another disclaimer: I don't own any of J.R.R Tolkien's characters. Yeah
that must be a hard one to figure out.
Chapter 8 It's Raining Rainbows!
Octavia followed him out of curiosity, and Boromir followed because he was getting freaked out at the way Gandalf seemed to be sizing him up. When Snape got to his room he imediately saw what Gandalf called a "special suprise" - a life-size cardboard cut out of Gandalf...NUDE!
Snape looked horrified "Oh my--" *PUKE*
When Octavia reached Snape's room, closely followed by Boromir, she found Snape on the floor clutching his stomach, looking very sick. "Severus what's the-- She looked through the open door to his room "AHHH! What the hell is THAT!" As she twicthed, at the site of Gandalf's naked body. Boromir looked inside also.
"Good God!" He screamed and quickly caught a case of the dry heaves. "That's *gag* DISGUSTING! *gag*"
A couple minutes later, with Boromir still gaging and Octavia now puking alongside Snape, Gandalf strolled in with a huge, gay-like grin on his face. He looked at Boromir who shuddered, then at Octavia and Snape on the floor. "What's the matter Sevi-poo? Didn't like my present?"
Snape struggling to speak while puking. "I'm not *puke* a *&%*ing butt- bumper Gandalf! And don't EVER call me Sevi-poo again!"
"Oh but we can change that." As he walked over, turned around, squatted and rubed his butt on Snape's leg.
Snape's eyes bulged, he stopped puking, "What exactly do you think you're doing? Just because YOU like to explore the plumbing doesnt mean that I like to!" As he hopped up and ran out of the dungeon screaming "FAG! FAG IN THE DUNGEON! FAAAAAAG IN THE DUNGEON!"
At this Octavia stood up "You stay away from him! You a** raiding, butt- lovin', cushion savage! I'm warning you!" And she ran after Snape.
"Well...I see Snape's rejected me, but there is still. you." Gandalf said, looking at Boromir, who looked like he was in shock. Gandalf shifted toward him, batting his eyelashes. "You find me sexy, don't you Boromir?"
"Uhhh..." Gandalf pinched his butt. "AHHHHHHH!!!!" And he, similar to Snape, went screaming out of the dungeon. "A** GRABBER! A** GRABBER IN THE DUNGEON!
Octavia found Snape in the great hall being comforted by the Notorious H-o- o-ch.
*A mug shot of Hooch is shown* Now on the set of 'Britains Most Wanted', a man starts talking "This woman is wanted in just about every country in Europe, for being a Hoochie mama,as her name clearly states. She is extremely dangerous and could hump at any moment. She may be using any of the following names: Madame Slut, Pros Titute, Hoe In A Robe or Whorella Quickfoot. If you have seen this woman or have any information relating to her please call: 1-800-Kill-Hoes or visit us on the web at: www.killhoes.org/those/nasty/bitches/must/die
Back at Hogwarts. Snape was sobbing in Hooches arms. "A-and then he tried to hump my leg!" As Hooch was rubbing his back then moved her hands down to his bum.
Octavia looked a bit pissed. "Ahem," she said loudly. "If it isn't 'Fluffies', it's 'HOOCHies'." She said, shooting a look at Hooch
Snape looked at Hooch. Obviously he hadn't realized who he was bawling on. "Ew, why the hell am I crying on YOU!" And he pushed her away. Just then Boromir burst into the great hall still screaming "A** grabber a** grabber in the dungeon! ..Thought you ought to know." And he pulled a Quirrell and fainted.
"Boromir!" Octavia cried, and ran over to him. Snape just rolled his eyes. (Is he feeling a bit jealous?) "Boromir!? Are you alright?!"
"Yea... I'm just really tired." And he laid his head on Octavia's lap. (Octavia thinks "Hey now!") "It was a long run up here from the dungeon, and I was screaming all the way."
"Oh." She smiled. "I see."
Snape stood over the two, arms folded. "Octavia? I thought Lucius took your lucky pantyhose?"
"What?" Octavia asked. Snape motioned his eyes and noded in Bormir's direction, with a nasty look on his face.
"Oh, Severus don't be a pric--"
Dumbledore came in very out of breath. "We...need...to...get...all the children...inside the great hall." He panted. Hooch ran over and and started humping Dumbledore's leg. "Uhh...get off?" He said uncertainly, kicking her off.
