Family Ties II

Chapter 16

One Last Breath

It would have been so easy to sleep, Spike thought as he stared unblinkingly at the woman lying in his arms. He didn't know how much time had passed since he had thrown Faith the knife—a gesture he had done without thinking--but he had been aware of the overpowering wave of--what was it? Content? -- That spread across his skin and into his mind. It whispered to him, 'close your eyes; rest', but he fought the urge; he refused to leave his lover, his Love, alone o die while he slept.

"You're not gonna die, luv," he heard himself say hollowly. Spike caressed Buffy's cheek while his other arm held her up, unsure of how to handle the wood that impaled her. He wanted to pull it out of her but knew that would only make things worse. So I just sit here like a stupid git and let her die of shock? He ranted inwardly. The truth of the matter was that he didn't know what to do. So, in the end, he resigned himself to whispering love and encouragement to her despite the expanding ache in his gut telling him it all was hopeless.

***

The muffled sobs finally broke through Faith's peaceful high and the slayer opened her eyes. The Bronze was still somewhat dark though some of the darkness seemed to have abated. She shook the grogginess from her mind and tried to stand, only to fall down as her damaged leg reasserted itself.

She gasped at the acute pain, thankful that it was nowhere near as painful as it had been when it had been received. She sat up but refused to look at her leg; there were more important things to do, starting with figuring out where the crying was coming from.

That didn't take long as she turned to her right and saw the huddled form of Dawn (or Emerald) naked and curled up into a fetal position, her long black hair shielding her face.

"Dawn?" Faith asked, scooting towards the young girl. "Dawnie, is that you?" Faith reached out with a tentative hand and patted the sobbing girl on the shoulder. She almost screamed in surprise and pain when Dawn hurled herself into Faith's arms. The throb of her leg was temporarily forgotten as she enveloped the teen in a soothing hug as her hands stroked the raven hair that flowed down Dawn's back.

"I'm sorry," the teen choked out, "I'm so sorry." Her arms tightened uncomfortably around Faith's neck but the slayer didn't complain.

"Sorry about what, sweetie?"

"What…what I let him do to you," she cried and Faith couldn't help but wince at the reminder of her time with Seth. But as much as it hurt, the pain wasn't close to as bad as it used to be and, in seconds, it became bearable and she couldn't help but wonder if it was due to the young girl that cried into her arms.

"It's okay, baby," Faith cooed in Dawn's ear, "it's okay. He'll never hurt me again."

"Yeah," Dawn said after a long moment of silence, "never again." Faith couldn't help but shed a tear at the sadness in Dawn's voice despite the central figure in that sadness. Yes, Seth had been an evil bastard that had tormented Faith and countless others but he had loved this young woman in her arms. Faith refused to be bogged down with superfluous thoughts and instead relegated herself to comforting Dawn even as she spotted her parents across the room.

Please be okay Mum, she thought to herself and her tears mingled with those of her aunt's.

***

Willow forced the weariness back as she pushed herself up from a still weeping Giles. To say she was rattled that the usually in control Watcher was an understatement. Her own reserves were scarcely together as her eyes traveled across the room and she ached at the sight of the prostrate Bronzers that had been unable to escape. They lay across the floor, their bodies looking lifeless except for…except…

"Giles!" She breathed and was thankful that the Watcher took notice. "These people…they aren't dead, are they?" she asked hesitantly.

Giles peered around the room, squinting to catch something, anything, from the Bronzers. Though it was barely noticeable, he did catch the haggard breathing of some people that had been closest to them. They were alive though their uneven breathing looked strikingly similar to Tara.

"Tara," he said at the thought of the Wicca and his eyes widened.

At the mention of her lover's name, Willow frantically searched the bodies until she noticed the huddled mass slumped against the wall not ten feet from her.

"Tara!" She exclaimed and crawled over to the unconscious Wicca. Tears spilled from Willow's eyes as she saw the bloodstained wall and the back of Tara's head. She reached out to touch the sandy blonde hair that was matted with blood but recoiled as their spiritual bond reaffirmed itself. Her insides churned as the pain that Tara would feel upon waking settled into her mind and, without examining any further, Willow knew how badly her lover was injured.

