Chapter 2 :
Of Romulus and Rabbits
The three, a bit bewildered and disgusted, from the display of grotesque affection that they had just witnessed, headed toward the oak front doors.
"Wot the hell was that?" huffed Ron "Honestly, haven't they ever heard of a bed?"
"Well Ron, I'm sure some people get tired of beds after awhile. They want to spice it up a bit." replied Hermione, sounding all knowing as usuall.
Ron threw her a questionable look "You're talking like you've had experience! I'm sure you didn't read that in Hogwarts A History!"
Hemione blushed "Well... I.. Ron interrupted " YOU DIDN'T?! Don't tell me you and Krum...
"Oh keeve over Ron! Of course we didn't I...just...read a few books on...it, just in case..."
Harry watched silently as the two engaged, once again, into a heated argument. They continued their verbal scuffle all the way to the front doors of the castle. Then Harry spoke. "That walk seemed alot longer than usual." As he opened one of the doors ...suddenly a parade of fluffy pink and white rabbits billowed from every inch of the door, trampling them.
Under a shower of fluff "Bloody 'ell! First naked loonies, now an army of rabbits! Wots next?"
"How're we going to get inside?" asked Harry
"I have no flipping idea!" said Ron irritably as a rabbit piddled on his face. "We could blast them out of the way!"
"Ron!" yelled Hermione "How could you think of such a thing?"
"Well" said Harry" It looks like the only way." As he shook off a rabbit that was trying to nest on his head.
"No! I know a spell that might do it!"
"Oh of course you do!" said Ron imapatiently.
"Let's see... Ah! I've got it! Elevatio!" Hemione shouted, pointing her wand at a rabbit, the rabbit immediately flew upward.
After about 15 minutes all of them shouting the Elevation Spell the door was finally clear and they were now entering the entrance hall, when...
"Bloody 'ELL! Wot is that?!" Ron was pointing to wot looked like a man sized rabbit hoping around the entrance hall, on it's hind legs.
"Erm..." It seemed to have spotted them and was now hopping in their direction. As it hopped they relized that it wasn't a giant rabbit...it was a man in what appeared to be a rabbit suit.
"Wot kind of freaks does Dumbledore allow in this school?! I mean, I thought Snape was bad enough, now we have rolly-polely Sprout and Bunny Boy, here!"
The man hopped up to them "Wabbit!"
"Erm...I'm not a rabbit..." said Harry nervously.
"Who is this nutter?" Ron whispered to Hemione. Hermione Shrugged.
The man now turned to Ron "CAWWOT!!"
"Erm...Right..." The man started closing in on Ron, "Wot are you...(Then to Ron's disgust the man started nibbling on his hair.) ..EWW..GEROFF!" But the man didn't stop, instead he picked Ron up, still munching on his hair, and started off with him. "Ahhh! Get it off!" Just as the man was about to hop out of site, Professor Lupin came running down the stairs.
"Romulus!" He shouted . And the rabbit man stopped hopping "Put that boy down!" As he reached the bottom of the stairs. "I said put that boy DOWN!"
Romulus shook his head and said "Cawwot, mine!"
"No Romulus!" Said Lupin imaptiently. "This is a boy!" Lupin slowed down his speech as if he was talking to a small child "A boy!"
Romulus looked at Ron with odd disbelief. "Boy?"
"Yes Romulus." said Lupin in a soft voice.
Romulus immediately put Ron down and attempted to flatted the part of hair that was now sticking straight up with his slobber. "Sowwie, I ish...vewwie sowwie."
"Riiiight." said Ron . Romulus turned to Lupin with his head down, looking like a dog facing his master after peeing on the carpet. "I ish-" he started
"It's ok Romulus, although I will ask you not to do it again. Now, will you please go sit in my office for awhile and try to calm down a bit? I've set out some carrots for you."
"Cawwots!" said Romulus happily as he hopped away.
