[[Disclaimer: I own nothing but Jamie]]
(a/n: sorry that it's taking forever to update! I wish I could do update more but school is getting in the way!!)
[[Chapter 7]]
[[I Can't Let Go]]
I had that dream again. The one of me and Jamie running through the halls of Beaufort High School. I kept taking into consideration what Angelica said about it having a significance. What could it mean? I didn't feel like going to class today so I just layed on my bed listening to a rock mix CD that I've had for a while. I soon fell asleep, and I didn't wake up until Jacob entered the room.
"Landon? Landon!" I heard his voice call me, but I didn't feel like responding. He came next to me and started pushing at my body until I finally spoke.
"What?!" I said groggily.
"Hey Bro. Aren't you supposed to be in class or something?"
"Supposed to..I'm not though."
"Why not? It doesn't seem like you to skip class."
"What are you talking about? I missed to first week of school!"
"Yah, but that was to see your wife's grave, not to stay home like bum." I finally sat up and looked at the sarcastic look on his face.
"I'm just not feeling well." I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door in his face. It was more then obvious that he wasn't pleased with my behavior, but still. I guess the dream was really getting to me. I sat on the sink and got my cell phone that was charging in the outlit. I flipped through the numbers on my phone until I reached the name 'Eric'. I looked at it for a while and pressed the send button. I put up the phone to my ear, than heard a very familiar voice.
"Talk to me!"
"Eric?"
"Landon??" I could tell in his voice that he was very surprised to hear from me.
"What's up man!?"
"Hey dude..I'm going crazy over here at LA. I didn't go to school today."
"Why not man? You know Jamie wouldn't like that." I kept it quiet for a while but I decided that I wanted to tell him about the dream.
"So what do you think it means Landon?"
"I don't know. I've been spending my day trying to figure that out. For some reason I thought you might know. You were always good at that interpreting stuff."
"Yah, but this is about you and your wife. Maybe it's meant for you to find out, not me."
"You're right. I just can't get my mind straight enough to find out what it's about."
"All I can say is that I think you can't let go."
"What is that supposed to mean Eric?"
"I gotta go Landon. Me and Dean are going over to Clay's house. I'll talk to you later dude."
"Alright..bye, and thanks man."
"No prob, call me whenever you need me."
"Of course I will bro.." I hung up the phone and tried to get back to my bed without a talk with Jacob. Of course, that didn't go according to plan.
"Who were you talking to?"
"One of my friends from back home."
"Oh.." He just stood their for a while and looked at me laying on my bed. "Dude, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem."
"Yes you do! Do you know that I've been your roommate for about 2 months and I still know nothing about you?! You're always so secretive. I don't get it."
"You'll never understand Jacob! You weren't there! You haven't gone what I went through!"
"Neither has Angelica, but at least you let her into your life!"
"She has been through what I've been through! Her father died in North Carolina! She knows the pain! What do you know!?" I stood up and pushed him close to the door. He went up to my face with complete hatred in his eyes.
"If you talked to me then you might know that my sister died last year of an overdose of steroids. You might know that in ways I could be exactly like you. But you don't know! So don't blame it on me that you never got to know me!" He walked quickly out of the room and slammed the door hard.
All that seemed to come out of my mouth was, "I'm an idiot." I hit myself in the head and realized how ignorant I was to all of this. I didn't know what to do. Once again, I just went back to bed and closed my eyes and thought about me and Eric's conversation. What did he mean when he said that I couldn't let go? What does that have anything to do with the dream? Suddenly it all came to me. I ran after Jamie, well the memory of her. I took all my strength to catch her, because I didn't want to let her go. When I finally caught her she said that I had her, and that I didn't have to go running after her anymore. I can't let go of her, because I don't want to. I guess she wants me to stop chasing after her memory, and go on with my life, because no matter what, she'll still be with me. I guess I've been trying to run after her all this time that I never really concentrated on me. That's why I went to the grave yard. That's why I can't sleep at night. I can't let go.
