"Good locks" Luka commented as she let them into her apartment
"Yeah, well, I know this guy."
"Reliable?"
Abby was unprepared for how awkward she felt with him in the apartment; he seemed so big in her space, and, self-conscious, she dropped food, utensils, almost scalded herself running hot water. Getting the food from her plate to her mouth became a problem which assumed insurmountable proportions. She noticed that Luka had no such difficulties. She was aware that he was watching her quietly from the other side of the table. The hell with it she thought, and put down her knife and fork, her meal only half finished.
"What is it?" he asked quietly.
"I'm not very hungry." This was by now true. Adrenalin was making her faintly nauseous.
"I just don't think I'm used to . being here." She finished, lamely.
"Do you want me to go?"
"What? No, no of course not." This was only half true. She rather desperately wanted him to leave. And to stay.
"I don't want to crowd you, make you uncomfortable."
"You don't." This was an out and out lie.
"Perhaps you shouldn't try to do too much. I mean, you know what you can do of course, but ."
"I know." She fell silent again. Do you remember what you said to me?
"I have to get going anyway." His voice was very quiet. Abby nodded.
"I - thanks for this afternoon. Rosa was a treat."
"Isn't she just?" Luka was smiling now, and Abby felt a little more comfortable. "You should see her when she lets her hair down with the others. It's terrifying."
"I'd like that."
"You would?" He seemed surprised. "Well, perhaps later . there's a lot of heavy duty drinking involved -"
"I see."
" - but it's the dancing I'd worry about. That kind of stress you don't need just now, I think. you might like to give it a while."
"Ballroom dancing?"
"God, no. Folk dancing. Clapping, stamping, shouting. Very strenuous, very noisy."
"Rosa does that?"
"No, she sits on the sidelines and eggs the younger ones on. And makes matches."
"Do you dance?" Her curiosity was piqued.
"Not if I can help it, " he laughed, "but sometimes I have to escape the generality of granddaughters by dancing with one or other of them. I've had nightmares about it." It occurred to Abby then that a subtle change had taken place in Luka. She had witnessed some of his dreams; he would not then have joked about nightmares as he did now. She wanted very much to ask him to tell her fully what had happened to Danijella and the children, and then felt curiously ashamed of her desire.
"I'm going to be late, I should go."
"Sure."
"Thank you for dinner - it was good of you when you have so much to - deal with."
"Yeah, well, I'm lulling you into a false sense of security until I can get you back for the lamb gruel."
"You know how to bear a grudge, don't you?."
"No, but my stomach does. Oh, here, take this." She put the pastry Rosa had given her into his pocket. You might need it around midnight."
Luka nodded and went on his way. A few steps along the hall he turned back and, stooping swiftly, one hand laid on her shoulder, kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Welcome back."
Once outside in the damp November air Luka leaned against the front door of the building and took a couple of deep breaths. He had felt the tension in her. She'd been fine when they were with Rosa, but it seemed to him that the normal, everyday transactions with people told on her quickly, and he didn't want her to overreach herself, scolded himself for accepting her invitation to dinner. She had seemed genuinely to want his company though and the evening had ended well enough. Perhaps he could do this, be her friend. It was after all what she needed. The afternoon had seemed almost surreal. He hadn't expected her and knew that he couldn't let Rosa down; nor could he turn Abby away. Three months. Three months. He was a little ashamed to admit that he'd forgotten what her voice sounded like. She seemed well. Jesus, what did he know about it? He hoped she'd be able to talk to him; didn't feel able to offer. Truth be told he was scared to death. He wondered if she remembered what he'd said to her. He didn't think so; hoped not. IDIOT, he cursed himself.
Abby leaned against the door when he'd gone. He must think she was a fool. She felt she'd done so well when they were with Rosa, but just talking to him, being with him had been torture. She shouldn't have invited him in. She hoped she'd be able to talk to him, but didn't like to ask. Did he remember? She thought probably not. In a way she hoped not. IDIOT, she cursed herself. And she still had Carter to face yet. One step at a time, Abby, one step at a time.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" "Carter."
"Hi. You're early."
"A few minutes. What do we have on the board?" As he listened to Carter's handover he was taken by a growing sense of unease. Should he tell him he'd seen Abby?
"You seen Abby?"
"What?"
"Has she called or anything?" Damn.
"Yes."
Carter waited.
"She called by. I - I took some provisions round and left them with a neighbour. She seemed to think I needed paying immediately." And then we spent the afternoon together and then she cooked me dinner.
"How did she seem?"
"She was OK. I think she knows what she's doing."
"Did she . did she mention me?"
"Not directly." Damn again.
"You mean not at all."
"She'll call you when she'd ready, Carter."
Luka was certain that when Carter had told him "I still don't like you" he had been speaking the truth. Still, he had settled into a more congenial relationship with Luka, had conceded a number of points of procedure to him, which had thrown Luka into a spin at first, and seemed generally ready to work with and learn from him. What Luka didn't know and couldn't guess, was that Carter had felt as though a monumental weight had been lifted from his shoulders after he had spoken to Luka. Kovac's unlooked for kindness had raised his spirits for days and he had resolved, in much the same way that children resolve to keep their bedrooms tidy, to like his colleague. It came and went and he was surprised to find himself liking Luka without trying for seconds at a time.
He was dreading seeing Abby. There was a great deal they had to say to each other. They hadn't spoken properly before she'd left for rehab, and the whole issue of their relationship hung in the air. He needed to see her but knew that he had to wait for her to come to him.
"It - it'll be fine, you know." Kovac was speaking to him.
"The MI or the wrist fracture?" Kovac didn't laugh. "I know. I feel like I'm waiting to see the dentist is all."
"Just remember to be kind to each other."
"I don't need - " He bit back the words. "Sure. I'm gone."
