Chapter two has no name. Bahahahahahahaha!
Disclaimer: I do not own WoT or any other poor sap that I've just happened to drag into the fic.
Oh yeah, sorry I haven't updated in awhile, there have been some.....problems between me and a video game. We've worked it out and rest asured, our bond is strong as ever. hehehehhe.
And book ten got pushed back! Ghaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
---Place where Whitecloaks are---
"IDIOTS! FOOLS!!! FETID BEASTS!!! YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO CALL YOURSELVES CHILDREN OF THE LIGHT!!---
~Cue Holy Music~
--TO BE SHAMED BY THE DARKFRIENDS CRAZED WIFE!! PATHETIC!!" Bornhald bellowed. (God I missed that insane bellowing:)
Ima Pansy hung his head in shame.
Chedder Wheel tried, but the neck brace prevented it.
Dill Pickle squeaked from his body cast. It had been signed by Whitecloaks....er.....Children of the LIght--
~Cue Holy Music~
--and Fain. I can't remember how to spell his first name. I shall be lashed with cheese sticks for a thousand years for my punishment. :)
"Sorry sir." Chedder Wheel piped in.
"Bluebells and cheese!" cheered Ima Pansy.
"Mmmmmmhmmmm." squealed Dill Pickle.
Bornhald paced, stomped on a kittens tail that just happen to wander into his tent, glared at the Whitecloaks........Children of Light--
~cue Holy Music~
--and said "FINE!! Shame us no more! Kill the Darkfriend and all kittens you see!! Buhahahahahah!"
Kitten: Holy Meow Mix! *bolts for the door, hops a plane to Egypt and lives like a god for the rest of his life*
---Two Rivers--
Perrin was yaking on the phone to Rand about the game and munching on Doritos while Faile screamed at Fastwind over the sweater that the wolf had chewed up.
--Faile's Perspective
"LIGHT BURN YOUR FLEA BITTEN HIDE YOU WORTHLESS EXCUSE FOR A CANINE! THIS WAS MY GOOD SWEATER! MY GOOD SWEATER! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THIS COST?!!!!!!!!!!! Faile screamed while shaking the ragged pink sweater at the perplexed wolf.
--Fastwinds Perspective
Okay. The she is obviously having some sort of nervous fit. Maybe she wants to play? Yeah, that chewy pink thing was fun. Does she want to play with that? It's already broken in. Very chewy. Wonder if she has anymore? I'll have to go check.
--Faile
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! PERRIN DO SOMETHING!!"
--Fastwind
Wow. She can howl. I can to. AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
--Faile
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!! It's attacking me! Perrin! Get off the %&^$% phone!
--Fastwind
YEAH! She wants to play! *pounces on Faile*
--Faile
"I WANT A %&^%&^*^*^*^ DIVORCE!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! ^*&^(^(&^(%%$&^%(*)&^(*$^ wolf! (*^&$^#&^%#^(^$#&^%(&^#(^#^#&^@(^&^&^%#(#& *seizes up and passes out*
"Yeah. Faile and Fastwind are just playing............naw...she wouldn't hurt her over that sweater. It was ugly anyway." Perrin said into the phone, flicknig through channels. "Yeah, talk to ya later. Give them Aes Sedai a few more laps...yeah.....hehehe."
He replaced the phone, started to play the playstation again, when--
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
He ignored it.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"Go away." he yelled, he was fighting the Grand Jewel on LoD. It was a mother of a boss fight.
"Girl Scout cookies."
Perrin stopped, looked at the door. Eyed it darkly. Stomped over and opened it.
Three men dressed as Girl Scouts stood on his back door, one was holding a thick coil of rope. One was holding a box of...something with a skull and crossbones on it. The other was in a full body cast in a wheelchair.
"Can I help you?"
"We are selling Girl Scout cookies. Would you like to buy Girl Scout cookies? We have some Girl Scout cookies if you would like to buy some." said Chedder Wheel. Ima Pansy held out the box to him.
Perrin looked at them. Eyed the cookies, looked around till he spotted the steep hill that had been placed there via author magic just for a certain purpose.
Grinned evilly.
"Yeah, my money is buried over by that steep hill. Follow me." he offered and started for the steep drop.
Blindingly trusting, the Three Whitecloaks.....errr....Children of the Light--
~cue Holy Music~
--followed him.
"Now just stand right there." Perrin advised, positioning Pansy and and Chedder directly in front of Dill and his wheelchair, who was facing the steep drop.
"Bluebells and cheese." said Pansy.
Perrin gave the back of the chair a solid kick and watched it mow down Chedder and Pansy and drag them down to the bottom,in a scraming mess, then turned back into the house, where Faile was just waking.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Not much." Perrin replied, dialed up Mat, and continued to play LoD.
Pop: Fun!
Perrin: Can I PLEASE go home now?
Lavitz: I already told you, I'M first. I get to go. ME!
Pop: Shush! I doing happy dance. *does happy dance*
Perrin: SAVE ME!! SOMEONE HELP!!
