Cast for this episode:
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie, Chris = the gang
Krush Noodbutt = Character from Garou: Mark of the Wolves, we just like
the name, it sounds ever so homosexual.
Syo Kirishima (i.e. Sexual Dynamite)= This is a new guy for KOF 2000,
he has a special move called 'Sexual Dynamite' I don't know anything
about him, but he looks kinda of like your average japanese guy.
Kyo Kusanagi = resident dumb bastard, and hero characer of the KOF
series since it began in 1994. I hate this guy.
Ryuji Yamazaki = Probably one of the coolest characters ever in a
fighting game. He is very tall, wears all black, has a big knife, & screams a lot. I look up to him as a father figure. His first
appearance was Fatal Fury 3, but he's been in KOF since 1997.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the
screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash.
Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture
where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed
by the subtitle, "Chris goes to school"
We enter on the apartment. Yashiro and Shermie are watching 'Rocky X:
Rocky vs. Mr. T, Ah Pity Duh Foo Who Trains in the Meat Locker'.
Shermie-"Wow, Rocky throws a pretty good punch in his old age."
T.V.-"Eat dis Balboa! Stay in school!"
Yashiro-"But Mr. T's better."
T.V-"Mr. T! How can we be big and strong like you?" "Well chilr'n, stay in drugs, drink your school, and don't do milk. Mistah T needs work."
Chris walks in from another room and picks his backpack off the table.
Chris-"Hey! I'm goin' to school."
Yashiro-"That's too bad. That means you'll miss the 'Rocky' marathon."
Chris-"Tape 'Rocky XI: Rocky Battles White Supremacy', and 'Rocky XII:
Mr. Balboa Goes to Washington'. I hear he digs up George Washington's
corpse and punches it's light's out. An' I ain't gonna miss that on
the account of school." (laug track)
Shermie-"Do you want us to tape 'Rocky XIII: Rocky vs. Dracula vs. the
Wolfman vs. Frankenstein vs. the Mummy, All's Not Well In New Orleans'?"(laught track)
Chris-"Nah. I hear that one sucks. I'll see you guy's later." fade out
Chris walks among the other students into the two-story indoor school.
Chris sees a man in black holding up some kids for their lunch money
near the playground. This man looks very familiar, but then, so does
everybody in this fashion-obsessed day and age.
Chris(-'I ain't gonna have fun in this school.')
As he goes in the entrance, we zoom in on a sign beside the door.
Please don't bring any guns.
We don't want a repeat of
last month's problem.
-Noodbut
Chris-"Who the hell is Noodbut?"
Some guy-"That's our Principal. Krush Noodbut." (laugh track)
Chris(-'I ain't gonna have fun at this school.) "And Who the hell are
you, friendly bastard?"
Some guy-"I'm Syo 'Sexual Dynamite' Kirishima, the 'big man' on campus. Do you want my 'autograph? It is 'spectacular'! I am 'art'.
'Stay in school'! (laugh track)
Chris-"Shut the hell up."
Syo-"Oh now what was that? You want that I should give you a 'savage
beating'? You stand no chance to the 'Sexual Dynamite'. I'll kill
you, 'Drink your milk'!
Chris-"Are you asking me to fight?"
Syo-"OHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I's gonna knock you'se out, 'Eat your greens'.
FIGHT SCENE
*Syo taunts Chris with 'When I'm done, my balls'll be bouncin' on your
chin'. (gives Chris the 'finger')
*Chris kicks Syo in the shin extremely hard. This knocks Syo off balance and he simultaneously lets out an "AAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!".
*Second, Chris gives Syo a 'spinning backfist blow' that makes him turn 90 degrees to his right side.
*Finally, Chris does a 'turnaround heel kick' that knocks Syo spinning
onto the floor, spitting a bit of blood.
*Chris doesn't fight fair, so he walked over and stepped on Syo's head. "Hey mister, my boot doesn't like your head..."
