VH1, Behind the Laughter
The Three Kids and Goenitz Story
(The picture of Yashiro, Shermie, Chris and Goenitz comes onto screen.)
Announcer-" At the end of it's first season, "3 Kids and Goenitz" was
one of the most popular and praised sitcoms of the century. But
behind the camera's veil of laughter and happiness, was fire."
(The picture burns away. Goenitz is sitting in a chair in front of
the camera)
Goenitz-"I always felt like I was getting the worst out of it. I mean,
I graduated from a university with a major in Biology. I had the
highest IQ of them all, but since my character was an insane
dumbass, people would follow me around saying things like,
'There's crazy ol' Goenitz, he's bound to get into crazy
shenanigans! Let's follow him!' By the end of the first season,
I had restraining orders on half of New York!"
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"Everything was going great until Goenitz wrote that tell-all
book that gave detail to everything we hid from the public. It's
'cause of him I had to spend six months in rehab!"
Announcer-"But it wasn't always like this. In the beginning, Yashiro,
Shermie, Chris and Goenitz were sitting at a cafe in between
bouts at the King of Fighters tournament and came up with the
idea for a sitcom."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"We thought it would be pretty cool to have our own show. I
mean, we saw enough sitcoms come and go, how hard could it be?
Even if it didn't last long, being on TV was enough for me. Our
first script was written entirely on napkins from the restaurant,
and we sold it to Heavy D! Studios.
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"We decided to base the story off KoF. Not the tournament, but
the things that happened away from the ring. We collaborated on
ideas, but we just couldn't do it alone. So we reached out to
our KoF friends. Since we were on good terms with most of them,
we thought it would be easy to get them on screen."
Announcer-"They first reached out to Iori, an old friend."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"I always liked Iori, he's one of my favorite people. It
seemed like we got most of our ideas from him. The only problem
was that he was an alcoholic. Our hatred for Iori only goes as
far as the plot of KOF, he's actually fun to be around..."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"Iori drank A LOT. Many times he'd show up to the day's shoot
late and drunk. Those days he always looked like he'd spent the
night in the gutter. But since budgets were strict, we'd have to
write things in at the last moment. Like in the Episode, "Satan
Wants to See the Meercats". He was drunk and heckling the
meercats. The original script called for him to be sober and
sitting on a bench watching the elephants."
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"I was really excited that June morning when Yashiro asked me if
I'd like to be in their sitcom. I...always had a problem with
alcohol, so I tried my best to stay away from it. But things got
stressful and I turned to the bottle. No one else on the set knew
this...but Heavy D!, our producer, constantly tricked me into
drinking. I guess so I'd be funny, but...all those nights I can't
remember...."
Announcer-"The first episode wasn't yet completed and already there
were problems. The three kids and Goenitz sought help where ever
they could find it. And the small group of four expanded to
many."
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"I think...That as Heavy D! hired on more people, things got
worse. There was a lot of turmoil behind the scenes. And the
unseasonably warm weather didn't help."
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"Probably the worst thing that happened on set was when we were
shooting 'Chris Goes to School'. Iori had been drinking A LOT that
day..."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"Everyone knew that Iori just HATED Kyo, but we needed him for
the shoot..."
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"So Iori...drunk as an ape...ripped Kyo apart!"
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"Two words-Blood everywhere!"
Announcer-"With Kyo in the hospital, they had to postpone that episode.
Weather conditions and other things pushed the gang towards the
edge."
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"At about...Episode 5, I think I started my drug habit."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"Filled with hatred, I was possessed to write "Flaming Hatred",
my tell-all book."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"It was sad, really... Old friends turned into enemies, and
Iori was getting worse. He had an imaginary friend..."
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"Somewhere mid-season...I often woke up in gutters and other
strange places. Every morning I would have a killer hangover,
making it damn near impossible to do a good shot. And that fellow
named Cedrick kept following me trying to bum cigarettes off me."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"I don't know if Iori knew this, but Cedrick doesn't exist."
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"You a lie! Cedrick moved to Thailand when I stopped drinking!!"
Announcer-"Struggling to meet Heavy D!'s growing quota, they turned to
the Capcom side."
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"Ya see, our city is split by the tracks. On one side, ya got
the SNK, and on the other, Capcom. We were running short on people.
All the SNK people had their own lives to live and could only do
guest appearances. Our Capcom choice was limited 'cause most of
them only wore karate gi's 24-7."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"SNK and Capcom had been feuding for a long time, so we thought
that maybe we could bring it to an end. Anyway, before our show
aired, it was shameful to even be walking near a Capcom person.
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"Late at night, Yashiro and I decided that we would draft some
Capcom people...But first we had to drink some liquid courage."
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"Three bottles of Vodka later, we were ready. We crossed the tracks and snuck into the Caocom convention."
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"We came back with Remy and Hugo. They were cool. They didn't care
where anyone came from, they also wore normal clothes...None of
this karate gi crap."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"I was surprised about how pleasant Remy and Hugo were. They helped us a lot."
