know, I'm usually all for choices," Willow offered, "big ra-ra for choices, but Buffy…those really aren't choices."

Buffy sighed. "It's the only thing we've got."

"Well…ma…maybe Giles is right," Tara said hopefully.

"Yeah, Glinda?" Spike asked sarcastically. "And how did you come to that conclusion?"

Tara winced noticeably at the vampire's sardonic attitude and Spike sighed in annoyance--not at Tara but at himself.

"Sorry, Tara," he said and she was surprised at hearing him use her first name. " 'S just that everything's gettin' to me. Don't mind the Midol-needin' vamp over here." The vampire's honesty at thinning nerves caught the group off guard and everyone realized just how much he truly cared for Dawn. But his last comment spurned a most necessary release of tension in the form of muffled laughter.

After a few minutes everyone, including Giles, wiped the tears from their eyes and Spike huffed, feigning displeasure at being the focal point of their laughter.

"Well, I'm bloody well glad you all 'ave gotten your gigglies under control," this only started the women into another binge of laughter while Giles and Xander held it in as best they could.

"Well Spike," Xander quipped, still rubbing the tears from his eyes, "if you go all homicidal on us again we are in trouble now that you know our weakness."

Spike gave the brunette a vicious smirk before turning to Buffy, "Doesn't matter anyway. You know my weakness."

Buffy blushed at Spike's obvious suggestions and focused her attention back to Tara. "Sorry, Tara, we got kinda outta hand there. What did you have in mind?"
"Well," she began timidly, "Da…the Dawn from Faith's time went through a good forty years before the Evil inside her took its full effect." She looked to Faith for confirmation. The future slayer responded by touching her nose and pointing her finger at the Wicca.

Smiling, Tara continued, "If…if it took her that long to be corrupted, wouldn't it make sense to believe that, now that we know what's wrong with her, we could continue to keep her from letting it overtake her?"

"Assuming," Giles answered, "that things remained as they were. However, considering that Faith here has come into our company, it is doubtful that other things wouldn't change as well. For all we know, Dawn could be completely taken over by the completion of the ritual or she could remain herself indefinitely. Either way, I would hesitate to put credence in the notion that things will play out in the exact sequence as Faith is familiar with."

"So what are you saying?" Buffy snorted and it was obvious that she was again reaching the end of her tether. A deep pang of sympathy echoed in Giles' chest as he studied the world-weary eyes of his slayer. Barely twenty-one, she had already died twice, averted seven apocalypses--including one where she was fated to send her lover to hell. It had almost destroyed her and he had thought that, sometime last year, that wound was finally beginning to heal. It was torn away, however, by the sudden death of her mother and the battles with Glory. She had known that if Glory opened the portal, she would have to sacrifice Dawn but she had found another way—jumping through the portal herself instead. Now, she was faced with the same thing; let Dawn be taken and merged with Evil itself or stop it and allow the world to fall into utter chaos. It was not a decision to be made lightly and, despite what he knew had to be done, Giles was going to leave everything up to Buffy.

"What I'm saying Buffy is that," he inhaled sharply before continuing. "The decision is yours."

"Decision?" She blared incredulously. "You know I was being sarcastic when I said we had two choices to make, don't you? This is not a decision. It's like a vampire choosing to be staked or decapitated—not much room for happy results."

"Giles," Buffy pled, the tears again coursing down her face, "how am I supposed to choose?"

"Buffy, it won't be easy. In fact, it will be the most difficult thing you have ever had to do. But I know you can do it. As impossible as it may seem, I know you will make the right choice." Giles uncharacteristically wrung his hands as he stared into her large hazel eyes. He could see the agony eating away at her but he could not interfere. He had left so that she could grow on her own, make the difficult choices and while this particular situation wasn't what he had had in mind, he still aimed for her to make due with it.

Giles caught a flash of…something in the slayer's eyes before they dimmed. He knew then that she had made her decision and, as much as it would destroy her, she was willing to sacrifice herself.

"Buffy," the Watcher soothed and reached out to her. She pulled away and rose to her feet, knocking her chair away, startling the onlookers.

"Don't touch me," she spat and Giles was crushed by the contempt in her eyes and the betrayal lacing her tone. "Don't you ever touch me." She stumbled out of the Magic Box, oblivious to the sound of her name carrying through the air as she walked out the door and into the light.

"Buffy," Spike called again and rushed to her retreating form before a hand fastened around his bicep.

"Bloody 'ell, Bitlet," Spike admonished and tried to remove his hand from Faith's grasp but she refused to let go. "What are you doin?"

"Let her go, Spike." Her voice was soft yet her eyes were hard and they brokered no argument.

Spike studied her, the anger slowly seeping from him and he relaxed in her grasp. He wanted to rant and rave about the stupidity of letting the distraught slayer go so close to game time but, for a reason he could not fathom, he trusted that the young woman knew what she was doing.

Nodding solemnly, the vampire stalked across the floor and entered the training room. It surprised everyone in the room when the door quietly clicked shut.

Smiling sadly in the direction her father went, Faith turned her attention to the crushed Watcher in front of her. She knelt in front of him and gently touched his shoulder.

"Go to her," she said, her voice painful in its softness.

"I…I don't believe that is the best course of action at this particular time," Giles replied and then laughed hollowly at his own long windedness.

"Grandpa," she said and smiled when shock then wonder filtered across the features of the Watcher. "The one thing my Mum regretted when you…died, was that she didn't expressed her feelings for you often enough. It took her a long time before she said she loved you and it wasn't too long after that that you were taken away from her. I don't know if you realize it or just keep it hidden, but you are her father. You have been for the last six years. And she loves you like one. The problem is that you two are so similar, afraid to cross that boundary of admittance of what you have; don't do that. Because you'll find that time has a way of moving faster than you would like."

Giles watched in admiration as Faith walked to the back of the store and into the training room. His was thrown by the accuracy of her words. It was true that he had loved Buffy like a daughter for quite sometime and she knew that from the words of Quentin Travers, but not from him. Though he had told her several times how proud she had made him, he never clarified his true feelings for her, deeming it inappropriate. He chuckled to himself at the ridiculousness of it and without further preamble he spun on his heels and strode purposefully toward the door.

"Giles," Xander called, "where are you going?"

The Watcher stopped and glanced over his shoulder, his thin lips curved into a light smile. "I'm going to tell that young woman out there just how much I love her." He said nothing more and the jingle of the bell signaled his final departure from the store.

***Sorry for the wait. Well, we are starting to get into the meat of the action soon. The next three chapters deal with three distinct relationships.

Chapter 5--A Last Look…Seth talks to Dawn one more time.

Chapter 6--My Daughter, the Hero: I…Spike & Faith do some training and spend quality time together.

Chapter 7--My Daughter, the Hero: II…Giles & Buffy spend a father/daughter moment together. Plus, Giles shows that he knows more about Faith then he's telling…

***Chapter Five will be up by Tuesday, September 3rd.

***Hit me with the reviews to keep me pumping this out faster…