Disclaimer: These aren't my characters, this isn't my story, I'm just
telling parts of it someone else forgot. JJ, ABC, and Bad Robot own them
all and when I'm done playing with them I promise to put them away.
Note: Hi, sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, it was a very busy week! I know it's short and I'm sorry. I'm actually working on another one now that will lead us up to the end of Salvation, can't wait to hear what you guys have to say!
Chapter Five: Sleepless
The rain outside has finally stopped, but the storm has not calmed. In the last five hours, I've come to despise my ceiling. White, barren, and unchanging, it stares down at me. My bedroom window brought no consolation; just a reminder that though I'd been begging, time had still not stopped. A few times I rolled over to stare at myself in the mirror, hoping to find an answer in my own eyes, but they brought nothing more than panic. The eyes looking back at me were lifeless.
Sydney is alone again. She won't talk to anyone. She might find some kind of reassurance in Vaughn's arms, maybe this time she'll go to Will, but she won't talk. As much as Sydney wishes to believe that she and I are different, the truth is, we are very much alike. She finds it nearly impossible to trust anybody in her life. I've never trusted anyone, not since Laura. So she will go to him, whoever it may be, and she will cry. But her tears will not betray her; her silence is the only thing she can control now.
I've been lying here all night. The silence threatens me, mocks me with its simplicity. The early hues of morning are peeking through my window. Normally I would have been up hours ago, but this day is one I'd much rather bypass altogether. I have answers for her; I have lies too. I have everything that she wants to hear. The problem is, I have them. I could tell her the grass is green and she'd check to make sure.
I force myself out of bed, the numbness that was once in my fingers seems to have spread to my entire body, seeping into the crevices of my skin and embedding itself deep within; I feel nothing. There is no more raging conscience or creeping inner voice. I wonder if my soul has left me too.
I pull on slacks, find a shirt and drag my jacket on clumsily over. I straighten my tie, wondering if it's the one I wore the day before. I'm due for an SD-6 briefing in an hour; Sydney will be there. I have so many things to say, it's how many of them she will let me get to before cutting me off. I know she doesn't want to hear my words, no matter how I present them to her. And if she won't listen, I'll do whatever it takes to persuade her otherwise. She is all I have left; I have nothing but her to lose.
***
The briefing went just as quickly and smoothly as always, but my thoughts were somewhere else. My daughter sat directly across from me. All I could do was wonder how I would start our next conversation, God knew she wouldn't.
"We should talk."
"We have nothing to talk about."
I could see the rage in her eyes. She truly wanted to have nothing to do with me, but I couldn't let that stop me. I would convince my daughter that I loved her more than any selfish need or desire. I would persuade her of my undying guilt at my failures as a father--as her father. I've suffered many losses in my career, and consequentially, in my life as well, but I will not lose my daughter because of actions I took in protecting her.
Note: Hi, sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, it was a very busy week! I know it's short and I'm sorry. I'm actually working on another one now that will lead us up to the end of Salvation, can't wait to hear what you guys have to say!
Chapter Five: Sleepless
The rain outside has finally stopped, but the storm has not calmed. In the last five hours, I've come to despise my ceiling. White, barren, and unchanging, it stares down at me. My bedroom window brought no consolation; just a reminder that though I'd been begging, time had still not stopped. A few times I rolled over to stare at myself in the mirror, hoping to find an answer in my own eyes, but they brought nothing more than panic. The eyes looking back at me were lifeless.
Sydney is alone again. She won't talk to anyone. She might find some kind of reassurance in Vaughn's arms, maybe this time she'll go to Will, but she won't talk. As much as Sydney wishes to believe that she and I are different, the truth is, we are very much alike. She finds it nearly impossible to trust anybody in her life. I've never trusted anyone, not since Laura. So she will go to him, whoever it may be, and she will cry. But her tears will not betray her; her silence is the only thing she can control now.
I've been lying here all night. The silence threatens me, mocks me with its simplicity. The early hues of morning are peeking through my window. Normally I would have been up hours ago, but this day is one I'd much rather bypass altogether. I have answers for her; I have lies too. I have everything that she wants to hear. The problem is, I have them. I could tell her the grass is green and she'd check to make sure.
I force myself out of bed, the numbness that was once in my fingers seems to have spread to my entire body, seeping into the crevices of my skin and embedding itself deep within; I feel nothing. There is no more raging conscience or creeping inner voice. I wonder if my soul has left me too.
I pull on slacks, find a shirt and drag my jacket on clumsily over. I straighten my tie, wondering if it's the one I wore the day before. I'm due for an SD-6 briefing in an hour; Sydney will be there. I have so many things to say, it's how many of them she will let me get to before cutting me off. I know she doesn't want to hear my words, no matter how I present them to her. And if she won't listen, I'll do whatever it takes to persuade her otherwise. She is all I have left; I have nothing but her to lose.
***
The briefing went just as quickly and smoothly as always, but my thoughts were somewhere else. My daughter sat directly across from me. All I could do was wonder how I would start our next conversation, God knew she wouldn't.
"We should talk."
"We have nothing to talk about."
I could see the rage in her eyes. She truly wanted to have nothing to do with me, but I couldn't let that stop me. I would convince my daughter that I loved her more than any selfish need or desire. I would persuade her of my undying guilt at my failures as a father--as her father. I've suffered many losses in my career, and consequentially, in my life as well, but I will not lose my daughter because of actions I took in protecting her.