"Giles," she called over her shoulder, afraid to take her eyes off of Tara, "she's hurt really bad. We need to get her to a doctor." Willow frowned when Giles didn't respond and angrily whirled around and stalked over to the downed Englishman.

"Didn't you hear me?" She half screamed as she roughly grabbed him by the shoulder. "Giles, I said that Tara's…" But her next words caught in her throat as she caught sight of what had grasped the Watcher's attention.

"Buffy," she whispered and new tears raged down her cheeks at the sickening sight of her best friend impaled through the chest and back.

***

"Spike…" Buffy whispered as her eyes fluttered open. She smiled weakly and focused on the watery blue eyes of her lover, of the man she loved.

"Don't try to talk, pet," he responded hoarsely. "Save your strength."

"What…what happened?" She asked, ignoring his warning. She winced with each breath and she knew something was wrong. The last thing she remembered was jumping into Spike's arms though the reason for that, especially considering the battle that had been on hand, remained unknown to her.

"You got hurt," he choked out and she saw that he was barely holding it together.

"It's bad, isn't it," she said without question.

Not trusting his voice, Spike nodded. It was worse than bad. Not to say that he hadn't seen worse, but not on a human--not on her.

"I feel like I've been staked," she said and risked a glance at where the pain was coming from. Her eyes widened when she saw the wood protruding from her chest. "Well, whatta ya know," she quipped, "I have been staked." She turned mirthful hazel eyes back to Spike and tried to alleviate the tension etched into his face. "Of course, whoever did this missed the heart by about a mile." She started to chuckle but was caught in a spasm of coughs and Buffy knew blood spilled from her lips. She didn't give into that particular fear as the pain and difficulty breathing required all her concentration.

"Spike…" She began before he cut her off.

"Why?" He spat and she cringed at the anger and bitterness in his tone.

"Why what?" She asked, confused by the change in his eyes that were now flecked with gold.

"Why did you do it? Save me? Why, Buffy?" She would have gotten mad per her usual but the sheer desperation in his eyes cut into her more than any weapon ever could.

"Spike…"

"Why Buffy? Do you want to die again? Do you want me to watch you die again?" Buffy couldn't help but cry at Spike's desperation and she saw him crumble further at her tears. "Buffy, why?" He whispered and fought to keep himself still. "I'm not worth your blood," he added and, for the first time, averted his eyes.

Buffy fought off the pain and touched his cheek with her palm. She forced his chin up to look into her eyes and forced all the love she felt for him bleed into her gaze.

"Don't ever say that," she told him sternly, "don't you ever say that you aren't worth it. You are worth sacrificing every drop of blood in my body for. Do you understand me?"

"Buffy, I…"

"Do you understand me?" He nodded, as her tone brokered no argument. Her eyes softened when he acquiesced and she continued. "Spike…William," she amended, "I love you with all that I am. The Slayer in me loves you as does the woman; just like I love William the man, and Spike the demon," she explained. The words were taking their toll and it was getting increasingly difficult to breath much less speak but she knew he needed to understand--to be strong when she left.

"I didn't know until earlier today how much I loved you. You are everything to me, everything that I want. Everything that I need. And I want you to understand that this is something I've known for sometime now, but I was just too scared to admit it. Too scared to confront what I truly was…" Another fit of coughs echoed from her chest and she whimpered as the pain tripled. The call of darkness was strong and she knew the light and warmth of heaven awaited her across that barrier.

As her body rippled with pain, she smiled inside at the irony of it all. Not too long ago she would have welcomed death, welcomed the call back to heaven. But now, that was the last thing that she wanted. She had found a daughter, a daughter she would have never imagined having and a man that would love her through everything. Even at her worst, he would still love her unconditionally and she would only become a better and stronger person because of it. No, dying was the last thing she wanted.

But as she took another painful breath, she knew that she couldn't stop the inevitable. Still, that wouldn't stop her from loving him with everything she had within her up until her very last breath.

