A/N: Hiyee everyone! Once again I know it's been tragically long since I've updated this story. To be honest I think this story is slowly dying since I've been working on it for soo un godly long. But I've decided I'll continue to post what I have left of it, and hopefully I'll be able to finish it...I dunno though ^^;;;; I'm working on a brief prequel to this story written from Matt's perspective, so look for that soon!

Oooh yeah! And Much thanks to ssj_hotaru (who's also a very rockin writer! Go read her stuff now!) for all her great help and support!!

Please R/R I live off reviews! Much love too all!!

Standard Disclaimer: ugh just read the first chapters.... ~,~

Part 3

The nights we spent on Matt's balcony are memories I will cherish in my heart forever. On those nights, the stars were ours seemingly almost in our reach as we sat with our legs dangling off the edge enjoying the feel of walking on air.

I was in a dreamlike state when I had first stepped into Matt's apartment building and walked with him up the creaky stairs. We reached his door at the end of a long hallway and I watched as Matt played with his keys a bit in trying to get the door unlocked.

As I slipped off my sandals I looked around the quiet apartment. It was small and cramped with awkward looking couches, a television with a coat hanger antenna, an oddly shaped coffee table covered with newspapers and coffee mugs and an overflowing ashtray, and a dinning room table looking no more sturdy than a card table—in fact I think it was a card table. The smell of the place was pleasant though. Pizza and coffee and a hint of cigarette smoke whirled in the air as a cold air conditioner above the front door whirled and mixed it all together. Strangely enough I felt at home even though it was far different from my own.

"It's a mess, but Dad and I aren't exactly the cleanest guys in the world." Matt laughed softly and tossed his keys onto the dinning table.

I smiled as he turned back to me a content look on his face as he slowly moved over to me and stroked my cheek and lips so softly goose bumps went up my arms. In my mind I kept asking if any of this was really real. Oh please, I silently begged, if this isn't real I never want to go back to reality.

"Here, let me show you something." He took my hand and gently pulled me across the living room over to a glass sliding door, which led us out onto his balcony.

Seven stories up the city of Odaiba stretched out in front of us like twinkling stars trapped on earth. Cars whizzed by on the street below, the sound of honking and voices of people could be heard and the smell of gasoline drifted in the air but was blown away by a light breeze that smelled sweet from the flowers which hung nearby on his neighbors balcony.

This was our place where we talked of everything yet nothing at all; where Matt would write me endless songs that we would both sing or that sometimes would make me smile or even want to cry. Even watching him gently strum his guitar made me feel that way. He was beautiful, his music; everything was so beautiful I could hardly stand it at times.

We would laugh about the old days, about the things we've said to each other, and even about the simple lame things that happened everyday. His laugh was even more beautiful than his voice or the music he'd play, it was soft and smooth almost like the sounds of a flowing stream, like a tiny piece of heaven being released through him. It was my favorite sound in the whole world, all the more precious because he would laugh because of something I'd say or do.

Matt's father worked most of the day and even throughout most of the night, this gave us the freedom to stay out on Matt's balcony as long as we pleased even into the early hours of the morning.

"Yeah my fathers' a workaholic." He said dryly when I asked about his dad. "He's been that way for a long time, ever since he and my mom got divorced."

"Does it hurt?" I asked softly, leaning up against the cold bars that kept me from falling. He turned his head and tried to smile at me.

"I'm used to it," he sighed off handedly, his voice heavy and deep and casual all at the same time. "My dad's never really been the lovey type anyway, I know he cares and all he just really sucks at showing it. I think that's why my mother left him, and why T.K is with her. I used to hate her for that: taking him away. It was easy to do so since well I didn't even know her, I still don't. Whenever we see each other she only talks to me very politely, you know the way you talk to people you really don't know you just are familiar with their face. I guess she doesn't want to get too close, I think it hurts her.

"T.K just adores her though, that's the only reason I try. Then again, T.K loves everybody, he's lucky that way, and since he was raised by her, she can't be that bad of a person if he turned out as well as he did.

"I used to wonder what it would have been like if maybe things were just a little different between my parents, or if I had been with my mom instead of Dad. Ironic though, isn't it? I vowed a long time ago I wouldn't ever be like my dad."

Matt laughed bitterly, his knuckles turning white as he tightly clutched the rail. My heart ached for his shredded one. My beautiful Love how is it that he has suffered so much and I have been so blessed to have life so good? How, as a child, could I go on living in pure bliss, ignorant to most pain in general, all that time Matt grew up in sadness? Why didn't I try to comfort him so long ago?

