!WARNING!: The devil is again used in a humorous way in this story- again because this connects to The Turkey Which the Devil Could Not Contain. If that might offend you don't read ahead. It's not my fault that I don't respect the devil, but I was never given the chance to learn about him. Don't say I didn't warn you.
I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm a little depressed, so I'm sorry if this is crap.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Squaresoft, and I don't make any money or intend to break any laws. I only own Edgar.
Yes, I do need to work on technical paragraphs. Maybe one day I'll be in the mood to re-write this entire thing… LOL!!!
The Disease Which the Devil Could Not Overcome
Following The Turkey Which the Devil Could Not Contain
Everything was peaceful in Seifer's residence, until a deep rumbling began.
"RAIJIN- IDIOT."
"Well I'm hungry, ya know!"
"IT WAS ME YOU IDIOT!" The devil yelled bursting through the wall, about ten times bigger then he usually was. "CAN'T YOU EVEN TELL WHEN YOUR OWN STOMACH IS GRUMBLING!"
Raijin started to cry. Though before Fujin would have had to pat his back and look away then make it through the hugs, Edgar could now comfort poor wittle Raijin instead.
"YOU STOLE MY TURKEY! NOW I WANT HIM BACK!" The devil screamed. It looked bad… until Fujin jumped up and poked him in the stomach.
"IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" She screamed, shaking the walls. A large clump of the attic fell on to his head, and the ceiling he had broke through crumbled around him.
And just when she was supposed to finish him off, she fainted from the effort.
***
Fujin's eyes opened slowly. No… How could this be? How could she have been so week?
The first thing she saw was six bright eyes. Did they really care about her that much? No… wait, it was only two. She was just a little dizzy…
Edgar was easy to distinguish, even though it was still blurry. His feathers had grown dark, long, and needle-like, but his eyes shone through the black blur.
He let out a low shaky squawk.
"You sound like you haven't talked in awhile…" Fujin whispered as she stroked his feathers and smiled.
It felt like she had been sleeping for days. And her eyes hurt. Why is there always a fucking light there when people wake up? She'd been sleeping for a long time and her eyes were sensitive.
Fujin's mental 'to do' list:
-Kick the ass of who ever put that light there
-Win Seifer's love
NO WAIT!
-Buy condoms THEN win Seifer's love
Seifer and Raijin then ran in from Edgar's squawk.
"Fujin, we've been so worried, ya know? You've been asleep for 16 whole hours!" Raijin cried as he hugged her, almost squishing Edgar.
"APOLOGETIC."
"Oh don't worry," Raijin smiled. "You only passed out because you got your period, ya know!"
"Um, and how would you know that?" Seifer said as his first words since Fujin had woke up. Everyone in the room turned to stare at Raijin. "My hyne, did you check!?"
"I don't want to talk about it, ya know!" Raijin fled the room.
"He acts just like a child." Seifer rolled his eyes.
'Raijin, just like a child?' Fujin thought. 'But everyone says Seifer acts like a child… Child… Child… Child… STOP IT!'
~*~FUJIN'S DAYDREAM~*~
"Get me a fucking beer, woman! Ya know?" Her child screamed at her.
~*~THE END~*~
Yes, it was short, but it was so scary that she had to stop.
Fujin's revised mental 'to do' list:
-Forgot about the lights so you can buy the best-damned birth control you can get your little white hands on so you can then win Seifer's love
The period is something feared by some woman and all men… except for my dad… who has an obsession with talking about it and buying me pounds of chocolate when he finds out I have it…
Anyway…
Fujin's period was feared by everyone, but now it was wished more than ever before that she didn't have it. With Fujin having her period there was no one to stop the devil from kidnapping Edgar…
***
To the posse's surprise, the devil didn't come back the next day, nor on the next.
Seifer watched the playboy channel, and Fujin was in less pain than before. And when Fujin wasn't in pain everyone had a right to be happy.
Everything was going great, until the third day, when the devil woke with a thirst for revenge…
***
"Hey! I woke and I have a thirst for revenge!" So… the devil went to Seifer's house! He thought of a most devious plot.
Step 1: Walk in house
Step 2: Pick up Turkey
Step 3: Leave
And somehow, even though it was crazy, he pulled it off.
He had done his homework and knew that Fujin would be sleeping, he just didn't know how restless she would be when his scent met her…
***
Running… Heat… Burning…
Find Edgar… Get Edgar…
Do Seifer…
Hey! Where the hell did that come from?
