Chapter 5:
The Man in the Pantyhose
Octavia now looking a bit sick "Does she even wipe?" At this everyone in the room, except Dumbledore gave loud groans of disgust. "I mean it's not a very hard process, you do your "bidness" then you swab the deck. Anyway, let's get off the topic of, Minerva's lack of moral practice, shall we say?." They all strongly agreed with this idea. "Now back to my missing pantyhose, if you don't have them...then who does?" (Eerie music plays) "Who would steal them?"
Later that night at dinner. Lucius Malfoy burst in to the Great Hall. He must've dressed hastily because the front of his robes where tucked up in...
"My lucky pantyhose!" Octavia yelled "Lucius is wearing my pantyhose!" Just about every head in the Great Hall turned to Mr. Malfoy. At once there was a thunderous eruption of laughter. Lucius's eyes widened, he looked down and clamped his thighs together covering himself with his hands. He look around at all the hysterically laughing faces and turned very red.
"What are you all tittering at!" He bellowed (as if he didn't know)
"I think that is quite obvious Lucius." Said Dumbledore with a tear of laughter running down his cheek. "It's not everyday the students get to see a full grown man in sparkly, orange, women's pantyhose, now is it?"
"I'm in no mood for your nonsense Albus." He spat.
Snape raised an eyebrow "His nonsense, ha! Your the one in Octavia's pantyhose!" And to every ones surprise, even to the people who started screaming in fits of laughter, at Snape's comment, were shocked.
"Holy shit!" Whooped Ron and Snape in unison. "Did everyone just laugh at what I (he) said? They joined.
"Albus!" Yelled Lucius "I'm here for Ugly."
"Ugly? Is he leaving?" asked Dumbledore.
"For a bit, yes, I'm going on tour...I mean...we're taking a tour...of...(the first country that came to mind) Canada."
"Canada, Eh?" Said Dumbledore. "And what about his schooling?"
"I've hired a tutor for the road..."
"Very well then."
"Come on Ugly we have to go." Lucius yelled over to the Slytherin table. And immediately his son (formerly known as Draco now Ugly Malfoy) was at his side.
"Father, you still have lipstick on you face." Ugly whispered. Lucius quickly whipped it off and lead his son toward the door.
"Wait a minute!" yelled Octavia standing up. "You still have my pantyhose!" She shouted. Lucius looked back then made a run for it. "Hey! Come back here! I want my pantyhose!" And she quickly got up and ran toward the doors at lightning speed, as if to save a child from a burning building. From the open Great Hall door they heard scuffling, then a loud SPLAT.
"You killed Britney! You Bitch!" Ugly cried.
"Oh shut up Ugly he's not dead! Did you just call him Britney?" They heard Octavia reply.
"Er...no..." He lied.
"Yes you did! I distinctly heard you call him Britney!"
By this point all the teachers had cleared the staff table and were now observing the situation in the Entrance Hall. Many students were packing out of the Great Hall to get a look at this.
"Wha...What?" Said Lucius dazed from his head hitting the floor when Octavia jumped him.
"Your son just called you Britney." chuckled Octavia.
"WHAT?!" He shot a dangerous look at Ugly. And leapt up knocking Octavia to the floor.
"I'm...I'm sorry father..." whimpered Ugly.
"Dammit Ugly! What the hell is the matter with you?! Don't you ever learn, boy?! I'm still trying to cover up the last time you almost gave it away, when you thought it would be fun to show everyone daddy's dresses!."
"Riiiight...Ok i don't know what kind of freaky shit goes on in your family, but all I want are my pantyhose and I'll leave you to it."
"No!" Screamed Lucius.
"What do you mean "No!" they're my pantyhose!" And Octavia jumped on Lucius once again, knocking them both to the floor, as they began rolling around on the ground, fighting.
"They're mine biotch!" yelled Lucius.
"NO! They are mine HOE!" howled Octavia.
They heard Fred Weasley yell "Cat-fight!"
Octavia reached down to try to pull her pantyhose off Lucius. She greatly regretted this. "AHHHHHH! You're not a man!" Turning to the crowd behind her, impersonating Austin Powers "It's a woman BAYBE!"
