Chapter 15
Sara walked through the CSI building. Dr. Felton's office was the next
building over, but making a shortcut through her workplace was the quickest
way to get to it. She walked quickly, at first she was thinking about the
meeting that was about to take place, but her thoughts wandered to Grissom.
She was so happy, that even though she knew she was in danger, she had
never felt happier. Last night, he had just held her until she fell asleep,
and she woke up with his arms still around her. It was the most comforting
instant of her life. She didn't want to move, but she did have an
appointment. Grissom had offered to walk her to Dr. Felton's office but she
had told him that everything was fine. He insisted that he drive her, she
didn't have any complaints. They spent most of the trip staring at each
other, although when they were about a block away from CSI, Grissom almost
had an accident while taking in Sara's beauty, so there was a mutual
decision to try and keep eyes on the road. Grissom had dropped her off and
headed home. He'd probably be home in a few minutes. I wonder what he's
going to do for the 11 hrs before shift starts.
Sara had reached the building adjacent to CSI, she went up the stairs and found the door that she had been through for her yearly psych evaluations. On the door, 'Dr. S. Felton' was written in gold embossed letters. She gently knocked on the door and then pushed it open. Dr. Felton was younger than most people would expect, he wasn't that much older than Sara. His light brown hair sat gently on his smiling face as he greeted her.
'Sara Sidle.'
'Hi, I'm not too early am I .'
'You're right on time, as usual.'
'Did Nick tell you what this was about?'
'Only the bare minimum, that you were being stalked and that it was somehow linked to a prior abusive relationship.'
'Actually, I don't think that it is linked. I think that.I'm sorry do you mind if I sit down.'
'Of course not, make yourself comfortable.' Sara sat on a well worn brown leather seat. Dr. Felton chose to sit across a small coffee table on a black chair.
'As I was saying, I think that the stalker was just trying to show me that he knew more about me than anyone else, I don't think the stalker is Justin.'
'Your ex-boyfriend?'
'Yes.'
'Does it scare you?'
'Pardon.'
'That this man knows more about you than anyone else.'
'It did at first, but then I realized that there are others who know more about me than he ever will.' At this remark, Dr. Felton sat up straighter.
'Are you referring to a certain someone?'
'Well, yes.'
'I see. Sara, why don't you tell me about Justin. You've always struck me as a strong woman, why did you stay.'
'I don't know.'
'Tell me about the start of your relationship. Take me through it and then we'll get to the end.'
'We met when I was looking for a job. I had worked in Boston and the San Francisco Coroner's office but I really wanted to be a CSI. I met Justin in the hallway as I was going for my interview. He was really nice, I mean I was a complete stranger and he put in a good word for me. So much for people just being nice, decent human beings huh? I got the job, and I felt like I owed it to him. I thanked him and then I found out he was a CSI, we worked my first case together. It was a child abuse case. It got to me, he comforted me. He was really nice. We had been working together for about a month and we were best friends. He told me than his brother, Craig, was involved in a gang. We tried to help him but he didn't want help. Eventually we gave up. We went out for some drinks and we both admitted we had feelings for each other. We blurted it out at practically the same moment.' Sara couldn't help but smile at the memory. 'We dated for 4 months and then I moved in with him. I sold my apartment and I spent every free moment with him. I hardly saw my friends or my family. I didn't even realize it. I was so happy. I fell in love with him, or I thought it was love.' Sara knew now that the only real love she had ever felt was for Grissom. 'I guess I loved Justin because he was so unlike everyone else in my life. My friends and family were always telling me to slow down. Even when I was growing up, my parents never really cared about me. I could bring home straight A's on a report card and they'd say 'Go make the beds in room 3'. Justin was the first person who was constantly in my life who encouraged me and supported me. Looking back I can see the way he cut me off from my family and work was a form of abuse, but he had never been violent. We had never even had a fight. But when we did, it was big. To be honest, I don't even remember what the fight was about. It probably started because I couldn't find the guy who had murdered Justin's brother, Craig. I just remember him slapping me across the face. I was so shocked, he looked shocked too. I grabbed my bag and left. But the next day at work we were assigned to the same case and he apologized, told me that I had gotten so worked up that I was scaring him and he slapped me to try and get me to snap out of it. I believed him. That was one of the problems, I could never bring myself to admit that a man who I felt was so much like myself, a man who I had fallen so deeply in love with, could do that to me unless I had done something to cause it. Then there was always the excuse that he had just lost his younger brother, and that I had to give him some leeway. I know now that psychologically he had affected me. I guess on some level I genuinely thought I deserved it because I had failed to find the murderer. That's a problem because of my tendency to hold myself to higher standards.'