(a/n: sorry that it's taking forever to update! I wish I could do update more but school is getting in the way!!)
[[Chapter 7]]
[[I Can't Let Go]]
I had that dream again. The one of me and Jamie running through the halls of Beaufort High School. I kept taking into consideration what Angelica said about it having a significance. What could it mean? I didn't feel like going to class today so I just layed on my bed listening to a rock mix CD that I've had for a while. I soon fell asleep, and I didn't wake up until Jacob entered the room.
"Landon? Landon!" I heard his voice call me, but I didn't feel like responding. He came next to me and started pushing at my body until I finally spoke.
"What?!" I said groggily.
"Hey Bro. Aren't you supposed to be in class or something?"
"Supposed to..I'm not though."
"Why not? It doesn't seem like you to skip class."
"What are you talking about? I missed to first week of school!"
"Yah, but that was to see your wife's grave, not to stay home like bum." I finally sat up and looked at the sarcastic look on his face.
"I'm just not feeling well." I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door in his face. It was more then obvious that he wasn't pleased with my behavior, but still. I guess the dream was really getting to me. I sat on the sink and got my cell phone that was charging in the outlit. I flipped through the numbers on my phone until I reached the name 'Eric'. I looked at it for a while and pressed the send button. I put up the phone to my ear, than heard a very familiar voice.
"Talk to me!"
"Eric?"
"Landon??" I could tell in his voice that he was very surprised to hear from me.
"What's up man!?"
"Hey dude..I'm going crazy over here at LA. I didn't go to school today."
"Why not man? You know Jamie wouldn't like that." I kept it quiet for a while but I decided that I wanted to tell him about the dream.
"So what do you think it means Landon?"
"I don't know. I've been spending my day trying to figure that out. For some reason I thought you might know. You were always good at that interpreting stuff."
"Yah, but this is about you and your wife. Maybe it's meant for you to find out, not me."
"You're right. I just can't get my mind straight enough to find out what it's about."
"All I can say is that I think you can't let go."
"What is that supposed to mean Eric?"
"I gotta go Landon. Me and Dean are going over to Clay's house. I'll talk to you later dude."
"Alright..bye, and thanks man."
"No prob, call me whenever you need me."
"Of course I will bro.." I hung up the phone and tried to get back to my bed without a talk with Jacob. Of course, that didn't go according to plan.
"Who were you talking to?"
"One of my friends from back home."
"Oh.." He just stood their for a while and looked at me laying on my bed. "Dude, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem."
"Yes you do! Do you know that I've been your roommate for about 2 months and I still know nothing about you?! You're always so secretive. I don't get it."
"You'll never understand Jacob! You weren't there! You haven't gone what I went through!"
"Neither has Angelica, but at least you let her into your life!"
"She has been through what I've been through! Her father died in North Carolina! She knows the pain! What do you know!?" I stood up and pushed him close to the door. He went up to my face with complete hatred in his eyes.
"If you talked to me then you might know that my sister died last year of an overdose of steroids. You might know that in ways I could be exactly like you. But you don't know! So don't blame it on me that you never got to know me!" He walked quickly out of the room and slammed the door hard.
All that seemed to come out of my mouth was, "I'm an idiot." I hit myself in the head and realized how ignorant I was to all of this. I didn't know what to do. Once again, I just went back to bed and closed my eyes and thought about me and Eric's conversation. What did he mean when he said that I couldn't let go? What does that have anything to do with the dream? Suddenly it all came to me. I ran after Jamie, well the memory of her. I took all my strength to catch her, because I didn't want to let her go. When I finally caught her she said that I had her, and that I didn't have to go running after her anymore. I can't let go of her, because I don't want to. I guess she wants me to stop chasing after her memory, and go on with my life, because no matter what, she'll still be with me. I guess I've been trying to run after her all this time that I never really concentrated on me. That's why I went to the grave yard. That's why I can't sleep at night. I can't let go.