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Sinful Endeavors
By: Fatema
Sinful Endeavors
By: Fatema
Feedback to: haquef111@Yahoo.com
Rated:
PG-13 at best
Author's Note: For the two HP shorts I've written,
I've gotten amazing amounts of responses. I've also noticed you all
like angst like I do. This one has been spinning around in my head
for quite some time and with the recent reviews I have been
encouraged to write it. Please let me know what you think by
reviewing. It means the world to me (especially when I don't get
paid for this, feedback is my paycheck!).
Summary: Harry and
Ginny have had a long and happy marriage, until the moment came
where the truth just wouldn't stay a secret any longer. With this
secret came much sorrow and pain. You get to live that pain through
the words of this tale. It's a tale of sinful endeavors and how it
has affected the people involved.
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The tears feel heedlessly, no words were necessary, no movements
were made. The tears just continued to fall down her slightly
freckled face. She was the one who had destroyed what was so
important to her. It was her that had done it and now she paid for
it.
Her heart felt like more broken than she could even imagine.
Right now she couldn't even care anymore. Silence rang through the
house that used to hold so much happiness. It wasn't happy
anymore.
How had she gotten so caught up in something so badly that she
couldn't even see straight? That she knew, she knew, it was
ruining her life, that it would ruin her life, yet she had willingly
done it. There was no one to blame but herself.
She knew that he had every reason to be angry with her. Every
reason to hate her and she believed that he hated her. She believed
that with all of her heart. She had seen it in his eyes. In
those beautiful bright green eyes of his.
They once showed how he loved her, but now showed pure hatred and
so much pain. So much sorrow that she could barely hold onto
reality. It felt as if it was slipping away from her. Too fast; too
damn fast.
She didn't bother wipe away the tears that continued to fall. She
knew that it was no use for they would fall anyway. She had given up
on wiping away the tears.
Her mind flashed through all that has happened, all that she knew
was happening, and all that she had ignored because she got lost in
one moment. She got lost in one single moment that destroyed her
life.
No it wasn't a single moment. It really wasn't. It was
more than that. It was the adrenalin rush that she felt when she was
with him. The way he made her heart beat so erratically. The
way he seduced her with his words, with his movements, with his very
touch.
But was it worth it? Was it worth it to have her life destroyed
like this?
Truth was it wasn't. She was suffering and she knew why. She was
the one who had done it all and she was now facing the consequences.
Could she really blame anyone but herself?
She thought about the first time it had happened. It had been
after a fight she had with Harry. It wasn't one of those good
fights. It was the more nasty ones. She had gone off on him for
always working late hours and never being around the house.
Why had she gone off on him that night?
Because she was afraid. That was the truth. She was afraid for
his life. Every time he had left the house she feared that she would
never see him again. That she would hear it from someone else that
he was gone. He was dead. And that was not something she
wanted to hear at all.
And as most of their fights started this way, this one had also.
"I hate that you leave me like this! I hate you for leaving me
like this!" she yelled at him.
"Ginny you don't hate me. This is my job! I have to do this," he
yelled back at her, so damn frustrated. Why was it that she always
did this? Why couldn't she understand how important all of this was?
He gave up Quidditch to get this job, so that he could help people.
She just didn't seem to understand that.
"No I hate what you do Harry. Everyday you leave and I am afraid
of whether or not you are going to come back to me. I am afraid of
the fact that I may never see you again and it doesn't help anymore.
Your words don't help anymore. I hate the fact that you do this job
and I am not strong enough to take it," she told him honestly, still
yelling.
He got a sorrowful look on his face. "I am sorry," he said
quietly. "I am sorry Gin, but I have to do this."
"Why?" she yelled at him.
"Because this is what I was meant to do," he replied. He looked
down at the watch on his hand seeing the time. "I have to go."
"Don't leave me Harry. Don't leave me otherwise I may do
something you won't like. Don't leave," she warned him, her voice
nearly reaching its most desperate peak.
"It won't be like last time Gin. I'll be fine," he tried
reassuring her again.
"NO! I told you your words wouldn't help me! Last time you almost
died Harry! If they were a few minutes late you would've died! I
won't take that chance again. I won't go through that pain again!"
she yelled at him.
He sighed. "I'll see you when I get back Ginny," he told her
before walking out the door.
That was the moment she had really lost it all. She had done what
she wasn't supposed to do. She had gone out, after him really, but
ended up in a completely different place. She couldn't keep up with
him and she had ended up in the one place she sure as hell didn't
want to be in.
He was surprised to see her, but his gray eyes had held a spark
there somewhere. His eyes pulled her in, somehow making her hungry,
craving for his very touch. It was strange. It was so very
strange.
She used to be repulsed by him, but when she saw him, something
changed. To this very day she couldn't tell what that attraction it
was, but it was something. It led her to where she was now.
And then he had circled her, after staring at her for a very long
time. He finally touched her then. His articulate fingers ran over
her jaw and down to the slight cleavage that was showing.