Even if that did happen to be today.

***

Faith and Dawn finally managed to get to their feet. As Faith wrapped the leather duster around her, Dawn felt memories of the last several minutes (or was it eons?) slowly dissipate. They were still there but as she came more to her senses, it was as if a shroud was being placed over that particular part of her. She tried to fight it but she was too exhausted. She laid her head on Faith's shoulder, relaxing in the woman's comforting embrace.

Keeping all of her weight off her injured leg, Faith held onto Dawn while simultaneously leaning on the teen. She doubted that Dawn even knew it but Faith could sense the new strength, both physical and metaphysical, that coursed through the teen. She smiled weakly into Dawn's hair before taking a deep breath.

"Well, as much as I love the embrace, kiddo, there are others that need our help." Faith dodged Dawn's head as it shot up and lost her balance. The Key grabbed her around the waist effortlessly, preventing Faith from falling to the ground.

"Sorry," Dawn said meekly. Faith smiled tiredly, waving it off. That's when Dawn noticed the lack of covering for her future niece. "Your shirt…" she nodded at Faith's bare chest.

"Yeah, well, it kinda got destroyed." She shrugged. "Hazards of the job."

"But you are okay," the teen demanded.

"Yeah," and her voice cracked.

"But what?" Dawn grasped her shoulders and Faith winced as the teen squeezed, unaware of her new strength.

Faith said nothing but cocked her head to the side. Dawn followed her gaze and gasped when she saw her sister in Spike's lap.

"Buffy…" Dawn sobbed and covered her mouth with a trembling hand. She stared in disbelief at her sister's battered form and only the recognition that she was holding Faith up kept the teen from bolting to Buffy's side.

"She'll be okay," Faith encouraged though she didn't feel the confidence of her words. "Daddy's with her." She forced Dawn to look at her. "But the others…we have to see if they're okay." Dawn nodded mutely, understanding what Faith was saying. Spike would protect her sister better than any of them ever could.

Faith saw the resignation in Dawn's eyes and the slayer smiled lightly before turning her attention elsewhere. She scoured the Bronze, noticing the piles of bodies'…bodies that looked to be breathing? She shook the realization from her head and continued to search for the others. She saw Xander cradling Anya at the far end of the club; the sadness in his eyes screamed at her what was wrong. Fear gripped Faith and she frantically searched for Giles and the others and saw them huddled in the corner. They were closer than Xander and it would be much easier to hobble over to them then navigate through the bodies between Xander and his fiancée.

"Let's go," she told Dawn after explaining to the teen her logic. Faith slung her arm over Dawn's shoulder and the latter snaked her arm around the slayer's waist. Faith didn't use much energy as Dawn halfway carried her over to the two witches and watcher, though she was ignorant of the ease at which she escorted the slayer.

"Giles," Faith said when they reached the three Scoobies. The Watcher immediately turned his gaze over to Faith and it only took him a moment to recognize the severe injury to the slayer's leg.

"My God, Faith," he said and tried to stand only to be reminded of his own leg. "Bloody hell," he spat when the motion jarred the wooden splinter lodged in his thigh.

"No need to get up, Giles," Faith smirked as Dawn lowered her to the ground. Her eyes turned serious again when she saw Willow staring at her. She looked down at Tara's bloodied head and swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking.

"How is she?"

"Not good," Willow replied, wiping a strand of red hair from her bloodshot eyes. She shook her head to clear her eyes lest another tearful onslaught begin. "How's Buffy?" She forced herself to ask Faith and the slayer lowered her head.

"I…I don't know. We haven't checked yet, but it didn't look too good."

"I…I better check on Xander and Anya," Dawn interrupted and the two others finally noticed that it was her.

"Dawnie?" Willow whispered. The teen nodded and smiled sadly. She chuckled when Giles removed his cracked glasses and rubbed them with his jacket.

"Yes, it's me," the teen said and gave them a genuine smile before sobering. "But we can talk about that later. I have to check on Xander." She brushed a kiss across both Giles and Willow's foreheads and whispered something into Tara's ear before running over to Xander and Anya.