The Man in the Pantyhose
Octavia now looking a bit sick "Does she even wipe?" At this everyone in the room, except Dumbledore gave loud groans of disgust. "I mean it's not a very hard process, you do your "bidness" then you swab the deck. Anyway, let's get off the topic of, Minerva's lack of moral practice, shall we say?." They all strongly agreed with this idea. "Now back to my missing pantyhose, if you don't have them...then who does?" (Eerie music plays) "Who would steal them?"
Later that night at dinner. Lucius Malfoy burst in to the Great Hall. He must've dressed hastily because the front of his robes where tucked up in...
"My lucky pantyhose!" Octavia yelled "Lucius is wearing my pantyhose!" Just about every head in the Great Hall turned to Mr. Malfoy. At once there was a thunderous eruption of laughter. Lucius's eyes widened, he looked down and clamped his thighs together covering himself with his hands. He look around at all the hysterically laughing faces and turned very red.
"What are you all tittering at!" He bellowed (as if he didn't know)
"I think that is quite obvious Lucius." Said Dumbledore with a tear of laughter running down his cheek. "It's not everyday the students get to see a full grown man in sparkly, orange, women's pantyhose, now is it?"
"I'm in no mood for your nonsense Albus." He spat.
Snape raised an eyebrow "His nonsense, ha! Your the one in Octavia's pantyhose!" And to every ones surprise, even to the people who started screaming in fits of laughter, at Snape's comment, were shocked.
"Holy shit!" Whooped Ron and Snape in unison. "Did everyone just laugh at what I (he) said? They joined.
"Albus!" Yelled Lucius "I'm here for Ugly."
"Ugly? Is he leaving?" asked Dumbledore.
"For a bit, yes, I'm going on tour...I mean...we're taking a tour...of...(the first country that came to mind) Canada."
"Canada, Eh?" Said Dumbledore. "And what about his schooling?"
"I've hired a tutor for the road..."
"Very well then."
"Come on Ugly we have to go." Lucius yelled over to the Slytherin table. And immediately his son (formerly known as Draco now Ugly Malfoy) was at his side.
"Father, you still have lipstick on you face." Ugly whispered. Lucius quickly whipped it off and lead his son toward the door.
"Wait a minute!" yelled Octavia standing up. "You still have my pantyhose!" She shouted. Lucius looked back then made a run for it. "Hey! Come back here! I want my pantyhose!" And she quickly got up and ran toward the doors at lightning speed, as if to save a child from a burning building. From the open Great Hall door they heard scuffling, then a loud SPLAT.
"You killed Britney! You Bitch!" Ugly cried.
"Oh shut up Ugly he's not dead! Did you just call him Britney?" They heard Octavia reply.
"Er...no..." He lied.
"Yes you did! I distinctly heard you call him Britney!"
By this point all the teachers had cleared the staff table and were now observing the situation in the Entrance Hall. Many students were packing out of the Great Hall to get a look at this.
"Wha...What?" Said Lucius dazed from his head hitting the floor when Octavia jumped him.
"Your son just called you Britney." chuckled Octavia.
"WHAT?!" He shot a dangerous look at Ugly. And leapt up knocking Octavia to the floor.
"I'm...I'm sorry father..." whimpered Ugly.
"Dammit Ugly! What the hell is the matter with you?! Don't you ever learn, boy?! I'm still trying to cover up the last time you almost gave it away, when you thought it would be fun to show everyone daddy's dresses!."
"Riiiight...Ok i don't know what kind of freaky shit goes on in your family, but all I want are my pantyhose and I'll leave you to it."
"No!" Screamed Lucius.
"What do you mean "No!" they're my pantyhose!" And Octavia jumped on Lucius once again, knocking them both to the floor, as they began rolling around on the ground, fighting.
"They're mine biotch!" yelled Lucius.
"NO! They are mine HOE!" howled Octavia.
They heard Fred Weasley yell "Cat-fight!"
Octavia reached down to try to pull her pantyhose off Lucius. She greatly regretted this. "AHHHHHH! You're not a man!" Turning to the crowd behind her, impersonating Austin Powers "It's a woman BAYBE!"