Chapter 9 Keep On Your Pants
and Jacket
Octavia was the first to charge out of the great hall doors, closely followed by Dumbledore, Minervawhore, Snape and Boromir.
"Alright Gandalf!(who she noticed for some odd reason was wearing a trench coat) I've had enough of you trying to spread your homo love! You're going down!" And she went to tackle him but before she could.... Gandalf had opened his trench coat to reveal....nothing but his bare skin. "AHHHHH MY EYES!" Octavia covered her face with her arms and fell to the floor. "I'm blind! I'm FRICKIN' BLIND!"
"Uhhh Octavia, your eyes are shut." said Boromir.
"Oh...right then." And she opened her eyes.
"You bastard! How dare you flash her!" Yelled Snape as he looked as though, he too was going to attempt a lunge. Gandalf held on to the front of his coat as though he was about to open it again. And Snape not wanting to see the horrible site slowly started backing away.
"HAHAHAHA ! That's what I thought!" Said Gandalf tauntingly. "Now I'll just be off."
Just then, Neville Longbottom was walking down the hall. Gandalf looked at him and a broad smile spread across his face. Then he pirouetted across the hall and grabbed Neville. "Might as well take another victim." He said in a strangely mad voice.
"V-v-victim?" Studdered Nieville.
"Yes! Victim! Muuuuhahahahaha!" cackled Gandalf. All of a sudden Neville's pants seemed to have sprung a leak. "What the hell?" Said Gandalf "Ughhh! I don't want to take you NOW! You piss pot!" He looked around for someone else and decided to grab the person nearest to him; Octavia.
"Ahhh ! What the hell do you think you're doing? Let me go!" As he threw her over his shoulder and took off down a corridor. They heard Octavia screaming for atleast 10 minutes, things like "You damn pillow pusher! Where the hell do you think you are? Fags R Us?" Then when her screams where out of ear shot. Snape said "What are we going to do?! We can't just leave him to torture her!"
"It's all my fault!" Whimpered Boromir. "I could've saved her!"
"No! It's not your fault! You couldn't have done anything!" Said Snape reassuringly.
Dumbledore seemed to be pondering. "No, Severus is right, you alone couldn't've stopped him. I don't think any of us here have the power to stop him. He has too much flammer strength. I think it's time we call on...."
"Ghost Busters!" Said Gilderoy brightly, as he stepped into the entrance hall.
"No Gilderoy, not ghost busters, we need to call on our brothers of 'the Force'."
"What do you mean, like LAPD or something?" Asked Boromir
"No! I'm talking about our brothers of 'the Force.' You know, the Jedi."
"Oooooh."
"I'll go send my dear friend Obi-Wan an owl...no wait, that wont do, I'll have to try and magic up a post droid. While I'm off doing that, if you three," he turned to look at Severus, Boromir and Minerva, "Would kindly collect all the students and staff and escort them inside the great hall." The three nodded and were off.
The great hall was filled with a buzz of chatter for quite sometime, until Dumbledore had told everyone it was time for bed and they would be informed of all that was going on, in the morning.
The morning came quickly, since it seemed to start at 5:00 am, when all of a sudden a group of people and creatures, that none of the students had ever seen before burst through the doors. Lead by a rather youthful looking man, holding what looked like a glowing sword of light. "Where is he?!" He demanded. As he moved from side to side gripping his glowing sword tightly.
"Anikan! Put your light sabre away!" Said another man, with light brown hair and a beard to match. He was wearing light brown robes. "Now Anikan!" And the young man reluctantly extinguished his "light sabre".
"Ahh Obi-Wan!" Said Dumbledore making his way to the front of the great hall. "I didn't expect to see you here so soon."
"Yes, well, young Anikan here was so anxious to get here, he rushed us all on a brand new ship, that was built for quick travel. The thing is, it had never been tested before now, and could've just exploded at any moment!" He said scornfully looking at the man named Anikan, who tried to argue.
"But i was only--
"I don't want to hear it!" said Obi-Wan.
"But--
"I won't listen to your excuses!"
"Obi--
"Zip it!"
"N--
"I think someone needs to take a visit to www.shhh.com."
"Grrrr."
"Anyway." Said Obi-Wan still eying Anikan. "You have our full services." He said as Dumbledore nodded.
"We need to--
Then the 2 doors of the great hall burst open yet again. It was Octavia, her robes were ripped and torn and she seemed to be greatly shooken up. Everyone turned to look at her. "No! I will not sleep with Hooch Gandalf! Noooo! Ahhh Get away from me! Ahhhh!! Lesbian germs!!" And she fell to the floor.
