Chapter 4:
The Funky Thong
The room was filled with a collective intake of breath. Ron's mouth fell open. And Lupin said in amazement "Severus, your hair...it's...it's...CLEAN!" Dumbledore sniffed the air.
"And you no longer smell like old cabbage!" He exclaimed, excitedly. Hermione stood, transfixed at the new and improved, no longer greasy Snape.
"He's so...perdy!"
"Er...Hermione...are you al right?" asked Ron sounding a bit worried. Hermione completely ignoring Ron, ran over to Snape and started belting out "You are so beautiful, to me, can't you seeeeeee, you're everything I hoped for, your everything I neeeeeed!" Octavia was now standing in the doorway of the bathroom laughing her ass off.
"Well look at that Severus, one wash and you already have a fan club started."
Snape turned to look at Octavia "Indeed? Well, it seems to me you must've been the first to join, judging by the way your eyes almost popped out of their sockets as I got out of the tub." He said with a note of amusement in his voice. Octavia turned a bright shade of scarlet and retreated back into the bathroom. Then all of a sudden Dumbledore flew through the air, looking rather like a ferocious parrot, and tackled Snape to the floor.
Sounding like an in raged colored woman "You obtuse man-whore, she's mine and you can not have her! So take your cheap 2 cent ass back to the corner where it belongs!"
"Riiiiight" Said Ron.
"Dumbledore wot the hell are you talking about?" asked a bewildered Snape.
He looked a bit crazed "Octavia!! She's MINE! ALL MINE! MUHAHAHAH!!" At this Octavia came back into the room.
"Who the hell just screamed my name? What the hell is goin' on out here? Dumbledore, why the hell are you on top of Snape? Where the hell are my pantyhose?"
"Octavia I LOVE YOU!" shouted Dumbledore.
"When the hell did this happen? How the hell is that possible?"
"Riiiiiiight." Said Ron at this confusing, chaotic scene.
Dumbledore had completely lost it. "I want to have your babies!"
"Riiiiight." Said Octavia and Ron in unison. "I think I'll just be off to fetch my pantyhose." She made for the door but before she could leave Dumbledore had lept in front of it. "Er.. Albus, do you mind moving?"
"Yes, I do indeed."
"Right then.." Then Dumbledore grabbed her head and laid a big smooch on her. When he let go Octavia looked absolutely horrified.
"What's the matter Gum drop?"
Octavia's mood changed quickly from horror to anger. "Listen gramps, if you ever do that again, you'll be pissing out of your ass and shitting out of your ears faster than you can blink, understand? And if i were you I'd move my wrinkled ass out of the way, before someone looses an extremity. MOVE now! (Dumbledore moved out of the way with out the slightest hesitation) Thank you, oh and Albus, I strongly suggest you try not to over dose on Mydixaflat. It's not healty." Then she saw something lacey, that looked awfully familiar sticking out of his robes. She pulled it out. "How did you get this?!" She said furiously holding up a very lacey, black bra. Dumbledore stayed quiet and immediately overted his eyes to the floor. "Hmm?" And what's this?!" Spotting something else sticking out. She pulled out a matching black thong. Snape raised his eyesbrows at the sight of the thong. "Your absolutely MAD! Honestly, stealing my under garments! So it was you that stole my lucky... I mean... pantyhose."
A smile spread across Snape's face."Lucky pantyhose Octavia?" He raised an eyebrow. "Oh my, I wonder what those could possibly be for." Octavia turned bright scarlet again, and chose to ignore Snape's comments.
"Well?!" She said irritably. "Where are my pantyhose?"
"I don't have them." Said Dumbledore still looking at the floor.
"Well that's a little hard to believe, concidering you seemed to have started a collection of my lingerie."
"No I haven't" He said sheepishly.
"Oh no? Then what are these?" As she waved the panty set in the air.
"Those...are..."
"Yes?!"
"Aren't...yours..."
"What?! Who the hell do they belong to then?" She examined the thong and noticed a shit stain. "UHHHH GROSS!" She quickly threw them to the floor.
"Well...they belong to..." Their was a long pause. No one really cared, they're weren't very anxious to hear who the owner was.
"M-Minerva!"
Snape winced, Lupin shuddered, Ron gaged and Harry, well lets just say he was lucky there was a clean bed pan near by, Hermione, who was still in her trance payed no attention to this and just kept staring at Snape.
"Blimey! Professor Dumbledore, you and Professor McGonagal-"
"Don't say it boy!" Snape cut in. "I have enough horrid imagery running around in my mind right now." He looked at the thong on the floor and flinched.