Giles closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer that they still had Dawn before turning his eyes back to Faith. Upon seeing her condition, he offered her his jacket, which she gratefully accepted.

"Seth?" Giles asked after a few moments of silence.

"Gone."

"How?" Willow asked. "I thought he was…"

"Dawn. She did it. I don't know what she did or how, but she did."

***

The tears hadn't fallen as long as Xander would have expected. In fact, they had barely fallen once he realized that Anya was dead and not coming back. He had gone back to rocking her gently in his arms, never turning his gaze from her lifeless eyes. The numbness inside of him was beyond comprehension and he laughed to himself, thinking this must have been what being pulled out of heaven felt like. The deadness of this world pulled at his soul and Xander could feel nothing but apathy. Apathy and resentment, the latter for the person that had caused all of this, for the person who should have never have been here in the first place.

"Xander," a familiar voice sounded in his ear and the brunette felt a comforting hand on his, on the one that held Anya. Xander looked up and saw the sweet face of Dawn staring back at him, emerald tears shimmering in her obsidian eyes. Emotion threatened to resurface at Dawn's sympathetic eyes but the carpenter slammed the lid shut before they emerged.

"Hey, Dawnster," he said and plastered a wry grin on his face. Dawn saw through the bravado, grimacing at the pain radiating from him. "Guess we won, huh?" He commented after scanning the crowd, seeing no traces of Seth or Jennifer.

"Guess so," she said and risked a glance towards Buffy and Spike.

Xander didn't notice her drifting gaze and, instead, turned his eyes back towards his deceased lover. "So the wickedly cool Wiccas and G-man came through for you, huh. Must have happened before I rejoined the land of the wakeful."

"No," Dawn said, her teary eyes now locked on Anya's still form, "they didn't get a chance to…I don't know what happened," she absently fingered the cool silver locket around her neck, "but I think Faith had something to do with it."

Dawn didn't notice Xander's body tense or his eyes darken at the mention of Faith. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and he was taken by surprise at the love that radiated from Dawn.

"I'm sorry, Xander," she whispered in his ear. "I am so sorry." Her words and subsequent kiss on his cheek abated the anger in his heart for the moment and he responded by nodding into her hair.

All too quickly for him, she broke the embrace though her hands remained on his shoulders. "I…I have to get over to Buffy," she told him and fought to keep her voice steady.

Xander's eyes popped out at the mention of his best friend and he fired a look over the teen's shoulder. Though he was somewhat obscured by the way Spike was turned, he still recognized the foreign object protruding from the slayer's chest and it was all that he could not to burst into fresh sobs.

"Is she…?" He trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

"No. I don't know how I know, but no," she sighed and her eyes turned back towards her fallen sister. "Still, I don't know how much longer…I can feel her…slipping away." Dawn and Xander dropped their heads in misery, unwilling to face what the Key knew.

Buffy was dying.

***

"Spike," Buffy whispered.

"Yeah, pet?" the vampire answered, relief coating his voice. They had been silent for several minutes, both lost in their thoughts, fear robbing them of words. Though Spike knew that his lover was not dead, he could hear the steady fall of her pulse and he could do nothing but hold her, afraid to move. He sensed the Scoobies shuffling towards him and Buffy but his eyes never left his slayer.

"Remember…remember that time that I thought I killed that girl and you told me to go home?"

"Yeah, darling. What about it?" He cooed while his hand stroked her cooling cheek.

"I…I dreamed about you that night. Before I went to the police station."

"Always knew I was haunting your dreams, luv," he smiled wryly. His eyes lit up when Buffy smacked him on the shoulder but he quickly sobered at the grimace of pain that marred her features. "Buffy, don't…" he began but was interrupted.

"Yeah, whatever, Spikey." She closed her eyes and for a minute Spike was afraid that was the last thing he would ever hear from his slayer until she opened her eyes a few seconds later.

"I remember it like it was yesterday. I was so…so tired and the guilt was overpowering me. I remember you sliding in bed behind me. You kissed my shoulders and told me that everything would be all right. And you know what? I believed you because…"

"Because what?" he whispered after brushing a kiss across her brow.