Announcer-"But their peace was soon shattered. The rest of the Capcom
side was angry."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"The Capcom gave us trouble. They sabotaged our sets, our
shoots...everything...Those disgraceful punks. But the only Capcom
people that wern't against us were Remy, Hugo, and Alex. We later
rescued Alex from Hell, I mean Capcom."
(Cut to Remy)
Remy-"It was terrible...our old "friends" now mocked us! And it hurt.."
(Cut to Hugo)
Hugo-"At least five times, during the shooting of our first episode, a
sniper tried to take out Remy and I."
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"Our security had to drastically increase. We hired on Brian Battler,
Chang, Choi, and Earthquake. Things toned down after they showed
those Capcom what they could do. Hehhehheh..."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"Once everything was again cool around Remy and Hugo, we reached
out into the ghetto and pulled out Alex."
Announcer-"But even the Capcom crew had problems."
(Cut to Remy)
Remy-"In between shoots...I had to go back to France. For personal
reasons you see...Well, one day, I had to get some stuff from the
mall. Somewhere on the second floor, a gang war was raging. This
I didn't know. The two gangs had everything: Guns, knives, broken
glass bottles, baseball bats...But as I approached them, I realized
they were just throwing insults back and forth. I had to get by
them, and they started to direct their rage at me. So I kicked a
guy down the escalator.
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"With Remy in jail, we were in trouble. He was to be in the
next scene. Shermie, being the only one who could speak French,
went to France to bail him out."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"Lucky for us, K' and Maxima had a back up scene that didn't
require Remy or Shermie, and it was funny as hell."
(Cut to K')
K'-"Remy and Shermie wouldn't be back for about two days, and our shoot
was the next day. I used to write comedy scenes in high school...
so I dug up one that would be relevant to the rest of the plot."
(Picture of entire cast)
Announcer-"With Remy rescued, all seemed well. But during the taping
of the Wild Wild West episode, disaster struck."
(Picture turns negative)
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"Well, we were doing that bar fight scene...We had practiced it
many times before until we were able to do it backwards, forwards,
and upside-down...but we didn't count on...Irvine...to do what he
did..."
(Cut to Maxima)
Maxima-"I think Irvine was just pissed because his character dies as
soon as he appears. I didn't want to believe he sabotaged us at
first, but he did. We were filming the fight scene and Irvine
bum rushed a cabinet, the cabinet fell...(crying) it fell on me.
And it broke m'leg (sniff) So we had to do a different scene.
Stupid Irvine! I'm glad I took him out!! Uh...never mind..."
Announcer-"And that's the story of how a group of friends started a
national phenomenon."
Credits Roll
The Three Kids and Goenitz Story
(The picture of Yashiro, Shermie, Chris and Goenitz comes onto screen.)
Announcer-" At the end of it's first season, "3 Kids and Goenitz" was
one of the most popular and praised sitcoms of the century. But
behind the camera's veil of laughter and happiness, was fire."
(The picture burns away. Goenitz is sitting in a chair in front of
the camera)
Goenitz-"I always felt like I was getting the worst out of it. I mean,
I graduated from a university with a major in Biology. I had the
highest IQ of them all, but since my character was an insane
dumbass, people would follow me around saying things like,
'There's crazy ol' Goenitz, he's bound to get into crazy
shenanigans! Let's follow him!' By the end of the first season,
I had restraining orders on half of New York!"
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"Everything was going great until Goenitz wrote that tell-all
book that gave detail to everything we hid from the public. It's
'cause of him I had to spend six months in rehab!"
Announcer-"But it wasn't always like this. In the beginning, Yashiro,
Shermie, Chris and Goenitz were sitting at a cafe in between
bouts at the King of Fighters tournament and came up with the
idea for a sitcom."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"We thought it would be pretty cool to have our own show. I
mean, we saw enough sitcoms come and go, how hard could it be?
Even if it didn't last long, being on TV was enough for me. Our
first script was written entirely on napkins from the restaurant,
and we sold it to Heavy D! Studios.
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"We decided to base the story off KoF. Not the tournament, but
the things that happened away from the ring. We collaborated on
ideas, but we just couldn't do it alone. So we reached out to
our KoF friends. Since we were on good terms with most of them,
we thought it would be easy to get them on screen."
Announcer-"They first reached out to Iori, an old friend."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"I always liked Iori, he's one of my favorite people. It
seemed like we got most of our ideas from him. The only problem
was that he was an alcoholic. Our hatred for Iori only goes as
far as the plot of KOF, he's actually fun to be around..."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"Iori drank A LOT. Many times he'd show up to the day's shoot
late and drunk. Those days he always looked like he'd spent the
night in the gutter. But since budgets were strict, we'd have to
write things in at the last moment. Like in the Episode, "Satan
Wants to See the Meercats". He was drunk and heckling the
meercats. The original script called for him to be sober and
sitting on a bench watching the elephants."
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"I was really excited that June morning when Yashiro asked me if
I'd like to be in their sitcom. I...always had a problem with
alcohol, so I tried my best to stay away from it. But things got
stressful and I turned to the bottle. No one else on the set knew
this...but Heavy D!, our producer, constantly tricked me into
drinking. I guess so I'd be funny, but...all those nights I can't
remember...."
