Disclaimer: The characters and places and stuff belong to JKR. But for now, they are at my mercy. *evil grin* I'll return them as soon as I'm finished…maybe.

This is the sequel to "What Is Happiness?" To understand this story, you must first read that one. It is located at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=946096

In this chapter: Another meeting…Harry's letter to Draco…Journal entries…

~~~

Later that day, at lunch, Harry received another letter from Dumbledore. He sighed, shaking his head as he read it.

Harry,

Please come to my office as soon as you receive this note.

Dumbledore

"Dumbledore wants to see me, yet again," Harry told his friends. "I don't know how long I'll be."

"All right, we'll see you later, then, Harry," Hermione replied.

Harry picked his books up and went upstairs. He spoke the password to the gargoyle and was admitted into the room. He found both of his fathers in there, along with Sean, Kayla, and Dumbledore. Kayla ran to Harry and hugged him.

"I missed you, Harry!" she squealed. Harry lifted her up and hugged her.

"Missed you, too, darling," he replied, kissing her nose. He sat down in a chair, with his sister in his lap.

Nobody spoke for a few minutes, so Harry smirked and decided to try to get inside their minds. He tried Dumbledore first, but was immediately blocked. Next, Harry tried Remus, who was leaning over in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees, and his hands folded in front of his face.

-I hope this works... I don't want to lose my son to himself. What the bloody hell is wrong with him? I wish he would let us help him...

Sighing silently, Harry focused this time on Sirius, who was glancing nervously between his eldest son and the floor.

-He hates me, I know it. Merlin, I hurt him. How can I ever forgive myself? How can he forgive me? He hates me, and I deserve it.

Harry frowned at this and began to speak telepathically to Sirius, who was startled at first.

-I don't hate you, Dad. I love you. It's just that, when you grabbed me, it really scared me. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I forgive you.

-Thank you, Harry. I love you, too. I'm so sorry.

Suddenly, Sean spoke up, breaking the silence.

"How come nobody's talking?" he wondered. Dumbledore took this time to tell Harry the reason he was asked to come.

"Harry, Remus came to me this morning, with some concerns about our restrictions on you," he explained. "He spoke to Sirius about it as well, and we agreed that some of what we discussed last night should be reconsidered."

"First of all," Remus said, "you will not be constantly supervised at meals or while you're sleeping. However, we will be checking up on you sometimes to make sure that you're eating enough, and you will still be required to take a potion every couple of nights."

"You still will not be participating in the Dueling Club or the Hogsmeade trips," Sirius continued. "The Dueling Club, we think, may be too tiring for you yet. As for Hogsmeade, you can go only if you are accompanied by me, Daddy, Severus, or George."

"And the field-study courses," Dumbledore added. "Again, we don't want you to wear yourself out. Therefore, you will start out with only one field-study course this term. If we see fit, you may be able to take on the other extra classes, with a bit of tutoring beforehand."

"What about Quidditch?" Harry wondered. Remus sighed.

"No Quidditch," he replied, softly. "At least for a few weeks." Harry's eyes flashed with anger. "Harry, please, put yourself in our position. If you had a son who wasn't eating or sleeping properly, who was constantly exhausted, would you really like the idea of him flying a hundred feet in the air on a broomstick?"

"We're just concerned that you might have some kind of accident and hurt yourself," Sirius added. "It'll only be for a few weeks, until you get your strength up, you know? Your first match isn't until the end of November, and you hardly need practice." Harry let out a breath, nodding his head.

"I guess I can see your point," he muttered. "Fine. Is that all? I'm supposed to be in Charms right now."

"You're excused from that class today," Dumbledore told him. "I'm sure your friends will take notes for you. Right now, we want you to go to your tower and get some sleep. Someone will wake you before supper."

~~~

Dear Draco,

I'm not angry with you. I was at first, but I'm not anymore. The restrictions they had on me were a little severe, but then they changed them, and they explained their reasoning for everything. Still, I'm kind of upset. Not with them, because of the restrictions and stuff. I'm upset with myself, for needing the restrictions in the first place. I don't have any idea what's wrong with me or what's going on in my head, and meanwhile, I'm causing people problems. I'm getting mad and yelling when I don't mean to, and I can't stop myself.

So I've decided that I can't see you for a while. I don't want to do anything that I don't mean, or that I'll regret. I don't want to hurt you. I just need some time to sort myself out, and I think that it's something I need to do alone.

I'm not breaking up with you. I love you more than anything, but I need time away from you, from everyone. I know that you don't understand what's going on with me either, but when I figure it out for myself, I promise I'll explain it to you.

I love you.

Harry

~~~

September 12, 1996

Am I going insane? I think I am. My head feels so mixed up. I can't sort one thought from the others. I can't think straight, ever, and that scares me.

One minute, I'm okay, and then the next, I scream at people, or I cry, and I just don't know what to do. Daddy and Dad try to understand and help, but what can they do? They keep an eye on me, and I eat and sleep enough. But that's not what's wrong with me.

What's wrong with me?

~~~

September 17, 1996

I had nightmares all night last night. About Voldemort killing Mum and Dad. About the Dursleys. I always thought the summer before fifth year was the first time Vernon did anything besides hit me. I had a nightmare last night that I knew was another memory. I was about eight years old, and he threw me against the bathroom wall, making me stand there with my back towards him. He ripped my pants down, and I felt the most excruciating pain in my arse. Even after I woke up, I felt the pain, and I felt so sick. I ran to the bathroom and threw up, then I just lay down on the floor and screamed and cried. My dorm mates didn't hear because I had a Silencing Charm on myself.

I still feel so sick. In my mind, in my stomach... My whole body feels sick. I can't stop having these nightmares. They're about everything bad that's ever happened to me, and I think it's killing me. It's driving me crazy.

It makes me want to kill myself sometimes.

Help me...