There was a moment of silence where Sara didn't know hat to say. She had never said that out loud before, she had never even thought it through properly. Then she realized she hadn't even looked at the doctor while saying this. She lifted her eyes off the floor to the table, then to his hands. Sara couldn't help but noticed that they were flaking slightly. There were some tiny pieces of skin on the table where his hands had been. That's when all the pieces of this twisted puzzle fell together right in front of her. She thought she knew who her stalker was, but the question still remained, why was he doing it, and was she right about her suspicions?
Dr. Felton interrupted her thoughts. 'Sara, is there anything else?'
Sara had reached the building adjacent to CSI, she went up the stairs and found the door that she had been through for her yearly psych evaluations. On the door, 'Dr. S. Felton' was written in gold embossed letters. She gently knocked on the door and then pushed it open. Dr. Felton was younger than most people would expect, he wasn't that much older than Sara. His light brown hair sat gently on his smiling face as he greeted her.
'Sara Sidle.'
'Hi, I'm not too early am I .'
'You're right on time, as usual.'
'Did Nick tell you what this was about?'
'Only the bare minimum, that you were being stalked and that it was somehow linked to a prior abusive relationship.'
'Actually, I don't think that it is linked. I think that.I'm sorry do you mind if I sit down.'
'Of course not, make yourself comfortable.' Sara sat on a well worn brown leather seat. Dr. Felton chose to sit across a small coffee table on a black chair.
'As I was saying, I think that the stalker was just trying to show me that he knew more about me than anyone else, I don't think the stalker is Justin.'
'Your ex-boyfriend?'
'Yes.'
'Does it scare you?'
'Pardon.'
'That this man knows more about you than anyone else.'
'It did at first, but then I realized that there are others who know more about me than he ever will.' At this remark, Dr. Felton sat up straighter.
'Are you referring to a certain someone?'
'Well, yes.'
'I see. Sara, why don't you tell me about Justin. You've always struck me as a strong woman, why did you stay.'
'I don't know.'
'Tell me about the start of your relationship. Take me through it and then we'll get to the end.'
'We met when I was looking for a job. I had worked in Boston and the San Francisco Coroner's office but I really wanted to be a CSI. I met Justin in the hallway as I was going for my interview. He was really nice, I mean I was a complete stranger and he put in a good word for me. So much for people just being nice, decent human beings huh? I got the job, and I felt like I owed it to him. I thanked him and then I found out he was a CSI, we worked my first case together. It was a child abuse case. It got to me, he comforted me. He was really nice. We had been working together for about a month and we were best friends. He told me than his brother, Craig, was involved in a gang. We tried to help him but he didn't want help. Eventually we gave up. We went out for some drinks and we both admitted we had feelings for each other. We blurted it out at practically the same moment.' Sara couldn't help but smile at the memory. 'We dated for 4 months and then I moved in with him. I sold my apartment and I spent every free moment with him. I hardly saw my friends or my family. I didn't even realize it. I was so happy. I fell in love with him, or I thought it was love.' Sara knew now that the only real love she had ever felt was for Grissom. 'I guess I loved Justin because he was so unlike everyone else in my life. My friends and family were always telling me to slow down. Even when I was growing up, my parents never really cared about me. I could bring home straight A's on a report card and they'd say 'Go make the beds in room 3'. Justin was the first person who was constantly in my life who encouraged me and supported me. Looking back I can see the way he cut me off from my family and work was a form of abuse, but he had never been violent. We had never even had a fight. But when we did, it was big. To be honest, I don't even remember what the fight was about. It probably started because I couldn't find the guy who had murdered Justin's brother, Craig. I just remember him slapping me across the face. I was so shocked, he looked shocked too. I grabbed my bag and left. But the next day at work we were assigned to the same case and he apologized, told me that I had gotten so worked up that I was scaring him and he slapped me to try and get me to snap out of it. I believed him. That was one of the problems, I could never bring myself to admit that a man who I felt was so much like myself, a man who I had fallen so deeply in love with, could do that to me unless I had done something to cause it. Then there was always the excuse that he had just lost his younger brother, and that I had to give him some leeway. I know now that psychologically he had affected me. I guess on some level I genuinely thought I deserved it because I had failed to find the murderer. That's a problem because of my tendency to hold myself to higher standards.'
There was a moment of silence where Sara didn't know hat to say. She had never said that out loud before, she had never even thought it through properly. Then she realized she hadn't even looked at the doctor while saying this. She lifted her eyes off the floor to the table, then to his hands. Sara couldn't help but noticed that they were flaking slightly. There were some tiny pieces of skin on the table where his hands had been. That's when all the pieces of this twisted puzzle fell together right in front of her. She thought she knew who her stalker was, but the question still remained, why was he doing it, and was she right about her suspicions?
Dr. Felton interrupted her thoughts. 'Sara, is there anything else?'