And throughout all of this she did nothing. She said nothing. She
did nothing. She was too fascinated. His eyes held onto hers before
his mouth had come crashing down hers.
For nearly fifteen minutes he kissed her like no one else had
kissed her before. Not even Harry. She didn't even realize what she
was doing. She had just kissed him back. It was so different, so
erotic. She could have barely believed it, but she knew that it was
the truth, that it was happening, right then and there.
That was when she had gotten lost in the passion. She had
forgotten reality as it was and had lived for only his touch. And
each and every time they had met the craving to be with him
increased. Every time it was better. It felt so much better and she
didn't know how to stop it.
She didn't even realize when it had happened. She had become
addicted to Draco Malfoy's touch and couldn't live without it. The
lies came easier and easier. The first few times it was the hardest
thing she could do, but as time wore on, as they continued to meet
in secret, it became so easy that she didn't even think twice. She
didn't even blink as she looked into Harry's green eyes. It had
become that easy for her.
She drew her knees closer to her body as a sob raked through her
body at the simple thought of it. Everything had gone too far. Harry
was so hurt. In all of her life, in all the time that she had been
with him, that she had known him, she had promised that she would be
the one person he could always count on. That she would be the
person that he could always trust. That she would be the person who
would never hurt him.
And she was now the person who hurt him more than anyone else.
"All those promises... all those vows... they meant nothing to
you did they?" he seethed in anger and pain.
"It meant something to me Harry. Believe me it did," she tried to
explain, the tears falling furiously. She came forward, hoping to
touch him, but he moved away.
"Don't you dare Ginny. Don't you dare touch me with those hands,"
he said in a furious voice.
She felt like breaking right then and there. His eyes were as
cold as ice. She had never seen them so hurt, so angry, and so cold.
Never. "I love you."
"No don't say that," he yelled. "You don't love me."
"YES I do Harry," she yelled back.
"No! NO! You don't love me. You couldn't have done this to me if
you loved me," he told her. He ran his hands through his hair
feeling as if he was going crazy. He tugged at it hard, so damn
hard, hoping that the pain of it would override the pain he felt in
his heart, but it was no use.
"Please..." she whispered weakly.
"How long have we been together Gin?" he asked quietly, not
looking at her, his voice so defeated. "How long has it been? Ten
years maybe?" he said choking on his own words. "Ten years and you
threw all of that away, just like that. You kept doing it too." He
finally turned to look at her. "Why did you do it? What did he have
that I didn't? What did he give you that I couldn't in ten years?"
"Harry there was nothing..."
"There HAD to be something Ginny!" he yelled suddenly making her
jump. "There had to be something that he had that I didn't for you
to throw away so much... for you to hurt me like this... for you to
destroy our lives."
"Let me explain..."
"You can't explain. There is nothing that you can possibly say,"
he told her coldly before turning around and leaving her. Leaving
her forever...
The thought made her cry harder. She couldn't take it. She just
couldn't.
Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She knew that touch.
She knew it oh so very well.
She stood up immediately, going on the defensive. She faced him
once again. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I came to see how you are," he replied quietly. She laughed a
bitter laugh.
"It's not like you care," she said bitterly.
"You're wrong Ginny. I do care," he said earnestly. She laughed
again, that sickened, defeated, bitter laugh.
She shook her head. "You know if I didn't know you are such a
liar I may have bought that," she said quietly.
"I mean it," he repeated.
She turned her fiery eyes towards him. "You really do think that
I didn't know don't you Draco? You really do believe that I don't
know you are the one who did this? That you are the one who set it
up so that Harry would find us right?"
He said nothing, which angered her even more. She started walking
towards him, an accusing finger pointed at him. "You set him up. You
destroyed my life. You made me lose everything that had ever meant
anything to me."
"I didn't do any of that. He really must've not meant anything to
you if you were so willing to go to bed with me," he seethed, her
tone and accusations hitting the spot, making him react in the way
he didn't want to.
She laughed. Another bitter laugh.
He hated those laughs.
Her face turned serious again. "You are a sick twisted bastard
and if I never see you again it'll be too early," she said in a cold
voice. "I want you to leave. I want you to forget that you ever met
me. Take your victory and leave me."
"I don't want to leave you. Don't you see Ginny?" he asked
placing a hand on her shoulder. She recoiled from his touch as if
she was burned. "I love you."
"NO! NO! NO!" she yelled over and over again. "Don't you dare say
that! You can't love! You don't know how to love! All you know how
to do is destroy! GET OUT!"
"Ginny..."
"Don't call me that. Don't call me that. Don't say that. Just get
out. Just get out," she repeated over and over again. Oh dear God
she was going crazy. Reality was finally slipping away.
"Please..."
"NO!" she yelled a final time. Her eyes finally connected with
his and he saw the message that was written within them. She was
surely done with it all. He saw the pain and the confusion. He saw
all that there was needed to be seen. "Let me be."
He said nothing. He took one last look at her before Apparating
out of the room. But before he left he said three simple words that
broke her heart even further.
"I love you."
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