"Sorry about that Ron, my brother is a bit off his hinges today," said Lupin apologetically.
"Your brother?"
"Yes."
"Wot is...er...wrong with him?"
"Ron!" Hissed Hermione as she bustled over with Harry, elbowing him hard in the ribs.
"Oh it's al right." said Lupin "I don't mind being asked...you see on the third Tuesday of every month he partly transfigures into a rabbit."
"Riiiiiiiight.." said Ron.
"He has been transforming ever since he'd been bitten by a rabid Austrian Foamer," Lupin explained, "It's a type of rabbit, of course."
Harry asked, a bit hesitantly "So..er..that isn't...a bunny suit?"
"Nope."
"Blimey! That's freaky looking!"
"Yes...I suppose--
As a girl with red hair went screaming past the top of the staircase, followed by "CAWWOT!" and the freakish man rabbit.
"I'd better go tend to him, see you later." Lupin took off up the stairs and they saw him sprint out of sight.
Then all of a sudden they heard a familiar cold voice "Dammit! Remus can't you keep this thing under control?!" Followed by an "Eeep!", a sort of choking/gagging noise and a thump.
They heard Lupin shout "What the hell did you do to him Severus?!"
"Nothing! He started chewing on my hair and then he...just collapsed!!"
"Don't tell me..." started Harry.
"...He tried to eat Snape's hair!" Hemione finished.
"Uhhh gross! I hope he's not dead! Who knows when the last time that slime ball washed his hair was!"
"Come on I wanna see this!" said Harry, he started up the stairs and the other two followed.
They were almost at the top of the staircase when Lupin came around a corner carrying his brother. "If you washed your ruddy hair this wouldn't have happened! You greasy git!"
"Excuse me?! Greasy git?! Who do you think you're talking to?! Just because your freak brother tried to attack me, doesn't mean you have the right to go mouthing off! It serves him right anyway! A thing like that should not be allowed to run around a school! It should be locked up!" said Snape in a highly agitated voice.
"Much like you should!" Replied Lupin angrily.
The three, a bit bewildered and disgusted, from the display of grotesque affection that they had just witnessed, headed toward the oak front doors.
"Wot the hell was that?" huffed Ron "Honestly, haven't they ever heard of a bed?"
"Well Ron, I'm sure some people get tired of beds after awhile. They want to spice it up a bit." replied Hermione, sounding all knowing as usuall.
Ron threw her a questionable look "You're talking like you've had experience! I'm sure you didn't read that in Hogwarts A History!"
Hemione blushed "Well... I.. Ron interrupted " YOU DIDN'T?! Don't tell me you and Krum...
"Oh keeve over Ron! Of course we didn't I...just...read a few books on...it, just in case..."
Harry watched silently as the two engaged, once again, into a heated argument. They continued their verbal scuffle all the way to the front doors of the castle. Then Harry spoke. "That walk seemed alot longer than usual." As he opened one of the doors ...suddenly a parade of fluffy pink and white rabbits billowed from every inch of the door, trampling them.
Under a shower of fluff "Bloody 'ell! First naked loonies, now an army of rabbits! Wots next?"
"How're we going to get inside?" asked Harry
"I have no flipping idea!" said Ron irritably as a rabbit piddled on his face. "We could blast them out of the way!"
"Ron!" yelled Hermione "How could you think of such a thing?"
"Well" said Harry" It looks like the only way." As he shook off a rabbit that was trying to nest on his head.
"No! I know a spell that might do it!"
"Oh of course you do!" said Ron imapatiently.
"Let's see... Ah! I've got it! Elevatio!" Hemione shouted, pointing her wand at a rabbit, the rabbit immediately flew upward.
After about 15 minutes all of them shouting the Elevation Spell the door was finally clear and they were now entering the entrance hall, when...
"Bloody 'ELL! Wot is that?!" Ron was pointing to wot looked like a man sized rabbit hoping around the entrance hall, on it's hind legs.