END FIGHT SCENE
Syo-"Next time I'll go easy on you. 'Go find a job'." (laugh track)
Chris(-Whatever, dumbass.)
Chris walks down the hall looking at the numbers on the doors.
Chris(-......309.......310......311......312.....314....314? What
happened to 313? Oh well, like I care, here's my class.) (laugh track)
Chris enters door number 314. The teacher is gone, and students are
talking. Chris stands, the bell rings and a couple people sit down.
Chris goes to an empty seat next to a really out of place guy wearing a fake big white beard, dark sunglasses and a wide brimmed hat. Chris
stares at him blankly for a while.
Chris-"Kyo?"
The guy looks over at him, then realizing he gave himself away, panics.
Kyo-"GUH..!? Uh no, I am not Kyo..... I'm.....uh.... Gordon Chavez! Yeah! That's it.... Gordon Chavez, exchange student extrodinaire."
Chris (on verge of laughing)-"Geez Kyo, how old are you? Like... 23 or something? Isn't that a bit old for a sophomore?"
Kyo-"..uh......"
Chris-"Hehheh, wait 'til Iori hears about this one. He'll laugh himself to death, that handsome bastard."
Kyo-"WHAT!?! Don't tell Yagami..... I'll...."
Chris-"Give me 100 dollars now Kusanagi, or the word runs."
Kyo reluctantly gives him the money.
Kyo-"Now promise you won't tell Iori."
Chris-"I promise...(whispers)..that I will.. heeheehee.." (laugh track)
The door opens and that same tall, man in black that was robbing the kids walked in.
Chris(-Hmm....Tall.. wearing all black.. blonde and black hair combed
back....hand in pocket....posture..... I KNEW THIS GUY LOOKED FAMILIAR!! It's...)
Man-"I'm Professor Yamazaki, and I'm going to be your teacher for the
school year."
Chris(-I KNEW IT!!!)
Yamazaki-"Okay, sit down and shut up." (the rest of the people sit down) I'm going to call roll. Some of you are familiar. (looks at Kyo and tries not to laugh) Alright, Benemuso Azrael?" (laugh track)
Voice-"It is I who am here."
Yamazaki-"I don't care. Look, 'cause this'll take to long, I'm just
going to randomly call out your names. Okay, Chris?"
Chris-"Here."
Yamazaki-"Hey, do you still live with Yashiro, Shermie and that creepy
guy?"
Chris-"Goenitz."
Yamazaki-"Yeah. You know Chris, You kind of remind me of a young me. Not too much younger though, perhaps a few years older. Anyway, Duke Rambert?" (laugh track)
Voice-"Here."
Yamazaki-"Hank?"
Voice-"Hea'"
Yamazaki-"Kyo Kusanagi?"
Kyo-"Uh......here.."
Yamazaki-"Well, well, well, if it isn't the hero of the King of
Fighters! My god, you're still in high school! How many times have you
been held back?"
Kyo-"...eight times..." (laugh track)
Yamazaki-"Eight? God Damn! You're an idiot! Everyone point and laugh!
C'mon don't be shy! There's plenty of room to crowd around." (laugh track)
Everyone points and laughs. Kyo is bright red and cowers near his backpack.
Yamazaki-"So, tell me. Has Saisyu disowned you yet? By the way, where's that Benimaru guy you hang out with a lot? Smoking ecstasy with his 'man friends' I presume?"
Kyo-"What Benimaru does behind closed doors is only for me and those other guys to know!"
Yamazaki holds the same disgusted expression for a little more than a minute, and everybody is wondering about what Kyo just said.
Yamazaki-"I'm just going to repress all that rage and continue roll call. Rock Howard?"
Rock-"Present."
Yamazaki-"Tell me, Rock, is Geese Howard yo daddy?"
Rock-"Yes."
Yamazaki-"Okay, tell me. What does your family smoke when they come up
with these names."
