Disclaimer: The characters and places and stuff belong to JKR. But for now, they are at my mercy. *evil grin* I'll return them as soon as I'm finished…maybe.

This is the sequel to "What Is Happiness?" To understand this story, you must first read that one. It is located at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=946096

Nicky: Thanks much for the idea! *grin*

To other reviewers: Thanks!

Rest in Peace, Richard Harris. You will be missed.

In this chapter: A letter…An alert…Does Harry know what he's doing? And then a bit of sadness/sappiness, this time Remus/Sirius

~~~

October 12, 1996

To everyone I love:

I can't take it anymore. My mind is so mixed up that I can't tell what's real or not. I can't handle the pain. My mind hurts, my body hurts, and I'm so scared. I feel like my energy is slowly draining from my body. I feel like I'm dying, a little bit at a time. I'm never going to get better until I die.

So I will die.

To Dad, Daddy, Kayla, and Sean: I love you all. I'm sorry I have to leave you like this, but there is no other way. We tried. I haven't gotten any better, I've become worse. I'm sorry. Please forget about me after I'm gone. It does no good to dwell on the past.

To Professor Dumbledore: Thank you for all of the guidance you've given me since I was eleven. I learned many great lessons from you, and I truly appreciate them.

To Hermione: I love you like you're my sister, and I always will, even after I'm gone. Work hard, reach for the stars, and I know you'll get everything you've always wanted. Have fun being Head Girl next year.

To the Weasleys: You all were the first family I ever remember having. You welcomed me into your home with open arms, you took care of me, and you treated me like one of your own, and for that, I owe you the world. You have no idea how much that means to me. I love you all.

To Bill and George: Thank you for being the most amazing older brothers a kid can ask for. You've both helped me more than you know. I love you.

To Ron: I forgive you. Thank you for the many years of friendship.

To Severus and Katie: You, also, took me in as your own whenever I needed someone. Severus, I forgive you for the way you treated me throughout my first four years. You've more than made up for it. I love you both, and Catherine, too.

And finally, to Draco: You mean the world to me. You've been there for me through everything since the beginning of fifth year. I love you more than anything, and I'm sorry that I have to do this to you, but it's for the best. My love, my angel, my darling. My knight in shining armor. My heart is your heart, forever. I love you.

Again, I'm sorry. But we will all be better off after I'm gone. I love you. Goodbye.

Harry Potter

P.S.-Please don't put 'The Boy Who Lived' or anything like that on my headstone. I'm not worthy of any title.

~~~

In Egypt, a necklace belonging to a twenty-something red-haired man began to glow, and a message appeared in the air in front of him. His eyes widened, and he Apparated instantly to The Burrow. Ignoring the questions from his mother, Bill Weasley ran to the fireplace, threw some Floo powder in, and called up Remus Lupin.

"Find Harry," Bill said before Remus could speak. "Find him right now. He's going to try to kill himself."