"Erm..." It seemed to have spotted them and was now hopping in their direction. As it hopped they relized that it wasn't a giant rabbit...it was a man in what appeared to be a rabbit suit.
"Wot kind of freaks does Dumbledore allow in this school?! I mean, I thought Snape was bad enough, now we have rolly-polely Sprout and Bunny Boy, here!"
The man hopped up to them "Wabbit!"
"Erm...I'm not a rabbit..." said Harry nervously.
"Who is this nutter?" Ron whispered to Hemione. Hermione Shrugged.
The man now turned to Ron "CAWWOT!!"
"Erm...Right..." The man started closing in on Ron, "Wot are you...(Then to Ron's disgust the man started nibbling on his hair.) ..EWW..GEROFF!" But the man didn't stop, instead he picked Ron up, still munching on his hair, and started off with him. "Ahhh! Get it off!" Just as the man was about to hop out of site, Professor Lupin came running down the stairs.
"Romulus!" He shouted . And the rabbit man stopped hopping "Put that boy down!" As he reached the bottom of the stairs. "I said put that boy DOWN!"
Romulus shook his head and said "Cawwot, mine!"
"No Romulus!" Said Lupin imaptiently. "This is a boy!" Lupin slowed down his speech as if he was talking to a small child "A boy!"
Romulus looked at Ron with odd disbelief. "Boy?"
"Yes Romulus." said Lupin in a soft voice.
Romulus immediately put Ron down and attempted to flatted the part of hair that was now sticking straight up with his slobber. "Sowwie, I ish...vewwie sowwie."
"Riiiight." said Ron . Romulus turned to Lupin with his head down, looking like a dog facing his master after peeing on the carpet. "I ish-" he started
"It's ok Romulus, although I will ask you not to do it again. Now, will you please go sit in my office for awhile and try to calm down a bit? I've set out some carrots for you."
"Cawwots!" said Romulus happily as he hopped away.
"Sorry about that Ron, my brother is a bit off his hinges today," said Lupin apologetically.
"Your brother?"
"Yes."
"Wot is...er...wrong with him?"
"Ron!" Hissed Hermione as she bustled over with Harry, elbowing him hard in the ribs.
"Oh it's al right." said Lupin "I don't mind being asked...you see on the third Tuesday of every month he partly transfigures into a rabbit."
"Riiiiiiiight.." said Ron.
"He has been transforming ever since he'd been bitten by a rabid Austrian Foamer," Lupin explained, "It's a type of rabbit, of course."
Harry asked, a bit hesitantly "So..er..that isn't...a bunny suit?"
"Nope."
"Blimey! That's freaky looking!"
"Yes...I suppose--
As a girl with red hair went screaming past the top of the staircase, followed by "CAWWOT!" and the freakish man rabbit.
"I'd better go tend to him, see you later." Lupin took off up the stairs and they saw him sprint out of sight.
Then all of a sudden they heard a familiar cold voice "Dammit! Remus can't you keep this thing under control?!" Followed by an "Eeep!", a sort of choking/gagging noise and a thump.
They heard Lupin shout "What the hell did you do to him Severus?!"
"Nothing! He started chewing on my hair and then he...just collapsed!!"
"Don't tell me..." started Harry.
"...He tried to eat Snape's hair!" Hemione finished.
"Uhhh gross! I hope he's not dead! Who knows when the last time that slime ball washed his hair was!"
"Come on I wanna see this!" said Harry, he started up the stairs and the other two followed.
They were almost at the top of the staircase when Lupin came around a corner carrying his brother. "If you washed your ruddy hair this wouldn't have happened! You greasy git!"
"Excuse me?! Greasy git?! Who do you think you're talking to?! Just because your freak brother tried to attack me, doesn't mean you have the right to go mouthing off! It serves him right anyway! A thing like that should not be allowed to run around a school! It should be locked up!" said Snape in a highly agitated voice.
"Much like you should!" Replied Lupin angrily.