"Octavia!" Screamed Snape and Boromir together.
Octavia was the first to charge out of the great hall doors, closely followed by Dumbledore, Minervawhore, Snape and Boromir.
"Alright Gandalf!(who she noticed for some odd reason was wearing a trench coat) I've had enough of you trying to spread your homo love! You're going down!" And she went to tackle him but before she could.... Gandalf had opened his trench coat to reveal....nothing but his bare skin. "AHHHHH MY EYES!" Octavia covered her face with her arms and fell to the floor. "I'm blind! I'm FRICKIN' BLIND!"
"Uhhh Octavia, your eyes are shut." said Boromir.
"Oh...right then." And she opened her eyes.
"You bastard! How dare you flash her!" Yelled Snape as he looked as though, he too was going to attempt a lunge. Gandalf held on to the front of his coat as though he was about to open it again. And Snape not wanting to see the horrible site slowly started backing away.
"HAHAHAHA ! That's what I thought!" Said Gandalf tauntingly. "Now I'll just be off."
Just then, Neville Longbottom was walking down the hall. Gandalf looked at him and a broad smile spread across his face. Then he pirouetted across the hall and grabbed Neville. "Might as well take another victim." He said in a strangely mad voice.
"V-v-victim?" Studdered Nieville.
"Yes! Victim! Muuuuhahahahaha!" cackled Gandalf. All of a sudden Neville's pants seemed to have sprung a leak. "What the hell?" Said Gandalf "Ughhh! I don't want to take you NOW! You piss pot!" He looked around for someone else and decided to grab the person nearest to him; Octavia.
"Ahhh ! What the hell do you think you're doing? Let me go!" As he threw her over his shoulder and took off down a corridor. They heard Octavia screaming for atleast 10 minutes, things like "You damn pillow pusher! Where the hell do you think you are? Fags R Us?" Then when her screams where out of ear shot. Snape said "What are we going to do?! We can't just leave him to torture her!"
"It's all my fault!" Whimpered Boromir. "I could've saved her!"
"No! It's not your fault! You couldn't have done anything!" Said Snape reassuringly.
Dumbledore seemed to be pondering. "No, Severus is right, you alone couldn't've stopped him. I don't think any of us here have the power to stop him. He has too much flammer strength. I think it's time we call on...."
"Ghost Busters!" Said Gilderoy brightly, as he stepped into the entrance hall.
"No Gilderoy, not ghost busters, we need to call on our brothers of 'the Force'."
"What do you mean, like LAPD or something?" Asked Boromir
"No! I'm talking about our brothers of 'the Force.' You know, the Jedi."
"Oooooh."
"I'll go send my dear friend Obi-Wan an owl...no wait, that wont do, I'll have to try and magic up a post droid. While I'm off doing that, if you three," he turned to look at Severus, Boromir and Minerva, "Would kindly collect all the students and staff and escort them inside the great hall." The three nodded and were off.
The great hall was filled with a buzz of chatter for quite sometime, until Dumbledore had told everyone it was time for bed and they would be informed of all that was going on, in the morning.
The morning came quickly, since it seemed to start at 5:00 am, when all of a sudden a group of people and creatures, that none of the students had ever seen before burst through the doors. Lead by a rather youthful looking man, holding what looked like a glowing sword of light. "Where is he?!" He demanded. As he moved from side to side gripping his glowing sword tightly.
"Anikan! Put your light sabre away!" Said another man, with light brown hair and a beard to match. He was wearing light brown robes. "Now Anikan!" And the young man reluctantly extinguished his "light sabre".
"Ahh Obi-Wan!" Said Dumbledore making his way to the front of the great hall. "I didn't expect to see you here so soon."
"Yes, well, young Anikan here was so anxious to get here, he rushed us all on a brand new ship, that was built for quick travel. The thing is, it had never been tested before now, and could've just exploded at any moment!" He said scornfully looking at the man named Anikan, who tried to argue.
"But i was only--
"I don't want to hear it!" said Obi-Wan.
"But--
"I won't listen to your excuses!"
"Obi--
"Zip it!"
"N--
"I think someone needs to take a visit to www.shhh.com."
"Grrrr."
"Anyway." Said Obi-Wan still eying Anikan. "You have our full services." He said as Dumbledore nodded.
"We need to--
Then the 2 doors of the great hall burst open yet again. It was Octavia, her robes were ripped and torn and she seemed to be greatly shooken up. Everyone turned to look at her. "No! I will not sleep with Hooch Gandalf! Noooo! Ahhh Get away from me! Ahhhh!! Lesbian germs!!" And she fell to the floor.
"Octavia!" Screamed Snape and Boromir together.