Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the
screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash.
Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture
where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed
by the subtitle, "The Last Temptation of Iori:Over the Edge."
We enter in the apartment. Yashiro and Shermie are sitting on the couch
watching 'Shaft III: Shaft vs. Rocky, Eat This Balboa!' on the TV set.
Chris is sitting at a table reading a novel, 'The Politics of Dancing
and You', a masterpiece if I must say.
Yashiro (takes a drink of beer)-"Hoo-ha! Don't mess with Shaft or he'll
bitch slap you into next Thursday!" (laugh track)
Goenitz enters. (clapping and cheering)-"Ah, Chris there you are! You
start school tomorrow."
Chris (is shocked)-"WHAT?! School? I can't go to school....."
Goenitz-"Sorry Chris, but with my new, fancy big city job, I can't
teach you anymore. I have to power lunch at eleven today."
Chris-"Whaddya mean fancy, big city job. All you do is pretend to be
hit by cars then sue the drivers for all they got. That isn't a fancy,
big city job. I call that 'Idiot Citizenship'. And you aren't going to
power lunch at eleven, you're going to scarf a bunch of fried chicken
and down some peppermint Schnapps, then fall asleep on the couch."
Goenitz-"And why DON'T you want to go to school? You can get yourself
into all sorts of crazy shenanigens! Now c'mon. We gotta get you some
school stuff. Oh, Shermie, Yashiro. While we're gone, pick up some
dinner at Iori's. Maybe see something cool."
Shermie-"We will, when Shaft bitch slaps Rocky again- Okay, there he
goes. C'mon Yashiro."
They leave. We fade in at a store of sorts. Goenitz and Chris are
looking for stuff.
Chris (holding up the round, black, thick rimmed glasses with no
lenses.)-"Okay, tell me AGAIN why I have to wear these." (laugh track)
Goenitz-"How can you learn unless you wear them? They make you look
int_a_melectual or something." (laugh track)
Chris (throws a notebook in the basket)-"Hey Goenitz, did you ever
go to school when you were a kid?"
Goenitz- "Ummmm.....Not that I can recollect." fade out
The Potato in Chainmail, Iori, K', Maxima, Remy and Hugo are
decked out in army fatigues and are readying for war. Iori is
filling boot flasks with gin, and Hugo is polishing his sledgehammer, Remy is practicing his knife throwing on a picture of Brian
Battler on the wall of the bar.
Remy-"We have a box of 20 bullets, and a box of 3 bullets. That also
has a picture in it of.....(squints at picture) Iori stepping on a
rather bloody Kyo." (laugh track)
Iori-"What other provisions do we have?"
Hugo-"We have knives."
K'-"Unfortunately, we have 23 bullets but no guns."
Iori (points to stack of crates labeled 'guns')-"What are those then?"
Maxima-"They appear to be the missing prop guns from the Rambo set."
(laugh track)
Iori-"Props? You mean I snuck into the set at the dead of night, beat
up that Stallone guy, and all for a bunch of fake guns?!" (laugh track)
K'-"Yeah. Anyways, as I was saying, we have 23 bullets and no guns. But I reckon that if we throw them hard enough we'll achieve the same effect."
(laugh track)
Hugo-"I got six pounds of beef." (laugh track, hootin' and hollerin')
Remy-"I don't need that! That is dis-gustin'!!"
Hugo-"Uh, I'm not talkin' 'bout downstairs, I mean I found some of
that beef jerky stuff that K' likes so much."
K'-"COO'!!!"
Maxima-"That's the ticket little buddy." (smacks him with hat)
Iori-"Men, now is the time to strike! Dee Jay will be busy with his,
quote, buddies. We will go there and sabotage his 'Rasta-raunt'. Time
is of the essence people! Move out!"
Before they can leave, Yashiro and Shermie enter.
Yashiro-"Hey wuzup guys?"
Iori-"Oh, just raging a bit o' war. We're going over to Dee Jay's to
sabotage big time!! You know, the usual. And how've you been?"
