Luka was by no means certain that he wanted to find that Abby had responded to his request to talk to her. His head hurt and he had twice found himself asleep on his feet in the course of what had been, thankfully, a quiet morning. He could have lived without the seven year old who had tried to bite him and without the young man with the twisted ankle who had hit on him repeatedly until he had begged Chen to take over. All he really wanted was to get to the end of his shift and reclaim the sleep of which he had been robbed the previous night. And he hoped fervently that Abby didn't remember all of last night.

But, there she was, looking very small, wreathed in cigarette smoke. She'd ordered him coffee already he saw, and he slid into the seat opposite her. Awkward didn't begin to describe the silence between them. Finally he took a deep breath and broke it.

"How are you feeling?"

"Just peachy" she cracked, but then thought better of her sarcasm and said "Better than I should, considering." Luka nodded; waited.

"I'm sorry. About last night. I didn't set out to cause you problems."

"This isn't about me" he said, waving a hand dismissively. She found herself fascinated by his hands.

"Well, showing up last night - I shouldn't have." She laughed a little. "I don't know why I did, really."

"Don't you?"

"What?"

"Know why you did it?" His voice was very low and his eyes on her unwavering. Oh, God, where was this going. He surely wasn't going to bring up what she'd said. She didn't answer.

"There's a question I want to ask you." he said. "I should have asked you sooner, but I didn't know how."

"What? What is it?"

"When would - " he stopped. Tried again "Would you ever have told me?" His eyes were downcast and she realised now how much she had always read in them.

"Told you what?" She already knew what was coming.

"About your drinking."

Abby closed her eyes. "Luka -"

"Because I don't think you could have done anything more - " he paused here, searching for the right word. His accent had thickened as it always did at moments of stress or emotion. " - calculated to keep me at a distance. But maybe that was the whole point." His voice was so quiet that Abby had to lean in towards him to catch his words. He looked up then, capturing her gaze and she was shocked at the pain she saw in his eyes. Her turn to look away.

"No."

"No?"

"I don't know how to - to explain myself."

"I think you should try". There was a slight edge to his voice now. Abby took a deep breath. "Because if you didn't know there was a part of my life where it wasn't true."

"You didn't think that maybe I ought to know? Did you consider my feelings at all?" She hung her head.

"No."

"You told Carter."

"No. No, not really. He saw me at a meeting is all. Busted." She tried to laugh.

"I see."

A gust of temper shook her. "You see? What do you see?"

"Why you were . drawn to him."

Abby sighed. If he'd been angry she would have felt better.

"You and me, we were never much on talking, were we?" she ventured. Luka raised his eyebrows. "I mean, our timing was off. Really off."

"Timing?"

"Yeah. You couldn't talk at the beginning because of . well, everything. And when you could . " Her words trailed off.

"It was too late." He continued for her.

"I think I knew how much pain you were in. I did, I did know. But I was used to that. My mother got me real used to that, it was meat and drink to me. And I learned you don't mess with it. You leave well alone. And then later . I'm not used to being helped, Luka. I don't know how to do that stuff, I never did."

"Carter helped you; helps you now" Abby gave a little laugh. "Doesn't he?" She looked him in the eye then, her chin raised a little defiantly. But she didn't answer. "The thing is, Abby, I'm not going to do this."

"Do what?"

"Be a stick for you to beat Carter with. Or yourself with come to that."

"What?"

"You know very well what you said to me last night." Dear God. "So, next time you decide to drink - or do anything else - to spite him just leave me out of it." Abby stared open mouthed at him. "It's not good for me and God knows it's not good for you either."

"Oh! So this is about what's good for me?"

"It always was"

"Ha! Tough love."

She had been struggling with the wrapping on a fresh pack of cigarettes and almost wept with frustration when her lighter refused to spark. Luka watched her impassively for a moment and then sighed and reached across to take the cigarette and lighter from her. "Hey!" she protested. But Luka put the cigarette between his own lips. She hated him with a passion when the lighter worked first time for him. He took the drag and handed the cigarette back to her, exhaling. Abby was so astonished that she laughed aloud.

"You don't - "

"I used to ." he said dismissively. "Well, I guess that's your problem."

"What?"

"Love." The word dropped between them like a stone. Abby couldn't speak. Luka suddenly felt tired unto death. "So drink" he said, wearily "or don't drink, that's your call. But you know what?" he tweaked the cigarette from her fingers and inhaled. "I'll love you anyway. Because that's not your call." He stood up and returned the cigarette to her. "That's mine."