I slid myself so that I was kneeling behind him and I gently wrapped my arms over his shoulders and pulled him to me. He lay his head down in my lap; his eyes glistened while he gazed heavenward to the starry sky that too witnessed his story. A part of me wondered how I had become so honored to be able to hear it, when I knew that not even Tai or any of the others had.

I lowered my head down closer to his and gazed understandingly into his eyes. Matt hated sympathy, though in the pit of my heart I felt so much pain for him; I hid it with a smile as though nothing was really wrong. My hair created a thin pink veil around our faces hiding us from the eyes of the world. He smiled lazily and contently up at me, his eyes scanned my face as though searching to find an answer there.

"I know you wonder what things would have been like if only they were different." I whispered softly starring directly into his eyes. "But that is what makes up you. And I think everything about you is wonderful."

I stroked his cheeks lightly with the tips of my fingers, feeling the tiny traces of stubble along his chin, waiting patiently for a response while he reflected on my words.

He didn't say anything, instead the sweetest most beautiful smile I had ever seen formed on his lips. His smile reflected all the emotions of love and pain I had seen in his eyes; such as sweet smile not even I had expected to see it on my loves face.

"Matt…" I breathed my eyes misting. "You did keep your promise to yourself. Your not like your father at all."

"Thank you." He murmured, as his hand reached up and pulled my head gently down to his soft lips in a kiss. A feeling that I had thought I lost in my childhood filled me suddenly. A feeling that reminded me of chocolate, of sunsets, of a warm embrace, and of toasted marshmallows. And Matt was the only one who could have brought it all back.

I wanted to become poetry, to become music just so I could find away to tell him how wonderful I thought of him, and most of all, how much I loved him. It had become an undeniable truth that Matt was the one I had longed for all my life. And no matter what happened, he would own my heart for all time.

The end of each week was always my favorite time for it was the only time Matt and I could spend together in our spot. In school we saw very little of each other for neither of us were in the same class. But when the end of the week would come, I'd run to Odaiba Park to meet him under the tree where we first kissed. As soon as he'd see me, his face would take on a whole new light and I would run to throw myself in those arms I would dream of when we were apart.

"So who else do you hold in your arms while I'm not around?" I'd tease gazing coyly up into his ocean deep eyes while he'd scowl. He'd then shower my lips in fiery cinnamon candy kisses, each one reassuring me that there was no one else only me. All of our problems melted away whenever we were together—at least they did temporarily.

Time had flown by, as it often does when one is in love. I didn't even realize that I hadn't spent any of my free time with anyone else but Matt, not even Sora. It never occurred to me that Tai called less and less, Izzy never offered to help me study anymore, Jyou never asked to go out for coffee just to have a interesting conversation, and Kari and Takeru no longer secretly asked me for advice when the other wasn't around. I hadn't even told any of them that Matt and I had a relationship, though I guessed they all knew. How could they not? Matt and I spent every free second we could with each other. Matt's band was really making a big hit across numerous clubs in town, so his schedule was full of practices and rehearsals. My heart ached every time we had to say goodbye, for it would always be a few days till we could see each other again.

Sora finally caught me one day after school as I said goodbye to Matt when he went to his band's practice. She smiled brightly when she saw me but her eyes looked sad and hesitant.

"Mimi!" She called before he ran over to me, her hair bounced around her face that was slightly rosy from the cold winter air outside. "Hey! I feel like I haven't had a single moment to just talk with you in forever!"

I giggled, oddly feeling that awkwardness like when you stepped on some bubblegum and keep walking with each step clinging to the pavement. I talked to her like we were long lost friends, which caused me to wonder, as I stood a few feet apart from her, if it had really been that long; we were after all in the same class.

"I know, that's so weird too! We see each other every day even!"

Sora brightened. "Are you busy? I mean I wouldn't want to get in the way of your plans or anything, since you and Matt seem to have a lot of things going on and all."

I noticed she didn't look at me when she mentioned Matt, she looked down at the ground as she toyed with some of her hair around her fingers. For some reason an odd feeling of irritation flashed through me. Sora had been my friend for what seemed like forever. She was always been the kind of friend who if you'd forget your lunch when you were a kid, would always give you her cookies or something else to share. She's the kind of person who, even now, stands up for those she loves and will take care of them no matter what. And now, my best friend who I had told all my secrets too as we grew up together, was standing feet away from me, and was reluctant to ask to hang out. I never even told her about Matt.

I smiled sadly as I thought about all the times Sora had done so much for me and looked across at her, her eyes looked hopeful.

"Sora, I'd love to hang with you now. There is so much I have to tell you."