Shermie-"We needed to get some things."
Iori-"Okay..um..... If you help us, and we win the war, we'll give
you guys some food for free. Howzat?"
Shermie-"Sounds like fun."
Yashiro-"Cool."
Remy-"Grab some knives, some fatigues, and let's go!" fade out
We enter on the dark street near Dee Jay's. It's a typical New York
street after a rain. Complete with tagging on the walls, no one on the
streets, lights in the buildings, and steam from the sewers. We hear
the screeching of wheels in the distance and a truck (a Dodge Ram they
hotwired in a parking lot to use as their doomsday ship.) swerves as it
zooms down the wet street. The door flies open and Iori, Remy, Hugo, K', Maxima, Yashiro and Shermie crash out onto the sidewalk, or as Iori
thought, the shores of Normandy. The unpiloted car flies into the
top of a tree. (laugh track)
Iori (whispering)-"Okay people, this is the battle field. And Dee Jay
is the enemy. Enter through the back. You are to find and kill him, if
the odds are stacked against you, take the only way out..."
Shermie-"You want us to kill ourselves?"
Iori-"No, bitch, you plow through those sons of bitches and break a
limb on 'em if you can, we don't give up on my watch..."
all but Iori-(what the hell did that mean?)
Iori-"Okay men, we depart, may we rain terrible hellfire on the lot of
them, and be back in time for tea!!" (laugh track) fade out
Inside the apartment, Goenitz is sleeping on the couch with a drumstick
by his head and Schnapps is poured all over the floor. Chris is
playing a video game known only as..... 'Nazi Smasher!! II: No
Mercy from Marco'
Chris-"Dawl get dem Nazi's." (using his backpack as a foot rest)
fade out
Back in the alley, the gang turns toward a coughing noise from a dark
corner.
Shadow man-"Eh! Who are (cough) you skulking around like a bunch of
Spanish ninjas?" (laugh track)
Remy-"Hey it's Alex."
Hugo-"You mean the guy I stole the rasslin' trophy from? How's it feel
to be second best?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!!!!!!"
Alex-"God hates you bitch... (slaps Hugo cross face with a Bible."
Hugo-"Oh the painful memories........"
Shermie-"Why are you in the alley?"
Alex-"Alright, I'll tell you my tale of woe. I came because I stole
some coupons from Benimaru for a free meal from dis place. Now I'm only
gonna say dis once, Dee Jay's secret sauce is actually-"
Iori (cuts in)-"No time for small talk! We got us a mission! And I'll
be damned if an' we go over time on my watch. Now is you a Yankee,
or is you'se wit' us?"
Alex-"Well...I got dis here stungun.... Let's go kick some ass!"
Hugo knocks the door in with his monstrous gut like a battering ram.
Iori-"I am the Snake Man!!!"
Iori hits the ground like a stone and slides across the floor- just like
a snake. The rest just follow him into the bar. Panic struck and a huge
battle ensues. Dee Jay's posse never stood a chance against a band of
drunken vigilante's. The battle was fought and won within 30 seconds.
Cries of "Long Live the Confederacy!" were heard by all. The war heroes
returned to their quiet place across the street, after setting the
building aflame. (laugh track)
Remy walks to the window and looks across the way.
Remy-"The flaming building is so strong, I bet we could cook stuff on
this windowsill."
Iori-"That'll teach every entrepreneur on the face of this God-forsaken
planet, by cracky!!!! The Battle of Antiettam Creek, our victory, will
surely leave us as the only bar/restaurant in town. Next down, we will
destroy every McDonalds we can find!!"
They clink together their glasses of victory booze in cheers. They won
the battle and gained a new friend. Yashiro and Shermie returned home
to Goenitz passed out, and Chris killing Nazi's.
Chris-"You guys missed a great day! We bought stuff, then stuff
happened. On the news they said some bar was burning. The footage was
cool!"
Shermie and Yashiro, saying nothing, collapse to the floor.
Credits Roll
Men With Out Jobs Song Plays
screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash.
Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture
where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed
by the subtitle, "The Last Temptation of Iori:Over the Edge."
We enter in the apartment. Yashiro and Shermie are sitting on the couch
watching 'Shaft III: Shaft vs. Rocky, Eat This Balboa!' on the TV set.
Chris is sitting at a table reading a novel, 'The Politics of Dancing
and You', a masterpiece if I must say.
Yashiro (takes a drink of beer)-"Hoo-ha! Don't mess with Shaft or he'll
bitch slap you into next Thursday!" (laugh track)
Goenitz enters. (clapping and cheering)-"Ah, Chris there you are! You
start school tomorrow."
Chris (is shocked)-"WHAT?! School? I can't go to school....."
Goenitz-"Sorry Chris, but with my new, fancy big city job, I can't
teach you anymore. I have to power lunch at eleven today."
Chris-"Whaddya mean fancy, big city job. All you do is pretend to be
hit by cars then sue the drivers for all they got. That isn't a fancy,
big city job. I call that 'Idiot Citizenship'. And you aren't going to
power lunch at eleven, you're going to scarf a bunch of fried chicken
and down some peppermint Schnapps, then fall asleep on the couch."
Goenitz-"And why DON'T you want to go to school? You can get yourself
into all sorts of crazy shenanigens! Now c'mon. We gotta get you some
school stuff. Oh, Shermie, Yashiro. While we're gone, pick up some
dinner at Iori's. Maybe see something cool."
Shermie-"We will, when Shaft bitch slaps Rocky again- Okay, there he
goes. C'mon Yashiro."
They leave. We fade in at a store of sorts. Goenitz and Chris are
looking for stuff.
Chris (holding up the round, black, thick rimmed glasses with no
lenses.)-"Okay, tell me AGAIN why I have to wear these." (laugh track)
Goenitz-"How can you learn unless you wear them? They make you look
int_a_melectual or something." (laugh track)
Chris (throws a notebook in the basket)-"Hey Goenitz, did you ever
go to school when you were a kid?"
Goenitz- "Ummmm.....Not that I can recollect." fade out
The Potato in Chainmail, Iori, K', Maxima, Remy and Hugo are
decked out in army fatigues and are readying for war. Iori is
filling boot flasks with gin, and Hugo is polishing his sledgehammer, Remy is practicing his knife throwing on a picture of Brian
Battler on the wall of the bar.
Remy-"We have a box of 20 bullets, and a box of 3 bullets. That also
has a picture in it of.....(squints at picture) Iori stepping on a
rather bloody Kyo." (laugh track)
Iori-"What other provisions do we have?"
Hugo-"We have knives."
K'-"Unfortunately, we have 23 bullets but no guns."
Iori (points to stack of crates labeled 'guns')-"What are those then?"
Maxima-"They appear to be the missing prop guns from the Rambo set."
(laugh track)
Iori-"Props? You mean I snuck into the set at the dead of night, beat
up that Stallone guy, and all for a bunch of fake guns?!" (laugh track)
K'-"Yeah. Anyways, as I was saying, we have 23 bullets and no guns. But I reckon that if we throw them hard enough we'll achieve the same effect."
(laugh track)
Hugo-"I got six pounds of beef." (laugh track, hootin' and hollerin')
Remy-"I don't need that! That is dis-gustin'!!"
Hugo-"Uh, I'm not talkin' 'bout downstairs, I mean I found some of
that beef jerky stuff that K' likes so much."
K'-"COO'!!!"
Maxima-"That's the ticket little buddy." (smacks him with hat)
Iori-"Men, now is the time to strike! Dee Jay will be busy with his,
quote, buddies. We will go there and sabotage his 'Rasta-raunt'. Time
is of the essence people! Move out!"
Before they can leave, Yashiro and Shermie enter.
Yashiro-"Hey wuzup guys?"
Iori-"Oh, just raging a bit o' war. We're going over to Dee Jay's to
sabotage big time!! You know, the usual. And how've you been?"