"Yeah, well, I know this guy."
"Reliable?"
Abby was unprepared for how awkward she felt with him in the apartment; he seemed so big in her space, and, self-conscious, she dropped food, utensils, almost scalded herself running hot water. Getting the food from her plate to her mouth became a problem which assumed insurmountable proportions. She noticed that Luka had no such difficulties. She was aware that he was watching her quietly from the other side of the table. The hell with it she thought, and put down her knife and fork, her meal only half finished.
"What is it?" he asked quietly.
"I'm not very hungry." This was by now true. Adrenalin was making her faintly nauseous.
"I just don't think I'm used to . being here." She finished, lamely.
"Do you want me to go?"
"What? No, no of course not." This was only half true. She rather desperately wanted him to leave. And to stay.
"I don't want to crowd you, make you uncomfortable."
"You don't." This was an out and out lie.
"Perhaps you shouldn't try to do too much. I mean, you know what you can do of course, but ."
"I know." She fell silent again. Do you remember what you said to me?
"I have to get going anyway." His voice was very quiet. Abby nodded.
"I - thanks for this afternoon. Rosa was a treat."
"Isn't she just?" Luka was smiling now, and Abby felt a little more comfortable. "You should see her when she lets her hair down with the others. It's terrifying."
"I'd like that."
"You would?" He seemed surprised. "Well, perhaps later . there's a lot of heavy duty drinking involved -"
"I see."
" - but it's the dancing I'd worry about. That kind of stress you don't need just now, I think. you might like to give it a while."
"Ballroom dancing?"
"God, no. Folk dancing. Clapping, stamping, shouting. Very strenuous, very noisy."
"Rosa does that?"
"No, she sits on the sidelines and eggs the younger ones on. And makes matches."
"Do you dance?" Her curiosity was piqued.
"Not if I can help it, " he laughed, "but sometimes I have to escape the generality of granddaughters by dancing with one or other of them. I've had nightmares about it." It occurred to Abby then that a subtle change had taken place in Luka. She had witnessed some of his dreams; he would not then have joked about nightmares as he did now. She wanted very much to ask him to tell her fully what had happened to Danijella and the children, and then felt curiously ashamed of her desire.
"I'm going to be late, I should go."
"Sure."
"Thank you for dinner - it was good of you when you have so much to - deal with."
"Yeah, well, I'm lulling you into a false sense of security until I can get you back for the lamb gruel."
"You know how to bear a grudge, don't you?."
"No, but my stomach does. Oh, here, take this." She put the pastry Rosa had given her into his pocket. You might need it around midnight."
Luka nodded and went on his way. A few steps along the hall he turned back and, stooping swiftly, one hand laid on her shoulder, kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Welcome back."
Once outside in the damp November air Luka leaned against the front door of the building and took a couple of deep breaths. He had felt the tension in her. She'd been fine when they were with Rosa, but it seemed to him that the normal, everyday transactions with people told on her quickly, and he didn't want her to overreach herself, scolded himself for accepting her invitation to dinner. She had seemed genuinely to want his company though and the evening had ended well enough. Perhaps he could do this, be her friend. It was after all what she needed. The afternoon had seemed almost surreal. He hadn't expected her and knew that he couldn't let Rosa down; nor could he turn Abby away. Three months. Three months. He was a little ashamed to admit that he'd forgotten what her voice sounded like. She seemed well. Jesus, what did he know about it? He hoped she'd be able to talk to him; didn't feel able to offer. Truth be told he was scared to death. He wondered if she remembered what he'd said to her. He didn't think so; hoped not. IDIOT, he cursed himself.
Abby leaned against the door when he'd gone. He must think she was a fool. She felt she'd done so well when they were with Rosa, but just talking to him, being with him had been torture. She shouldn't have invited him in. She hoped she'd be able to talk to him, but didn't like to ask. Did he remember? She thought probably not. In a way she hoped not. IDIOT, she cursed herself. And she still had Carter to face yet. One step at a time, Abby, one step at a time.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" "Carter."
"Hi. You're early."
"A few minutes. What do we have on the board?" As he listened to Carter's handover he was taken by a growing sense of unease. Should he tell him he'd seen Abby?
"You seen Abby?"
"What?"
"Has she called or anything?" Damn.
"Yes."
Carter waited.
"She called by. I - I took some provisions round and left them with a neighbour. She seemed to think I needed paying immediately." And then we spent the afternoon together and then she cooked me dinner.
"How did she seem?"
"She was OK. I think she knows what she's doing."
"Did she . did she mention me?"
"Not directly." Damn again.
"You mean not at all."
"She'll call you when she'd ready, Carter."
Luka was certain that when Carter had told him "I still don't like you" he had been speaking the truth. Still, he had settled into a more congenial relationship with Luka, had conceded a number of points of procedure to him, which had thrown Luka into a spin at first, and seemed generally ready to work with and learn from him. What Luka didn't know and couldn't guess, was that Carter had felt as though a monumental weight had been lifted from his shoulders after he had spoken to Luka. Kovac's unlooked for kindness had raised his spirits for days and he had resolved, in much the same way that children resolve to keep their bedrooms tidy, to like his colleague. It came and went and he was surprised to find himself liking Luka without trying for seconds at a time.
He was dreading seeing Abby. There was a great deal they had to say to each other. They hadn't spoken properly before she'd left for rehab, and the whole issue of their relationship hung in the air. He needed to see her but knew that he had to wait for her to come to him.
"It - it'll be fine, you know." Kovac was speaking to him.
"The MI or the wrist fracture?" Kovac didn't laugh. "I know. I feel like I'm waiting to see the dentist is all."
"Just remember to be kind to each other."
"I don't need - " He bit back the words. "Sure. I'm gone."