"Because you've always made things right."

"Buffy…" Spike began but a sob caught in his throat. He had been so enraptured with her voice that he had ignored the steady decline in her pulse. It was almost non-existent now and he didn't know how she was still conscious.

"You…you have. I know I told you how--how much I've depended on you and how much I owe you--"

"You owe me nothing," he whimpered.

"I owe you everything. Without you…without you, Spike, I never would have made it back. My spirit was dead and you gave it life again." As Buffy spoke, her eyes glazed over and though she said nothing about it, Spike knew she couldn't see him anymore.

"Buffy I…"

"I don't wanna die, Spike," she said and tears poured from her sightless eyes. Spike bit into his lip to prevent from crying out and he ignored the blood that spurted from the cut.

"I don't wanna die," she repeated and Spike heard the last gasps in her voice. "I don't wanna leave you, Spike. Not after…not after knowing how much…"

"How much what?" Spike asked but there was no reply. "Buffy?" Spike repeated frantically and he shook her gently. The movement did nothing but cause her head loll to the side and Spike couldn't contain the harsh wail that escaped from his lips.

Spike lost all feeling of self as he held Buffy's limp body. His mind whirled as images of he and Buffy fought for supremacy in his fracturing mind. The first time he had spoken to her outside the Bronze and working as a team to stop Angelus months after their initial clash. Willow's love spell when he first held her in his arms. The kiss she gave him after Glory had beaten him. The naked pain of seeing her body to the unspeakable joy of watching her walk down those steps again, alive.

The sheer awe of their first coupling to their first true love making of the night before flashed through his mind until he was shoved back into the harsh realities of the present.

The primal scream that tore from his throat was heard for blocks and those that heard it felt their hearts constrict--not in fear, but in the knowledge that someone had lost a part of himself to some unspeakable tragedy. They would never know who it was or how but, for that night, they would hold their loved ones just a little tighter, understanding how precious little time they really had.

But Spike would never know. He would never know anything again as a life without her, without Buffy had been too much the first time around. How could he possibly face it a second time? So he would do the only thing he could think of; just as she had died in his arms, he would die in hers…

And he would have, were it not for the hands around his neck and arms that prevented him from joining her in a final embrace. The pain of the chip was forgotten as he struggled to no avail. Just as intent as he was on dying, the arms that wrapped around him were just as resolute in keeping him alive.

Finally, as grief clamped over his heart, Spike gave up the fight and held onto the nearest body. He wept openly as comforting arms held him tight. As he cried, he heard a familiar voice whisper into his ear that she would always be there for him, that she would never leave him. The soft reassurances only caused him to hold on tighter and he inhaled the distinctive scent that pressed against him.

Spike's last thought as he gave into the darkness before his eyes was what Buffy had said before she had died. She had told him she loved him and even as she lay their in his arms and he watched life seep from her veins, his heart had ached in sheer joy to hear her finally say it. But now, now that she was gone, that ache was now one of incomprehensible grief.

Hoarse and lifeless, he heard his voice drift into the oppressive silence of the Bronze.

"It should have been me…" he said and repeated the mantra until the haze expanded over his mind.

He never saw the tears fall from the eyes of the others though he did hear Faith's voice sound shakily in his ear, repeating the exact same words Buffy had spoken not one day ago.

"Don't leave me," she whispered. "Please, daddy, don't leave me." As Spike finally succumbed to the numbness of unconsciousness, he vowed, just as he had to Buffy, he would watch over their daughter until he was no more.

After all, that's what Buffy would have done.

***Well, that's the end. Thanks for reading….I'm kidding! There's still the epilogue, "Counting the Days…". It may answer some of the questions you have and may prevent me from being staked. It will also hint at what's going to happen in the coming sequel, Severed Ties, which will be starting in a few weeks. There will be new villains as well as old friends and enemies joining the fight. There will be even some romance and unexpected pairings as well. Good times (and bad) are ahead for the Scoobies—and everyone's favorite couple. 8-D