Shermie-"We needed to get some things."
Iori-"Okay..um..... If you help us, and we win the war, we'll give
you guys some food for free. Howzat?"
Shermie-"Sounds like fun."
Yashiro-"Cool."
Remy-"Grab some knives, some fatigues, and let's go!" fade out
We enter on the dark street near Dee Jay's. It's a typical New York
street after a rain. Complete with tagging on the walls, no one on the
streets, lights in the buildings, and steam from the sewers. We hear
the screeching of wheels in the distance and a truck (a Dodge Ram they
hotwired in a parking lot to use as their doomsday ship.) swerves as it
zooms down the wet street. The door flies open and Iori, Remy, Hugo, K', Maxima, Yashiro and Shermie crash out onto the sidewalk, or as Iori
thought, the shores of Normandy. The unpiloted car flies into the
top of a tree. (laugh track)
Iori (whispering)-"Okay people, this is the battle field. And Dee Jay
is the enemy. Enter through the back. You are to find and kill him, if
the odds are stacked against you, take the only way out..."
Shermie-"You want us to kill ourselves?"
Iori-"No, bitch, you plow through those sons of bitches and break a
limb on 'em if you can, we don't give up on my watch..."
all but Iori-(what the hell did that mean?)
Iori-"Okay men, we depart, may we rain terrible hellfire on the lot of
them, and be back in time for tea!!" (laugh track) fade out
Inside the apartment, Goenitz is sleeping on the couch with a drumstick
by his head and Schnapps is poured all over the floor. Chris is
playing a video game known only as..... 'Nazi Smasher!! II: No
Mercy from Marco'
Chris-"Dawl get dem Nazi's." (using his backpack as a foot rest)
fade out
Back in the alley, the gang turns toward a coughing noise from a dark
corner.
Shadow man-"Eh! Who are (cough) you skulking around like a bunch of
Spanish ninjas?" (laugh track)
Remy-"Hey it's Alex."
Hugo-"You mean the guy I stole the rasslin' trophy from? How's it feel
to be second best?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!!!!!!"
Alex-"God hates you bitch... (slaps Hugo cross face with a Bible."
Hugo-"Oh the painful memories........"
Shermie-"Why are you in the alley?"
Alex-"Alright, I'll tell you my tale of woe. I came because I stole
some coupons from Benimaru for a free meal from dis place. Now I'm only
gonna say dis once, Dee Jay's secret sauce is actually-"
Iori (cuts in)-"No time for small talk! We got us a mission! And I'll
be damned if an' we go over time on my watch. Now is you a Yankee,
or is you'se wit' us?"
Alex-"Well...I got dis here stungun.... Let's go kick some ass!"
Hugo knocks the door in with his monstrous gut like a battering ram.
Iori-"I am the Snake Man!!!"
Iori hits the ground like a stone and slides across the floor- just like
a snake. The rest just follow him into the bar. Panic struck and a huge
battle ensues. Dee Jay's posse never stood a chance against a band of
drunken vigilante's. The battle was fought and won within 30 seconds.
Cries of "Long Live the Confederacy!" were heard by all. The war heroes
returned to their quiet place across the street, after setting the
building aflame. (laugh track)
Remy walks to the window and looks across the way.
Remy-"The flaming building is so strong, I bet we could cook stuff on
this windowsill."
Iori-"That'll teach every entrepreneur on the face of this God-forsaken
planet, by cracky!!!! The Battle of Antiettam Creek, our victory, will
surely leave us as the only bar/restaurant in town. Next down, we will
destroy every McDonalds we can find!!"
They clink together their glasses of victory booze in cheers. They won
the battle and gained a new friend. Yashiro and Shermie returned home
to Goenitz passed out, and Chris killing Nazi's.
Chris-"You guys missed a great day! We bought stuff, then stuff
happened. On the news they said some bar was burning. The footage was
cool!"
Shermie and Yashiro, saying nothing, collapse to the floor.
Credits Roll
Men With Out Jobs Song Plays