Chapter 6
Lucius Spears?
There where so many gasps, it felt as though all the air was being sucked out of the Great Hall. "What the f**k?!" Exclaimed Snape.
Lucius put his hand over his face and shook his head. "I am not a woman."
Octavia's eyebrows rose. "Well not according to that!" As she pointed to the upper part of the pantyhose.
"I don't really have a HE-HER, it's just a spell."
"Riiiiiight." About half of the people in the great hall said together.
"Why the hell would you want to magically change your twig and berries into a female chia pet?!" Asked Octavia. Some of the first years in the room looked a bit confused.
"Because he's BRITNEY SPEARS!" Exclaimed Ugly as he started to dance around and sing. "Oh baybay baybay how was I suppose to know..."
"Riiiiiight..."
"UGLY! Shut up!" Yelled Lucius. Most of the hall was still bewildered, people where asking:
"Who is Britney Spears?" "Does he mean Brookney Queers?"
But Hermione, Harry and Octavia, who lived in the muggle world when they were away from Hogwarts, were all rolling on the floor, howling with laughter .
"AHAHAHAHAHAH. He's Britney Spears! AHAHAHAHAHA!. Octavia, with a shout of laughter. Harry got up off the floor and was attempting an odd looking dance while singing "I'm a slaaaave for you! HAHAHAHA!" As he fell back to the floor.
"Al right! Enough." Lucius barked at the three. "Yes I am Britney Spears! For the past 5 years I've been leading a double life."
As Ugly ripped off his shirt, fell to his knees and sung "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman."
"Riiiiiiight."
"That's enough Ugly, lets go!" Ordered Lucius. And Ugly stopped singing and went over to his father.
"You have fun on tour now." Said Octavia, laughing. "Try not to dress too slutty."
And Lucius turned around with a very nasty look on his face and spat in Octavia's direction and she quickly ducked, but the spit kept flying right toward Snape. (In slow motion) "Noooo!" And he went to run but before he could... SPLAT. Snape wobbled on the spot, as if he was just shot, and fell to the floor. Octavia rushed over. (a play on the dramatic I love you scenes from Titanic & Beauty and the Beast)
"Severus!" She cried. "Are you alright?"
"My HAIR!!" He screamed. "NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"
"It's alright Severus, it will be alright.
"No." He said weakly. "I don't think I'm going to make it, I'm cold, I'm so cold."
"No Severus! You have to make it!"
Snape shivered. "You'll live a long life Octavia; you'll die an old woman in a tree." He makes a snorting noise and pretends to die.
I tear trickles down Octavia's face "No! I LOVE YOU!"
Immediately opening his eyes, he said, "You do?"
"No, not really."
"Oh...right then."
"But you are cute. And I think I have something that will save you." Then she pulled out a gleaming, gold bottle of Herbal Essence. Snape's eyes lit up.
"Is t-that for me?" Asked Snape with a huge smile.
"Yes of course it is." Replied Octavia.
"Well give it here!" As he ripped the bottle out of her hands and opened it. A gust of wind came from the bottle with the same music that had been playing in the hospital wing. Then out of no where three men with what looked like almost glowing hair came striding into the great hall. One of the men had long blonde hair (Hermione's mouth dropped open at the sight of him and she stared dreamily at him like she had done to Snape) the other two had shoulder length brown hair. They walked over to where Snape and Octavia were. Octavia looked up at the three and smiled.
The blonde one concededly flipped his long hair from side to side, hitting both of the other men in the face.
"Legolas! What did I just tell you about that?!" Said one of the men.
"Oh, sorry Aragorn."
"Do be more careful!" Said the other, rubbing his eyes.
"Yes, Boromir," Said Legolas as he looked down at Snape. "Again already Severus?"
"Yes." Said Octavia, beaming up at him.
"I've got spit in my hair!" Cried Snape.
"Alright, we'd better get on with it." Said Legolas and the other two nodded. Legolas took the bottle from Snape and poured a sufficient amount into his hand and he tossed it to the others who did the same. Then the three of them started massaging it into Snape's hair.
"OOOOOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSSS." Screamed Snape. YESSS YESSSSS!" Percy plugged Ginny's ears.
Octavia, dreamy eyed, like Hermione, stood over the man called Boromir's shoulder. She got so close to him she was practically on top of him. He looked over his shoulder at her.
"Ehhh...Octavia...."
"Yes love?"
Dumbledore leapt through the air once again and slammed Boromir to the ground.
"Listen slut bag! She is mine! All MINE-" At this point Octavia had jumped on Dumbledore.
"Get the hell off him! You psychotic ass hole!"
Then out of no where came Minerva, joining the pile "You get off of my man, you WHORE!"
Snape gasped and then joined the pile as well, screaming, "She's not a whore, skid marks! Why don't you go wipe your ass?!"