Remus's face paled, and the connection was immediately broken.

~~~

"Albus!" Remus shouted, running into the Headmaster's office. He ignored the fact that there were several other teachers in the room. "Albus, use that locator to find Harry. Now."

Sensing the urgency of the situation, Albus removed a small, handheld remote with a screen from his desk. He spoke the name 'Harry Potter' and pressed a button, then waited to see what the locator brought up.

"He's in the passage to Honeydukes," Albus told Remus, who immediately ran out of the room.

Remus ran to the secret passage behind the one-eyed witch and lit his wand. The tunnel was dim, but Remus could see clearly. He listened closely with his sharpened werewolf senses, but he heard nothing.

Suddenly, he saw Harry. The boy was sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall, and he held a knife in his hand. He made tiny cuts on his exposed arm at first, but quickly made them bigger. Remus rushed to him just as Harry made a four-inch slit on the inside of his forearm.

"Harry!" Remus cried, throwing himself to his knees and snatching the knife away. He threw the knife to the ground and pulled his son into his arms.

"Daddy?" Harry's voice was tired and weak, and his eyes were unfocused as he looked up at his father. "Daddy, what's going on? Why do I hurt so bad? Why is everything getting dark?"

"Shush, Harry, try to stay awake, okay?" Remus choked out through his tears.

He lifted the boy up and began to run. As soon as he exited the passage, he sprinted up the stairs to the infirmary. By the time he got there, Harry was unconscious, and Madame Pomfrey, Dumbledore, and Sirius were all waiting for them.

Remus left Harry in Poppy's care, and she drew the curtain around Harry's bed. Sirius drew his husband into an embrace, and the two just cried for a few moments. Just as they pulled away, George and Bill burst into the room, followed by Draco and Severus. Bill handed Sirius a journal.

"That's the journal I gave to Harry," he said, softly. "I have it charmed so that if he writes anything like a suicide note, I would be alerted. As soon as my necklace started glowing, the note appeared in front of me, and I Apparated to Mum and Dad's house and called Remus."

"He was in the Honeydukes passage," Remus whispered, folding his arms across his chest and staring at the floor. "He cut his wrist open. When I got to him and stopped him, he looked at me, but it was like he didn't really see me. He was so unfocused. Then he was asking me questions, like he didn't know what was going on..."

"Remus, Sirius," Poppy said as she stepped from behind the curtain. "The cuts healed easily, and he's awake. He said he feels sick, so I gave him an Anti-Nausea potion. He wants you."

Remus and Sirius stepped behind the curtain and sat on either side of Harry's bed, each holding one of his hands. Harry sat up and looked at them, confused, for a moment. Then his eyes began to focus, and then it was like recognition dawned on him.

"What happened?" Harry murmured, tiredly.

"Don't you remember?" Remus asked, softly. Harry shook his head. "You tried to kill yourself, Harry." Harry's eyes widened, and he shook his head.

"No...no, I wouldn't do that..." he insisted. He glanced between his fathers. "Would I?"

"You did, Harry," Sirius told him, gently. "Daddy found you in a secret passage. You slit your wrist."

At this, Harry's face paled, and his upper body swayed a little. Sirius moved to sit on the bed and held Harry steady. Harry curled up in Sirius's arms, and Sirius held him as though he were a small child.

"But I--I would've remembered, right?" Harry protested, weakly. "If I did that, I would have remembered..."

"With how mixed up your head's been, it's no surprise you don't remember," Sirius murmured. Harry laid his head on Sirius's chest and closed his eyes.

"I feel sick, Dad..."

"Shh, sweetheart, I know," Sirius said, soothingly, like he would with Kayla. He rubbed Harry's back and ran his fingers through the boy's hair. "Poppy gave you an Anti-Nausea Potion so you don't get sick, all right? Relax."

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled. "I still don't think I'd try to kill myself... But if you said I did, I believe you. I'm sorry..."

Remus hesitated, then handed Harry his journal. It was opened to the last entry, the suicide note, and Harry read it. He paled even more, and he dropped the book as his hands began to shake.

"I didn't-- Did I write this?" Harry whispered, mostly to himself. He brought his hands up to his face, and tears sprang to his eyes. "What the hell is going on? I'm so confused..."

"Oh, Harry," Remus sighed, reaching over to rest his hand on his son's hair. "Dad and I are doing everything we can to help you and figure out what's wrong with you. I'm so sorry you have to suffer like this."

"Do you want to go home for a few days, buddy?" Sirius asked, softly. "I'm sure Poppy will let you out, as long as you're with us." Harry nodded, and Sirius kissed the top of his head. "All right. I'll go out and talk to her. You stay in here with Daddy."

Sirius emerged from behind the curtains and was immediately bombarded by stares from those waiting in there. He pulled Poppy aside.

"He doesn't remember anything," Sirius sighed. "He's so confused, Poppy. He swears he wouldn't try to kill himself, and he didn't remember writing the note."

"There's got to be Dark Magic involved in all of this," Poppy commented, softly. "But I couldn't detect any."

"He hasn't been the same since before he went to Diagon Alley with George," Sirius added. "He was crowded by a group of people, and he panicked, badly. He hasn't been the same since... Remus and I were hoping you'd let him go, so that we could take him home for a few days. Please? We'll keep our eyes on him, we won't let him out of our sight."

~~~

That night, Harry lay in bed with his fathers, too scared of himself to sleep by himself. Sean and Kayla were staying overnight at a friend's house, so it was just Harry, Sirius, and Remus that night. Sirius and Remus lay on either side of their son, each with a protective arm around him. Harry was asleep already, but Sirius and Remus were awake and talking quietly over Harry's head.

"I remember when he was a baby," Remus murmured, smiling as Harry cuddled closer to his chest. "Every time he'd lay down with us, he'd always cuddle with me more than you."

"But before he fell asleep, he wouldn't go anywhere near you," Sirius shot back, chuckling. "He'd always stay close to me." Remus sighed and gently rubbed Harry's back.

"Back then, we never even considered the possibility of things happening the way they did," he said, softly. "Never thought James and Lily would be killed... Never thought you would be arrested... Never thought Harry would grow up the way he did... The only thing I considered before all of that happened was me and you, getting married, having some kids..."

"There's one thing that happened right," Sirius agreed.

"But it didn't," Remus protested, sadly. "We were supposed to get married when we were in our mid-twenties, not mid-thirties. We weren't supposed to miss out on twelve years of our life together. And I love Harry, but he wasn't supposed to be our son..."

"I know, love, but we can't dwell on the way things should have been," Sirius told him. "We need to focus on the way things are. And that means taking care of Harry and helping him beat whatever's wrong with him."

"I know," Remus sighed, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "But I just can't help thinking of how things would be now if Lily and James were still alive. I miss them, Siri."

"I miss them, too, sweetheart. But seeing Harry every day, it's like they're still alive, and I plan on keeping it that way. If he dies, then it's not only our son dying, but Lily and James will be dying all over again. I'm not letting that happen."