The Funky Thong
The room was filled with a collective intake of breath. Ron's mouth fell open. And Lupin said in amazement "Severus, your hair...it's...it's...CLEAN!" Dumbledore sniffed the air.
"And you no longer smell like old cabbage!" He exclaimed, excitedly. Hermione stood, transfixed at the new and improved, no longer greasy Snape.
"He's so...perdy!"
"Er...Hermione...are you al right?" asked Ron sounding a bit worried. Hermione completely ignoring Ron, ran over to Snape and started belting out "You are so beautiful, to me, can't you seeeeeee, you're everything I hoped for, your everything I neeeeeed!" Octavia was now standing in the doorway of the bathroom laughing her ass off.
"Well look at that Severus, one wash and you already have a fan club started."
Snape turned to look at Octavia "Indeed? Well, it seems to me you must've been the first to join, judging by the way your eyes almost popped out of their sockets as I got out of the tub." He said with a note of amusement in his voice. Octavia turned a bright shade of scarlet and retreated back into the bathroom. Then all of a sudden Dumbledore flew through the air, looking rather like a ferocious parrot, and tackled Snape to the floor.
Sounding like an in raged colored woman "You obtuse man-whore, she's mine and you can not have her! So take your cheap 2 cent ass back to the corner where it belongs!"
"Riiiiight" Said Ron.
"Dumbledore wot the hell are you talking about?" asked a bewildered Snape.
He looked a bit crazed "Octavia!! She's MINE! ALL MINE! MUHAHAHAH!!" At this Octavia came back into the room.
"Who the hell just screamed my name? What the hell is goin' on out here? Dumbledore, why the hell are you on top of Snape? Where the hell are my pantyhose?"
"Octavia I LOVE YOU!" shouted Dumbledore.
"When the hell did this happen? How the hell is that possible?"
"Riiiiiiight." Said Ron at this confusing, chaotic scene.
Dumbledore had completely lost it. "I want to have your babies!"
"Riiiiight." Said Octavia and Ron in unison. "I think I'll just be off to fetch my pantyhose." She made for the door but before she could leave Dumbledore had lept in front of it. "Er.. Albus, do you mind moving?"
"Yes, I do indeed."
"Right then.." Then Dumbledore grabbed her head and laid a big smooch on her. When he let go Octavia looked absolutely horrified.
"What's the matter Gum drop?"
Octavia's mood changed quickly from horror to anger. "Listen gramps, if you ever do that again, you'll be pissing out of your ass and shitting out of your ears faster than you can blink, understand? And if i were you I'd move my wrinkled ass out of the way, before someone looses an extremity. MOVE now! (Dumbledore moved out of the way with out the slightest hesitation) Thank you, oh and Albus, I strongly suggest you try not to over dose on Mydixaflat. It's not healty." Then she saw something lacey, that looked awfully familiar sticking out of his robes. She pulled it out. "How did you get this?!" She said furiously holding up a very lacey, black bra. Dumbledore stayed quiet and immediately overted his eyes to the floor. "Hmm?" And what's this?!" Spotting something else sticking out. She pulled out a matching black thong. Snape raised his eyesbrows at the sight of the thong. "Your absolutely MAD! Honestly, stealing my under garments! So it was you that stole my lucky... I mean... pantyhose."
A smile spread across Snape's face."Lucky pantyhose Octavia?" He raised an eyebrow. "Oh my, I wonder what those could possibly be for." Octavia turned bright scarlet again, and chose to ignore Snape's comments.
"Well?!" She said irritably. "Where are my pantyhose?"
"I don't have them." Said Dumbledore still looking at the floor.
"Well that's a little hard to believe, concidering you seemed to have started a collection of my lingerie."
"No I haven't" He said sheepishly.
"Oh no? Then what are these?" As she waved the panty set in the air.
"Those...are..."
"Yes?!"
"Aren't...yours..."
"What?! Who the hell do they belong to then?" She examined the thong and noticed a shit stain. "UHHHH GROSS!" She quickly threw them to the floor.
"Well...they belong to..." Their was a long pause. No one really cared, they're weren't very anxious to hear who the owner was.
"M-Minerva!"
Snape winced, Lupin shuddered, Ron gaged and Harry, well lets just say he was lucky there was a clean bed pan near by, Hermione, who was still in her trance payed no attention to this and just kept staring at Snape.
"Blimey! Professor Dumbledore, you and Professor McGonagal-"
"Don't say it boy!" Snape cut in. "I have enough horrid imagery running around in my mind right now." He looked at the thong on the floor and flinched.