Sora and I ended up sitting across from each other at a small cramped table next to a foggy window painted with snow covered trees and ribbons for the upcoming holiday season in a busy coffee house. We luxuriously inhaled deeply the sweet scents of the different blends of coffee, cakes, muffins and wafts of cinnamon, brown sugar and chocolate cream. We warmed our chilled hands against the warm mugs of steaming coffee, each filled with flavored cream of hazelnut and sugar.

"I still can't believe you and Yamato have been together all this time." Sora cooed in a dreamy voice as she ran her long, painted green, nailed index finger lazily around the edge of her cup. "The whole thing is just so romantic Mimi, you're both so perfect for each other."

I smiled thoughtfully and leaned into my coffee too take a careful sip from my cup, wondering if she was right. Though as I thought I couldn't think of anyone who I would have rather been with than Matt.

"So tell me all the details! When did he first tell you he loved you?" Sora asked leaning in closer, crossing her long pink legging covered legs; her arms hugged herself while her eyes shone big with romantic curiosity.

I blinked taken a little aback by her question and not really sure how to answer it. Matt still hadn't told me.

"Well," I started, "He hasn't exactly said yet."

Sora looked at me bewildered and leaned back into her seat. "You mean he's never told you? I don't get it then Mimi, aren't you worried or scared that he doesn't? I mean I think I'd be super freaked if I'd been with someone that long and they never said they loved me."

I bit my lip and thought on this as raised my cup to take another sip of my coffee. It was true that Matt had never spoken out loud that he loved me, even though time and time I again I told him.

"Hum, well then Mimi." Sora cooed changing the subject. "When are you going to tell every one hmm?" She giggled mischievously. "Or can I announce it for you?"

I felt a red blush creep up slightly on my cheeks, Sora just giggled at me more.

"You know Mimi, I'm throwing another classic Christmas party this year, and everyone is going to be there so you could announce it then!" Sora beamed. I cringed at the thought of just how Matt was going to take this.

At Sora's Christmas party, I slowly began to patch up the small tears that had come into my friendships. With much embarrassment and convincing, Matt, or more like I, let it be subtly known to everyone that we were together. Though no one seemed too shocked. Jyou's exact words had been "well it's about time." And T.K was more than overjoyed.

"Wow, it's about time my brother finally got himself a girl. We were getting worried."

"You're one to talk." Matt muttered. T.K blushed sending a nervous look over to where Kari was standing to see if she had heard. She hadn't.

Everyone else seemed happy for us and party ran on smoothly. Matt and I danced our cares away to the Christmas music Sora blasted throughout her apartment; and I had foolishly thought that every thing would finally come together, that there would be no more problems. Matt spun me around and around in circles under the bright silvery lights Sora had hung on the ceiling. For some reason I suddenly realized Tai hadn't been there when I told everyone. When the room finished spinning and Matt pulled me back to him, we swayed back and forth to a slow jazzy version of "Have yourself a Merry Christmas." That is when I saw Him. I stared over Matt's shoulder as he strut in the door, soon to be greeted by Sora who skipped over to him in her short 20's style red velvet dress and embraced him in a playful hug. I knew it wouldn't be long before she or someone would make an innocent comment to him like "Aren't Matt and Mimi a beautiful couple?" I cringed inwardly at the thought.

I knew immediately when Tai had found out for even as I watched he suddenly whirled around the room trying to find where I was. When our finally eyes met, a pin could have stabbed thousands of tiny holes in my heart from just the look of agony written on his face. I had to look away to stop the tears that were beginning to form in my eyes.

Matt looked over my face looking slightly confused and concerned, I didn't even realizes I had stopped dancing; he nudged me softly with his shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

I shrugged my shoulders and forced my tears back into my eyes before I looked up and gave him a reassuring smile. "Oh sorry. I just got distracted. I'm fine, just happy that everything is going so well." My eyes were sore and from the back of my throat I thought I could taste the irony of those words.

He smiled, his hand secretively, slid slowly over to mine and took it in his warm fingers. I tried to sink into the comfort his hand holding mine gave me, but as I saw Tai work his way over, I grew sick with worry. I noticed as Tai came closer, the look in eyes had changed from fury to a glazed happy look.

"Yo Matt, Mimi!" He smiled extending his hand to Matt. "Man I was totally surprised to hear about you two. Crazy." His eyes shifted back and forth between us and lingered momentarily on me. I could see the pain spreading through his eyes like an oil spill. He looked back on Matt, his voice sounded less enthused.

"Conrad's though, I'm happy for ya man." He shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled happily at the two of us, more at Matt actually; he didn't look at me again.

Matt smiled back but looked bewildered at him. "Yeah thanks." Matt said coolly and turned back to me.

Tai cut in again, shoving himself between Matt and I. "Hey Matt, it's okay that I steal for Mimi for a dance right? Thanks a bunch!" He took my hands before waiting for a reply and whisked me off into the mob of happy dancers. I just barely got a peek of Matt's confused expression over Tai's shoulder.