"What's the matter Albus? Why do we need to get all the children inside?" Asked Minervawhore.
"There's something running wild in the castle... And it did this..." He walked out the door and he returned with Gilderoy Lockhart, who was in a hot pink, frilly, wedding dress sort of thing, with a pair of high-heeled hot pink boots to match, pink lipstick, his eyebrows had been plucked and he had a face full of heavily caked on make-up, with rainbow hair.
"Ughhhhh! What the hell kind of creature would do that to someone?" said Octavia.
"I did!" Said Gilderoy proudly. "Do you like it?" Pushing his hair up.
"Uhhhh...no, not particularly."
"Well if you did that, then who did.." Began Dumbledore, leaving the great hall again, only to return with another person.
Everyone in the room shrieked.
"Who is that!?" Asked Boromir sounding distressed. The man, if it was in fact a man, that Dumbledore brought in had a head full of extremely long bright violet banana curls and long eyelashes, also heavily make-uped, wearing a short, orange go-go dress, with matching thigh high go-go boots. He started sobbing into his hands.
"It's me!. Screamed the man. "LEGOLAS!"
Everyone looked dreadfully shocked.
"And this was at the scene of the crime." Dumbledore pulled a big piece of cardboard out from behind the door...
Octavia, twitching, cried, "Gandalf!"
"Oh no, not that again!" Said Boromir covering his eyes.
"WHYYYYYYYY?!" Screamed Legolas who was now on his knees. "My HAIR ! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" And he started crying uncontrollably.
"Er.. it'll be alright Leggie." Said Octavia patting him on the back. "I'm sure Madam Pomfrey can fix everything." At that moment they heard, what sounded like a heated argument coming from the great hall.
"I wont do it! I just wont!" They heard one voice say.
"Oh come on Laurence, it's just a few rainbows!" Said another voice.
"No! The castle is absolutely smashing just as it is, and i will not alter the interior in any way."
"Dammit Laurence! What do you think I called you guys in for? Your show is called 'Changing' Rooms."
Octavia "That's Gandalf's voice! Lets get him!"
Chapter 8 It's Raining Rainbows!
Octavia followed him out of curiosity, and Boromir followed because he was getting freaked out at the way Gandalf seemed to be sizing him up. When Snape got to his room he imediately saw what Gandalf called a "special suprise" - a life-size cardboard cut out of Gandalf...NUDE!
Snape looked horrified "Oh my--" *PUKE*
When Octavia reached Snape's room, closely followed by Boromir, she found Snape on the floor clutching his stomach, looking very sick. "Severus what's the-- She looked through the open door to his room "AHHH! What the hell is THAT!" As she twicthed, at the site of Gandalf's naked body. Boromir looked inside also.
"Good God!" He screamed and quickly caught a case of the dry heaves. "That's *gag* DISGUSTING! *gag*"
A couple minutes later, with Boromir still gaging and Octavia now puking alongside Snape, Gandalf strolled in with a huge, gay-like grin on his face. He looked at Boromir who shuddered, then at Octavia and Snape on the floor. "What's the matter Sevi-poo? Didn't like my present?"
Snape struggling to speak while puking. "I'm not *puke* a *&%*ing butt- bumper Gandalf! And don't EVER call me Sevi-poo again!"
"Oh but we can change that." As he walked over, turned around, squatted and rubed his butt on Snape's leg.
Snape's eyes bulged, he stopped puking, "What exactly do you think you're doing? Just because YOU like to explore the plumbing doesnt mean that I like to!" As he hopped up and ran out of the dungeon screaming "FAG! FAG IN THE DUNGEON! FAAAAAAG IN THE DUNGEON!"
At this Octavia stood up "You stay away from him! You a** raiding, butt- lovin', cushion savage! I'm warning you!" And she ran after Snape.
"Well...I see Snape's rejected me, but there is still. you." Gandalf said, looking at Boromir, who looked like he was in shock. Gandalf shifted toward him, batting his eyelashes. "You find me sexy, don't you Boromir?"
"Uhhh..." Gandalf pinched his butt. "AHHHHHHH!!!!" And he, similar to Snape, went screaming out of the dungeon. "A** GRABBER! A** GRABBER IN THE DUNGEON!