Disclaimer: I do not own WoT or any other poor sap that I've just happened to drag into the fic.
Oh yeah, sorry I haven't updated in awhile, there have been some.....problems between me and a video game. We've worked it out and rest asured, our bond is strong as ever. hehehehhe.
And book ten got pushed back! Ghaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
---Place where Whitecloaks are---
"IDIOTS! FOOLS!!! FETID BEASTS!!! YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO CALL YOURSELVES CHILDREN OF THE LIGHT!!---
~Cue Holy Music~
--TO BE SHAMED BY THE DARKFRIENDS CRAZED WIFE!! PATHETIC!!" Bornhald bellowed. (God I missed that insane bellowing:)
Ima Pansy hung his head in shame.
Chedder Wheel tried, but the neck brace prevented it.
Dill Pickle squeaked from his body cast. It had been signed by Whitecloaks....er.....Children of the LIght--
~Cue Holy Music~
--and Fain. I can't remember how to spell his first name. I shall be lashed with cheese sticks for a thousand years for my punishment. :)
"Sorry sir." Chedder Wheel piped in.
"Bluebells and cheese!" cheered Ima Pansy.
"Mmmmmmhmmmm." squealed Dill Pickle.
Bornhald paced, stomped on a kittens tail that just happen to wander into his tent, glared at the Whitecloaks........Children of Light--
~cue Holy Music~
--and said "FINE!! Shame us no more! Kill the Darkfriend and all kittens you see!! Buhahahahahah!"
Kitten: Holy Meow Mix! *bolts for the door, hops a plane to Egypt and lives like a god for the rest of his life*
---Two Rivers--
Perrin was yaking on the phone to Rand about the game and munching on Doritos while Faile screamed at Fastwind over the sweater that the wolf had chewed up.
--Faile's Perspective
"LIGHT BURN YOUR FLEA BITTEN HIDE YOU WORTHLESS EXCUSE FOR A CANINE! THIS WAS MY GOOD SWEATER! MY GOOD SWEATER! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THIS COST?!!!!!!!!!!! Faile screamed while shaking the ragged pink sweater at the perplexed wolf.
--Fastwinds Perspective
Okay. The she is obviously having some sort of nervous fit. Maybe she wants to play? Yeah, that chewy pink thing was fun. Does she want to play with that? It's already broken in. Very chewy. Wonder if she has anymore? I'll have to go check.
--Faile
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! PERRIN DO SOMETHING!!"
--Fastwind
Wow. She can howl. I can to. AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
--Faile
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!! It's attacking me! Perrin! Get off the %&^$% phone!
--Fastwind
YEAH! She wants to play! *pounces on Faile*
--Faile
"I WANT A %&^%&^*^*^*^ DIVORCE!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! ^*&^(^(&^(%%$&^%(*)&^(*$^ wolf! (*^&$^#&^%#^(^$#&^%(&^#(^#^#&^@(^&^&^%#(#& *seizes up and passes out*
"Yeah. Faile and Fastwind are just playing............naw...she wouldn't hurt her over that sweater. It was ugly anyway." Perrin said into the phone, flicknig through channels. "Yeah, talk to ya later. Give them Aes Sedai a few more laps...yeah.....hehehe."
He replaced the phone, started to play the playstation again, when--
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
He ignored it.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"Go away." he yelled, he was fighting the Grand Jewel on LoD. It was a mother of a boss fight.
"Girl Scout cookies."
Perrin stopped, looked at the door. Eyed it darkly. Stomped over and opened it.
Three men dressed as Girl Scouts stood on his back door, one was holding a thick coil of rope. One was holding a box of...something with a skull and crossbones on it. The other was in a full body cast in a wheelchair.
"Can I help you?"
"We are selling Girl Scout cookies. Would you like to buy Girl Scout cookies? We have some Girl Scout cookies if you would like to buy some." said Chedder Wheel. Ima Pansy held out the box to him.
Perrin looked at them. Eyed the cookies, looked around till he spotted the steep hill that had been placed there via author magic just for a certain purpose.
Grinned evilly.
"Yeah, my money is buried over by that steep hill. Follow me." he offered and started for the steep drop.
Blindingly trusting, the Three Whitecloaks.....errr....Children of the Light--
~cue Holy Music~
--followed him.
"Now just stand right there." Perrin advised, positioning Pansy and and Chedder directly in front of Dill and his wheelchair, who was facing the steep drop.
"Bluebells and cheese." said Pansy.
Perrin gave the back of the chair a solid kick and watched it mow down Chedder and Pansy and drag them down to the bottom,in a scraming mess, then turned back into the house, where Faile was just waking.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Not much." Perrin replied, dialed up Mat, and continued to play LoD.
Pop: Fun!
Perrin: Can I PLEASE go home now?
Lavitz: I already told you, I'M first. I get to go. ME!
Pop: Shush! I doing happy dance. *does happy dance*
Perrin: SAVE ME!! SOMEONE HELP!!