Rock-"Oh, you know. The usual." (laugh track)
Yamazaki-"I tire of this. Syo, Kensou, Robert, Billy, Brian, Bao,..... screw it, you're all being marked here. Now for the lesson plan."
He walked over to the chalkboard, grabbed himself some chalk, and wrote the word "AND" on the board in big jagged letters. He then said that he was going out for a smoke and would be back in "a little while". (laugh track)
Three minutes before the last bell of the day would ring, Yamazaki
returned.
Yamazaki-"Okay, for homework tonight, you have to write a five page
rambling manifesto on today's lesson. Tomorrow, we're having a 100 question test on it. So study. Or some shit like that. Anyway, I'd like to leave you little bastards with a bit of advice. There's a little movie out called 'Rocky XIV: Rocky vs. Superman, The Right To Wear The Cape'. If you see this movie, be sure to learn the names of the people who made it. Then kill them and move to Norway. I know that's what I'm doing. In fact, I'm leaving next week, so you'll have a sub for a while."
The bell rings. Chris sees that Yamazaki has a cell phone.
Chris-"Hey Yamazaki, can I use your phone?"
Yamazaki-"Give me a quarter."
Chris (turns toward Kyo)-"Hey Kyo, can I borrow a quarter?"
Kyo-"Alright, as long as you don't call Yashiro."
Chris-"Alright. Yashiro I won't call."
Kyo stands by. Chris dials in the number. After a pause...
Chris-"Hi Yashiro (Kyo does a double take. laugh track) Can I talk to
Shermie?"
Pause.
Chris-"Hey Shermie, you'll never guess who's in my class! It's the hero of KOF himself! Kyo Kusanagi!"
Laughter is heard from phone. Yamazaki snickers. Kyo starts crying.
(laugh track)
Syo Kirishima-"Ooh, total burn! Don't do drugs!" Gives a thumbs up.
Chris goes home.
Credits Roll
Men Without Job's song plays
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie, Chris = the gang
Krush Noodbutt = Character from Garou: Mark of the Wolves, we just like
the name, it sounds ever so homosexual.
Syo Kirishima (i.e. Sexual Dynamite)= This is a new guy for KOF 2000,
he has a special move called 'Sexual Dynamite' I don't know anything
about him, but he looks kinda of like your average japanese guy.
Kyo Kusanagi = resident dumb bastard, and hero characer of the KOF
series since it began in 1994. I hate this guy.
Ryuji Yamazaki = Probably one of the coolest characters ever in a
fighting game. He is very tall, wears all black, has a big knife, & screams a lot. I look up to him as a father figure. His first
appearance was Fatal Fury 3, but he's been in KOF since 1997.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the
screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash.
Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture
where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed
by the subtitle, "Chris goes to school"
We enter on the apartment. Yashiro and Shermie are watching 'Rocky X:
Rocky vs. Mr. T, Ah Pity Duh Foo Who Trains in the Meat Locker'.
Shermie-"Wow, Rocky throws a pretty good punch in his old age."
T.V.-"Eat dis Balboa! Stay in school!"
Yashiro-"But Mr. T's better."
T.V-"Mr. T! How can we be big and strong like you?" "Well chilr'n, stay in drugs, drink your school, and don't do milk. Mistah T needs work."
Chris walks in from another room and picks his backpack off the table.
Chris-"Hey! I'm goin' to school."
Yashiro-"That's too bad. That means you'll miss the 'Rocky' marathon."
Chris-"Tape 'Rocky XI: Rocky Battles White Supremacy', and 'Rocky XII:
Mr. Balboa Goes to Washington'. I hear he digs up George Washington's
corpse and punches it's light's out. An' I ain't gonna miss that on
the account of school." (laug track)
Shermie-"Do you want us to tape 'Rocky XIII: Rocky vs. Dracula vs. the
Wolfman vs. Frankenstein vs. the Mummy, All's Not Well In New Orleans'?"(laught track)
Chris-"Nah. I hear that one sucks. I'll see you guy's later." fade out
Chris walks among the other students into the two-story indoor school.