Octavia found Snape in the great hall being comforted by the Notorious H-o- o-ch.
*A mug shot of Hooch is shown* Now on the set of 'Britains Most Wanted', a man starts talking "This woman is wanted in just about every country in Europe, for being a Hoochie mama,as her name clearly states. She is extremely dangerous and could hump at any moment. She may be using any of the following names: Madame Slut, Pros Titute, Hoe In A Robe or Whorella Quickfoot. If you have seen this woman or have any information relating to her please call: 1-800-Kill-Hoes or visit us on the web at: www.killhoes.org/those/nasty/bitches/must/die
Back at Hogwarts. Snape was sobbing in Hooches arms. "A-and then he tried to hump my leg!" As Hooch was rubbing his back then moved her hands down to his bum.
Octavia looked a bit pissed. "Ahem," she said loudly. "If it isn't 'Fluffies', it's 'HOOCHies'." She said, shooting a look at Hooch
Snape looked at Hooch. Obviously he hadn't realized who he was bawling on. "Ew, why the hell am I crying on YOU!" And he pushed her away. Just then Boromir burst into the great hall still screaming "A** grabber a** grabber in the dungeon! ..Thought you ought to know." And he pulled a Quirrell and fainted.
"Boromir!" Octavia cried, and ran over to him. Snape just rolled his eyes. (Is he feeling a bit jealous?) "Boromir!? Are you alright?!"
"Yea... I'm just really tired." And he laid his head on Octavia's lap. (Octavia thinks "Hey now!") "It was a long run up here from the dungeon, and I was screaming all the way."
"Oh." She smiled. "I see."
Snape stood over the two, arms folded. "Octavia? I thought Lucius took your lucky pantyhose?"
"What?" Octavia asked. Snape motioned his eyes and noded in Bormir's direction, with a nasty look on his face.
"Oh, Severus don't be a pric--"
Dumbledore came in very out of breath. "We...need...to...get...all the children...inside the great hall." He panted. Hooch ran over and and started humping Dumbledore's leg. "Uhh...get off?" He said uncertainly, kicking her off.
"What's the matter Albus? Why do we need to get all the children inside?" Asked Minervawhore.
"There's something running wild in the castle... And it did this..." He walked out the door and he returned with Gilderoy Lockhart, who was in a hot pink, frilly, wedding dress sort of thing, with a pair of high-heeled hot pink boots to match, pink lipstick, his eyebrows had been plucked and he had a face full of heavily caked on make-up, with rainbow hair.
"Ughhhhh! What the hell kind of creature would do that to someone?" said Octavia.
"I did!" Said Gilderoy proudly. "Do you like it?" Pushing his hair up.
"Uhhhh...no, not particularly."
"Well if you did that, then who did.." Began Dumbledore, leaving the great hall again, only to return with another person.
Everyone in the room shrieked.
"Who is that!?" Asked Boromir sounding distressed. The man, if it was in fact a man, that Dumbledore brought in had a head full of extremely long bright violet banana curls and long eyelashes, also heavily make-uped, wearing a short, orange go-go dress, with matching thigh high go-go boots. He started sobbing into his hands.
"It's me!. Screamed the man. "LEGOLAS!"
Everyone looked dreadfully shocked.
"And this was at the scene of the crime." Dumbledore pulled a big piece of cardboard out from behind the door...
Octavia, twitching, cried, "Gandalf!"
"Oh no, not that again!" Said Boromir covering his eyes.
"WHYYYYYYYY?!" Screamed Legolas who was now on his knees. "My HAIR ! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" And he started crying uncontrollably.
"Er.. it'll be alright Leggie." Said Octavia patting him on the back. "I'm sure Madam Pomfrey can fix everything." At that moment they heard, what sounded like a heated argument coming from the great hall.
"I wont do it! I just wont!" They heard one voice say.
"Oh come on Laurence, it's just a few rainbows!" Said another voice.
"No! The castle is absolutely smashing just as it is, and i will not alter the interior in any way."
"Dammit Laurence! What do you think I called you guys in for? Your show is called 'Changing' Rooms."
Octavia "That's Gandalf's voice! Lets get him!"