Announcer-"The first episode wasn't yet completed and already there
were problems. The three kids and Goenitz sought help where ever
they could find it. And the small group of four expanded to
many."
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"I think...That as Heavy D! hired on more people, things got
worse. There was a lot of turmoil behind the scenes. And the
unseasonably warm weather didn't help."
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"Probably the worst thing that happened on set was when we were
shooting 'Chris Goes to School'. Iori had been drinking A LOT that
day..."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"Everyone knew that Iori just HATED Kyo, but we needed him for
the shoot..."
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"So Iori...drunk as an ape...ripped Kyo apart!"
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"Two words-Blood everywhere!"
Announcer-"With Kyo in the hospital, they had to postpone that episode.
Weather conditions and other things pushed the gang towards the
edge."
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"At about...Episode 5, I think I started my drug habit."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"Filled with hatred, I was possessed to write "Flaming Hatred",
my tell-all book."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"It was sad, really... Old friends turned into enemies, and
Iori was getting worse. He had an imaginary friend..."
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"Somewhere mid-season...I often woke up in gutters and other
strange places. Every morning I would have a killer hangover,
making it damn near impossible to do a good shot. And that fellow
named Cedrick kept following me trying to bum cigarettes off me."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"I don't know if Iori knew this, but Cedrick doesn't exist."
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"You a lie! Cedrick moved to Thailand when I stopped drinking!!"
Announcer-"Struggling to meet Heavy D!'s growing quota, they turned to
the Capcom side."
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"Ya see, our city is split by the tracks. On one side, ya got
the SNK, and on the other, Capcom. We were running short on people.
All the SNK people had their own lives to live and could only do
guest appearances. Our Capcom choice was limited 'cause most of
them only wore karate gi's 24-7."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"SNK and Capcom had been feuding for a long time, so we thought
that maybe we could bring it to an end. Anyway, before our show
aired, it was shameful to even be walking near a Capcom person.
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"Late at night, Yashiro and I decided that we would draft some
Capcom people...But first we had to drink some liquid courage."
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"Three bottles of Vodka later, we were ready. We crossed the tracks and snuck into the Caocom convention."
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"We came back with Remy and Hugo. They were cool. They didn't care
where anyone came from, they also wore normal clothes...None of
this karate gi crap."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"I was surprised about how pleasant Remy and Hugo were. They helped us a lot."
Announcer-"But their peace was soon shattered. The rest of the Capcom
side was angry."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"The Capcom gave us trouble. They sabotaged our sets, our
shoots...everything...Those disgraceful punks. But the only Capcom
people that wern't against us were Remy, Hugo, and Alex. We later
rescued Alex from Hell, I mean Capcom."
(Cut to Remy)
Remy-"It was terrible...our old "friends" now mocked us! And it hurt.."
(Cut to Hugo)
Hugo-"At least five times, during the shooting of our first episode, a
sniper tried to take out Remy and I."
(Cut to Chris)
Chris-"Our security had to drastically increase. We hired on Brian Battler,
Chang, Choi, and Earthquake. Things toned down after they showed
those Capcom what they could do. Hehhehheh..."
(Cut to Shermie)
Shermie-"Once everything was again cool around Remy and Hugo, we reached
out into the ghetto and pulled out Alex."
Announcer-"But even the Capcom crew had problems."
(Cut to Remy)
Remy-"In between shoots...I had to go back to France. For personal
reasons you see...Well, one day, I had to get some stuff from the
mall. Somewhere on the second floor, a gang war was raging. This
I didn't know. The two gangs had everything: Guns, knives, broken
glass bottles, baseball bats...But as I approached them, I realized
they were just throwing insults back and forth. I had to get by
them, and they started to direct their rage at me. So I kicked a
guy down the escalator.
(Cut to Yashiro)
Yashiro-"With Remy in jail, we were in trouble. He was to be in the
next scene. Shermie, being the only one who could speak French,
went to France to bail him out."
(Cut to Goenitz)
Goenitz-"Lucky for us, K' and Maxima had a back up scene that didn't
require Remy or Shermie, and it was funny as hell."
(Cut to K')
K'-"Remy and Shermie wouldn't be back for about two days, and our shoot
was the next day. I used to write comedy scenes in high school...
so I dug up one that would be relevant to the rest of the plot."
(Picture of entire cast)
Announcer-"With Remy rescued, all seemed well. But during the taping
of the Wild Wild West episode, disaster struck."
(Picture turns negative)
(Cut to Iori)
Iori-"Well, we were doing that bar fight scene...We had practiced it
many times before until we were able to do it backwards, forwards,
and upside-down...but we didn't count on...Irvine...to do what he
did..."
(Cut to Maxima)
Maxima-"I think Irvine was just pissed because his character dies as
soon as he appears. I didn't want to believe he sabotaged us at
first, but he did. We were filming the fight scene and Irvine
bum rushed a cabinet, the cabinet fell...(crying) it fell on me.
And it broke m'leg (sniff) So we had to do a different scene.
Stupid Irvine! I'm glad I took him out!! Uh...never mind..."
Announcer-"And that's the story of how a group of friends started a
national phenomenon."
Credits Roll