"So when did this happen?" Tai mumbled just barely loud enough for me to make out. His brows were furrowed slightly together and his eyes darted around the room never looking at me. He held me awkwardly yet fairly pressed close up against him, his hand felt slightly damp but no less than mine.

"What do you mean?" I asked dumbly, my lip quivered and I had to try my best to swallow back the tears that wanted so badly to let fall on my cheeks. I was glad I couldn't see his eyes for if I did I knew I wouldn't be able to hold them in any longer. I never knew someone else's pain could hurt so much.

"You know what I mean." He bit out, still not looking at me. "Mimi why? Why didn't you tell me or anyone for so long?"

"I didn't know how long it would last…" I sniffled and looked up at the ceiling. The lights looked blurry.

Tai scoffed as if all of this was just too much for him to handle.

"Why him? Out of anyone why did you choose him and…"

"Not you?" I finished sadly, forcing myself to look at him. His eyes finally looked into mine and I wondered if he was crying inside. His usual cheery brown eyes were almost unrecognizable. I longed to do anything to take away his pain, to kiss away every single ache that tore at him. To bring back that happy carefree smile that brightened anyone no matter how low they felt. Though it finally hit me that it wasn't my place to do that now. I'm such a fool. I always knew how he felt, but how was I supposed to know he loved me that much?

"Mimi…" He sighed and pulled me all the more closer to him as if this were his last chance to ever hold me again. "Do you love him?"

A tear slipped down my cheek. Why did he have to ask that?

"Yes." I whispered closing my eyes for I knew that that was the final sting to his already tortured heart.

"Pity me Mimi." He sighed. "For I don't know if I'll ever loose this feeling for you."

"Please don't…" I choked out, when a part of me wanted to scream at him to forget me completely and break away from his tight embrace. It angered me that I was feeling guilty for not telling him, for being with Matt. I wanted to lash out at myself even, why did this bother me so much? Everything between us had been over, its history, just that. But his feelings scared me; and that nagging thought in my head wouldn't go away that if it weren't for Matt maybe I would have ended up with Tai.

I wanted to run from him, to hide in Matt's secure arms and leave him to foolishly suffer on his own; for it was his own fault he wanted to keep these feelings, not mine. But no matter what the logic in my head told me, I couldn't do that to him; so I just stayed there and let him hold me close against him, at least until the song ended.

Cold slushy rain flew down from the sky that night, the steady beat of rain blended with the sound of the slow steady drum of Matt's heartbeat as I laid, curled up with my head resting on his chest, on the cozy over stuffed couch in his living room. The heater hummed on full blast as it tried to drown out the draft that came in from the glass door to the dripping balcony where Matt and I hadn't been in a long time.

The party had left me feeling drained and exhausted instead of refreshed. I closed my eyes and almost everything seemed to dissolve away except for the warmth that radiated through Matt's sweater, and the slight movement of his chest when he breathed.

"Mimi?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled and rolled over lazily resting my chin on his chest and gazed into the two eyes of blue heaven that stared into me.

"What was with Tai tonight? He didn't look very happy when he found out about us."

I sighed softly, I had hoped he didn't notice but I guessed Matt noticed a lot more than anyone else since he was never too busy talking. I wanted to avoid telling him in fear that Tai's and his friendship would be destroyed. Maybe it was inevitable.

"He loves me." I said softly and gazed sadly into his eyes. Matt sighed heavily and looked away in thought. I continued studying his face waiting patiently for him to reply.

"Mimi," He finally looked back into my eyes and answered softly. "Is this what you want?"

"Matt, there is nothing more in the world I could possibly want more than you." I buried my face into his chest and clung to him as his arms snaked around my waist and back pulling me as close as possible against him.

This is where I belonged. Poor Tai. I didn't want to hurt him. He'd get over me eventually wouldn't he? What would happen if he didn't? Would I have ruined our friendship forever? I don't want to loose him; I don't want to loose Matt; or anyone. Is this my fault? Did I lead Tai on? I wish we'd all be happy…

"Matt dun ever leave okay?" I murmured sleepily against him. I felt his fingers gently pull the loose hair that fallen onto my cheek, away from my face. I could hear him speak though I could only hear the rhythmic beat of his voice, I couldn't make any sense of his words, for I had already sunken into the dark oblivion of sleep. Somewhere in the echo of my mind a warm feeling from his words lightened every space and corner of my heart as sunk slowly into the dream land.

"I love you."

Did he really whisper it, those words I had so longed to hear? Yet in my sleeping state I only saw Tai's face as those words echoed over and over in my mind "I love you."