Lucius Spears?
There where so many gasps, it felt as though all the air was being sucked out of the Great Hall. "What the f**k?!" Exclaimed Snape.
Lucius put his hand over his face and shook his head. "I am not a woman."
Octavia's eyebrows rose. "Well not according to that!" As she pointed to the upper part of the pantyhose.
"I don't really have a HE-HER, it's just a spell."
"Riiiiiight." About half of the people in the great hall said together.
"Why the hell would you want to magically change your twig and berries into a female chia pet?!" Asked Octavia. Some of the first years in the room looked a bit confused.
"Because he's BRITNEY SPEARS!" Exclaimed Ugly as he started to dance around and sing. "Oh baybay baybay how was I suppose to know..."
"Riiiiiight..."
"UGLY! Shut up!" Yelled Lucius. Most of the hall was still bewildered, people where asking:
"Who is Britney Spears?" "Does he mean Brookney Queers?"
But Hermione, Harry and Octavia, who lived in the muggle world when they were away from Hogwarts, were all rolling on the floor, howling with laughter .
"AHAHAHAHAHAH. He's Britney Spears! AHAHAHAHAHA!. Octavia, with a shout of laughter. Harry got up off the floor and was attempting an odd looking dance while singing "I'm a slaaaave for you! HAHAHAHA!" As he fell back to the floor.
"Al right! Enough." Lucius barked at the three. "Yes I am Britney Spears! For the past 5 years I've been leading a double life."
As Ugly ripped off his shirt, fell to his knees and sung "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman."
"Riiiiiiight."
"That's enough Ugly, lets go!" Ordered Lucius. And Ugly stopped singing and went over to his father.
"You have fun on tour now." Said Octavia, laughing. "Try not to dress too slutty."
And Lucius turned around with a very nasty look on his face and spat in Octavia's direction and she quickly ducked, but the spit kept flying right toward Snape. (In slow motion) "Noooo!" And he went to run but before he could... SPLAT. Snape wobbled on the spot, as if he was just shot, and fell to the floor. Octavia rushed over. (a play on the dramatic I love you scenes from Titanic & Beauty and the Beast)
"Severus!" She cried. "Are you alright?"
"My HAIR!!" He screamed. "NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"
"It's alright Severus, it will be alright.
"No." He said weakly. "I don't think I'm going to make it, I'm cold, I'm so cold."
"No Severus! You have to make it!"
Snape shivered. "You'll live a long life Octavia; you'll die an old woman in a tree." He makes a snorting noise and pretends to die.
I tear trickles down Octavia's face "No! I LOVE YOU!"
Immediately opening his eyes, he said, "You do?"
"No, not really."
"Oh...right then."
"But you are cute. And I think I have something that will save you." Then she pulled out a gleaming, gold bottle of Herbal Essence. Snape's eyes lit up.
"Is t-that for me?" Asked Snape with a huge smile.
"Yes of course it is." Replied Octavia.
"Well give it here!" As he ripped the bottle out of her hands and opened it. A gust of wind came from the bottle with the same music that had been playing in the hospital wing. Then out of no where three men with what looked like almost glowing hair came striding into the great hall. One of the men had long blonde hair (Hermione's mouth dropped open at the sight of him and she stared dreamily at him like she had done to Snape) the other two had shoulder length brown hair. They walked over to where Snape and Octavia were. Octavia looked up at the three and smiled.
The blonde one concededly flipped his long hair from side to side, hitting both of the other men in the face.
"Legolas! What did I just tell you about that?!" Said one of the men.
"Oh, sorry Aragorn."
"Do be more careful!" Said the other, rubbing his eyes.
"Yes, Boromir," Said Legolas as he looked down at Snape. "Again already Severus?"
"Yes." Said Octavia, beaming up at him.
"I've got spit in my hair!" Cried Snape.
"Alright, we'd better get on with it." Said Legolas and the other two nodded. Legolas took the bottle from Snape and poured a sufficient amount into his hand and he tossed it to the others who did the same. Then the three of them started massaging it into Snape's hair.
"OOOOOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSSS." Screamed Snape. YESSS YESSSSS!" Percy plugged Ginny's ears.
Octavia, dreamy eyed, like Hermione, stood over the man called Boromir's shoulder. She got so close to him she was practically on top of him. He looked over his shoulder at her.
"Ehhh...Octavia...."
"Yes love?"
Dumbledore leapt through the air once again and slammed Boromir to the ground.
"Listen slut bag! She is mine! All MINE-" At this point Octavia had jumped on Dumbledore.
"Get the hell off him! You psychotic ass hole!"
Then out of no where came Minerva, joining the pile "You get off of my man, you WHORE!"
Snape gasped and then joined the pile as well, screaming, "She's not a whore, skid marks! Why don't you go wipe your ass?!"