Fujin awoke and threw herself up breathing heavily.
She had been surrounded by fire… She had to go to where her dreams lead her… This is why her life had been so miserable! This is why the other girls had screamed that at her! It was her destiny to go to hell!
She stepped out of bed and noticed she had a costume just like Superman's on, only in a more feminine design. And it said PMS across it…
"…I hate living with Raijin…" Fujin groaned as she fled down the hall.
"And where are you going?" Seifer questioned as he saw her go past the door. He fled down the hallway in an attempt to stop her.
"TO HELL."
"What did you say to me?!" Seifer growled as he tried to grab her, but she burst out the door. When he followed… She was gone…
"Where the hell did she go?"
"It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's PMS woman!" An anonymous guy yelled as he looked at the sky.
"Ah, shut up."
***
Fujin landed softly at the doorway to hell, where she found Cerberus.
"Hey guys." Fujin said, using a normal tone. Somehow she felt at home with the hellish creatures…
Cerberus A: Someone finally recognizes us as individuals…
Cerberus B: Yeah, it's great.
Cerberus C: *drools*
"Hey… Don't you guys belong in the Underworld? This is hell!"
Cerberus B: Is there a difference?
Cerberus A: Let me explain…
Cerberus C: *drools*
"I'll be fine… Anyway, you know in Hercules…" Fujin murmured. A blush spread across her cheeks.
***
Seifer sighed. He must have said something… again. Fujin hardly showed her anger, so when she did he knew something had gone really wrong.
He growled. Why did it always have to be like this? At least he wouldn't have to apologize. He never did.
One morning she would wake up and come out, and he would know he was forgiven. Of course Raijin would never expect anything. He was too dumb to notice the tension in the house.
'Heh, when you live with a dangerous woman like Fu, you gotta learn to read her. I think I've got her down pretty well.' Seifer thought, and of course her only thought that. Silly Seify…
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Wait, did he say that to me? "Stop thinking of Fu like that Seifer…" Oh good… I gotta get back into the author groove. ::slaps self::
Hmm, they did fight like a couple… Furthermore, Raijin was kind of the child… Though he did think of Fujin as a sister, and she was younger than he was, Raijin would never reach Fujin's maturity.
I guess we've been through a lot… We love each other… live together… Does that make us family...?
No, they couldn't be. Family was something he never depended on. He wasn't close to anyone. Fujin and Raijin were just his support. They were his minions! Yea, that was it. Then why was he so worried…?
***
Fujin burst through the devil's door on top of the Cerberus. I mean… Cerberus A, Cerberus B, and Cerberus C. As a note, Fujin later found out that their birth names were actually Elijah, Kitty (Cerberus B is actually a girl, and yes, they have separate units), and Mustadio.
"Wheeee- I mean! RAGE."
"Wow… where'd you get that thing?" The devil asked shaking, which confused Fujin a bit.
"NOT YOURS?"
Elijah: Whoopsie daisy. We got summoned awhile ago.
Kitty: I guess we went to the wrong place!
Mustadio: *drool*
***
Somewhere else Squall stood in front of a crowd at a junctioning tutorial. He was holding his hands out in front of himself, his face bright red.
"I'm sure he'll come any minute… Heh heh…"
"Squally-poo! You look so cute when you blush!" Rinoa screamed from the crowd… making him drift into a Rinoa killing dream… Ah… bliss…
***
Back in hell Elijah, Kitty, and Mustadio disappeared from under Fujin. In consequence, she fell flat on her butt. Fighting fears, she stood.
"I-" she gulped and pushed back tears. "I- want my turkey back…"
Normally the devil would've been a mean old bastard about it, but then he saw eyes full of tears.
"Fine, I'll give him back to you! But just because he's been making too many little baby turkeys and reeking havoc on my vegetable garden!"
"AFFIRMATIVE." So she took her Turkey home.
THE END
I mean, uh… ::looks at English teacher:: In conclusion, everyone was all happy like.
THE END
I mean…! Things quickly settled down after that. The posse was one big happy family again, and though Edgar did miss the chickens for awhile. After a short time, he was able to adjust to living with his mom again.
In conclusion, life was good in the Almasy residence.
Yes, I do need to work on technical paragraphs. Maybe one day I'll be in the mood to re-write this entire thing… LOL!!!