Chris sees a man in black holding up some kids for their lunch money
near the playground. This man looks very familiar, but then, so does
everybody in this fashion-obsessed day and age.
Chris(-'I ain't gonna have fun in this school.')
As he goes in the entrance, we zoom in on a sign beside the door.
Please don't bring any guns.
We don't want a repeat of
last month's problem.
-Noodbut
Chris-"Who the hell is Noodbut?"
Some guy-"That's our Principal. Krush Noodbut." (laugh track)
Chris(-'I ain't gonna have fun at this school.) "And Who the hell are
you, friendly bastard?"
Some guy-"I'm Syo 'Sexual Dynamite' Kirishima, the 'big man' on campus. Do you want my 'autograph? It is 'spectacular'! I am 'art'.
'Stay in school'! (laugh track)
Chris-"Shut the hell up."
Syo-"Oh now what was that? You want that I should give you a 'savage
beating'? You stand no chance to the 'Sexual Dynamite'. I'll kill
you, 'Drink your milk'!
Chris-"Are you asking me to fight?"
Syo-"OHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I's gonna knock you'se out, 'Eat your greens'.
FIGHT SCENE
*Syo taunts Chris with 'When I'm done, my balls'll be bouncin' on your
chin'. (gives Chris the 'finger')
*Chris kicks Syo in the shin extremely hard. This knocks Syo off balance and he simultaneously lets out an "AAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!".
*Second, Chris gives Syo a 'spinning backfist blow' that makes him turn 90 degrees to his right side.
*Finally, Chris does a 'turnaround heel kick' that knocks Syo spinning
onto the floor, spitting a bit of blood.
*Chris doesn't fight fair, so he walked over and stepped on Syo's head. "Hey mister, my boot doesn't like your head..."
END FIGHT SCENE
Syo-"Next time I'll go easy on you. 'Go find a job'." (laugh track)
Chris(-Whatever, dumbass.)
Chris walks down the hall looking at the numbers on the doors.
Chris(-......309.......310......311......312.....314....314? What
happened to 313? Oh well, like I care, here's my class.) (laugh track)
Chris enters door number 314. The teacher is gone, and students are
talking. Chris stands, the bell rings and a couple people sit down.
Chris goes to an empty seat next to a really out of place guy wearing a fake big white beard, dark sunglasses and a wide brimmed hat. Chris
stares at him blankly for a while.
Chris-"Kyo?"
The guy looks over at him, then realizing he gave himself away, panics.
Kyo-"GUH..!? Uh no, I am not Kyo..... I'm.....uh.... Gordon Chavez! Yeah! That's it.... Gordon Chavez, exchange student extrodinaire."
Chris (on verge of laughing)-"Geez Kyo, how old are you? Like... 23 or something? Isn't that a bit old for a sophomore?"
Kyo-"..uh......"
Chris-"Hehheh, wait 'til Iori hears about this one. He'll laugh himself to death, that handsome bastard."
Kyo-"WHAT!?! Don't tell Yagami..... I'll...."
Chris-"Give me 100 dollars now Kusanagi, or the word runs."
Kyo reluctantly gives him the money.
Kyo-"Now promise you won't tell Iori."
Chris-"I promise...(whispers)..that I will.. heeheehee.." (laugh track)
The door opens and that same tall, man in black that was robbing the kids walked in.
Chris(-Hmm....Tall.. wearing all black.. blonde and black hair combed
back....hand in pocket....posture..... I KNEW THIS GUY LOOKED FAMILIAR!! It's...)
Man-"I'm Professor Yamazaki, and I'm going to be your teacher for the
school year."
Chris(-I KNEW IT!!!)
Yamazaki-"Okay, sit down and shut up." (the rest of the people sit down) I'm going to call roll. Some of you are familiar. (looks at Kyo and tries not to laugh) Alright, Benemuso Azrael?" (laugh track)
Voice-"It is I who am here."
Yamazaki-"I don't care. Look, 'cause this'll take to long, I'm just
going to randomly call out your names. Okay, Chris?"
Chris-"Here."
Yamazaki-"Hey, do you still live with Yashiro, Shermie and that creepy
guy?"
Chris-"Goenitz."
Yamazaki-"Yeah. You know Chris, You kind of remind me of a young me. Not too much younger though, perhaps a few years older. Anyway, Duke Rambert?" (laugh track)
Voice-"Here."
Yamazaki-"Hank?"
Voice-"Hea'"
Yamazaki-"Kyo Kusanagi?"
Kyo-"Uh......here.."
Yamazaki-"Well, well, well, if it isn't the hero of the King of
Fighters! My god, you're still in high school! How many times have you
been held back?"
Kyo-"...eight times..." (laugh track)
Yamazaki-"Eight? God Damn! You're an idiot! Everyone point and laugh!
C'mon don't be shy! There's plenty of room to crowd around." (laugh track)
Everyone points and laughs. Kyo is bright red and cowers near his backpack.
Yamazaki-"So, tell me. Has Saisyu disowned you yet? By the way, where's that Benimaru guy you hang out with a lot? Smoking ecstasy with his 'man friends' I presume?"
Kyo-"What Benimaru does behind closed doors is only for me and those other guys to know!"
Yamazaki holds the same disgusted expression for a little more than a minute, and everybody is wondering about what Kyo just said.
Yamazaki-"I'm just going to repress all that rage and continue roll call. Rock Howard?"
Rock-"Present."
Yamazaki-"Tell me, Rock, is Geese Howard yo daddy?"
Rock-"Yes."
Yamazaki-"Okay, tell me. What does your family smoke when they come up
with these names."
Rock-"Oh, you know. The usual." (laugh track)
Yamazaki-"I tire of this. Syo, Kensou, Robert, Billy, Brian, Bao,..... screw it, you're all being marked here. Now for the lesson plan."
He walked over to the chalkboard, grabbed himself some chalk, and wrote the word "AND" on the board in big jagged letters. He then said that he was going out for a smoke and would be back in "a little while". (laugh track)
Three minutes before the last bell of the day would ring, Yamazaki
returned.
Yamazaki-"Okay, for homework tonight, you have to write a five page
rambling manifesto on today's lesson. Tomorrow, we're having a 100 question test on it. So study. Or some shit like that. Anyway, I'd like to leave you little bastards with a bit of advice. There's a little movie out called 'Rocky XIV: Rocky vs. Superman, The Right To Wear The Cape'. If you see this movie, be sure to learn the names of the people who made it. Then kill them and move to Norway. I know that's what I'm doing. In fact, I'm leaving next week, so you'll have a sub for a while."
The bell rings. Chris sees that Yamazaki has a cell phone.
Chris-"Hey Yamazaki, can I use your phone?"
Yamazaki-"Give me a quarter."
Chris (turns toward Kyo)-"Hey Kyo, can I borrow a quarter?"
Kyo-"Alright, as long as you don't call Yashiro."
Chris-"Alright. Yashiro I won't call."
Kyo stands by. Chris dials in the number. After a pause...
Chris-"Hi Yashiro (Kyo does a double take. laugh track) Can I talk to
Shermie?"
Pause.
Chris-"Hey Shermie, you'll never guess who's in my class! It's the hero of KOF himself! Kyo Kusanagi!"
Laughter is heard from phone. Yamazaki snickers. Kyo starts crying.
(laugh track)
Syo Kirishima-"Ooh, total burn! Don't do drugs!" Gives a thumbs up.
Chris goes home.
Credits Roll
Men Without Job's song plays